Rhonda Britten:
0:00
Because I believe that our destinies are interwoven with the worst days of our lives. So the worst day of my life was when I was 14 and it was Father's Day. My parents had recently separated and my father was coming to take us to Sunday brunch. And my mom and I start walking towards the back door. So my dad was open up his trunk and out of the corner of my eye I recognized that he wasn't grabbing a coat, but he grabbed a gun and he started yelling. You made me do this.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
0:26
Welcome to the New Horizons podcast. I'm Brian Curee.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
0:30
And I'm Shauna Curee, also known as Mr and Mrs Killer B, in virtual reality.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
0:34
So this podcast is recorded live from the metaverse at the Killer B studios.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
0:39
Where real life stories and experiences are shared in a way only the metaverse can offer.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
0:44
With that, let's go ahead and dive into today's episode. Hey everybody, welcome to the killer bee studios. Let's throw some confetti to dean or two.
Yvonne:
0:54
We always leave the producers out for you, confetti for you confetti for relaxing.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
1:00
Relaxing, man, it's great seeing you all right? Well, I'm gonna ask you guys a question first. So buy a show of confetti, throw some confetti. Uh, if you, somebody, if any of you tonight, has ever held back not because you were scared, but because you didn't want to be judged, or maybe you're afraid of failing, or maybe you're afraid you look foolish okay, I see big slop. Oh, yes, okay, all right, all right, you guys are the right audience. You guys are in the right place tonight.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
1:30
This is what about you, mr killer b? No, you. Do you feel like you've held back? For I got to it first, do you? Because I don't want to answer that question. Uh, do you think that you have held back on doing things for that reason? Because of fear no, well, yes, but like, what you asked them was not because you were afraid, but because you were afraid of being judged, or you thought you would be judged, or you'd be seen as foolish yeah, yeah, I definitely have.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
1:59
I definitely have, especially like when it comes to like new, you know, careers, new changes and and work professions, definitely. Or even sometimes it's just like I'm afraid to step up and say something that I feel is very important or I need to say, and then I'm afraid, well, what if other people don't agree with me? And but I've learned over the past like to step out and just say it tends to be ends up being a blessing for the other people where I find out they're going through the same stuff that I'm embarrassed to open up about. So so, yeah, that answers your question. Does that answer your question? It does yes.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
2:37
You put me in the hot seat? I don't know.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
2:47
You always put me on the hot seat. But yes, I will say too you know it's something I've been dealing with lately actually is kind of the fear of being misunderstood, I think is what I'm kind of dealing with right now is, you know, I love people and I love talking to people and, you know, sometimes I'm like a little more open than I should be, you know. And so lately I've been kind of dealing with that fear of like looking stupid. So I'll try to or I guess I am holding myself back more than I used to, because now I'm thinking like, oh, they're just going to think I'm an idiot if I say what I want to say, you know. So I.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
3:20
I feel like this is going to be helpful for me, because that's definitely kind of a newer sort of struggle I've been having.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
3:27
I get that. So you guys throw some confetti. If you can relate to Mrs Killer Bee on that, I can definitely. Yeah, I see it, Deeenr. How about you? Let's put Deeenr on the hot spot. She's over there, got a mic. She's not used it for a while. Got dusted off a little bit. Gotta dust it off a little bit. Braid, you see her cool hair. Oh, you gotta put your hand under the mic because we can't hear you remember yep, there you go right.
Deeenr:
3:52
Yeah see, it's been so long I, you know, I think we all go through that. You know we're just, we don't want to be judged, we want to, we want, we want people to like us. So we sometimes keep our mouth shut and not speak out because of that. So I think we all deal with that from time to time and it's really sad because the people that that we care about, they love us just the way yeah so true you
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
4:23
know what's interesting too is when you just said that, dina, I just realized that's exactly what my thought has been Like. I don't want to be judged by people, but then, if I really think about it, I'm kind of judging myself before even allowing them the opportunity to judge me. Our topic tonight, our topic tonight that we're going to get into, is fearless living. Now, who here would love to? Yes, I already see Legacy's already throwing her hands up.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
4:52
Would love to live fearlessly. Yeah, I see a lot of confetti.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
4:54
Me too, everybody. Yes, I want to. Mrs Killer Bee, this has really got me thinking about like what if fear? What if fear? Just what if fear isn't just what you feel when you're scared, like sometimes, when I think of fear, I think like that's something that I'm only going to feel when I'm scared, but what if it's actually like more of like an invisible force that is really quietly running our lives? And I think that's what we're really going to dive into with with Rhonda tonight. So, Rhonda, if you guys don't know, Rhonda Britton is an Emmy Award winner. She is a bestselling author and the founder of the Fearless Living Institute. So let's rain her some confetti, let's hit the guest music and let's bring out and celebrate and welcome Rhonda to the Killer Bee Studios. Rhonda, come on out, look at her, she's dancing and everything.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
5:45
Look at me.
Deeenr:
5:46
Look at her she's dancing and everything Look at me.
Rhonda Britten:
5:49
I'm amazing.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
5:50
I'm amazing.
Rhonda Britten:
5:52
Yeah, that's right.
Yvonne:
5:55
I did it, I got here.
Rhonda Britten:
5:57
I had to practice a lot for that. By the way, I got last like three times I was like help, help. I don't know where I am.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
6:07
Help. Oh my gosh, that's the most colorful entrance we've ever had, by the way.
Rhonda Britten:
6:10
Rhonda, that's right. That's right Because I'm fearless.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
6:15
That's awesome you are.
Rhonda Britten:
6:17
That's why you're here in the first place. Right, that's right, that's right. Thank you so much, yes. Thank you so much, yes. Thank you for joining us.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
6:23
We're so glad you're here, Rhonda. Rhonda, would you take about 30 seconds and tell everybody a little bit about you?
Rhonda Britten:
6:29
Oh my gosh. Well, do you want to know what I've been doing and changing lives? Do you want to know about the event that happened when I was 14 and made my life miserable for 20 years? Do you want to know about my Emmy or my TV appearances or my books?
