Speaker 1:
0:01
Do you like to talk about, like, what caused you to choose to take the break?
Speaker 2:
0:06
Taking a break was actually probably the. It was one of the hardest things that I really decided to do. We've been doing Killer Bee Studios for two years now and I could feel the pressure I need to sort things out. My lesson learned was a little bit different, I think, a little bit more personal and I don't I kind of was going hesitant. Different, I think, a little bit more personal, and I kind of was going hesitant, going back and forth, like do I actually want to share this at the show? Welcome to the New Horizons podcast. I'm Brian Curie.
Speaker 1:
0:34
And I'm Shauna Curie, also known as Mr and Mrs Killer B, in virtual reality. So this podcast is recorded live from the metaverse at the Killer B Studios where real life stories and God experiences are shared in a way, only the metaverse at the Killer Bee Studios, where real life stories and God experiences are shared in a way only the metaverse can offer.
Speaker 2:
0:48
With that, let's go ahead and dive in to today's episode. Oh yeah, it's great to see everybody at the Killer Bee Studios. Great to be back. It's been a long time. Do you like that Great to be back?
Speaker 3:
1:02
Yeah it's like at the wah-wah button here.
Speaker 2:
1:05
Yeah, I see that Tonight we're going to talk about our break. We're going to talk about our break and redefining our time. We're going to talk about some awareness that started taking place in our lives. We're going to talk about margin and we're going to talk about a little bit about humility. Did I say that right? Humility yeah, I a little bit about humility. Did I say that right? Humility yeah, I felt like a roar off tongue wrong.
Speaker 1:
1:26
It's so sad you doubt yourself so often now, because I always correct them. So now he's like is that the right word? Is that the right word?
Speaker 2:
1:33
Well, you know, I'm going to ask you guys first, but let me know, by some confetti, how many of you love taking a vacation. Throw some confetti if you love vacations. Okay, okay, it looks like mostly everybody. There's a couple people that don't Okay, so I'm going to ask you this Let me know, by throwing some confetti, how many of you in here are beach people, yeah, yeah. I know we're beach people, okay, all right. How many of you are outdoor people Outdoors?
Speaker 1:
2:03
Okay yeah, outdoors too, yeah, somewhat, yes, yeah, I know Breeze is definitely Outdoor at the beach.
Speaker 2:
2:09
You can't yeah, You're outdoor at the beach, Like if we went camping. She'd be like no, we're not doing that.
Speaker 1:
2:13
No, I don't camp. No, there's lots of reasons Especially primitive camping, though I've heard that's awesome. I want to try that. Yes, has anybody been glamping before? Oh man, I really want to do that the uh okay.
Speaker 2:
2:30
So let me ask one more how many of you are more like staycation people? You just want to stay, like stay around your home area and hang out there. I like a good staycation, sometimes too, yeah yeah, well, it's kind of easy for us because we live in florida.
Speaker 1:
2:42
So yeah, well, we would probably consider a staycation like staying literally at home, which I'm okay with that too sometimes. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2:
2:51
Staying in.
Speaker 1:
2:51
Florida. That's not too much of a sacrifice.
Speaker 2:
2:57
Okay, so let's start off. Mrs Killer Bee, let's start off this topic to talk about. I want to open up with you sharing with me about. You know, we took about three months. I guess we're going on about three months on this break right now, which is a long break. Some people have asked me if we're actually coming back, because I guess we are coming back, but we've just had so much stuff going on in life that we really need to press pause and evaluate everything that's going on. So I'm going to ask you to share what does taking a break mean to you?
Speaker 1:
3:28
You know, brian brought it up to me originally and it just felt like even the idea of it felt like a cool drink of water, like, yes, I like that idea and I I forgot how long I've been the co-host now. But I'm different than a lot of people, I think, because I love people, I love talking to people. I think for the most part I'm an extrovert, but the older I've gotten, the more I've realized that I need more quiet time, more alone time, more downtime than I used to, yeah, and so, like, sometimes the idea of doing a show every Thursday started to get a little heavy for me. And also, as some of you know or maybe don't know, I've gone back to work over the last year and so it's increased over time and now I'm working five to six days a week, which I realized for a lot of people is no big deal, but for me it's taken a lot of adjustment because I'm just used to doing what I want when I want to and in a lot of ways I've built that into my schedule the best I can.
