0:02
Hello, everyone and welcome to Lean in to your superpower.
0:08
We are Kathleen and Zeina A K A, the lion and the Ram.
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And we've built an entire podcast on harnessing and utilizing your superpower.
0:19
Our wish is for this to be a safe place where we talk about why knowing your superpower is so vital to your success, whether it be personal, professional or financial, right?
0:31
So the last podcast we discussed, you know how to fall in love with your superpowers is right around Valentine's Day.
0:38
Why other people's opinion of you are none of your business as a way to fall in love with your with yourself and your authentic self.
0:47
And today we are going to be discussing how to get out of your own way to become your own superhero.
0:54
So it's really all about how to face yourself.
0:58
This is a you versus you world and we are super excited to be talking about it.
1:04
We're gonna get a little philosophical today, so stay with us Berlin, but we are super excited to be here with you guys.
1:15
We like to call you our warriors because that's how we think of you every day, right against ourselves.
1:22
We're going against,, different challenges.
1:25
, we always have to keep our mindset and so we're going to really dive into mindset today.
1:30
But first, like we always like to do, we like to check in, see, see how our week has been.
1:35
, what this topic may bring up for you, Kathleen.
1:41
Well, when I think of you versus you, I think of that internal dialogue that we all fight and you know, sometimes it's our voice, but sometimes it's the voice of maybe a family member or a friend.
1:55
And I think you have to be really careful about who you spend your time with because those are the people that you become most like, I mean the phrase birds of a feather flock together is a phrase for a reason, negative people beget, negative people, frighten people beget, frightened people and successful people beget successful people.
2:13
So I think having that internal dialogue and those people that pour into you is super important, right?
2:20
For me it's that and also so, you know, you could be the most positive person in the world.
2:24
But if you're constantly around negative energy and negative people and constantly like reading the news and bringing all the negative thoughts into your brain, it's going to affect you no matter how strong minded you are, it just is.
2:38
So for me, it's that and it's also the fact of really like how our thoughts control our actions and so we're going to really dive into that today.
2:49
That's the you versus you, how to be able to manage what's going on between your ears.
2:56
Right.
2:58
It also brings up,,, yeah, so that's what it brings up for me.
3:03
So,, you know, I think we go through the world kind of, most people either looking at like what's happening in our lives, that's wrong versus what's happening in our lives.
3:17
That's right.
3:19
Yeah.
3:20
Right.
3:20
So it's what's wrong versus what's right.
3:22
It's all about, you know, your choice and how you pick and where you pick to pay the most attention to and what perspective you want to have.
3:30
something that comes up with me here is I heard Tony Robbin say this.
3:35
It's not me, it's, it's him, it's, people don't experience life, they experience life that they focus on.
3:44
Yes.
3:45
You know, the lots that they focus on.
3:47
So if right now you're happy and,, you know, everything is going great.
3:52
It's probably because you're not thinking about all the frustrating and annoying and all the shit, shit crap.
3:59
I should say that's gonna piss you, that's pissing you off.
4:03
Right.
4:03
So it's almost like we're deleting the negative if we're happy in the moment.
4:09
It's not that this sort of isn't there.
4:10
It's just, we just don't, we just choosing not to think about it in that moment, if you're unhappy that it's probably you're deleting all the great things that are happening in your life and you're super focused on what's going wrong.
4:26
Well, we've all known of those people that seem like they,, you know, they're happy no matter what their circumstances are.
4:36
You know, because they're choosing to be happy, they're choosing to see things as a blessing or choosing to see, you know,, the silver lining or whatever it is.
4:45
And then we also know those people that look like they have a pretty good, like they have it pretty good and they're still over there retching about things and you're like, you know what if I had all of those things not to say that they, they have a charmed life.
4:59
They don't have problems but they're so hyper focused on those problems that they have, that they don't even get to enjoy the blessings that they do have.
5:06
So I think perspective,, and these internal thoughts have a lot to do with the quality of life that you end up with.
5:15
Right.
5:16
Exactly.
5:17
And you could be,, you know, you could have grown up and everybody say, you know, could like myself, for instance,, grow up and everybody's like, oh, you're not gonna amount to anything.
5:27
You're not smart, you don't know English, you're gonna be horrible.
5:31
And you could, I could have either chose to and I, I thank God I made the right choice at that time.
5:35
, I was only like eight or nine years old.
5:38
But I could have chosen to be like, oh, poor me and accept what they said or instead I chose, well, I'm gonna show them same scenario, two different perspectives of how I want to interpret what somebody, you know what those, those negative thoughts or negative saying, the things that people are saying, right?
5:58
You didn't let that sort of penetrate, you had your own sort of internal dialogue about what you could do or what you would do.
6:06
And it brings up for me this, this quote that I ran across that I think is so appropriate for today.
6:14
And I don't know who said it, but I like it.
6:16
So I'm going to say it.
6:17
and, and it says, don't speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke, your body doesn't know the difference, change the way you speak about yourself and you can change your life.
6:29
And it's so amazing to think about how, you know, we talk about vibrations and this gives a little like woo woo.
6:35
But you know, different vibrations negative has a different vibration than positive.
6:42
And they see that even with plants, like if you talk positively to plants, they flourish and they do so much better.
6:50
And then if you talk negatively to plants, they die and these are just plants.
6:57
That's crazy.
6:58
I, I want you to send me that where you found that.
7:01
That's really, yeah.
7:02
Yeah.
7:03
It's a study that they did and, and for me, I mean, I would have never thought that, you know, something without a brain and, you know, without, you know, thoughts and feelings that as we know them could be actually affected by our speech.
7:17
But if you think about just the plants in your house being affected by your speech, I mean, think about the effect it has on your family has on you.
7:26
Everything.
7:27
It's amazing.
7:28
Well, there, you know, as I was searching, there was this one fundamental truth that kept popping up and which I think if people really understand it will alter their life immediately.
7:40
And this is all the great historians, the teachers, the philosophers, the wise men, whatever throughout history always agree unanimously.
7:49
They don't agree on anything except this one fundamental truth, which is called the Great Law is that if you think in negative terms, you will get negative results.
7:58
If you think in positive terms, you'll get positive results and all great leaders or you know, anybody we look up to or that's really changed, you know, our lives on a grand scale, understands this, they understand that you can either think positively and get positive results or you can think negatively and get negative results.