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
6:46
What part do you want to know, mr and Mrs? Okay, so I would say, give us a quick 30 seconds of your background. We're going to dive into your story. We're going to have way more than 30 seconds, so maybe tell us about the. You get confetti, you get confetti. What are we talking about? What is all this? What's your background?
Rhonda Britten:
7:02
Well, I became a life coach 30 years ago and there was no coaching. There was no nobody coaching back then and I went on to write four books. I'm a bestselling author Fearless living is my bestselling book and then I went on to be the first life coach on television in the world, and so I've done over 600 episodes of television. Yes, I've done more TV than Jennifer Aniston. I'm just saying the truth, people, I'm just saying the truth. So I've done more TV than many people that you see on TV and I've changed lives. So I have done three television shows and now I get to be here with you all and supporting you to make your changes that you want to make.
Deeenr:
7:38
If you want to make any, who?
Rhonda Britten:
7:40
wants to make some changes. Give me some confetti. Any changes? Excellent, okay. If you don't, that's groovy too. Okay, great, excellent. So yeah. So I've written books. I've been on TV, been radio podcast, and here I am with you now.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
7:55
I noticed that you were on the Steve Harvey show too.
Rhonda Britten:
7:59
I was on Steve Harvey, I was on Oprah, I was on early morning shows, on the today show, good morning America. Yes and yes and yes.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
8:08
So that's where the confetti and you get confetti. You get confetti from Steve Harvey.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
8:12
No, that's. I thought you were serious.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
8:18
I've seen the gifs. I've seen the gifs. You get confetti, you get confetti.
Rhonda Britten:
8:21
Yeah, I get that GIFs.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
8:22
You get confetti. You get confetti, you get confetti. Yeah, I get that. That's awesome. I think Eli knew it too. I think Eli knew it too. Well, it's an honor to have you join us, Rhonda. It's an honor to have you join us. I want to like, when you and me connected and I was reading about your story already and what you do, and then we connected on Zoom, I was like, yeah, we've got to get you on here and I don't want to hesitate and waste any more time. I want to get right into your story. So first, maybe, just go ahead and take us back and share with us what led you to this mission of helping people live fearlessly.
Rhonda Britten:
8:53
Yeah, does anybody have a desire to help people go through what they went through? Does anybody have that? Give me some confetti If you have some knowledge or wisdom that you'd like to share. Anything at all, it doesn't matter how little or big anything and how many people love to support other people when they're going through hard times. Anybody, I do, I know, I love it. I love it. I love it.
Rhonda Britten:
9:12
Well, when I was 14 years old, I'm going to tell you about the worst day of my life, because I believe that our destinies are interwoven with the best days, with the worst days of our lives, so we normally can't see it when the worst day is happening. Of course, we only can see it afterwards. So the worst day of my life was when I was 14 years old and I grew up in a little tiny town in upper Michigan, in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, and it had two restaurants the Douglas House, fancy Buffet Hotel and Big Boy. That's it. No, mcdonald's, no, nothing. And it was Father's Day. My parents had recently separated and my father was coming to take us to Sunday brunch, so my mother was in her bedroom puffing up her beehive hairdo. Anybody know the beehive hairdo? Anybody give me some.
Deeenr:
9:55
Okay.
Rhonda Britten:
9:56
All right. Well, my mother's, you know, puffing up her beehive, putting on her blue eyeshadow and a rose color lipstick, and my dad walks in, come on, come on, come on, because that's what dads do. And my sisters my two sisters are fighting it out in our one bathroom and my mom and I start walking towards the back door to go with my dad out to brunch. My sister's still in the bathroom fighting it out and as we're walking out, my dad noticed it's starting to sprinkle and so he says to us I got to go get my coat from the car. Now this coat is a tan Naga hide leisure suit coat. Anybody know what Naga hide leisure suit coat? Anybody remember? Anybody old enough to remember? Thank you, iris. Thank you so much for remembering. Thank you so much, thank you.
Rhonda Britten:
10:37
So my dad was open up his trunk, getting out his tan Naga hide leisure suit coat and out of the corner of my eye, I recognized that he wasn't grabbing a coat, but he grabbed a gun and he started yelling at my mother. You made me do this, you made me do this and he fired. And I start yelling. What are you doing, dad? Stop. What are you doing, dad? And he points the gun to me and I believe I'm next and I stare at him. He stares at me, he blinks, I blink, I blink, he blinks, and my mother, literally with her last breath, screams out no, don't. And my father, realizing my mother's still alive, takes that bullet intended for me and shoots my mother a second time, and the second bullet goes through my mother's abdomen, out her back, lands in the car horn and for the next 20 minutes all I hear is and then my father cocks the gun one more time, puts it to his head and fires. So in a matter of two minutes I was the sole witness of watching my father murder my mother and commit suicide in front of me. Now I don't know how you'd respond, but this is how I responded. It's my fault, because I was the only one out there that could have saved her and I didn't grab the gun, I didn't kick his shins, I didn't jump in front of my mother, I did nothing heroic.
Rhonda Britten:
11:53
And so I, in that moment, divided in two, the outside Rhonda and the inside Rhonda. The outside Rhonda is I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. But the inside Rhonda? Self-hatred, guilt, regret. I did not believe I could ever be happy again, because when you watch your mother die, you don't get to be happy ever again. And so I went on and started moving through my life with these two people occupying this one body the person that I pretended I was out in the world, I'm fine, and the person who was self-destructive and who didn't love herself and didn't even like herself. So by the time I hit college, I found alcohol and became an alcoholic, had three DUIs and three suicide attempts, and it was my third suicide attempt that I realized something. I realized I am not very good at killing myself not good at that, and I better figure out another way because I'm not dying Now.