Speaker 1:
4:41
But still it's taken a lot, of, a lot of adjustment. So don't think I'm a baby for that. It's just been, uh, it's just been different for me. So, anyway, the idea of a break was really welcome for me and, um, as you all know too, like you know, brian's been dealing with health issues, so like all of that has weighed on me too. So it's given me a chance to, you know, just like take a breath, like not have as many obligations, and kind of reevaluate what I'm doing, what's important, what I really need to be doing with my time.
Speaker 2:
5:19
Is there anything particular that really stood out as something that you learned during this break?
Speaker 1:
5:24
I wouldn't say I have it down, but what I'm starting to learn, like what this has allowed me to be able to see, is how to react more. What's the right word? Like react quicker when I'm feeling, you know, exhausted, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, like don't let that, keep building. That's something I've struggled with my whole life. Is I just let things build, build, build, build, build, and then I can't take it anymore. So I'm through this quiet time. It has allowed me to, like recognize it faster and do something about it you know like deal with that quicker and not let it build, Because you know how it is.
Speaker 1:
6:07
I mean, have any of you dealt with this before, where you let things build, let things build and then you explode and then it's terrible, Like you have, you know, conflicts with your loved ones and you're exhausted and you know all of that. I don't want to do that. I mean nobody wants to do that, but I've always struggled with that and so I just want to, you know, catch that early, deal with things early, so that I don't get to the place where then it's a whole big thing.
Speaker 2:
6:37
Yeah, does anybody else? Can anybody else relate to that at all? Yeah, yeah, learning this. What are some of the signs that you notice in yourself and with that also, what are some of the things you're, you're putting in place to kind of be more aware of that? You know I'm going to like fall apart. That's what I start to feel.
Speaker 1:
6:53
Like you know I would say it feels like higher anxiety. I would say it feels like exhaustion. It feels like I feel like I'm snapping at you or Ashton or whoever you know is talking to me. Like you know, my patience is lower, so that's how I recognize it and the things I'm putting in place is like being willing to say I need a couple minutes, I need to go by you, by myself. Like just a little bit ago I kind of felt like feeling a little bit of anxiety so I said I'm gonna go take a bath, like just like taking myself out of the situation even for a couple minutes can help a lot, you know, and it's not that anyone's doing anything that's annoying me, it's just that you know things start to pile on and if you don't take a minute to decompress, then that's when you get in a situation you don't want to be in, you know treat people you love in a way you don't want to treat them.
Speaker 2:
8:00
I don't know if anybody else here can relate to it. If you guys have any, if you've dealt with that, what are some of the signs you guys kind of noticed, maybe in your own life too? If you guys think of something you know, let us know if you'd like to share, because I think this helps us all, cause I think we all can feel that pressure at times, that life's just really getting heavy, there's a lot going on and you need to break, you need to need to get some space, but sometimes we don't feel like we can say that uh, sometimes I mean even sometimes when mrs killer b tells me that she wants to take a break, it might, you know, I might take it as I've upset her some way, and it's like trying to have that communication open to understand that, hey, I need a break from it isn't a bad thing.
Speaker 2:
8:43
And they tell me all the time they need a break from me. So, but whatever, I make them laugh so hard.
Speaker 1:
8:50
Well, brian, what are some ways that you like? How do you notice when you're getting overwhelmed?
Speaker 2:
9:16
I think that I think I can feel. You know, I never really thought of it as stress before, because stress, I don't know, for some reason in my mind I put stress into the category of, like, I'm afraid of something.
Speaker 1:
9:29
Oh, interesting.
Speaker 2:
9:30
But that's like, so, like if people would say like I think you might be dealing with stress. Well, you said that before I said it today. Yeah, you said it today. And what did I say back to you today?
