Speaker 1:
0:00
Today we had a special guest. Join us for this episode. Olivia, do you want to introduce who our guest was?
Speaker 2:
0:04
Yes, her name is Kirby Aaron, and let me tell you, brian, I was just absolutely blown away by her story.
Speaker 1:
0:14
What was your, what was your biggest takeaway from her story?
Speaker 2:
0:18
She just has had so many very difficult things happen to her. But the thing that I took away from it was how she still finds the positive and all of that and how her faith has grown because of her struggles versus, you know, going the other way, which I got to admit. I personally might have done that myself.
Speaker 1:
0:42
Yeah, I totally get it. I totally get it. And listen, guys, when you guys hear the story, like let me give you a little bit of insight before we jump into the episode. Kirby, kirby Aaron, she, she's an athlete and her life changed at the age of 20. No, yeah, 21,. Right, it was 21 years old. Yeah, 21 years old. Like she went blind, she temporarily. It was temporarily, she temporarily went blind. She's going to share that story with you, but not only that. More things started happening to her life. She's 32 and she has went through a lot more than I could ever even imagine and, just like you said, I don't, I couldn't have hand, I don't think I could have handled it the same way she did. So she came to share that story and it's pretty, it's pretty inspiring.
Speaker 1:
1:20
My one of my big takeaways from this interview was learning to be okay with not understanding the why and not giving up, but keep going. So this is a this is a really powerful story. It's a shocking story. So you guys we hope you guys enjoy this episode. Let's go ahead and dive on in. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for being our guest tonight, thanks.
Speaker 3:
1:43
Thanks for having me. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:
1:45
I know I know a lot of us don't know you that well, so let me give you about 30 seconds and just tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 3:
1:51
Yeah, so I mean, I think the core of it is that I'm just an average person in Nashville within a pretty unique story, and I've met a lot of people through that story. I'm currently 32. I just finished my 10th major surgery in the last 12 years, so I've gone through the highs and the lows of healing and hurting and health and weakness and everything in between.
Speaker 1:
2:21
Wow, Well, you know, to kind of give you like some insight about the studios the studios is all about that's what the studios is here for is a share stories, Because we feel like that I think that a lot of us, at least for myself, there's been. A lot of times I've went through life feeling like like it was only me dealing with things, and then I realized that by becoming weak and becoming vulnerable and sharing my story with people, not only was I learning that other people were struggling with similar things, I also learned that by sharing my story could actually help encourage somebody else that maybe is going through something that that I had been through. So, with that, tell us a little bit about your story. How did it all start? At 21, you said Ooh.
Speaker 3:
3:03
So maybe start there. Yes, so I had a lot of life plans when I was young and kind of all these very lofty dreams that were accessible to me, like they were within my hands. I've always been athletic. Health's been a big part of my family, with my parents and my sister, so we've all all been athletes, come from an athletic background, and about four weeks before my 21st birthday, I found out that I was going blind. In fact, the day that I found out, I had already lost 80% vision in my left eye and about 20% in my right. So four days later had massive surgery on my eyes, spent the entire summer recovering uncomfortably with all sorts of medications and things like that, and that was the first kind of door opening experience of I am not invincible, right, and that kicked off what I thought would just be a season of suffering and it actually just expanded. So over between 2010 was the first surgery to 2015, I've had seven different surgeries on my eyes. Wow that.
Speaker 3:
4:23
I was involved in a ton of different sports at that time, soccer being one of the main ones, and I lost my depth perception so I couldn't see Like if I were to try to kick the ball. It just was going to be really funky. So I tried to relearn that. But I have a really big competitive spirit. That's just ingrained in me right Even now, like with all these restrictions, like the competitiveness is there. So I tried to modify kind of what my outlets were in health, like well, if I can't do soccer, what can I do? So then I started exploring different sports and that all happened in between the ups and downs of recovery.