Rhonda Britten:
12:49
During those 20 years of suiciding, dui and drinking, I also was reading books and going to workshops and going to therapy. I was doing everything I could, everything I could, to save myself. But as I sat there, by the way, when you try to kill yourself three times, I do put you in a psychiatric ward for evaluation. And so I'm in the psychiatric ward. They deem me not crazy, they let me go, and as I get home that day I realize I have a lot of knowledge because I did a lot of things to help myself, but I don't know how to apply it to my life. I don't know how to change my life. I just know what they told me, but they never showed me.
Rhonda Britten:
13:27
So I realized I had to start over from the beginning. So I thought to myself well, what do kindergartners do? Well, you know what they get calendar and gold stars. So I bought a calendar and I bought some gold stars and for the next 30 days I put a gold star anytime I did anything good, and I mean anything good, and I'm talking about drinking and not breaking anything. That's where I was. And at the end of 30 days I had hope, because I had a calendar filled with gold stars and I knew that if I just started taking different actions, instead of just getting tools and skills without applying them, if I just started applying them in a different way, maybe I could change my life. And that's what led me to what I do today. Of course, not right away. It took me many years to get to this place, but that was my journey and I look back and I can see so clearly. You know, my parents' death, completely step by step, brought me here.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
14:21
And I saw just recently I've been following you on LinkedIn and stuff and I saw that you made a post, too, about you shared a little bit of your right Writing a. What is it A memoir? A memoir, yes, and you wrote about one of your friend. His name was.
Deeenr:
14:39
Bill Bill, bill Bill. Okay yeah.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
14:42
Yeah, Bill, About when you're in that place where the drinking was becoming a problem and you wasn't recognize it. I love what you said. Now would you mind to share with people a little bit about that story too, Because I feel like when we're in those places which I know we'll talk more about fear and some of the ways that it sneaks up on us and the way we cope with that.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
15:05
I want to dive into that, but one of the things that I was reading on your article or your memoir that you're writing was about how Billy kind of spoke to you about that and I thought that was so beautiful. So would you mind to share a little bit of that as well?
Rhonda Britten:
15:19
I'd be happy to, and I love that you brought up fear, because all during those 20 years that I was, you know, reading books and going to therapy and everything, I didn't think I was afraid. I mean, I grew up in upper Michigan and Minnesota. I'm 100% Finnish, so we don't have fear, we don't. There's no conversation Like if you would have asked me, if Bill would have asked me. That day that you're talking about, which I'll share in a moment, he would have asked me are you scared? Said no, I had no relationship to fear. I did not think I was afraid. I did not think I was scared, even though, looking back on it, I was petrified. I was waitressing at a little restaurant and he was the bartender and he would always he was sober and I clearly wasn't and he would say to me little things about well, you know, Rhonda, you might have a problem. And I would be like, well, I might have a problem, but I, you know, but I don't. So ha, you know I would. I didn't want to admit it, I didn't want to believe it and and and I and I don't know if anybody here relates, but I knew I didn't handle my drinking well for five years, but I definitely didn't want to quit. I loved drinking. And so Bill that day said to me hey, Rhonda, you know, going to be really going to be a real bummer. And I'm like, well, it's going to be a real bummer, he goes. Well, you're so talented. I'm like uh-huh, and he goes yeah, and you're going to lose it all. And I'm like, what? What do you mean? I'm going to lose it all. And he goes well, you know, drinking is progressive disease and the more successful you'll get, the more stress you'll be under and the more you'll end up drinking. And you'll be because you'll be famous one day. And when you're famous, it's going to get really stressful and you are going to lose everything. And I was so irritated and upset because I was like how, no, I'm not going to. I am working my behind off, right, I cannot lose everything after I've spent my whole life trying to change my life. No, I'm not doing this. And he goes well, you're going to lose everything. And so I said to him, after handing out a few oysters and some drinks, I came back to him and said I'm going to prove to you that I don't have a problem. Now, what I didn't share is what I did. So I said to him I do not have a problem, I'm going to prove it to you. And he goes okay, great, I'll look forward to seeing that.
Rhonda Britten:
17:34
So I went home that night and I was like, okay, what am I going to do? I got to prove, proved to Bill and myself that I don't have a problem. So I came up with this, I came up with this plan. I said, okay, I am going to drink one drink a day for 30 days, because if you can only have one drink a day, then clearly you're not an alcoholic right. If you can only, if you can have one drink, I mean right. I mean it proves you're not an alcoholic right, so I can have one drink, can't I? So I I went up to him the next day and go okay, I've got my challenge, I'm going to prove to you I'm going to have one drink a day, and if I can have one drink a day for 30 days, it proves it. And he looked at me like, well, usually when you're doing a challenge, you don't drink at all. And I'm like, yeah, but I'm going to prove it by one drink, right? So I right, like the joke of the century is right.
Yvonne:
18:18
You're going to take it to the next level.
Rhonda Britten:
18:20
Yeah, yeah, I'm going to drink one a day and I'm going to prove it to you. So I did that. I drank one a day. Well, by the second week, my whole life, my entire day, was occupied with when I was going to have that drink.
LostVirtually:
18:38
If I had it at lunch.
Rhonda Britten:
18:39
I couldn't have it at happy hour. If I had it at happy hour, I couldn't have it with dinner. If I had it at dinner, I couldn't have it after dinner. If I had it after dinner, I couldn't have it before I went to bed and my entire day became preoccupied when I could optimize my one drink. And so at the end of like end of the third week, with me being so spending all of my time thinking about when I could drink, I had to confess to myself that I had a drinking problem and that I was an alcoholic. And, trust me, I was like well, I can, but I can drink one a day. But what makes me an alcoholic is I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about it. And so that I did the 30 days. I had my one drink a day, my mind obsessed with drinking. And then I think I ended it on like a Tuesday, and on Thursday I went to my first meeting and I've been sober ever since.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
19:55
Wow, wow, yeah, that's amazing.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
19:58
Yeah, it is, it is, it is, it is a confetti moment for sure, absolutely yeah, and I love like what I really liked about what I was reading too, and that is cool to hear the rest of the story. I did not know all that so I'm glad I asked about it. I wasn't even on my list to talk about but I was. Like you know, I want to talk to her about this because I really appreciated too what you wrote about how bill he lets you sit in that Like he let you just kind of stew in that. I think that's the word you used.