Speaker 1:
9:41
You said I'm not feeling stressed.
Speaker 2:
9:44
No. I said no, I guess I could be. I could have been feeling stressed. See, she wasn't listening. I actually said I was.
Speaker 1:
9:49
I just forgot what you said.
Speaker 2:
9:51
Because I had to think about it. At first I did say no, I'm not stressed, and I was like maybe I was because of things happening. I'm like, okay, I have to recategorize where stress is. It doesn't really mean I'm afraid of something, but there's a lot of pressure and that starts building anxiety and stuff too, and I'm like you know what, maybe it was stress. So I had to start learning that. I think that's probably a big one.
Speaker 2:
10:22
But feeling like I can't breathe, like almost feeling like, ok, I've got so much stuff going on, I feel like I'm running back and forth trying to make everything happen, and that's some of the things I started learning during our break was I don't need to make all this stuff happen, like I need to really just step back and let the right things happen.
Speaker 2:
10:33
And if even if I think it's the right thing, if it's not happening, that's all right, because it's not the right thing for right now. If it was, it would just be something else. Yeah, so understanding how to do that and then also unplugging and being able to let my body rest some from all the stuff that we're doing. You know, when we talked about taking the break, we thought we did not expect that, that the show would be the hardest thing for us not to want to jump, to jump back in. I think it was like the next week or two weeks later. We're like man, we really miss being there and doing the show and talking to people and connecting. But we knew if we just jumped back in we weren't helping the situation.
Speaker 1:
11:13
So would you like to talk about, like, what caused you to choose to take the break?
Speaker 2:
11:18
yeah, I could definitely do. Yeah, taking a break was actually probably the I think I've already said this it was one of the hardest things that I really decided to do. We've been doing Killer Bee Studios for two years now. When I knew I needed to take a break from everything, this was the last thing that I was holding on to. I was like, no, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 2:
11:37
But I also knew that there was a lot of stuff happening and I could feel the pressure and there's a lot of preparation that goes in when we have guests that we bring in and we have to prepare. Diener probably knows that too. Diener's hosting her own show now, creator Spotlight and there's a lot of preparation that goes into it. And then working with your guests and I was like I just need a break from that and really it. And I was like I just need a break from that and really it's just because I needed time with you guys too. I need to sort things out and not feel the pressure. I have to be back in there to do the show.
Speaker 2:
12:19
And I think that's probably the biggest thing, biggest reason show, because I love this show and we love I mean we get stories of people whose lives have been impacted from the stuff we're talking about, that we're thinking about suicide and we're struggling with addictions. I mean, those are things it's hard to walk away from if you know that kind of impact's happening. Just because I loved it, I had to press pause on it for my health and and for us as a family. There's things that we're searching and wanted to get answers on as well. So, if you think about the things that you learned, my lesson learned was a little bit different, I think, a little bit more personal, and I don't I kind of was going hesitant, going back and forth, like, do I actually want to share this at the show? But that's what this is about, that this show, the New Horizons podcast, is all about sharing our real life experiences and being real with each other, and my lesson I learned actually just happened, probably only a few days ago, maybe two or three days ago, and Mrs Killer Bee didn't even know it until I mentioned it to her today that I might be struggling with a pride issue. That was something that I had to recognize and and the way, I don't know if has anybody here ever struggled with pride before? Has anybody here? Yeah, it's not something that's really something that you really want to talk about. It's not something that you really want to receive when someone tells you that you might be dealing with a pride issue. And that's kind of the way it happened. We're just back from vacation.
Speaker 2:
13:49
Something was something just started frustrating me and I said something. I said something to Mrs Killer Bee and she told me she's like I think you're dealing with pride and I'm like, of course, I'm like I didn't want to hear that. I don't. That's the last thing I want to hear, cause I don't want to be someone that struggles with pride. But then I knew that she was also. She was on to something, she was touching something. I'm like, if it, if it is that sensitive, if she says that, then there's definitely a, there's something there that's a problem that has to be taken care of.
