Confronting Internal Darkness and Discovering Spiritual Awakening: JOliver’s Transformative Journey

November 01, 2023

Episode Transcript

Have you ever wondered about the impact of Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) or the Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) on your life decisions? Olivia and I, Brian, take you through an enlightening conversation around these intriguing emotions. We're thrilled to have JOliver, who shares his compelling personal journey from a murky phase of selfishness and greed to a spiritual awakening ignited by a dream.

A significant part of our discussion points to the internal battles we face. J offers a profound understanding of how discrete sins like selfishness can internally erode us. Together, we explore the healing power of vulnerability and the solace of acknowledging our shared struggles. We also reflect on the surprising joy derived from renouncing materialistic pursuits in favor of a more enriched life experience.

Our conversation is made even more powerful by J's personal testimony, a testament to the importance of aligning with God's will. J's life-altering experience conveys the importance of seeking God's viewpoint beyond the world's judgment. We hope this story inspires you, reminding you that no matter the distance you feel you've drifted, it's not too late to return to God's path. So, join us for this transformative conversation blending life lessons, spiritual wisdom, and compelling personal narratives.

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See full episode transcriptTranscript is autogenerated by AI

Exploring FOMO and JOMO

Speaker 1 0:00

But welcome to today's podcast replay from the Killer B Studios . Let's go ahead and dive on in . How many of you here have ever experienced FOMO ? Anybody , yeah , yeah , okay , everybody . Yeah , I see it . Mostly everybody , yes . What's interesting is it's not always , doesn't always lead to a bad decision . But , olivia , I would love to ask you have you ever felt a strong sense of FOMO before ?

Speaker 2 0:26

Yeah , yeah , I would definitely say , as I was younger and growing up , before it was even a term , there's always that where I think , especially two in my 20s , where , even though , like you're tired or whatever , like I would just run myself ragged because I'm like , if I don't go to this person's house , what if they have all these inside jokes that I don't know about or this or that or whatever . But now , as I'm older , brian , here's a new term for you . A lot of the times I have Jomo , which is the joy of missing out , because I get to relax .

Speaker 1 1:10

Interesting . You know , I've never heard that . Has anybody else heard of Jomo ? Has anybody else heard of that ? Oh , we got one person throwing confetti . I like that , jomo , very interesting . You know one of the things I was thinking too . You just kind of hit this early when you're talking about . When you're younger , you always had the fear of missing out and I was kind of processing that . Today , does the fear of missing out tend to fade and change the order you get ?

Speaker 2 1:39

Yeah , I think so .

Speaker 1 1:40

All right , cool . Well , with that , are you guys ready for us to bring out our guests ? I would love for you to take about 30 seconds to tell the audience a little bit about who is Jay Oliver .

Speaker 3 1:50

Yeah , I mean , first and foremost , I'm a child of God , so I'm really thankful for that . I'm a Christian , I say rap , hip hop , but I also I'm just very versatile in how I like music and I'm a husband and , yeah , that's just probably the best way I could sum it up , but I'm extremely grateful to be here when we first met Jay .

Speaker 1 2:13

Actually , I came across Jay on Instagram you know we've been interviewing people and your name popped up . I was like huh . So I started watching some of your stuff and , like you know what , I think I would like to reach out to Jay and see if he'd like to come to the studios and share what he's doing and share his story . When we first talked about you joining us as a guest , you shared that your story goes back to a dark time in your life . So I would love to . Maybe can you take us back to that time and share what you mean by dark times and what was the darkness that you were facing , because I think that a lot of us here probably anybody here would say that they had a time in their life that was dark times . Yeah , yeah .

Speaker 3 2:56

So , basically , you know , my life I came from , my parents were separated , so that's kind of like how from the go , that's kind of like how my life started , and so whenever I would go over to my dad's because I used to go over like every other weekend he would take me to church .

Speaker 3 3:16

But basically for 25 years , I really just was very rebellious and caught up in my own selfishness and caught up in a lot of greed and things that just really ran me the wrong direction .

Speaker 3 3:28

And so when I was this was in 2020 of September I just remember having a you know , having a dream , and this was the time , like , where I was dealing with probably , probably the darkest side I would say that I've ever been in .

Speaker 3 3:45

And , you know , by the world standards , I would never would say that I've been like a you know , gone through the worst things or committed the worst crimes by any means , but it's just , you know , the things that we tend to not think about as serious can really like eat us alive from the inside , and so those are a lot of things that I was dealing with selfishness and just really just focusing on independence , and it was at a time in my life where I was just starting or starting to date the girl that I would eventually marry , and so those are a lot of things that you know , god had to check me in , but I just remember in September of 2020 , I remember having a dream that the rapture happened and I didn't make it , and so when we talk about darkness and we talk about fear of missing out , and we talk about things that really just have that , that ability to move you , that's really what happened in that moment . I just remember feeling like , if there was ever a feeling for darkness , that was it , you know .