Speaker 3:
5:02
More recently, in 2018, well, let me back up In when I was 21, I was diagnosed with spontaneous retinal detachment, right. So spontaneous meaning there is no cause, it just happened. There's not a genetic reason, there wasn't a trauma, it just happened, right. And then flash forward to 2018, I was diagnosed with idiopathic bilateral osteonecrosis of the femoral heads. And, to kind of break that down, idiopathic same as spontaneous. There's not a specific cause for what, why it's happened. There's not a reason. We've done testing, there's nothing there. So idiopathic bilateral meaning both both hips Osteonecrosis is the death of the bones, so I can explain that a little bit. And the femoral heads you know, the femur in your body is the strongest bone and so the tops of that inside my joint were just collapsing ultimately, and that was due to a lack of blood supply. Right Again, no specific trauma, no big event. No, you know history that would affect that diagnosis, or yeah, it just happened.
Speaker 3:
6:16
So basically, I've spent the last 12 years with high hopes that I've gotten through one more thing and nothing. You know, that was it right, I'm over it, yeah. And then you know every about every two years, something else comes down the line and you're like all right, well, this is another big big thing, like can I get through this? Can I get over this? So there's been a lot of adjustments in my life, like my approaches, to how I kind of give grace to myself and those sufferings I've been through. The entire entirety of people's responses to my own individual suffering, which can vary from like encouragement to self-inflicted, like you're the cause of your own pain. I'm like well no.
Speaker 3:
7:04
It's. Yeah, it's been a difficult journey, but, like the three things, like I, you know, reflecting on 2023, I had both major surgeries, had both my hips replaced this year. I just kind of sat back and I like thought like I've gotten through like again one of a big thing in my life, but, you know, at the end of it I can still see, I can still walk and I'm still here, like and just those three things, right so?
Speaker 3:
7:35
and then in front of me I have an opportunity to continue to grow from this experience, right so there's, there's a lot wrapped in that. There's grief in losing, you know, the freedom and abilities that I had, there's Dreams that I continue to build, that continuously got shattered. You know, like, yeah, the expectations that we, I think we step into in life at a young age, we some of us are fortunate enough not to get like slapped around by them and then other people, you know, we we get hit by the unexpected, whether that's a medical suffering or a loss or anything like that. Like there's a lot that happens in life. One of the things that I did do on my 30th birthday is I took like an account for the last ten years and I sat down and I wrote. If somebody had sat me down at 18 and told me just what the next ten years would look like, what would have helped me, just to know like at 18, you know Me personally.
Speaker 3:
8:34
I'm like excited for college, I'm gonna do these things, I'm gonna have this career, I'm gonna get married, I'm gonna have kids. None of that exists Right now. Like that has all been influenced by all the stuff I have gone through and there's been acceptance of this is my story is not gonna look like a cookie cutter experience, right, I'm not gonna have the White House with the picket fence and like the perfect life and I'm okay with that. Like it's taken a few years to accept that. But I I think that there's a true beauty when you go through something hard, when you suffer it, a loss, and especially when you continue to walk through it.
Speaker 3:
9:11
There's, there's huge Victories that some people really can't tap into or connect unless they walk through suffering themselves, right. So one of the one of the number one thing was I just wanted somebody to tell me that All people do suffer. Like it's not reserved for how good you are or her badge you are, or like what your belief system is. Like all people Can suffer and and it's just something that happens in life. And then the second thing I wrote is that it's okay to grieve. It's okay to grieve the things that I've been through, the different changes and seasons I've gone through. But it's not okay to grieve without growth, right, because it gets really easy, looking at your surroundings, even physically being exhausted or mentally exhausted, to sit in self pity and going why, oh, why me right? Um, so, grief is great, but how do we grow with that grief?
Speaker 2:
10:14
Yeah.
Speaker 3:
10:15
I think yeah.
Speaker 1:
10:17
Yeah, let me unpack this a little bit too, because, like so you, okay, I With hearing all this and you've went through a lot, but I do want to ask you this let's, let's start here for a second. Let's go back. You said that I know. You said you're very, you know You've always been and like, very athletic and stuff it's been in your family stuff. So when, when this started happening at the age of, I mean, 21, I mean I Just couldn't imagine this kind of a change and if, especially if you were, your family's been big into, you know, the athletic side, would you mind sharing how did it affect you Mentally? Like I mean, you had to have somewhat find your identity and and being athletic and then Changing how. What was that like? If you don't mind, sharing it was.