Speaker 2:
14:20
I asked I want to ask you, shauna or Mrs Killer B what were their sign? What was the sign to you that said, hey, he's dealing with a pride issue. And what did it take? Was it easy for you to tell me that? It felt like to me? It was easy for her to tell me. It was not hard for me to tell you because I knew it, I knew it, I knew it see, no, because I thought it was so obvious that I didn't think it would be a surprise to you.
Speaker 1:
14:51
But, um, the way I could tell was that little things were just driving you nuts like things were like bothering you on such a deep level where it was something where I was like, why is that bothering you? It's not a big deal, you know. And so when I mentioned it to you I didn't think it was even going to be a big deal. I was just like clearly he already knows that this is what's bothering him, but I didn't know it would be like a surprise to you or something you hadn't already realized.
Speaker 2:
15:22
Yeah, If anybody has a comment or a thought or a question, feel free to let us know. We'll bring you up Lost Virtually. How are you doing? It's great?
Speaker 3:
15:28
to see you, man. Good to see you Besides my pride issue.
Speaker 2:
15:32
I'm doing pretty good.
Speaker 2:
15:34
Well all you need to overcome pride is a good memory, Thanks, Virtually what I'm learning is pride can be. It starts off as a thought, but then it can start turning into different actions, Absolutely. And you know, mine or my pride was starting in a thought, but you started seeing it coming out verbally and becoming a problem and it's great to have people close to you that can speak into that in your life. So you helped me become more aware of that and that helps me begin the process of moving beyond that as well.
Speaker 1:
16:08
You know, it's a beautiful thing that you mentioned that, because you know it happens to everybody where you're struggling with something, but sometimes you don't even recognize the how it's affecting your actions until someone close to you shares that with you. And, like I said, when I brought that up to Brian I didn't even realize that was going to be a big deal to him, you know. So it's good to like be gentle when you're talking to your loved ones about what they might be struggling with. Um, I'm not always great at that. Um, I like tend to either avoid something for so long that you know it becomes a problem, or I'm too forceful and then that becomes a problem. I'm not good in the middle, so I'm going to work on getting better at that. But yeah, it's hard Sometimes. It's hard to understand your own really your own sin patterns. It's hard until someone helps you recognize, you know, how you're reacting to things, stuff like that.
Speaker 2:
17:05
It's kind of like with, you know, with Arcane, when he was young. We talked about there was a time in our life it was when I lost my job during the economy crash in 2010. And we we couldn't afford to have garbage picked up at the house and what we did was we would put all our garbage in our garage and then the church that we were serving at a church what we do is we'd load up that whole truck and the church told us you can put your trash in our dumpster. So I was embarrassed by it. So I would put all the trash in the garage until it got so bad that we had to put it in the truck and drive down and dump it. And, of course, I'd do it at nighttime. And one thing I learned is I was talking to our cans.
Speaker 2:
17:42
Like you know, there's things in our life that we all kind of carry our own baggage and we kind of throw that baggage and we hide it somewhere, but that baggage isn't something that we're supposed to continue to keep and hold onto. But the thing is, is you keep piling it up? It's going to start stinking and that's where it got to the point where I'm like I have to go get rid of the trash because it smells out there and I'm going to have to just own up to this situation and go dump this, even though it hurt my ego a little bit. But it was a great opportunity to kind of show and teach them about how we got to deal with that stuff before it starts stinking, because it'll start affecting other people around us and they'll start smelling the stink, and what's sometimes bad is we don't end up smelling our own stink because we're used to being in it.
Speaker 1:
18:31
What's that commercial? You go nose blind.
Speaker 2:
18:32
Yeah, nose blind. That's a new one. I've never heard that.
Speaker 1:
18:34
Spiritually nose blind.