Rhonda Britten:
20:24
He didn't confront me right, he didn't confront me right. He was just clever. He's like, well, it's going to be too bad, Rhonda, and I'm like what, what do you? Mean Like he didn't say like you've got a problem, lady. You didn't do that. Oh, you know, oh, it's going to be too bad. Bummer drag, and yeah, he just let me process it.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
20:41
Let me sit there.
Rhonda Britten:
20:43
And I and I really appreciated Bill a lot and I wanted to prove to him that I wasn't going to lose everything which clearly I would have.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
20:53
And I, like I want to get into the fear side of it too and cause one of the things that that you said just a little bit ago about how you never really walked around saying like I'm afraid, I'm afraid, and I don't think a lot of us do. I don't think a lot of us walk around saying we're afraid. But you teach that fear shows up in sneaky ways and I'm curious too, as we get into this is that part of? Did you learn that? Maybe the alcohol was part of that too? I don't know, but think about that for just a second. We do have a question. I want to bring this up. Uh, yvonne, come on down. Let's bring yvonne up and then we're going to go into what are some of these sneaky ways that fear can show up in our daily life so we don't even realize can?
Yvonne:
21:32
you hear me? Yes, hi, yvonne. Okay, so you're talking about, um, the alcohol and all of that, um, what's a common mistake that people make when they're trying to change their life? Like, what's one of the big things that you've noticed over the years?
Rhonda Britten:
21:49
I love that question. I'm going to tell you such a. I'm going to tell you the answer that comes through me right away is they blame themselves. They spend so much of their time in regret and beating themselves up that it's like they're carrying this heavy load while they're trying to move into a new way of being, into a new way of thinking, but they're burdened by the past and they're and they it's almost like they're punishing themselves. Right, I did these horrible things and I can't let them go. I want to change, I want to be a different person, but I've got to pay repentance or I've got to pay for these things. So when we beat ourselves up, it is the number one tool fear uses to keep you stuck. So in the world of fearless living, beating yourself up is no longer an option, no longer an option. So when you beat yourself up, you're literally telling fear, you won, fear, you won, you won. So we want to shift that.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
22:43
Wow, yeah, so like would you say, like a common phrase that came to, just was kind of come to my mind was I'm not good enough. Is that kind of like a position of beating yourself up? Is that like a place that could start?
Rhonda Britten:
22:55
Yeah, so I believe in something called. I've created something called the wheel of fear and the wheel of freedom, and the wheel of fear and the wheel of freedom are personalized. You're personalized fear. Okay, so everybody has a different wheel, like Iris has a different wheel than Yvonne, yvonne has a different world than EJ, ej, ej and arcane has a different wheels. So you have a wheel of fear that you get on because, because when you're, when your life isn't working, does it feel like you're a hamster on a treadmill?
Rhonda Britten:
23:19
Give me some confetti, if that's true right, you feel like you can't get out right. Well, it's because you're on the wheel of fear. And so what I've created is the wheel of fear to help you personalize it, because we also don't change when it's general. When it's generalized, we don't change because it's not about us, right. We need to personalize things to really have it hit hard. And then I've created a wheel of freedom which helps you set yourself free. So how fear shows up, you brought about drinking.
Rhonda Britten:
23:46
So one of the components of the wheel of fear there's four components. One is the core trigger and that is your deepest, darkest fear, the thing that you don't even know, you're afraid of and that takes us to fear responses. And fear responses are things you know, you do, that you really wish you didn't do. So. If you think of all the problems you have, all the character defects, the flaws, you think all the things you beat yourself up for procrastination, perfectionism, complaining, judging, disconnecting, feeling like a victim, bitter regret, I could go on and on and on. All of these things are fear responses, because you wouldn't procrastinate unless there was a fear. You wouldn't people please. If there wasn't a fear, you wouldn't get overwhelmed. If there wasn't a fear, you wouldn't get irritated if there wasn't a fear, right, you wouldn't judge if there wasn't a fear. So fear is the thing that causes all of these fear responses that you think and I think are my, were my problems, and I would beat myself up for procrastination, people pleasing, perfectionism, overwhelm, anxiety, et cetera. And those aren't actually the problem. The fear is and once you can identify what your quote, unquote core fear is the fear. Responses change, they alter because you, it's like fear has been caught Right, fear has been caught, alter because you, it's like fear has been caught right, fear has been caught.
Rhonda Britten:
25:04
So when you bring up the drinking, so let's say for a minute that we have the core fear, the core fear, the core trigger, and I can tell you what mine is. I can tell you what mine is, my core fear, which, if you would have asked me this before, I would have looked at you like you're a crazy person, because I do not identify this way. And that's the other thing about fear is you don't identify with what you're really afraid of. You're just like no way, I would never do that. Well, my core fear, the thing that's underneath everything, is I'm petrified that you'll see me, judge me, believe that I'm a loser, okay.
Rhonda Britten:
25:36
So when that is walking around inside of me without me seeing it, imagine how sensitive I am to criticism, how sensitive I am to feeling less than to feeling not good enough, right? So then, when you say something, when I go into a networking event, I go into a party, right, go into a place and let's say, I walk in and somebody kind of looks at me and then, just like you know, rolls their eyes and looks away. Right, most people feel like they did that to me just now. They did it to me. I don't belong here, you know, I don't. I should leave. I don't feel included, I don't feel like I belong here.
Rhonda Britten:
26:13
And so we make decisions based on how other people's, how other people are looking at us or talking to us or treating us when it's really, if we, we didn't have that fear, that wouldn't even bother us, wouldn't even bother us at all.
Rhonda Britten:
26:32
But because I have that trigger called the loser trigger, you give me a dirty look or you roll your eyes, I immediately think you think I'm a loser. Now, not consciously, I'm, didn't have that awareness, but I would start doing fear responses. Maybe I'd brag, maybe I'd get louder, maybe I'd laugh louder, right, I do something to shift it right. And then, when you start doing your fear responses, what ends up happening is let's think about it, you people, please, for two weeks in a row, or you judge yourself or you beat yourself up, you eventually go into what I call the core negative feeling, and that feeling is the feeling you do not want to feel. We all have feelings we do not want to feel, and my feeling that I do not want to feel is worthless. I mean, how many people love feeling worthless? No, not me.