Speaker 3:
11:02
I mean, it's shattering, honestly. Um, every doctor I have always gone to you know when this big events happen. I want answers like that's a natural response to these things. And by all sorts of testing and I can tell you I've had every single test, a needle, all the things, it's healthy by all accounts, is their answer they, they can't give me a reason why.
Speaker 3:
11:26
And so I think, like asking why me is a normal response to what's going on, right, um, so once you hit that question and you kind of at least for me, it was like well, there isn't a why Can you accept that? Right? Can you be okay with it being ambiguous and kind of untouchable, like it just exists right? And once you get from the why me, you do what now? Right, so in this setting, with this new diagnosis, with these new set of parameters, with this new restrictions that I mean it's a continuous loss of the freedom you thought you would live. Right, like, what can I do now? What now?
Speaker 3:
12:17
And so for me, and just being athletic, I just wanted to shape movement in some way, shape or form, right. I'm a big believer in nutrition and that like motion is lotion, right, always be moving and like in some way shape or form or capacity like that's healthy for your body, and so when certain things were started to get taken away, I just want to make sure that I found something that I actually could participate and do and that looked a lot. It looked very different in different seasons, so that could be like try to do triathlons and which I never did, really big ones, but I definitely tried to get into it Swimming and biking and rowing and spurts of crossfit, but never like the crazy bodybuilder looking people that now just being consistent and moving and setting goals to yourself and setting achievements. When I got the diagnosis with the hips, a lot of even that was taken away from me, so they told me I need to stop running, I needed to stop biking, I need to stop doing like certain movements that would make my hips like externally rotate or anything like that. So even my window of opportunity to do things kept getting smaller and smaller and I would just try to modify right.
Speaker 3:
13:30
Like what can I do, though?
Speaker 3:
13:32
What now, and so that looked to like more like Pilates and yoga and walking and like very low impact things, swimming for a short season. I personally chose to not have both hips replaced at the time of my diagnosis Because I wanted room for answers. Right, I wanted to explore what could I do to maybe reverse this. There's nothing, there was nothing. So just in my case. So in that season, like first, I'm told I can't run anymore. So every time I see a runner running by me in my car I'm just crying, I'm grieving that loss.
Speaker 3:
14:14
Because that person now has a freedom that I just can't have anymore. Right, that's still not on the table. And then going from years and trying to like put off surgery, just more and more restrictions. I remember like a week before I had my first hip replaced I couldn't make it to like lap around Costco without limping and crying in pain, like just a very small distance.
Speaker 3:
14:40
And it was kind of that moment. That's like I know that there's a life to be lived beyond this hard choice that I have to make, but it requires me to like walk through and make the choice. So now I've had like a year, right, I've come from this very athletic season, grown up in this very athletic family. We're competitive, we're driven, and I keep having these one off things that kind of restrict me. And I've had a year where I've had two hips replaced. I've had a lot of downtime Just a ton.
Speaker 3:
15:12
And now my body is different than what I'm used to. And so now there's a season of giving my body grace and its resiliency, because it's still here and it's still continuing on and there's still a healing process I'm walking through, right, and that the way that I live my life now is going to have to look different, right? So then it's the what now? Question. We've gotten past the why of me. We've gotten past the hard choice what do I do now? And so I'm actually really excited because I don't know the answer for that for this year, Like I don't know what's possible now, but I do know that I'm currently without pain. I'm still healing.
Speaker 2:
15:49
I've still got like all these new restrictions.
Speaker 3:
15:51
that I'm getting used to, but there's so much possibility still. And that's like a very precious thing to hold, yeah.