8:24
What you can't do is think of both at the same time.
8:28
Well, that's true.
8:29
Yeah.
8:30
So we gotta train our mind to find the good in everything.
8:34
Now it may be difficult.
8:36
You know, your car just broke down and you're on the side of the road and you just got in a car wreck and all this stuff.
8:41
But there is,, a universal law.
8:44
So that what I just said was the great law, but there's a universal law called the Law of Polarity.
8:49
There's always everything has an equal and whatever, opposite, hot, cold up, down, right, left front back.
8:57
There's nothing anything in this world without it, it's opposite.
9:01
Everything has an opposite.
9:02
So if you're in a negative situation, there is all you have to do is kind of flip the coin and try to see what the positive is no matter how bad and maybe hard to find it.
9:14
I'm not, I'm not going to try to tell you like it's super duper easy.
9:17
Ok?
9:17
But, but if we can start shifting our mindset to look for the positive, you know, hey, I got into this car wreck but everybody was safe and no one got hurt.
9:30
Right.
9:31
Or,, well, now I can get a new car.
9:35
I don't know.
9:35
I, I've been meaning to get a new car and I haven't been able to now, at least I, I have to do it whatever.
9:40
, yeah, when I was diagnosed with cancer.
9:44
Right.
9:45
Talking about a big one here.
9:47
I mean, not a lot of good stuff at the time.
9:52
It doesn't feel great, but you do mindset's huge in cancer.
9:55
Treatment huge.
9:57
And, you know, they tell you, like, your perspective has a lot to do with your recovery.
10:03
You know, and you don't have the option to be negative.
10:06
You have to stay positive and, you know, and every little thing that you can find that has a positive spin to it, you use it.
10:15
You know, I was stage three.
10:16
B, well, I'm glad I wasn't stage four.
10:19
That's good.
10:20
You know, I have cancer but they have a treatment for it.
10:23
That's good.
10:24
You know, all that sort of thing.
10:26
So, you know, you do have to find the positive and, and in cancer treatment, you know, they do say that, you know, your mindset's huge like those people that survive, in the face of, you know, not having great odds nine times out of 10.
10:42
It's because of their, their mindset, right?
10:46
I loved it.
10:46
You said it's all about perspective really?
10:49
If you focus on the obstacles, guess what, you're gonna see more obstacles, you're gonna see that and that they're gonna be your thoughts and we're gonna talk a second about how thoughts dictate feelings and dictate, which affect your actions.
11:01
But if you focus on the path through the trees like you were with your cancer treatment, then you will see the path through the trees, right?
11:10
There's a couple quotes that I pulled that I want to share with you.
11:13
One is by Shakespeare.
11:15
It's our doubts are our traitors, our traitors or our doubt, our doubts are our traitors and make us lose the good.
11:26
We often might win by fearing to attempt.
11:30
I know it's a little calm but I think what he's saying is all the doubts that we have are kind of traitors to our own selves and, and we lose the good of what's going to be happening to us and we lose the ability to get to that win by because we're afraid to attempt it because of all these doubts that are, that are in our brain that they sabotage us.
11:54
To me.
11:54
That's what, that's what it's saying is these doubts sabotage us because then it keeps us from even trying.
12:02
And I think those are the things that we regret most are the things that we don't even try to do.
12:07
And then a corollary to that is James Bernard Shaw who's, I think one of the, I mean, it's not the level of Shakespeare but pretty darn close in our brain.
12:16
It says he says,,, people are always blaming their circumstances for what they are for where they are.
12:24
I don't believe in circumstances.
12:26
He said, the people who get,,, to the top in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can't find them, they make them right.
12:41
And so what he's saying, I don't believe in circumstances, the,, that you can't blame your circumstances, right?
12:50
You know, the people who get to where they want to be in this world are the ones that look for the circumstances they want again about all about person.
12:59
It's kind of like that book that I read.
13:01
Obstacle is the way and I've mentioned it before, but this is very similar and it's about looking at the obstacle as something that's good and it's gonna teach you and, and basically telling you that your answer is inside that obstacle.
13:19
So rather than avoid it, you should address it.
13:23
And it's a lot about mindset because when you look at the obstacle, don't look at the obstacle for it being in your way and you now can't move forward and there's all these problems, you look at it and think, OK, what is this going to teach me?
13:38
What am I gonna, you know, how is this gonna make me pivot and, and you know, do things differently.
13:43
So it makes me more efficient at work or, you know, it shows me something about myself that I didn't realize and then I can work on and make myself better the obstacles the way.
13:53
But if you're not looking for it, if you're not looking for the opportunity, all you're gonna see is that big mountain in your way.
14:01
So what we're really talking about today is you versus you is your thoughts are incredibly pass.
14:07
So how does this work?
14:09
Your thoughts dictate how you feel your feelings, affect your actions, right?
14:16
We can change our thoughts, we can change our actions, right?
14:23
And we're literally trying to get out of our own way.
14:26
This is the you versus you, your, your life is moving in the direction of your strongest thought.
14:36
Oh, that's good.
14:38
That's very true.
14:40
It's very true.
14:42
So, with anything that you do in life, you have to have a thought before you can initiate an action, right?
14:48
I can just do something without thinking about it.
14:50
Hopefully.
14:51
I mean, we're not like two years old, right?
14:55
And with, and so so if you believe that your thoughts have something to do with your destiny, which I believe and has everything I've ever read all the everything I've ever, you know, educated myself on or heard about or, or, or people I wanted to emulate all said this, the first thing you have to do is decide are you going to be defined by a vision of your future or, or live by the memories of your past?
15:34
That's where that self talk comes in, right?
15:37
And many way, there's many ways to get to the things that we want out of life and it all begins with how we choose to think.
15:48
There's seven little world words, I think it's in scripture somewhere.
15:52
You're more, you know, probably know it more than me, but it's like, as you think, so, shall you be Yes.
15:58
Right.
15:59
Is that what you or?
16:00
I don't know the proverb, there is a scripture that, yeah, that basically what you are, what your thoughts are.
16:07
I can't remember the exact verbiage.
16:08
But yes, that is it the seven little words as you think.
16:12
So, shall you be?
16:14
So your world will reflect your own feelings or thoughts back at you?
16:20
Right.
16:23
So this is kind of the woo part, but it's so essential to understand.