Rhonda Britten:
27:12
I do not want to feel worthless. So then, when I have that feeling really over overcoming me, I move into what's called self-destructive behaviors. And that's where my alcoholism came in, right. So my fear response might be one drink. My self-destructive might be the whole bottle. Right. The fear response might be you know five cookies and the self-destructive is the whole bag. The fear response might be I'm, I'm isolating myself for an afternoon. Self-destructive might be I've not left my house for a week. So the intensity switches.
Rhonda Britten:
27:49
And so then we get on this hamster wheel. Then we go oh see, now, when I do my self-destructive when I drink, it only proves that I have to get better at hiding that I'm a loser. I've got to get better at it. I've got to get better at my fear responses. And so we're constantly trying to make ourselves better through fear, rather than sidelining fear altogether. Because fear is part of our biology, gang neurobiology. You're not getting rid of it. You cannot get rid of fear. It's part of how we're made up. It's how we're made by God. He gave us this neurobiology of fear. And so we get to decide wait a minute, do I want to keep on living on my wheel of fear? Do I want to go over to my wheel of freedom and live a life that is authentically true to myself and live my higher purpose? Yeah, that's right. The legacy, that's right. I want to live my purpose, that's right, that's right.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
28:33
I love like this. There you go.
Deeenr:
28:36
You got it, you got it, you got the emojis rocking in here.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
28:39
Yeah, this is so good. This is so good Because, like literally, me and Mrs Killer Bee was just talking about some things, like some people that we've been hanging out with, and I've told her I was like I just feel uncomfortable for some reason. I'm trying to figure out why do I feel like this? Like this isn't normal for me. And she's like well, I've noticed like sometimes, when you're around them, you'll talk a lot and you won't stop talking and, and, and. You can share some of the other things. We have to say that would be a fair response.
Rhonda Britten:
29:08
That would be your fair response. Yeah, please do tell him this is Killer Bee.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
29:17
We just started to recognize exactly what you're talking about. That. I just kind of quietly thought about it by myself while we were driving and it just came to me like he doesn't know what they think about him because he doesn't know him that well and so he's afraid of what they're thinking of him. And it was coming through because he's so personable and he's so kind and friendly. But he was just kind of, you know, like not acting like himself and talking too much.
Rhonda Britten:
29:43
He was doing overtime, overtime. Yes, and I was talking a lot.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
29:47
Yeah, talking like a little bit about business, because I'm like well, they'll understand business, because that's what they talk. I know that part about them and that's my work, and that's my work.
Rhonda Britten:
29:56
They'll see I'm an expert and they'll see I'm amazing because I do all these amazing things and I do all these really unique things. And then if they hear that, you know I had that problem with dating. I just wanted to talk about my business because I didn't want to get to know you, I just wanted you to be impressed by me because again, that loser trigger was activated right.
LostVirtually:
30:13
The loser trigger was activated so be impressed by me.
Rhonda Britten:
30:16
Don't love me, right, even though that's what I wanted, right? Can't be loved on your wheel of fear. Your wheel of fear will always reject it, so yeah.
Rhonda Britten:
30:24
So you started noticing your wheel of fear. You started noticing what I call the fear responses. So I want to say one thing before we continue is that if you think of there's nine areas of life you know health, business, you know your career, financial, emotional wellbeing, et cetera, intimate relationships, family you may be already naturally living on your wheel of freedom in some of those areas. Already you know where you're living and you're rocking and you're doing awesome. Right, you might be really awesome in your personal relationships. Well, you're already living on your wheel of freedom. You just don't know it right. But if you've got an area of your life that you're really rocking, you're already living in your wheel of freedom. It's the areas that I want you to be thinking about while we're talking today is the areas that aren't working for you. So is it your health? Is it your finances? Is it your career? Is it your personal relationship? Is it your family? Is it your friends, like where is it that's not working?
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
31:28
And what you're saying, mrs Killer Bee, and Mr Killer Bee, what I love is that you're starting to notice the subtleties of fear. Right, right, yeah, absolutely yeah, cause it's interesting and this is so timely for us, just that it's just amazing how God works, timing out, and this is so I and I know that a lot of people are going to get so much value out of what you're saying. So, yes, please continue.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
31:42
Yeah, it's really interesting too because, like, this was something that I was struggling with for a while I mean for a while and we continue to talk about it until driving down the road, it just it just came to her and she's like I think I know what's going on, let me just share this with you. I was like, yes, please do, cause I'm I can't figure it out, I don't know what this is. And when she said that, I'm like you're absolutely right, that's what that's. My problem is, I'm afraid of I don't know what they think of me. So, at the same time, I don't know what they think of me. So I'm trying to figure out how I want to make sure they like me, you know. So I'm like doing all this stuff out of fear and not really acknowledging. I never would have seen that as fear, yeah, but but yeah, it makes total sense, total sense.
Rhonda Britten:
32:21
And then when you start living on your wheel of freedom, now get it, gang. Our number one core need, all of our number one core need mine, yours, everybody here and everybody who knows number one core need is connection and belonging. So we all want to connect and belong, right, we all want to connect and belong. So that was your need, right? You needed to be connected and belong and because you didn't know it, you felt the space between the two of you. You didn't feel connected and belong and you just decided to put yourself out there more to be like is this going to make me feel connected and belong? Is this going to make them give me a sign they like me? They're not giving me signs. They like me yet. Wait a minute, where's the sign they like me? Wait, why aren't they selling me Like? Why aren't they doing complimenting me, saying you're amazing, or some sign?
