In this episode, Bonnie and David speak with columnist/author Anne Gagliano and her husband, retired Seattle Fire Captain Mike Gagliano. They discuss how firefighters and their spouses can build and sustain a strong, intimate, and lasting marriage. The conversation explores the mission of the firefighter versus that of the spouse—“the hero behind the hero”—who helps their responder thrive on the job.

Mike and Anne share how to keep your “first family” first and why the spouse is vital to the responder’s well-being and to the fire service. They highlight that divorce is the number one catalyst for suicide in first responders.

Many responders claim they wouldn’t sacrifice their family—yet tensions arise when one loves the job and the other resents it. Mike and Anne show how to write a shared, committed life story.

Spouses handle the home front, often solo, managing kids and long shifts. They’re the unseen force in the responder’s mission—supporting their spouse and helping make the world safer.

We explore the impermanence of emergency careers, and the importance of family and marriage after retirement. When the firehouse door closes for the last time—what kind of home will be waiting?

Anne, married to Mike for over 35 years, is an author and lecturer known for her powerful articles on Firelife.com and Fire Engineering. She and Mike co-authored Challenges of the Firefighter Marriage, teaching couples how to keep love and passion alive despite the demands of service life.

Mike retired as Captain of Seattle’s Ladder 5 after 33 years in fire/crash/rescue with the SFD and U.S. Air Force. He co-authored multiple fire service books and co-hosts the Mikey G and Mikey D Show. Together, he and Anne now travel the country helping first responder families thrive.



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