16:28
Well, it's interesting because we're talking about this vibration sort of idea or projecting out, you know, your thoughts, the things that you do in the way that you behave just in life and in, in our community, our society projects to other people, what you think about yourself and they're gonna believe you.
16:46
So if you project to other people that you're not qualified to do something, they're gonna believe you, you're not qualified and they're gonna, you're not gonna get that opportunity that you've always wanted because your self doubt has told them that you're not qualified.
17:01
So I think that has a lot to do with those things that you focus on all about that thought process.
17:07
You know, your first thought leads to something because your self doubt is going to make you behave in a certain way and that's gonna project to others how you feel about yourself.
17:16
So, in order to change that path or that self fulfilling prophecy, really, you have to change that first thought and it's like, you know, you hear about those little exercises where they say the thing that you focus on becomes the thing that you see everywhere.
17:34
So like when you, if you focus on red cars, all of a sudden you see red carss everywhere or if you start, like you said, watch the news and the bad things are everywhere and, and that's all we see now are bad things because that's all I'm looking for.
17:47
But if you turn that, if you are looking for opportunities in every situation and you believe that those opportunities are there, you will see them, right?
17:56
And in order to take those on, you're gonna have to change your self, talk to be positive and to say, I may not know how to do this, but I can learn or I'm gonna try it.
18:08
I believe that I have the ability to, you know, develop the skill or learn the skill or whatever it is.
18:14
And because you know, coming back around and maybe just be rattling off, but what you put out to people is what they believe.
18:22
So if you don't believe in yourself, they're not going to believe in you either, right?
18:26
So in this world, we have like a physical world, right?
18:28
We have an internal world and I do also spiritual world, but then we have a physical world and the physical world really is just senses, right?
18:36
We're just like we're born these things happen, you know, lights experiences sounds and then you die and then, so how we choose to interpret that middle part, the sensory information.
18:50
It's really up to us and it's almost like it was, oh, it's my circumstance and look no one had, I mean, I shouldn't say no one but I doubt very few people had the kind of a growing up that I had, I was born in the middle of a very brutal civil war.
19:04
So, and there's, it's not just me, you know, people, I forget who it is but you know, there was this ho this famous holocaust, you know, Survivor and he wrote the book and how he viewed this very horrible things happening to him.
19:16
You could either take those things and it's horrible.
19:20
You can't change it and that's what's so hard when you're in a war or when you're in a something like that.
19:25
That's literally completely beyond your control.
19:29
Like every which way you could still control your thoughts.
19:34
You can still control how you can, how you choose to react to it, right?
19:40
You can be like, who is me?
19:42
This is horrible.
19:42
No good.
19:43
I'm just gonna die and kill myself, which is a lot of I think and, and same with you with cancer.
19:47
If you had that mindset, it probably may have led you down that road.
19:51
But no, like I choose to look at the positive, I'm going to get out of this.
19:54
I'm gonna be better.
19:55
I'm gonna be stronger.
19:56
I'm gonna be more resilient.
19:57
I'm gonna, you know?
19:59
Right.
20:00
Yes.
20:01
Yeah.
20:02
Well, I mean, that's kind of what you hear from people and these, some, you know, Survivor stories when you hear Survivor stories,, like that show I survived.
20:11
I hate that show.
20:11
It stresses me out even though I know they lived because they're talking about it.
20:15
But it's never, I've never seen that show.
20:16
So, oh, my gosh.
20:17
Ok.
20:18
Well, my husband loves to watch that show and it stresses me out.
20:22
Give us a little for those of us, these people that are like in this, these perilous situations that could very well kill them or, you know, it's, you know, they've got injured in the woods and they're the only ones out there and they've got to get to safety or, you know, whatever it is, stress me out.
20:39
But anyway, what it comes down to literally what you see from all of these people who have all different, you know, experiences is it was just that their mindset was they were not going to die, they were not going to.
20:56
So it was literally just their will.
20:57
It was their mindset.
20:58
It was our thought process that to keep going to go one more step to not get tired to whatever it was.
21:07
And when, if their mindset had been different, they probably wouldn't have made it right.
21:13
You know, but it was all about how they decided to think about and either they didn't know they were doing that in that moment.
21:18
It was about how they decided to think about what they were going through.
21:21
Right.
21:22
So, this is the good news, the good news.
21:26
We have good news guys.
21:27
We have good news.
21:28
The good news is you have incredible power over your own thoughts.
21:33
Yes, you can.
21:34
Actually, we'll tell you, we'll give you some hints later on some steps on how you do this.
21:39
If you're like, I don't know how to do it.
21:40
It's so foreign to me, but you can actually choose what you think about.
21:45
Yes.
21:46
And what you think about determines how you live.
21:49
And I believe and people I follow and, and read about also, this is maybe one of the greatest discoveries of our generation as humans is that we can alter our lives by altering the attitudes in our minds or of our minds.
22:07
Yes.
22:09
So change your story, change your life.
22:13
Yeah.
22:14
Like people can tell you your whole life that you're a piece of crap and your brain can go screw you.
22:22
Like I was mentioning, I'll show you and then I'm going to make something of myself or people can tell you, oh, you're beautiful.
22:28
You're perfect.
22:29
You're the best.
22:29
You're the greatest food slice bread and you still don't believe them and get depressed about your life and think you're nobody, right?
22:39
It kind of simplistic but it's so true.
22:42
It is so true.
22:44
It's, I mean, that's the whole reason why you see, you know, people that are brought up in the same circumstances and then they do completely different things, you know, and it's because of what they choose to believe and what they choose to see.
22:58
You know, we're all brought up in a certain way and yes, our parents pour into us and we do somewhat are governed by our circumstances when we're young.
23:06
But we get to a point in life where you can no longer blame your life on how you were raised.
23:12
You are now an adult, you have control over your mindset, you have control over what you choose to believe and you have control over how your life goes, believe it or not.
23:21
Now, yes, things will come to you that you don't expect.
23:24
But as Zanna was saying, how you interpret that problem or how you view it will have a dramatic effect on which way you go.
23:34
And we all have a choice in life and you should choose to have the life that you want to have.
23:42
And the way that you do that is by doing this mindset work and focusing on how you think about what you're thinking about.
23:53
Why are you doing that and how are you going to change it?
23:56
Right.