Rhonda Britten:
33:03
So he was threatened. Let's just say, for the sake of the conversation, he was threatened because he didn't know where they stood. Well, when you don't know where somebody stand, that's you don't feel connected and belong, right? So your number one core need is missing. But there's other ways to handle that. One is, of course, internally and recognizing that you have all the space and time for them to feel connected and belong to you. Like you don't have to be in a hurry.
Rhonda Britten:
33:29
Right Because right, Because you're talking a lot. That means you want to know now like hey, is this, is this the dance you want me to take? Is this am?
Rhonda Britten:
33:36
I saying the right things, now Right. But if you are totally cool with them taking as long as they want and you being authentic because that's the only way you want them to like you right, that's the only way you want them to like you is being authentic Then you have all the time in the world, and so if they take six months, you're cool. Or if they never show you signs because that might be their fear that they never let people know what they think that might be, how their fear is, they keep everything close to the vest they may. Some people never compliment other people. Some people never say I really like you, no. Some people never say you're really impressive, they don't. So that person may never give you what you want.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
34:19
Oh, that's, I never even thought about it. From that side too, that's, that's really good. Oh yeah, I'm gonna bring it. We got some people for questions. I want to hear.
Deeenr:
34:26
Let's hear some questions definitely.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
34:28
Uh, this has been so awesome. I can't wait to continue. Let's go ahead and bring up uh lost, virtually lost, virtually. Come on down uh hello, how's everybody doing?
LostVirtually:
34:38
Good, how are you doing? We're glad you found yourself here. Good.
Rhonda Britten:
34:42
Yeah, exactly yeah.
LostVirtually:
34:45
So tell me about the wheel of fear and the wheel of freedom. When it came to COVID, oh yeah, I felt myself, you know, really kind of clinging to the wheel of freedom, because it's, you know, I think that I started clinging to it more and more because, for the first time in my life, people were trying to take that wheel away. So I knew that I and, and and people were flocking to the fear wheel in droves, and it was, it must've been, the time for, uh, mental health in the history of the country.
Rhonda Britten:
35:28
I just wonder what your thoughts were on that well, I love that question, thank you, you know, um covid was, and just any any um cultural phenomenon, any challenge on a national level or a world level is going to make us rethink our place in the world and make us rethink our values and make us rethink what do we really believe? So the COVID for some people it was the worst time of their life and for some people it was the best time of their life. You know, like my niece started, she would have never homeschooled, right, she would have never homeschooled. She's homeschooling now and she loves it and they have such a simpler life, more balanced life. I mean, again, she would have never done it in a million hundred years, but because she was forced to, in the sense of you know, I don't want my kids to do this online school anymore. She was like I and her mother's a teacher, my sister's a teacher, so she's like I'm just going to start doing it and their life is so much more pleasant now, easier now, joyous now. So for my niece, rachel, covid gave her a different life than she ever imagined and it's a happier, more peaceful life. Other people got from like they didn't have to go into the office and they realized I like working from home. And then other people were like I hate working from home. So it made all of us really really think about what we need and what really supports us.
Rhonda Britten:
36:56
So these times in our lives that are very difficult are opportunities for us to investigate what works for us and what doesn't, what is aligned with our values. And oh, by the way, maybe your values aren't what you think they are, maybe what you think you're committed to isn't really what you're committed to. Because I know for me, I was I always say that my favorite color was green. And I realized, when I was moving through my own transition and my own transformation, my color favorite color was green, because my kindergarten boyfriend's favorite color was green. I never chose that. So I, yeah, and my favorite food was Mexican, because my ex-husband's favorite food was Mexican. I mean I, and if you would have asked me that, I would have been like no, my favorite color is green and Mexican, right, but no, it wasn't. And so sometimes our values are even handed to us by people in our life and we think we've accepted them, but we haven't. We don't even, we haven't explored them, we don't even know if those are true for us, right?
Rhonda Britten:
37:52
I would say, like the value of integrity. I'll just use that for, for an example, the integrity. Let's say everybody can agree, right, give me some confetti. If integrity is a great value, right? Like I think we could all. Oh yeah, that's a great value. If somebody told you you have integrity, you'd be like, oh yeah, oh yeah, I'm amazing, I'm amazing, right, like you would say that.
Rhonda Britten:
38:17
So let me give you the difference between the integrity value on the wheel of fear and on the wheel of freedom. On the wheel of fear, integrity can look like rigidity, closed-mindedness. I said I was going to do it and gosh darn, I'm going to do it no matter what, right? Even though now it doesn't align with you, right? So when you have integrity and you are living that integrity through the lens of your wheel of fear, you're probably rigid and closed-minded and live literally by. I said it and therefore I'm going to do it, even though it's killing you, even though it doesn't serve you, even though it's maybe hurting others. You said you were going to do it, so darn it, you're going to, right. So integrity values in and of themselves must be filtered through the wheel of fear, will of freedom.
Rhonda Britten:
38:58
So now, what about integrity on the wheel of freedom? Ok, let's say you're going to like I promise I was going to do this. I, okay. Let's say you're gonna like I promised I was gonna do this. I'm gonna do this. But let's say somebody dies. Or let's say something happens like you're having a health challenge. Or let's say that you're realizing that this project isn't really what you wanna do. You thought you did. When you said I'm gonna do it, you really thought you're gonna do it. But you realize this doesn't really serve me. This isn't. This doesn't really serve me. This isn't. This isn't what I thought it was going to feel like or be like. I want to change my mind. I want to renegotiate right. So when you're on the wheel of freedom, you can renegotiate. On the wheel of fear, with integrity, you can't renegotiate. So values in and of themselves must be based in freedom.
Yvonne:
39:40
Wow. So, much to think about oh my gosh.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
39:44
I can't wait to get your book because I want to dive into this and we can't have you for long enough, sadly.
Rhonda Britten:
39:50
Can you stay for four hours, maybe? Yeah, I can stay for a hundred hours three days. I have time for five days in a row once, so I can do it, oh my goodness. You'll get a headache.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
40:03
before that happens, give me some water.