Speaker 2:
18:35
Wow, that's a new one, that's a new one. Well, another thing I wrote down was, I think that one of the things because I made some notes on trying to help, how to help myself in this, this area too and one of the things I wrote down was evaluating my motivations, like what's motivating me, what's motivating this to like, why do I feel this way at this time? Why do I need to be the one that is always right, or I need to be the one that's recognized, or I need to be the one that is always right, or I need to be the one that's recognized, or I need to be the one, like I had to start asking those questions internally and say, hey, what, what is my motives here, and if those motives aren't good, that that needs to change. So that was something I wrote down. And then I guess, also practice and humility, like being able to listen, like more actually, just not to have to always have the input to say, but listen and admit my mistakes, like I probably shouldn't. You're right, when that person cut me off and I had had enough, it really wasn't that big of a deal, but big of a deal, but I made a big deal. And if I really thought about it, I could feel I don't know if you guys can this, but like when they cut me off, I could feel like the tension in my body like tensioning up. You guys want to hear a funny story about drivers in Florida? You guys want to hear it? Throw some confetti if you guys want to hear a funny story about drivers in Florida. Okay, all right.
Speaker 2:
19:52
So when we first moved to Florida in 2013, we served at a church out here and what was interesting was we moved to Florida and everybody's so great, they're so nice. You go in the restaurants, they want to sit down and just talk to you. It's like the waiter or waitress and they just spend hours talking to you instead of working. I'm like what the heck? Everybody closed down at three because it's like oh, we've had a long day, we gotta go, probably to the beach or something great people. Until they get in their cars and I told this to a the group of the church. I was like you guys, everybody here is great. You guys are like oh, we love you, you're great people.
Speaker 2:
20:25
Then you get in your cars and you guys turn into like little demons and you guys are like honking your horn, like before the light even turns green, like we had one person give us a middle finger. Because, I mean, I don't know, they gave us the middle finger driving behind us and because they didn't like how slow we were going. And then they pulled up next to us at the light and I'm like, oh great. And they're like like this. I'm like, oh okay, I'm like I'm gonna lose it. They rolled, I wrote in my window. I'm like, uh, your hood's open because we had our hood was bungee cord closed because the hood latch was shut. I'm like, oh, you're so nice, but you gave me, like, the middle finger and riding my bumper all the way up here. You want to bring up the Q&A mic there, arcane.
Speaker 3:
21:03
Good to see y'all. I just had to put my hand up as a native Floridian and say I'm not just going to sit up here and listen to y'all bash us as drivers. Okay, Perhaps it's the ones who didn't you moved here that maybe have the issue. No, we can't.
Speaker 2:
21:24
I will say after we got a big problem was we kept our Ohio plates for a long time. Once we got rid of that, it got much better so yeah, I think there's some.
Speaker 1:
21:34
They're like get out of here tourists.
Speaker 2:
21:38
They call them the snowbirds, like snowbirds, get out of here.
Speaker 3:
21:42
You make our traffic terrible, not when you live here they call them the snowbirds.
Speaker 2:
21:42
Like snowbirds, get out of here you make our traffic terrible. I know we're one of those people now.
Speaker 3:
21:47
But okay, so y'all, we got y'all.
Speaker 2:
21:49
That's all. But.
Speaker 3:
21:51
I just wanted to say this is a good topic. When I saw the inbox come through and just you know that you all were kind of launching again or coming out of a break, I mean it was just really refreshing to see that we had a Bible study yesterday that talked about how much faith it takes just to be and not to be busy.
Speaker 2:
22:14
You know, what I mean.
Speaker 3:
22:15
So I think, that this is really in line with the messaging that God is trying to get to all of us, like, even when I saw the message, I'm like, yeah, I got to do this, this and this, but it was just like why don't you just be and maybe understand that this is something you might need instead? Of acquiring all the time, kind of receiving what God has. So I just wanted to celebrate both of you and sharing your truth. But it is.
Speaker 2:
22:44
It is very, very much in the vein is what I want to say so yeah, thank you Michelle, thank you, thank you I feel like we're learning about.
Speaker 1:
22:55
you know, it's so against the culture to slow down, and I mean I I'm certainly not the first person to point that out that's something I feel like everyone's talking about right now. But it's so hard to do. It's so hard to make yourself just slow down and be I like that way of putting it just be, you know, and especially if you feel like you're getting killer B. Yes.