23:57
And it's literally one of the most difficult things I've heard a lot of people, high level, high achievers right.
24:04
Most difficult thing for people to do is to change their thoughts.
24:08
Why is that?
24:11
I think, well, I think it's a couple of things you may not, that may have been a rhetorical question, Zana, but I want to know like, what you think and I'm gonna, like, maybe put them in my sense as well.
24:21
I, you know, I always have an answer.
24:23
I always have something to say.
24:24
, I think a couple of things I think because it's habit.
24:32
So we do it before we even think about it.
24:36
And it's just a reaction.
24:38
This is what I always do and this is how I react to.
24:40
This is my thought.
24:41
I think it's habit and then I do think it is how we, what we really think about ourselves, you know, how do we value ourselves?
24:51
So I think it can be a couple of things, right?
24:54
And I wanna pick it back on you on what you said.
24:56
I think it's because to change our thoughts, we almost have to change the way we approach reality itself.
25:05
Agreed.
25:08
So like I was kind of alluding to before we all grew up a certain way.
25:11
We all believe like this is how the world should kind of be, this is our reality, right?
25:17
It's super hard to think.
25:19
Well, two things, one, not everyone has the same reality as us.
25:24
And two that because it kind of a story you're telling yourself and two now you have to say to yourself.
25:29
Oh, my goodness.
25:30
I have to change my reality.
25:32
All the things that I've been seeing, I've only been seeing blue cars my whole life and now I have to look for red cars and change and start to look out for records.
25:43
It's funny because as soon as you say, I want to see red cars, you no longer see blue cars, it's gonna be everywhere and it's actually, it's like, I mean, maybe I'll find the research and put in the soda, but there's lots of research around this as well.
25:54
I didn't prepare it for beforehand, but I know it's out there because I've ran across it before there.
26:01
Right.
26:02
So because it's all going on literally in your brain, right?
26:07
You can say it's in your head.
26:09
I hate that because it's kind of like it's not real, but it is kind of in your head like it really is in your brain, whatever you think and you believe will very much shape your reality from what risks you take and what options you perform and also just everyday experiences of reality.
26:29
Right.
26:29
So the first thing is almost realizing that yes.
26:34
Mhm So, once you know that what, you know, once you know that you are kind of what you think and what you think about and then, and, and, and what you think about expands.
26:45
Right.
26:46
Right.
26:46
So if all you think about is blue cards, you're gonna always see blue cards.
26:49
OK?
26:49
Or, or taking a positive, a negative, you're only gonna see negative stuff happening.
26:54
So it expands and you start to, then you hopefully and I'm hoping everybody that's hearing this can realize this.
27:00
Hopefully you'll start to become real careful about what you think about.
27:05
Mhm.
27:07
So you know there's nothing quote unquote wrong with you.
27:12
I used to always grow up what's wrong with me?
27:15
Oh, did I get this done?
27:16
Whatever?
27:17
Right.
27:18
Right.
27:19
Yeah.
27:20
My daughter says that to me, my daughter has a chromosomal condition and she'll be like there's something wrong with me because she has to take all this medicine and all that sort of stuff.
27:31
And so I'm trying to change her mindset to be, there's nothing wrong with you.
27:36
You just have this condition and it's not right or wrong that you have to take this medicine and your siblings don't, it's just, it just is and, and aren't we lucky that we can take this medicine?
27:46
And aren't we lucky that it's, you know, a pill and, and you know, a liquid and you know, it's easy to take the medicine.
27:53
So yeah, so there isn't anything wrong with you and I want us to get away from that idea anyway of this is right.
28:02
And this is wrong with regard to like mindset and thinking and stuff like that because that traps I think more people than anything.
28:08
Oh, it's wrong, I'm wrong.
28:10
I'm no, it's just, sometimes it just is, it is what it is and this is right and this is wrong to just, it is what it is.
28:18
It is.
28:18
I may not agree with it.
28:20
Maybe I don't want it to happen, but it just is what it is.
28:24
And, and just to think about why this is again, really hard for people to change is something you said it is habits.
28:31
You know, it's the habit of thinking the way we think and have always think and have always seen the, the world view our world, our reality and it's really, we gotta realize it's our story, right?
28:42
The story we're telling ourselves and, and then if you change those habits, what, what, you know, that story, you're going to have a different experience.
28:53
Right?
28:53
So, I'd like, oh, go ahead.
28:55
No, I was just gonna say, like, when I was young,, this, I remember this and I was in,, what grade was that?
29:00
I think in ninth grade.
29:02
No, probably earlier than that.
29:04
Yeah.
29:05
I think ninth grade.
29:06
, my, my math teacher was like, you're horrible at math.
29:10
You're never going to be good at math.
29:11
, you're just horrible.
29:13
And I was just like, and it's funny because I really liked math and I thought I was really good at it so I could have taken what he said and really internalized it.
29:25
Oh, I think that I did the different because I ended up graduating with a math degree Bains of science and mathematics.
29:32
But,, you know, II, I just, just making that switch of, just not believing it thinking.
29:37
No, I am good at math.
29:39
Despite him telling me I'm not, I had agreed with him.
29:43
Oh, how did he know?
29:44
I wasn't good at math.
29:46
I would have had a completely different experience when it comes to math.
29:50
Right.
29:51
All right.
29:51
You know, my reality, my life.
29:54
Right.
29:55
Well, I'm glad you brought up the practical application because it's kind of what I wanted to, you know, explain a little bit so people can get an idea of, of how is this going to show up in your life?
30:06
This negative self talk.
30:07
And I've seen it, I wanted to bring a couple of ways.
30:10
I've seen it come up in,, people's personal relationships in my own as well.
30:15
I mean, we all have negative self talk that bubbles to the surface.
30:18
But if you've got such a negative self talk that you don't feel worthy of your significant other, no matter how much they pour into you and no matter how much positive feedback they give you, it's never going to be enough because it's never going to change your mind about how you feel about you.
30:36
And the problem that that could raise is that could be fatal to your relationship with this wonderful person and at no fault of their own.
30:46
And not necessarily any fault of yours either.
30:49
But if you know you're doing this, look at what you're doing and you know, you're doing this, you need to change your story, you need to change your mindset that you're not worthy of this wonderful relationship when all signs point to the, the opposite.