Speaker 1:
16:00
So that's a very, that's a very. To have that kind of positive outlook through this too, is that that's that could be really encouraging to a lot of people. I mean, you know, I think one of the things I was noticed when you were talking about was when you saw the runner how it made you start, you know, break down, because you realize the freedom you don't have anymore, and I think it for me, my, my, it's like I don't want to be little, anybody's like anything that you might be going through it, because I think we all have different challenges and we all have different struggles. I mean, yours is I couldn't even run around it and just to hear somebody that's went through everything, like you have to be here and say I'm setting new goals, I'm looking and seeing what's next, what can I do. It's like you're not giving up and but you also, when you start getting that place, you start realizing the things that maybe we easily looked over and and took as for granted.
Speaker 1:
16:53
Like it's been something I've been sharing with my, with my family, that this year I'm really focusing on self awareness myself, like taking care of myself, but also asking myself some deeper questions about why I think this, what? What am I going to? Why is this important? What am I going to do? But also, like, look at it with my health too, because there's a lot of things that I've put to the side because of, you know, busyness, work and goals and success, and then going okay, wait a minute, none of that really matters. Ultimately, at the end, my family is the most important thing to me and they want me around as long as possible. And here you are, going through all this and I think if I don't know I mean I just to be honest, like if I had went through that, I don't know where, how I would handle that. But I know some of the little things I've dealt with, but I've just felt like, oh, and it's hard when you don't have answers to the why- yes.
Speaker 1:
17:43
But then they say you know what, but what's next? Like that's, I don't know. That's, that's inspiring to me, it really is. So I mean, thank you so much for sharing that that's. That's huge. That's huge.
Speaker 2:
17:54
I was just going to ask you know, like, when you go through all of those things as well, it's, you know, important to have a good support system around you. I'm assuming and you said you know you've heard the gamut of things said to you throughout the years, or whatever it may be, but what as an outsider who may have someone in their life that is experiencing some really tough stuff, like how, what works in regards to, like, showing your support and being encouraging and helping you on, you know, this tough journey that you've experienced?
Speaker 3:
19:01
Let's see the gift of presence, like having having others present in your life is a huge thing. And and following up, like I can have people text me hey, how you doing today, that's great. And then I won't hear from them for three to six months, right, Because they feel that they've done their due diligence and reaching out right, and their life continues. They continue on. I'm stuck in mobile, in bed, without, without resources, without company, right? So the gift of presence is a huge, huge thing. One thing that people want an answer and so they don't like when there's not an answer existent, right.
Speaker 3:
19:44
Other people will try to tell you why this is happening to you, and I also think that that's a normal response for somebody who is not walking through that suffering, but it is not a very encouraging moment when you also don't have the answer right.
Speaker 3:
20:01
So being able to be present but to be like be able to sit in that uncomfortability, like you can't fix it, you just need to be there right, and maybe there's small things like you can do. Like one thing I couldn't do for a very long time was put on my shoes right, so I had other people put on my shoes, which for me was just such a hard moment because I am a very independent person and I had to rely so much on others. But it is a gift for my friends to serve me in that way and that was a hard kind of term to come to, that I need to allow others to serve me in those ways because they do care. One thing I would avoid absolutely I have been told that the reason that my diagnosis exists is because I spoke it into existence by acknowledging it, and that's not the truth. But it is a hard thing to face, especially in a religious circle of going wait, did I call this to myself? Kind of like bringing it kind of to scripture.
Speaker 3:
21:06
Like Joe goes through a major suffering and he has four different friends that have four different responses to his stuff, right, and it's basically the spectrum of anybody's responses to suffering in other people, right, and every time that there's a response from his friends, he has a response himself that is grieving, that is wondering if they're right, if there's something missing in him or his environment or like his life, that could have prevented this. Right, and just sitting in the non-answer and allowing yourself to grieve is a really big thing For others, though you're not the savior for them in this moment. Right, bob Goff puts it as if you're on a stage and there's a whole setup. Right, you're tree number three, you're the bush, you're there, you're present, but you're not center stage. And then don't compare your suffering in front of the person that is suffering like well, you're going through this hard thing, but I'm going through this.