Speaker 3 4:48

I mean because it was just just a feeling I never wanted to feel again . And I remember waking up in sweat . I went outside , I set down on the street and really just figured out what I was gonna do next . And you know , my girlfriend and I we already started having conversations about , you know , going to church and things like that , but we never take it or would take it serious . And that's the biggest message I want to get across tonight is that , like I'm no different from anybody in this room and I was I was about as rebellious as they come . So you know I'm not a special someone that God just chose . So so , yeah , that's really . That's really where my journey started was with a dream , and you know , the Bible's pretty , pretty clear when it comes to that . You know , like God can impact us in dreams and I never , I never wanted to believe that until it , until it happened to me .

Speaker 1 5:37

So yeah , yeah you know it's interesting for you to be pointing out that your darkness , like that time was , it wasn't like you weren't into like a bunch of drugs , into that , but your , your darkness was selfishness , something that , yeah , we can very easily look over in ourselves because , I mean , really we're in a culture where it's all about self , so it's it's hard to see that at times that maybe Selfishness is a problem .

Speaker 3 6:01

I mean it's just by by a world standard too , right . I mean we always try to kind of rate these . You know things that we do bad and you know the world will tell you , or would have told me , that I wasn't doing Really a lot of bad things , that you know I'd be considered good by the world standards but at the same time I wasn't , my heart wasn't right and and it was making me go down past that , you know , ultimately the Lord didn't want me to go down and so that was .

Speaker 3 6:29

That was where I had to get a reality check and really just tap into what I was supposed to tap into all along .

Speaker 1 6:35

When you , when you talk about like the word darkness , how would you define the word darkness on ?

Speaker 3 6:41

I think . I think darkness is often Correlated with like isolation , because when you're in isolation , you think that you're alone , you think that you have to do it all on your own , you get Taken away from people who would want to lift you up in those moments that you find yourself in darkness , and so and it just doesn't . In my opinion , you know the the ultimate reason for Having darkness is not having light , and so if you don't have the light in your life , then it's easy to be surrounded by darkness .

Speaker 1 7:14

That's interesting to take a spin on that way , to think about darkness that way , because , as we know , as believers , we know that the light is , is being close to God , is being close to Jesus and to really start processing , because I mean , you can go through hard times in life I that might be considered dark times if you're walking with God's , not dark internally in Thinking about .

Speaker 2 7:37

You know you said it wasn't like by any world standards what you had gotten into . So say that you know you're a friend of yours .

Recognizing and Addressing Hidden Darkness

Speaker 2 7:50

What types of things would you notice that maybe you are like how do this , how do we help you get out of this particular Darkness that you're facing ?

Speaker 3 8:02

So are you talking about , like , if somebody else is going through similar darkness , like how , yeah , where it's not , like easily seen like drugs , alcohol but you notice that there's like Something that's keeping them from you know they're best self or connecting with God , or whatever it may be like .

Speaker 2 8:20

How would you notice that or help someone in that same situation ?

Speaker 3 8:25

I feel like here , here's the deal with that , because you know it's just like we were talking about there are certain sins that would qualify from the the world standards are not as bad . I think that also Can have a negative effect on people who are dealing with , because , I mean , sin is sin right ? So like if if somebody's dealing with something that's much deeper than that , like if they're dealing with , you know , like you said , drugs , you know Different , deeper sins that people would judge more for that . We I just think we have to be very careful because we need to bring all that to the table and feel feel comfortable to bring that to the table , because it allows us to be in a vulnerable state .

Speaker 3 9:05

I feel like once people can actually realize that they're not the only ones that struggle with things like that , then that's kind of like when healing can start to take place , because you're like , okay , I am , and , just like I mentioned , you know Alone , right , that you're in that mindset of I'm alone in this , like nobody's ever gonna understand , nobody's ever going to be able to relate to my sin or what I'm messing up . You know what I mean , but in the same , I mean we all go through . I think we all go through so many things that are similar , but we just don't know it because we don't have those conversations with each other .

Speaker 1 9:36

Exactly as I say , we don't . We're not open to talk about it Like , yeah , you know , that's one thing I love about the studio is here is this is a safe place . You know , we have people from all over that come here , and there's a lot of people that come here that aren't Christians and they notice the safe place . This is all , but I was just being real , and we all go through Similar life challenges and we don't . We don't need to go through alone . I can actually relate a lot to your story too , because you know , I was raised in church , but then I kind of in high school , I decided now I'm not , this isn't going , I'm not as cool as I want to be . I'm gonna go this other path and start going on this other whole path .

Speaker 1 10:08

For years To me and my wife got together , got married , and we weren't going to church . She didn't even . She didn't , wasn't even say anything like that . So it was God waking me up through that too . But those times were times I was thinking there's no way I can go back .