31:07
, and some, sometimes those wonderful spouses or significant others can't carry that along for a long time.
31:17
So it could be fatal to the relationship.
31:19
So if you see this coming up in your relationship with someone, you can start to change your mindset and accept, you know, what they're pouring into you and build a healthy relationship.
31:30
And then the other way in a professional setting is what I call self sabotage.
31:37
You want to get a particular job or a project and then, you know, either you don't get it because you're projecting to everyone that you're not qualified or you actually get it.
31:48
And now your negative self talk is so loud that it actually prevents you from performing the way that you normally would per perform in something that you are well qualified to do.
32:00
So it can actually sabotage the things that you are actually able to do.
32:05
just your thought process, right?
32:08
So that's what we're talking about, right?
32:09
How to overcome those discouraging or negative thought, negative thoughts, right?
32:14
So there's never gonna be be a time or place where you're just not going to think negatively like, unless you're like, I don't know, I mean, I think we've all met those like people but it, it's very, very rare, you know, as, as an average person.
32:28
negative things are gonna happen.
32:29
Are you gonna get because of your past or whatever?
32:32
And you're gonna have negative thoughts?
32:34
So like, like you said like, like, oh, I'll never get to my dream or I'll never meet the right person.
32:42
Ok?
32:42
The key is not to be like, I'm never gonna like have a negative thought.
32:46
And how do I stop?
32:47
Negative thought.
32:47
The key is just because they come in your brain doesn't mean you have to think them height, think of it like a doorway of your mind.
32:57
Ok?
32:57
This thought comes in, there's a door and you can choose.
33:02
Yes, I'm gonna give you access to, to my feelings because thoughts affect your feelings, right?
33:09
Or you know, I'm not gonna, you know, I'm in charge what I, what I can give access to.
33:13
It's a negative thought.
33:14
Yes.
33:15
But that doesn't mean I have to actually feel what the thought is selling me because I, I'm I, I'm, I'm not gonna listen to it or I refute it.
33:23
Like somebody telling me you're not good at math or whatever, I refute it.
33:26
I don't care, you're ugly or you're fat or whatever it is, I refuse it.
33:31
I, I don't believe it.
33:34
Right.
33:35
And now if you don't believe it, it's not gonna affect how you feel.
33:38
Right.
33:39
You don't allow, it's such a game changer for me when I, when someone said that and I was, I don't know who said it but that you don't have to believe every thought that comes into your head just because it's in your head doesn't make it true.
33:52
And I remember thinking that and I was like, oh my gosh, that's true.
33:55
Like you can have a thought and, and decide whether you think this is a true thought and get rid of it and just because it's in your mind doesn't make it true.
34:06
And yeah, it was pretty empowering, kind of piggyback.
34:10
What, you know, our prior episode of what other people now.
34:13
It's like, yes, what other people think about you is none of your opinion, but also with your negative thoughts and think about yourself not to either.
34:23
And shouldn't, you shouldn't allow, you know, them to be in, you know.
34:28
So if there are things right now e echoing in your head as you guys are listening to us that are stopping you from living your best life, right?
34:37
You need to kind of speak back to them like you would, if it was a person telling you whatever it is, they're telling you that you don't agree with no or you just say, I don't care what you say.
34:46
I believe what I believe.
34:48
We agree to disagree whenever me and to each other, we, we rarely agree on anything.
34:57
And we always like the thing you're agreeing to disagree about because if you say to yourself, hey, I don't, I'm never going to find love.
35:07
I hear this a lot with my single girlfriends.
35:09
Right.
35:09
Never going to find love.
35:10
I'm never going to meet a decent person.
35:11
Blah, blah, blah.
35:12
There's all these websites, there's all these things, there's, guess what, it's going to become true, like you said, a self prophecy.
35:19
Yeah.
35:20
Yeah.
35:21
And it also, so it works both ways.
35:23
So if you think the positive, you're gonna experience positive.
35:27
So they think no, every per guy on the dating app is amazing and I think I could find my love then you're gonna, that's gonna be true.
35:36
So it works both ways.
35:39
So what do we do?
35:40
We expose the lies that are in our head, the chatter, the negative Nancy, the, you know, we, we manage it and we expose it, right.
35:51
Yes.
35:52
You don't allow your thought to be anything that you don't want to have manifest or otherwise it's going to show up in your life.
36:01
So if you think negatively and think oh negative things aren't going to happen to me, guess what?
36:04
They're gonna happen to you and they're gonna happen to you in a very accelerated rate.
36:08
The more negative things you think about.
36:10
And I don't know if you've ever tried this or experimented in your life.
36:13
But I have because I always like this is like a lot of what I do, my business is called state of mind.
36:18
So I'm very big on state of mind.
36:21
So I was like, I wonder if I start thinking this negative thing is gonna happen.
36:26
It was like an insurance issue and, and it actually ended up happening and I felt like, oh gosh, II, I ended up manifesting.
36:33
Yeah, it's odd how like I want you guys to try it.
36:37
Have you, have you ever had that experience?
36:41
I Yes, like you create the thing that you're most afraid will happen.
36:48
Like you can get it out of your mind and you, because you're like, oh is this going to happen?
36:52
I know it's going, I know it's going to happen.
36:54
And like it happens a lot when you go to court, like you're like, oh, this would be the worst thing.
37:00
And so that's probably what's going to happen rather than thinking, well, it could.
37:05
So I'm going to be prepared for that.
37:06
But you know, there's, there's five other things that could happen as well that are better.
37:12
But when, when I think of those things that I'm like, I really hope this doesn't happen.
37:17
My very next thought is, is ok.
37:20
If it does, then what do I do?
37:23
Because I'm looking for that opportunity or that ability to spin it around.
37:30
What else can I do with it?
37:33
Yeah.
37:34
But yeah, you can definitely manifest and create either negative things or positive things in your life, depending on what you put out there.
37:43
And I have noticed that, you know, as I started to, to try to control those thoughts and get rid of those thoughts, I have noticed a change in trajectory in my life and how, what you put out there does start to come to you.
37:59
And if you start to verbalize these are the opportunities I want in life.
38:03
Those things will start to come to you.
38:06
And it's amazing how it does work, but it does, I don't believe it or not.
38:11
There is like actual steps work.
38:13
This is a little philosophical kind of discussion.
38:16
So if you guys are listening and are like, OK, well, how do I really like do this in real life?