Speaker 2:
23:21
Okay.
Speaker 1:
23:23
I actually kind of like that so yes. I think that's something I'm learning now that I'm back to work. I'm I used to think like that's not something I struggle with. I don't want to go, go, go. But now that I'm working again, I see how that is such a trap, because there's always more things to do and there's only so much time. So I get it now. I'm sorry that. I always thought you know, you all were too busy. No, not you people in general, but just people in the world.
Speaker 2:
23:53
One of the other things that I wrote on here I don't I only have like one, like a couple more things to kind of talk about, because I don't want to keep people here too late but the other thing I wrote down was to focus on personal growth, my own personal growth and I mean that by like they set my own personal goals and stop comparing myself to others. Like I'm like if pride becomes an issue, it's usually because you're comparing yourself to somebody else, and I was like I've got to be careful that I'm not doing that and and be okay, like set goals for that. Challenge me and my own personal growth instead of worrying about other people. And then I wrote this down to actually celebrate those people.
Speaker 2:
24:34
yeah, that's great I'm like but that's it's great, but you know it's not easy if you're dealing with pride, so, uh, but it's definitely something. I think that if I can't do that, then there's a problem. I got to be like there should be red flags, like hey, something, be careful here. But when I was out here, someone was talking to me and they said the thing of and maybe some people here might be able to relate to it, but it wasn't as touchy this time, but I was aware of it because of of this process that I'm going through now and someone said you guys are monetized, right, and again, we've been in here for two years working hard and have invested money, real money, into helping to build what we're doing in here and connecting people, and with that, god has blessed us for that.
Speaker 2:
25:20
But then that little thing about being monetized hung over my head and I'm like why aren't we monetized? There's so much more we could do and it would really get to me. And then this time, when this person brought it up and they were so shocked, I'm like, yeah, I found myself going down the path. I was like I know everybody's shocked that we're not. I was like I don't understand either. But then I was like you know what? This isn't going anywhere good, except for it's going to resurface up pride. And so I changed the subject. I don't want to stay there, because this is not healthy.
Speaker 2:
25:47
And it doesn't matter if we're monetized, because when we meet with people they're like well, what are you guys doing in the metaverse? Isn't it just a game? We've all heard that, and now I have messages saved on my phone that I'm showing them. Like this is a message came in right here and I can share this in here because this was public on social media. I was like but before we went on a break, I got a message from somebody on social media on a public post that said that they were, they came here and that the killer B studios saved their entire family.
Speaker 2:
26:16
Like they were already that night they were going to go home and burn down their house and kill. I think they had three kids, their wife and, I think, two dogs or something like that, but it was like a total of seven people. But they came in here and heard somebody's story and it wasn't us, it was somebody else. That story was up here being shared and it connected to them and it changed the direction of their life. I'm like that is a better payoff than any monetization that you can get in here.
Speaker 2:
26:43
Absolutely it's impacting lives and that's something I had to remind myself. So, being aware of those things and then also practicing, the last thing I had was practicing gratitude, you know, taking time and remembering and thanking God for the things that he has done. When I thought about that, even with the studios and in our life, things like we all are going to have seasons that are up like we're up on top of the mountain. There's a lot of times we remember the seasons that we're down in the valley though more than anything, especially when we're down in the valley. But to take and press pause and remember all the things that God has done for us, that keeps our mind in a gratitude zone that we can remember and trust God and helps prevent us to stay away from that pride.
Speaker 1:
27:26
I was just going to say, just to take that one step further, as you know, like specifically about the monetization thing. You know, I like to think like there's clearly a reason why that hasn't happened and that's best for us, for what we're doing here for now. You know, maybe it'll happen in the future, maybe not, but no matter what, there's got to be a reason why that's not happening. You know, god's got it under control and he's brought us this far, like if he wants us to keep going, that's going to happen, Amen.
Speaker 2:
27:58
And if we're doing it to be monetized, then are we doing it for the right reason. If you enjoyed this episode don't forget.