Speaker 3:
22:14
Okay thank you. I don't have the emotional or physical capacity to take on your stuff right now because I don't have the capacity to get through mine right. So, being gentle with the person that's suffering and then, as a sufferer, being gentle with yourself in that and knowing to tell people like hey, you know, like I just don't have capacity to have people over, I don't have capacity to have this conversation, I really need to rest, or I need this or I need that, and just being gracious in that, asking yeah.
Speaker 1:
22:49
That's good. That's good. I mean I know that I've got friends, that friends and I've done that to other people. So I mean it's not just I've had friends respond to me of different things like that, but I've done the same thing. When someone's sharing, I think, for me, I realized that it was more of like it was uncomfortable for me but I'm like I'm not even thinking about, I mean, I'm thinking about the person, but I'm thinking, oh yeah, I understand, but it's alright to say you don't understand, it's alright, it's actually great advice. Don't turn it back around about yourself when someone's opening up and being vulnerable because you want to know that they're present and listening to.
Speaker 1:
23:23
Yeah, I am gonna open up for just a second, you guys. If you guys have any questions or any thoughts that you'd like to share with Kirby, please go back and click the kiosk. I'm gonna drop the mic here so we can do some Q&As as well. So just go back and touch the screen. Libby, did you have anything else you wanted to ask before we go to any other questions here?
Speaker 1:
23:44
No I don't Alright, so I'm gonna go ahead and bring up DabJab. If you want to come on up here to the mic, you should have got a notice that you can come up here. So just walk up here to this main stage and jump on up and go ahead and ask your question or share your thought. Kirby, thank you for your inspirational story.
Speaker 3:
24:01
I really was wondering how you're doing today and if you're still going through some of the same medical issues that you described, and what's the prognosis?
Speaker 2:
24:10
where are you heading?
Speaker 3:
24:11
Yeah, we're my headed. So currently I've been telling people I'm just very ready to not think about my hips every day, right, I'm ready for enough distance from this moment that it doesn't kind of sit on my shoulder, right. So currently it's physical therapy, it's continue to move at the capacity that I have. I feel like my body is super, super weak. I did the totality of all the medications I took this year and I had like over 2400 between both surgeries and I had six months of an activity like there's just there was a lot wrapped up in that. So it just kind of feels like I purposely and like in good, in good reason, right, beat up my own body and I'm just exhausted, right, I feel like I'm catching everything every time I leave the house. It is just kind of a nightmare, immune wise. But I know that it will get better because I've gone through this before. Right, I've gone through the getting rid of the medication through your system and just kind of going with the ups and downs of that recovery. The biggest thing is I just need to allow myself to rest and be okay that sometimes I just need to rest. That's where I'm at currently I have.
Speaker 3:
25:31
I'm still trying to figure out all these restrictions honestly, because I have, I like, two or three pages of lists of, hey, you absolutely can't do this.
Speaker 3:
25:41
Oh, hey, cool, but you can do this and you can sometimes do this, but only if it looks this way, and so one of the things that I can't cross my legs anymore and I just have this habit of doing that all the time. So every time I like even go to do it, I'm like, oh wait, I can't, right, just kind of adjusting to that and and figuring out, you know, getting a whole new set of shoes where I don't have to bend down too much to get them on, and yeah, there's just some adjustments in that, and so it's. It kind of feels like if I, if I, were a football player, right, and I just had this really big game, this portion feels like the exhaustion sitting in the the room afterwards, like your body has been put forth on the the table as much as possible. Yeah, there's no more right, and so this is my resting season for sure. Like my cup needs to be filled again before I can do anything. Thank you for us.
Speaker 1:
26:41
Thank you, can I ask you? I know we got somebody else we're gonna bring up here too, so let me ask you this we're gonna bring up Joe here. Joe, if you want to head on up, you can head on up to ask your question as well or share your thoughts. Let me ask you when Joe's on coming up, kirby, where are you finding your strength from? I mean to go all, go through all this.