38:21
There are some things you can do.
38:22
So what do you do?
38:24
And some of us you may be like, oh, I can't, I don't know if I can do this.
38:27
It sounds hokey pokey or whatever, trust me.
38:30
And I'm not the f we're not the first ones telling you guys this, this has been shown over and over and manifestations do happen.
38:37
So what do you do is you sit down first and you figure out what you want, figure out what you want specifically and this is in my world.
38:46
I want to ask owners, hey, how much do you want?
38:49
How much money do you want to grow?
38:50
Like in your business, for example.
38:51
00, you want to take home?
38:53
Oh, I want a lot of money.
38:55
, well, how much is a lot?
38:58
Like no one knows how, what a lot of is.
39:01
Ok.
39:02
So you gotta be specific, as specific as you can.
39:05
I want to take a million dollars.
39:06
Why?
39:07
Because if you're like, I just want to take a million dollars because it just sounds good.
39:10
You're not gonna achieve it because you don't know what to spend your money on.
39:14
But if you're like, I need a million because I need one more.
39:16
I buy a house and I need 200,000 for the down payment.
39:19
And I'm gonna, I wanna buy a new car in a private school and, and know exactly how much each thing costs all of a sudden.
39:25
Now we know why the, you know, the, the, the motivation behind it and you're more likely to achieve it.
39:32
Right.
39:32
So you, you write down exactly what you want, you put it on a card and trust me this works, you carry that card around with you and you read it or you put it somewhere in your house where you're gonna see it every time.
39:46
Like I have like a vision board that I look at here in my office every time I walk in my office, think about it, look at it, read it because what ends up happening is your mind starts to form images again, you need a thought.
40:00
Yeah, to affect a feeling which eventually gonna affect an action.
40:03
So that thought that you thought was so unreal about half a million dollars.
40:07
But if you write it down and you see it, you know exactly what you're gonna do with it and you carry it about around and you look at it now all of a sudden it's not so high in the sky because you've literally formed an image in your mind, right?
40:19
Of what that life is going to be like for you, right?
40:24
And, and, and just, I just want to say one of the, if you keep out all the ways you can't get to the million dollars, you know what I'm saying?
40:32
So we need to think about how we can.
40:35
So there you could be carrying this around with you and you could be looking at it and you could say, oh, I don't know, I don't think this can actually happen, guess what it's not.
40:42
So we got to also make sure that the thought process around how what we want that we're caring about around and looking at is actually yes I can and this is how I can, right?
40:55
You gotta buy in, right?
40:57
You gotta buy in and it's a decision, you gotta get rid of the doubts and decide that they're not, they're not valid, they don't apply to you whatever it is, get rid of those and decide that yes this is doable and here's why and you need to be really sure that what you want to accomplish is what you want and not what someone else is telling you that you should want.
41:23
Because I have seen when people try to accomplish these things that they don't actually really want, it doesn't really work because that's not really what they want.
41:32
So for you to accomplish these things in your life, you need to know that it's, that's you, that that's what you want for your life, not what someone else is telling you you should want for your life.
41:45
And, and if you guys want to know how to do that, if you haven't heard, I think it's episode two about finding your superpower.
41:51
Go back to that because that is a precursor.
41:54
So as we build these episodes, they kind of build on each other and I see it kind of like a chapter, like a chapter book, you know.
42:01
So you got to know, you know, so we did talk about that is super important.
42:06
That's literally like our chapter two of the book or of, of developing your superpower and finding your authentic self is in order to start thinking these thoughts to not stand in your own way.
42:16
You got to be very clear on again what is speaking to you.
42:19
So go back to that episode if you haven't, you know, or re listens to it if you need to.
42:24
Yeah.
42:25
So the second thing after you kind of write down and figure out exactly.
42:29
And kind of carry it around with you or always kind of seeing it is you make sure you seek people that you would like to emulate or, and a person and you go to that person or someone like that person for advice.
42:43
Right.
42:44
Yeah, I've seen people that, well, everybody has an opinion and everybody wants to give you advice, whether they know what you're doing or not, you know.
42:53
, so that's always fun.
42:55
But when these people are giving you advice, you need to look at this person and think is this person living the way that I seek to live.
43:06
Have they accomplished the things that I'm trying to accomplish if someone has not accomplished or in my opinion, has a successful business, whatever I deem to be successful, I'm not going to go to them or listen to them for business advice.
43:20
, if I don't have, if, if someone's giving me marriage advice and they don't have a successful long term marriage, I'm not going to listen to them either.
43:34
So you really need to choose who you,, get counsel from, who's giving you advice.
43:42
And that's another thing you need to look at whether or not you accept or reject what they're telling you based on what they've accomplished.
43:50
So, just be careful of about that because again, whoever you're around is pouring into you and they're going to be, you know, giving you feedback and you're going to have to decide whether this is feedback you're going to take.
44:00
Yes, this is going to help me achieve my goals.
44:02
Yes, this is, you know, positive self talk or no, this is not.
44:06
And I need to reject it and build a different circle, right?
44:10
So like if you want to make a lot of money, you don't go to someone and ask like your, you know, your neighbor or your family member who hasn't made a lot of money.
44:19
Not that you should be, they, they know they may read all sorts of books, whatever, but that's not the person you should be seeking advice for.
44:28
Go out after.
44:29
You know, now if you don't have those people in your life, which I didn't for the longest time, there's books, carry books around with you.
44:37
Books have been my greatest.
44:40
Like for me, one of my people that I am related, I hope she's listening to this one day is Oprah.
44:44
She doesn't know me from a hole in the wall, but I literally emulated my life around her and got me a lot of those bad negative mindset that I had in the victim.
44:54
You know, that I felt growing up because all these horrible, no good, very bad things were happening to me and I couldn't control and, and I could, and, and I really, I, I really owe it a lot to her to, for the first time I started thinking, I don't have to believe or just, you know, play victim or think that I'm just,,, what the consequence of my circumstance, you know.
45:19
Yeah.
45:19
Well, she's actually a great example of mindset because,, I listened to a podcast that it was a little bit of a biography about her and it was very interesting because she knew innately in herself that she could do these things.
45:34
And so she had that positive self talk and that positive mindset that she could accomplish these things and that everything that she had been through, worked together to put her where she was and to prepare her for where she was.