Speaker 1 10:24

I've done way too many bad things and I had to learn , just like in the Bible , where it talks about you know and Genesis like Darkness . Really , if we think about darkness like you're saying , it's without the light , so anything that separates us from God Is is a darkness . It's , it's , it's taking us away from that light . If it's pulling us away from from God , then our lives are getting darker in a bad way , and it's it's , and we all do it , so it's like I don't I think that's the thing that's . It's not like well , I can't believe they did that . We've all done it and we probably all still do it almost every day in some way . That's what that's the beautiful thing about . God's grace and God's love is easy . Forgiving God Like that's where he talks about working out our salvation . It's a , it's an everyday thing we're walking out .

Speaker 1 11:07

It's a process Correct , yeah , so that was a really good question you had there too

Life Transformation

Speaker 1 11:13

. I would love to know , jay , how has your life changed since your transformation ?

Speaker 3 11:19

Yeah , I mean I think I think she hit on it earlier right , the joy and the joy of missing out on those types of things . I mean , like it's it's we , you know , we so often think that the things that the world desires money or it's material things , but they just after , after so much , they just leave us with nothing , right ? Like I mean , we always want more , and it leaves us in that greedy state of always wanting to get more . We can never be comfortable , and and so I'm actually thankful that you know , I'm able to fill that void , because we all have that void , right , every single one of us in this room has that void that needs to be filled , and we're constantly searching for something to fill that .

Speaker 3 12:05

And so , with God , it was like he filled that for me , you know , I mean , and then I was able to really just Experience my life in a way that I was always meant to experience it , and it just blew me away because I never thought that I could be that person , like I just never . Just , like you said , I was in the same sense of just being . I'm too cool for this , I can't , you know , I need to be cool , I need to hang out with the cool kids in school .

Speaker 3 12:30

I need to , you know do everything that just makes me feel , from a worldly perspective , that I've got success and I've got it together and and , yeah , man , I just once I realized that all that stuff is fleeting and it doesn't satisfy Whatever you're looking for and you find out what does that ? That changes your life incredibly . And so my , my mission every day is not to please the world . My mission every day is not to , you know , make sure that all these people like me . My mission is not to Drive after , you know , satisfaction and things that may give me temporary happiness , it's to serve God , and and when I do serve God , I find the joy that the Bible talks about with so that surpasses all understanding , you know , talking about the peace . That surpasses all understanding . That's kind of what's what's on me now and I can rest easy at night . Christians still sometimes fall for the , the trap of temporary Dills . It's . It's not like once you become a Christian , yeah , immediately , you know fine .

Speaker 3 13:30

You , you still fall for that , and it's . It's just a reality , more of a reality check whenever you do to say , hey , you know , I need to realign myself with what I'm supposed to be doing . Yeah it's not . It doesn't just go away immediately Once you get saved . You still have that flash pulling at you . You still have things that are gonna pull you in the wrong direction .

Speaker 1 13:49

So yes , a hundred percent , like , so like , for instance , I had had some people that came up to me when I was at the radio station and they were they were actually working at the station . They weren't from the station but they were outside a company working in , and some of the people that came in they were this was one guy that was just he was such a hard worker and he was always there early doing the job and People would give him a hard time not our workers , but his team would give him a hard time . Well then , his boss showed up one day and his boss was just ripping him apart and I was kind of shocked because nobody was going out to say anything . I Was like , okay , and I was kind of new I wasn't working remotely more , so it's kind of new being on the premises . So I went out and I was like I can't do this . So I went out and I said , hey , I just wanted to say you have been doing an amazing job , like you were here before everybody else . Yeah , I just kind of went out there when his boss was tearing him a new one . I went out there and just pointed out all the good things he was doing that I had seen his boss hadn't been there all week . So afterwards , you know , his boss actually walked off a little bit upset , but which is fine .

Speaker 1 14:51

But the guy pulled me aside later and he said hey , thanks for thanks for coming out and sharing that . He's like I was just want to ask you , do you go to church and stuff . And I was like , yeah , he's like well , I got some questions for you , something I've been dealing with . I'm like all right , cool . And he's like do you think it's all right to do this and this ? Because I'm I'm struggling with this and I think that that's all right . And I was like okay , here , hold on a second , let me tell you something . No matter what I tell you , if you don't like what I have to say , you're going to go to somebody else . You do like what they say . What I'm going to tell you is go and read the Bible and read this .