Speaker 3:
26:58
Let me ask you that, like well, you know funny story, I, you know I was not a Christian up until 19. Just almost to the date a year before I went through my first surgery, and my expectations when I became a Christian was that life was going to be less hard. And that's not. That has not been my experience. So actually, what I've been telling people is that, like, while my journey has kind of tanked, you know, downwards, in a lot of ways it has impacted and strengthened my faith. Right, because there are super dark days, there are dark moments with people. There's, you know, tears in private and real grief that people can't understand, and I just I know that every tear isn't wasted. Right, that my grief and anger is safe, and I've had, like experiences where things will just fall in line. That is exactly what I needed and I didn't even ask anybody for it.
Speaker 3:
28:10
Right, it was just provision after provision, and I'll give an example specifically, like the job I was working in, my diagnosis was a very physical job.
Speaker 3:
28:22
I was running around doing a lot of stuff and I just could not. Every day I would wake up going I don't think I can do this anymore and just praying like Lord, what else do you have for me Because I don't know if I can do this right, and without saying anything about those prayers or those needs, I was approached for a promotion that would allow me to be like, just sit right At a desk. And then I was like I will accept this, but I know that this is upcoming, so like, as long as you're okay. And they just said you know what? All you have to do is say yes, you don't have to interview, we will take care of it.
Speaker 3:
28:58
Not a big deal, so just that provision and protection there, right? So then I go and have this surgery. I've left work for now three months and I really like being a team player, right? So I want my team to feel supported. I'm ready to come back to work, I'm ready to give it my all and I get there and I already know that my next surgery is gonna be upcoming and I'm like I don't know if I can support my team in this way and be with my coworkers the way that I want again like this Like this was so hard.
Speaker 3:
29:27
And that same day, apparently in that gap month, I had a change in bosses that I wasn't aware of because I was totally unblocked from work. And I came back and I met him and about within 45 minutes of our first conversation, he goes actually I have this role, it's open, I want you to apply. And I was like, oh okay, like I've never met this man We've only talked now for 45 minutes and the role would allow me to be remote so that I could go into my next surgery and not have to lose time or money. Honestly, like having something to do was just such a big help in this second surgery because I just wasn't sitting there waiting right and, again, like I didn't ask, I didn't know, it was just something, that something laid in front of me and I had the peace to say yes to right that just.
Speaker 3:
30:16
I mean I have been taking care of in every way, shape and form, probably not the ways that I expected to right, or even sometimes the way I wished I would have been, but I have just been just in a protected, very loving situation, kind of like bouncing through all of these hills and valleys, and I'm just very, very grateful for that, because I know that without Christ with me and me, through me and around me, in my circumstances, that I would not have made the first step in those hard choices.
Speaker 1:
30:49
That's good. That's good. Thank you for sharing that. You know, when you said that it made me think of this scripture me and my wife just talked about this last week. One of the things that was interesting is you said that you know there's times like when you're in tears going through this, and this verse is what reminded me.
Speaker 1:
31:07
It's Psalms 56-8,. It says you keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. It's encouraging to hear you share that. This has actually brought you closer in your faith into God, because even at those times like God's recording every part of our story, even the parts that are hard, he sees us. He's collecting our tears. Every part of your story is important and precious to him and it's important for us to know that even when we're going through hardships, he's got a plan for it, but he's there with you and it means more than anything to him that he collects that in his bottle. So, joe, go ahead, joe, introduce yourself and please share a question or thought you might have for Kirby here.
Speaker 2:
31:52
You said that you pull strength from your struggle. That's an important realization and I wanna ask how you think that's gonna give you strength going forward.
Speaker 3:
32:05
Ooh, strength is probably not the word I would use honestly, because when I think of strength immediately I think of, you know, muscles. Like who? Is it the Greek God holding the world on his back?
Speaker 2:
32:21
I'm not that person right, Hercules yeah.
Speaker 3:
32:24
Like I'm not gonna be Hercules anymore. That's probably my thought at 18. Like that's probably what I thought I would turn into, Not the case.