45:48
And that's what I got out of that podcast about her was she believed in herself so much and was, and that's what really drove her success.
45:57
Nobody believed in her the way that she believed in herself and she didn't need them to, which was amazing and, and something that I think we could, we could all sort of garner from her story, right?
46:08
So get, you know, some good books out there, right?
46:11
About how to move from like the victim to like being creator of your own world.
46:15
I love the book The Power of Ted by David Emerald.
46:21
that's one of the books that I've constantly read over and over and it's a funny story and maybe I'll tell you another day, but that's literally how me and my boyfriend got together.
46:29
But that's a whole other story, over that book.
46:32
, the second thing, the second book that's really, really good by Napoleon Hill think and Grow Rich.
46:38
It's a little archaic.
46:39
It's, I don't know when it's written like a long time ago, there's a lot of, you know, the pronouns aren't correct or whatever, but still, it's a really good one about how to really change that, that mindset that we have.
46:50
especially I think next episode, we're going to get into the mindset of money, so we're gonna dive into that.
46:57
And then another really good one that I'm starting to read now is called the Power of your subconscious mind by Dr Joseph Murphy.
47:05
Another kind of I mean, I'm not getting anything from, I think he's dead, he's been dead for, I don't know how many years, decades, but it's, you know, it's one of and so same with Napoleon Hill, like, but it's one of those like iconic books that if you really, if you don't have a person or you don't really and I would say do both.
47:22
OK.
47:23
If you can, but if you can't do, there's always books out there that you can really start to start like changing how you think about things, right?
47:33
There was one exercise I wanted to mention that, that I have done and I thought was very interesting about changing your mindset is,, when you have this thought that you can't do this thing to write it down.
47:47
, and then come up with all the reasons why this thought is not true.
47:55
So, and then you start to make a list, you write, you're writing it down, you're not just doing it in your mind, you're writing down all the reasons why this thought is not true.
48:03
I can't do this thing.
48:04
OK?
48:05
I'm going to come up with all the reasons why that's not true.
48:08
And then you go into one of the things that I can do to prove that this is not true.
48:15
So now we've gone from the negative thought to proving the negative thought wrong in our mind.
48:19
And now we're writing down what we're actually going to physically do to change that and prove it wrong.
48:26
And then at the very end, you write down the exact opposite of this negative thought of.
48:32
I can't do this thing.
48:33
Then the very last thing you write down is I can do this thing and that is the thing that you keep, I can do this thing and you focus on that thing and doing the things that you need to do.
48:45
I'm saying thing a lot in order to accomplish what you want to accomplish.
48:48
So drink is a drinking game.
48:53
So, I mean, an example would be, you know, I want to lose weight.
48:57
Well, the first thought, well, I can't lose, ok, I'm gonna write that down.
49:00
I can't lose weight.
49:01
Now, what are all the reasons why?
49:02
That's not true.
49:03
Well, I can control what I eat.
49:04
I can exercise.
49:06
I can, you know, build out time in my day to go walk.
49:09
I can all of these things.
49:11
, and that's why that's not true.
49:15
So, what is the result?
49:16
The conclusion is, is I can lose weight and these are all the reasons, all the things that I can do to accomplish that goal.
49:25
So I thought that was a really interesting exercise.
49:27
I think that's a great, I would even add one more step to that is actually writing down and present tense.
49:34
I am whatever weight or I am or I,, made a million dollars or whatever doing it in intense.
49:44
I like, like you already have it, you've already done it and you've already done it and carrying that around with you along with other things and you read it often and then you will start to believe it.
49:54
I like that.
49:55
I am a million dollar business owner.
49:57
Right.
49:58
Even though you're not right now I am and you will eventually start to see your personality change into acting.
50:06
I've seen this so many times like a million dollar business or start thinking you'll start taking vacations, like a million dollar business owner and all of a sudden you become a million dollar business owner.
50:16
Now we're not saying I'm not, please don't get me wrong.
50:18
I don't want you to like, wait, throw away all your money and be whatever I'm talking about from a mean, mean, from a mindset standpoint how you carry yourself and, and you literally see your personality change, right?
50:31
Seen it so many times.
50:33
I can't even tell you if you start to believe it and you read it and it becomes part of you.
50:39
You will be at first you're not gonna believe it, right?
50:42
Eventually you will.
50:44
Right?
50:45
And then your personality will change to compass that you will personal will change.
50:49
Like you are a fit person that has whatever, how much ever was lost.
50:54
And then all of a sudden those pounds just kind of, yeah, go away, natural, you know, go away.
51:00
I mean, it's, yeah, I know a lot of people would be like whatever when they're, you know, hearing this.
51:07
But please,, the proof is in the pudding.
51:12
Yeah.
51:12
, it's amazing.
51:15
And then when you get an idea in your brain, ask yourself, will that idea help me get to where I want to go?
51:23
Right.
51:24
And it, it doesn't,, reject it.
51:28
Which, yeah, what I think of is is I, I always think does this serve me?
51:34
Right.
51:34
It's kind of how I think of it.
51:36
It's the same thing.
51:36
But I think, does this serve me, does it benefit me in a way?
51:40
Does it help me?
51:42
No.
51:42
And if it doesn't Yeah.
51:43
Get rid of it.
51:44
Right.
51:45
You reject it kind of what you thought.
51:47
It doesn't mean it's true.
51:48
Right.
51:48
Being that doorkeeper, that's how you reject the negative thoughts.
51:52
I'm stupid.
51:53
No, I reject that.
51:54
Oh, you can't do it.
51:55
No, I reject that because it's not gonna help me to get to where I wanna be.
52:00
Exactly.
52:01
Thinking you can't, it's not gonna get you to where you wanna be.
52:05
Yeah.
52:06
Right.
52:06
So, all this we're saying is that happiness is a choice, is a choice.
52:14
And if you believe it's all about belief and perspective and you know, positive thinking, if you believe it's a choice, then you can start working on it.
52:25
Right?
52:26
And you've got to also believe that your own conditions are what, meaning what, how you're perceiving the world and your reality is what's making you unhappy.
52:38
Yeah.
52:40
So you have to unconditioned yourself right?
52:43
From that reality and you don't look, but yes, you can read books and that's great and you can ask people and we, and we're obviously saying do that.