Speaker 1 15:24

I was like and if you feel like you need to get somebody else to tell you if it's okay or not , okay , then maybe you really need to talk to God about it . Because I think that's what's interesting when we become Christians is not that we don't sin and make mistakes . But we become more aware when the light isn't inside , because we're kind of drifting apart . So it's getting darker inside because when you remove yourself from God you can feel you know something's not right and as Christians we know we need to go back and repent and talk to God about it . But people that don't know God , they haven't experienced that . It's not that God loves everybody . He loves everybody and he wants everybody to experience his love , but when they have never experienced it , they don't really recognize it . That's going away because it's never been there . Does that make sense ?

Speaker 3 16:16

Yeah , and I mean I honestly I fall into that trap sometimes too , because , like , whenever I have , you know , new music that I'm thinking about releasing and stuff like that , I can be really quick to well , what's the public perception of this ? Even though it is important to me what people think , because ultimately , people are going to be digesting it right , Like people are going to take it in and they're going to listen to it and they're going to like it or not like it , they're going to vibe to it or not vibe to it . But ultimately you do have to come with the question and be like what does God think of this song ? Does he like it or does he not like it ?

Speaker 3 16:48

And you know , and that's that's what I'm doing it for at the end of the day , I'm not doing it for people . Now , if I was still doing secular music for people , then that would make a whole lot more sense . But since I'm not , I really have to keep myself grounded and I've tried to stray away from that as much as I can . I do like to still have like musical influences that are close to me in order for , like , I mean for audio type stuff or like if this sounds correct , like from a musical perspective . But as far as like the actual message and getting approval from people , I think that that's just . You know , that's not what you should be doing . If you're doing Christian music , if you're doing things that are meant to be forgot , it shouldn't be here . That shouldn't be your basis or standard .

Speaker 1 17:32

We just had a guest on here recently , producer Sherry from the Brand Handsome Show , but she talked about the process of creativity , a process of creating , which is really good for people . That's in here too . You're creating work , you're a musician , you're creating something , and for her you know she she's always producing shows and plays and scripts and all this stuff . And she said one of the things I thought was really good was she pointed out that she encouraged everybody to ask yourself and it really relates to if you're a Christian , if you're a Christian , ask yourself , when you're creating , is it kingdom positioned ? And I was like , wow , that's so good to be . Think about that . So that's exactly what you're saying about your music . Tell us a little bit about Save and Thankful . How did this song come about ?

Speaker 3 18:19

Yeah , so I actually , before Save and Thankful , my first or my last EP , I should say dropped in 2018 . So Save and Thankful dropped in June of 2023 this year , and so the biggest deal since I was saved in March of 2021 , the biggest deal I wanted to get across in this song was to basically fill in that gap from 2018 to 2023 . And I thought the best way to do that was just by saying what is this title of the song gonna be ? Because it's not really in the hook . It's not . I didn't necessarily ever say it in the song , which is generally how it goes . Right , you hear a song .

Speaker 3 19:01

You should probably expect to hear the words in the song or for the title , but for this one I just wanted to sum it up in two words and say I'm saved and I'm thankful for it .

Speaker 3 19:11

So that's really just what's set on my heart . And so , yeah , whenever it comes to this song , it's about my testimony , it's about me rebelling away from God , it's about me choosing it . Actually , one of the lines says counting up all the times that I shoved him off and pushed him away and said , hey , I'm gonna do my own thing and start out with my testimony . That's what the first verse is pretty much all about . And then I just talk about how important it is , or how important it was for me to turn to him and realizing how , without him , I'm still not gonna have anything . Cause at the end of I say the last part of it is just saying at the end of it all , we're saying thank you to him , ultimately , like we're done with this life and eternity . Whenever we see him , we're telling him thank you for everything he's done and thank you for finally getting us to this place of eternal peace .

Speaker 2 20:09

How did has music always been an interest of yours , or how did that all come about ?

Speaker 3 20:15

Yeah , so I actually I started doing music in 2012 , but I was doing like secular rap music , so I had been doing that for about I mean I took my gap in like in 2018 . So I guess it was like a solid like six years of doing music . But I mean , I don't have a musical background . I didn't go to school for music . I don't . I don't play any instruments , I'm strictly vocals , but I never really had musical background . My mom was a fantastic singer still as a fantastic singer , but I did not have like a specific . You know , I didn't take courses , I didn't take a school for it . So but I think I'm just blessed because I think God just gave me an ear for it .

Speaker 1 21:02

If there's a thought , anybody there's gonna be people that's gonna listen to the podcast replay on this , yeah .

JOliver's Closing Thought

Speaker 1 21:08

So what would your takeaway be that you hope they would walk away with from everything that we've talked about tonight ?

Speaker 3 21:13

You know , I would honestly just say my one thing is because I feel like I struggle with this the most early on in my journey it's just believing that you're not too far away to still turn to God . Don't ever think that you're too far away , You're not .

Speaker 1 21:30

Thanks for tuning in to the Stories we Live podcast .

Speaker 2 21:33

And before you go make , sure you hit that subscribe button , and we'd love it if you would leave us a review .

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