Speaker 3:
32:32
So steadfastness is what I would say is really the strength. And there's actually a Hebrew word, it's ahavah and it's kind of the term for it is a type of love, it's a form of love, but it's it definition is I'm not going anywhere, right, and I've had to say that to myself, right. So I've had these hard seasons, I've had these hard moments and there are dark decisions in those moments because you can't see the light ahead of you sometimes, right. But then you have to tell yourself I'm not going anywhere, right. And then, when you don't feel that like I have had the Lord, just audibly say that back to me I'm not going anywhere, right. Just steadfastness in that position, that it's okay to be in, that suffering. And I think that probably not a strength out of suffering, but like a really good thing that comes when you suffer, is empathy and understanding for others, right. So there's a gentleness, there's a connecting thread when you've experienced a hardship or a loss, a loss of freedom, a medical surprise, anything like because you can at some level relate maybe not to the initial like XYZ experience, but to the grief that comes alongside that right.
Speaker 3:
33:51
So I would probably say that the steadfastness in life, like I know whatever's about to hit me, whatever comes my way, because there's probably, honestly, more suffering gonna happen in the future, Like I don't know for a fact that it's all over at 32, right, there's probably more coming my way.
Speaker 3:
34:07
But I know that I've gone through hard things before. I know that God's been with me through it and I've been just blessed regardless, even if I can't see it directly. The moment that I know that I can plant my feet and go okay, I can walk through this too, right, and then walking alongside others, in that that I'm not the only person that's going through a hard thing in my life, I'm not the only person who does suffer. Like it is very personal to me, but it's not a one-off personal experience. We all do it. We all suffer in some way, shape or form. So, being able to confidently and kindly walk next to a friend or even a stranger that might be going through something, because I have the gift to be able to sit there without fixing or correcting, now right, I can just be present with that person, yeah, I have a tattoo that says it's a Psalm 51.8 across my hip and it's let the bones that you've broken rejoice, right.
Speaker 3:
35:05
And it's when gosh David is grieving his own loss and sin and the things that have been taken away from his life. Now that's, that's a very specific situation, but I think the words ring true. Right, it's like God knew this, this was for me, right, he, he needed everything together in the womb. He knew that this is the path that he was going to set me on, and so there's just like a preciousness and rejoicing in that, regardless if those bones are broken, right, which is a very, in my sense, very literal.
Speaker 1:
35:43
That's some. That's beautiful though I mean it takes not many people would would be able to see that, and that's that's a gift in itself for you to see that and and not only see it but also say it be okay with it. Like you said, you know you're not like you want to answer for why, but it's like you've, you've embraced that. I think you've trusted God with it and let him, let him use this and and that's a beautiful thing. And I know, like I said, I know there's people that that come here to the studio that have shared with me that you know their own struggles with their body and stuff, and I'm like it's just, it's so inspiring to hear somebody's story that's going through it but hasn't given up and and is looking for what's next. It's a beautiful thing. So thank you so much for sharing that. Thank you so much. What is one thing that you would hope people would take away from your story today?
Speaker 3:
36:38
Probably two things. If you're going through something hard, you're in a safe space to grieve. It right To feel your feelings, to experience them, but I would encourage you not to get lost in them, right? We don't want feelings to dictate our actions, but we want them to be there. They're gravitating right, they kind of help ground us to the moment. So it is, it is okay to grieve and and that grieving looks very different for other people, right? So if you're going through something hard, know that it's okay, that it's normal, that your responses to it are normal.
Speaker 3:
37:17
And then, if you are walking alongside someone that is suffering and you're struggling with like I can't fix this or I feel like I'm not doing enough or what should I be doing that just kindness is like the easiest thing. How can I like ask your question, how can I be kind to this person in whatever way that looks like? Is that texting them? Is it calling them? Is it FaceTiming them? Is it, you know, sending them like an Uber Eats gift card? You know something like how can I send kindness to this person? And it might feel small to you, but I can tell you, being on the receiving end, little things are so big and weighty and just have like a big gratitude behind it, like I have so much thankfulness for the just the small things throughout my every day that that helped from others. Yeah.
Speaker 1:
38:09
That's great, that's great. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