52:50
But if the answer is really at the end of the day inside yourself and it starts with a realization that if you don't like the results you're getting in life, you have to change you, right?
53:03
Because they are your results, right?
53:09
You're creating this, you don't like it, let's change it.
53:13
Yeah.
53:14
So in order to change yourself, you have to find something about yourself that you want to change.
53:21
This is an earth shattering.
53:22
It's so hard to do.
53:23
What could I possibly want to change about myself?
53:27
You got, you know, you gonna have this hard c you gotta study yourself.
53:30
And I think this is what this podcast is all about.
53:32
At least for me finding your authentic self, we say superpower, but that's really what it is.
53:37
Your authentic self.
53:39
Are you really, what is it?
53:41
You know, you're not your name, you're not this body, right?
53:46
The one who ask you who are you?
53:47
Oh, I'm, when you say your name and I'm an attorney or whatever, that's not who you are.
53:51
Who am I really inside?
53:54
Like a sense of like awareness of who we are, you know, and as long as we lack that awareness of who we are, we're constantly locked into the physical world and we let things outside of us control us, right?
54:11
Yeah.
54:12
And something I've read and I don't know if this is accurate or not, but something like 95% of the population is reacting to life and not living their life.
54:25
So how do you live your own life?
54:27
Well, you need to stop, you need to study yourself.
54:31
The biggest part of who you are is, is something you can't see.
54:34
It's a non-physical, not in the physical dimension.
54:40
Well, that's kind of what happened when I was diagnosed with cancer was I, it made me step back and look at my life and think what do I want out of this?
54:49
And I did feel like I was being reactionary and I didn't feel like I was being proactive to create the life that I wanted to live.
54:56
So don't wait for a cancer diagnosis for that.
55:00
Go ahead and do that now and then you can start to really live that life like, you know, where do thoughts come from?
55:07
They come from the non physical OK.
55:10
Our thoughts come from, you know, whatever like and so, so you've got to create that image that you want in your mind being cancer free.
55:18
What does that look like if you did that or not?
55:22
What does that look like?
55:24
How am I going to feel when I'm cancer free?
55:26
Creating it?
55:27
And then the physical world will actually manifest it for you.
55:33
Yeah.
55:34
If you create that image and if the image is I'm gonna die or negative, no good.
55:38
Very bad horribleness, right?
55:42
That's also what you it's gonna be manifesting and then you say, oh how did this happen?
55:47
Well, you know how, right.
55:51
So how mhm Yeah, you can do it.
55:55
I want to hear from everybody and hear what, what they've, how they've applied this and and how they've seen it start to change things.
56:03
So you know, participate in the group, the Facebook group, let us know what you think, what's going on.
56:09
We want to hear from you, right?
56:11
And I just want to leave you with a couple of quotes here and then I want to dig a little bit more before I let you go today if that's ok.
56:17
I saw this quote, you know, people say what is success and in our world, everything has to do with like maybe monetary success.
56:24
But Florence, he said something to the fact of success is if a person knows who they are and know where they are going and are progressively moving in that direction.
56:38
So it's anyone that has a goal and moves towards it is success is a success is successful because Mother Teresa has had no money as far as I know she's considered a success by all accounts, right?
56:58
We can think of lots of.
56:59
So it's not just the money and, and things and all that, that define our success.
57:03
I don't think it actually defies our success at all because you could have all those things and also be miserable.
57:08
Exactly.
57:10
Yep.
57:11
Yep.
57:12
, and,,, another quote by Charles,, r Swindal and I think we've all heard this.
57:21
, but maybe we didn't know who said it, but life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you perceive it or how you react to it.
57:29
Right.
57:31
I really believe that's true.
57:33
I've seen that play out a number of times in my life.
57:35
I actually tried to teach it to my kids too because it is huge.
57:39
Your mindset about things happen to you is huge.
57:41
So and just remembering when something negative happens, OK, it happened.
57:47
Now I get to decide how I'm supposed to feel about it and when I'm going to let it in and let it affect me or not.
57:54
Exactly.
57:55
And what am I gonna learn from it?
57:57
Right.
57:58
If I can, because if you allow the negative then you're gonna start to feel bad.
58:02
And if you feel bad, then you're going to act in that manner that it's gonna be, there's gonna be a correlated effect cause and effect to that feeling.
58:12
Right?
58:13
So if you feel bad, you're gonna react negatively, yell, scream how dare you look at it from that, from just that negative viewpoint.
58:21
And I think we all, you know, do this.
58:23
But if we can start slowly and it's not, again, it's not about perfection.
58:26
It's just slowly realizing, hey, I don't wanna let this in.
58:32
This is not beneficial to me.
58:35
Exactly.
58:35
Like like you said, what you think it isn't necessarily just because it's a thought, it doesn't mean it's true.
58:40
And I would almost venture to say that 90% of the time.
58:43
It's not true.
58:46
If it's on the negative side, you know, like instead of like looking at your partner, oh, he ignored me all day.
58:53
Maybe you need to look at him and say because he didn't, you know, he didn't respond back to me or he's ghosting me.
58:58
Well, maybe he's going through his own problems.
59:01
Right.
59:02
Exactly.
59:03
Yeah.
59:04
This might not be a reflection of how he views you.
59:06
This may just be something, use that story again that we create in our mind that we tell ourselves rather than, you know, choosing not to believe it's something negative about us.
59:16
Maybe it's something else going on.
59:18
So, you know.
59:20
All right.
59:21
Well, I think,, we're gonna leave it there for today.
59:24
Thank you, everyone.
59:24
This is a very important episode.
59:26
It's probably one of the hardest things to do.
59:29
But realization is the first step.
59:33
You are not your thoughts and that you can actually control and choose a different thought.
59:41
Right.
59:42
Right.
59:43
Yep.
59:45
All right, everybody.
59:46
Thank you for listening.
59:48
You know, this is lean into your superpower again and please join our Facebook group.
59:53
We want to hear from you.
59:54
We're trying to build a community of women.
59:57
We have our youtube channel.
59:59
So please go to that and subscribe and subscribe and share with anyone that you think would benefit from this episode or any of our previous episodes and we'll see you next time.
1:00:09
Yes.
1:00:10
Thank you very much.
1:00:11
Till next time.
1:00:11
Warriors.
1:00:12
Appreciate warriors.
1:00:13
Bye bye.