Rhonda Britten:
40:06
Rhonda, you know a couple before that happens.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
40:07
Yeah, give me some water. Give me some water, ronda. You know the a couple things you said earlier and I'm gonna bring up a couple people to have some questions and thoughts. I want to bring them up here in a second. One of the things that you mentioned earlier which really actually had it written down so I'm so glad that you mentioned it, because I wrote down is perfectionism perfect and perfectionism and people pleasing are those signs of fear.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
40:29
So why help me understand it? Because I think that's when I started thinking about that. That's probably something that I've had. A lot of people that will say they're perfectionism and they it's almost like a badge of honor. Yes, it is. I'm like, okay, that could be a problem too, could it be a?
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
40:42
sign of a fear and also same thing with when it comes to people'm like okay, that could be a problem too. Could it be a sign of a fear? And also same thing with when it comes to people pleasing, like I know, mrs Could be. We've talked about that before that you know it's easy to fall Like that would be something that you would fall naturally fall into with people pleasing sometimes and we learned it was bad for you because you were saying yes to everything but not saying yes to the important things. So you were saying yes to everything but not saying yes to the important things. So talk to us a little bit about that and then we'll bring up the other two people for their questions.
Rhonda Britten:
41:09
Yeah, so let's talk about perfectionism for a minute. Now, everybody in here, I bet, considers themselves perhaps artistic, creative, open-minded, right? I mean, you're in the metaverse, come on now, people, everybody doesn't hang out here right, like you're unique.
Rhonda Britten:
41:24
Everybody here is creative. You're probably visionaries. You probably have a unique way to live in the world. I mean, you wouldn't be in the metaverse if you weren't like that. So you already have this unique quality.
Rhonda Britten:
41:36
Well, perfectionism for unique qualities, for visionaries, for creatives, keep you actually stuck, because you never ship, you never deliver, you never put things out Because, again, that fear of rejection, that fear of judgment, that fear of what if somebody doesn't like it, and oh, by the way, I've got to make it perfect. But really, what creativity is? If you think of all the masters of creativity, they put art out and you know what? It's not perfect. And what do we do when we go to a museum? We look at the art and we go oh, look at that stroke that's different than the others.
Rhonda Britten:
42:07
Oh, why did he use that color? Why did she use that color? That's unusual, right? So it's trying to express your perfectionism needs to be instead more. I'm committed to my authenticity and expressing myself, rather than perfection based on some rules I have in my head that don't apply to the way that I actually want to express myself. So, perfectionists I have a lot of perfectionists in my life and perfectionists what I give them. And if you're, how many people are the perfectionists in the room? Come on, admit it.
Deeenr:
42:36
Admit it Because I'm going to give you an assignment that's going to kill you.
Rhonda Britten:
42:38
I'm going to. It's going to. It's going to be like no, Rhonda, no, I'm not doing it. Okay, so this is what I tell perfectionists you must get your project to 80%. Okay, just hold your heart for a minute, take a deep breath before I announce the next thing Deep breath, deep breath, oh, deep breath, deep breath. When you get your project to 80% complete, you must ship it. You must turn it in, you must let it go it. You must ship it. You must turn it in, you must let it go. It is ready for the world. Trust me, your 20% not done is everybody else's. 1%, like your 80% is literally 99 for everybody else. So the more that you put yourself out there, you're actually going to learn a lot more about your artistry, your creativity, your visionary, the way you vision the world. You're going to actually get a lot of feedback and support and it's going to be amazing for you.
Rhonda Britten:
43:33
Now, so, and again, we're afraid of judgment. Right, so it goes back to that judgment. People, pleasing what's our core need Belonging and connection. So we want people to like us. But here's a question for you. This is what I wrote in my book Fearless Loving Are you willing to love yourself more, appreciate yourself more, respect yourself more than be loved, adored, respected or admired by another? Yeah, right, right, because when you're people pleasing, you're actually saying their opinion of you matters more than your opinion of you, that their approval and their love for you is more important than you having self-respect of you, having your own sense of self, expressing your authenticity. Now, does this mean when you're going to go to thanksgiving, you're going to say everything to everybody all the time? No, you know. No, no, you're not going to do that either, right, you're? You're gonna, like.
Rhonda Britten:
44:22
I go to my family's house and my family a lot of family members don't think like I do. I don't sit there and tell them everything. I think I don't tell them everything I do. I talk about things like the weather and, you know, the Turkey, and if they ask me about my projects, I share, but I don't go there and go. I'm going to have them see me. No, because you know what my job is to see myself without anybody else having to see me. See yourself rather than anybody else needing to see you.
Rhonda Britten:
44:50
And oh, by the way, we all need validation. I mean, I need valid. Anybody need validation. I know I do, I need it, right, I need it. I need validation. But you know how I get it.
Rhonda Britten:
45:00
I call my best friend. She knows I need validation. I hey, marta, best friend, would you tell me how amazing I am? And I'm not kidding, I call her and say that to me. I ask her to tell me, tell me I'm amazing. Would you please remind me why I coach? Because today I feel like a doo-doo crap, like I don't feel like I gave anybody good value today. Would you remind me that I'm a good coach? And she goes Rhonda, remember the time, remember the time. And I'm like oh yeah, I, I do remember the time, thanks, right, so we have to ask for it. Like, be your own, be each other's cheerleaders. So when Mrs Killer B is needing validation from somebody else, go and ask your husband. Honey, can you remind me that I'm a good person? Could you remind me that I'm kind? Can you remind me that I am a shining light and his job is to go? Honey, you are shining light and you shine so bright, man, you're blinding me sometimes. You're so amazing.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
45:47
I'm going to steal that one that's on your next anniversary card, baby.
Rhonda Britten:
45:50
Yeah.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
45:51
I love it.
Rhonda Britten:
45:52
And, sadly, some of us feel like we don't have anybody to ask for that. And that's where coaches, therapists, peer groups, you know support groups, you know this group right here, right, I mean, if you need to be told you're amazing, come on up and let me help you, let me tell you how amazing?
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
46:08
Exactly yes.
Rhonda Britten:
46:11
Because this is where these things we need to get this. We need to know that we're not crazy or stupid or foolish or failures, and the only way we're going to tell it. We can tell ourselves that all day long, but sometimes we need to hear it from somebody who knows us, or even a stranger tell us, right, yeah because sometimes, you know, mrs killer b didn't really like it, though, when I sent her my invoice for coaching.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
46:35
You know what you know, and if I was mrs killer b, you know what I would do.
Rhonda Britten:
46:38
I'd put a big red, heart red. I put lipstick on red lipstick and kiss it and go paid in full you have so many great ideas.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
46:47
I'm going to put you on speed dial okay.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
46:50
Let's bring up Eli. Eli is back on the board, eli, come on up to the hexagon. There we go. Welcome to the Killer Bee Studios, eli.
Rhonda Britten:
46:58
Hi Eli.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
46:59
Yeah, we hear you.
Rhonda Britten:
47:00
You having a good day so far? Yeah, it's awesome to be with you. It's awesome to be with you. It's awesome to be with you. I was just wondering. So earlier you talked about how you had the traumatic experience and how you got through all of that.
Yvonne:
47:12
I was just wondering, like what is one thing, or like the main thing, that kept you going through that trauma, or if there is anything, yeah I'll tell you that's a great question.
Rhonda Britten:
47:22
So one of the things is, you know, I tried to kill myself three times because I didn't want to get through it, right. And that third suicide attempt, when I didn't die, I, I, I literally said to myself there must be a reason I'm here. There must be a reason I'm here. And I've had other.
Rhonda Britten:
47:38
I'm sure many of us have had horrible things happen to us as adults, not just children, right. And so now when I go through something horrible and I feel like I'm crawling through glass because I don't know about you, but when I'm going through a trauma or going through a tough time, I feel like I'm crawling through glass, I feel like I'm eating glass. Eli, does that relate to you? Like, you're just like eating glass, crawling through glass, right, yeah, and so what I remind myself is is that this moment in time is why I was born, for me to learn what I need to learn in order to grow, how I need to grow, so soul can use me, so God can use me, so spirit can use me fully and completely. Because if I believe in divine timing, if I believe that I'm here for a reason, if I believe that I was brought down to earth for some greater mission, then this must be part of it too beautiful thank you, thank you Wow.
Deeenr:
48:23
Beautiful, thank you.
Rhonda Britten:
48:24
Thank you Great, let's bring down.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
48:27
Yvonne, yvonne, come on down, come on Yvonne.
Yvonne:
48:31
All right, ok, so, similar to Eli's question, if you could give your younger self advice in one sentence, what would it be?
Rhonda Britten:
48:42
There's nothing wrong with you, it's just fear. It's not you, it's fear. There's nothing wrong with you, it's just fear. It's not you, it's fear. And that is what I tell people. If I could say you know, people ask me all the time what's the one message you want to give to the world. If you could only say one thing for the rest of your life. I always say there is nothing wrong with you, there is nothing wrong with you, it is just fear.
Rhonda Britten:
49:03
And fear has interpreted the events of your life, has interpreted your self-talk, has interpreted what people have shared with you or said to you, the experiences in your life, in a way that depletes you, disempowers you, makes you feel less than who you really are, and we, because of our neurobiology, have gone to believe it. But we can decide. You know what I'm going to believe, Rhonda, like that's the thing it's, like you guys don't have to believe me. Right about the will of fear and will of freedom. But why not? Why not? Right like you can either continue to believe like something's wrong with you and ronda doesn't know me, she's different than me, this isn't going to work for me, or what if I'm right? What if I'm right? Call me crazy. Right like what if I'm right? What if? If I'm right, call me crazy right, like what if I'm right. What if? If you understood your wheel of fear and wheel of freedom, that you understood yourself better and you were able to pass through, forgive and let go the regrets of your life and give yourself full permission to step into your full power, to step in the radiant glory of who you are.
Rhonda Britten:
50:05
And, as I say, our motto in Fearless Living is live the life your soul intended. You're here to live the life your soul intended, not your fear intended, not your smallness intended, not your suckness, not your parents intended, not your grandparents intended, not your boyfriend or girlfriend or partner, intended for your soul, for your soul's intention. And so everything that comes through us and to us is for that evolution of us becoming who we're really meant to be. And that takes great courage, by the way, and that's why we come together in groups, right? Because we need each other to remind us.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
50:41
That's beautiful. That's so, so true. I've got a couple questions I want to ask you, Rhonda, before we wrap up too, and one of them is, I think, like when I was, when I was putting together event and I was like, okay, I'm going to call this fearless living, I think, because we're meeting with you, I was like that just makes sense with what we need to talk about. But some might say that living fiercely is it means living recklessly. Can you help define the difference in that?
Rhonda Britten:
51:08
Yeah. So fearless living isn't about jumping out of a plane and it's not about not having fear. Fearless living is about having the courage and willingness, actually the willingness, to jump into your life fully and completely. So there was the Buddhists, you know, talk about being fearless.
Rhonda Britten:
51:25
But also a woman, and I'm forgetting her name right now. She wrote, dying to be me, I think and she, she had cancer riddled through her body. She was completely riddled with cancer and she was in surgery. They were trying to come open her up to see what they could take out and if they could help her. And when they opened her up, they found her riddled with cancer and they just shut her up again because there was no way they could get that cancer out, there was no way they could save her. And so during that time she died and she came back. She had a near-death experience and I don't know if you guys believe in those, but I got to tell you sometimes those give me great solace. And so she woke up right and, by the way, within I want to say a month or two, she was completely cured, not by the doctor, but by what she experienced in the near-death experience and what God told her in the near-death experiences go and be fearless. That's what God told her to go and be, wow, so be fearless.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
52:26
That is amazing.
Rhonda Britten:
52:28
Right, I think that is amazing. And so you know I know some people think it's fear hyphen less like fearless, but it's like no, you're fearless every day that you wake up. You're already fearless, Waking up every morning, facing the world, loving the world, growing through the world.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
52:45
We're all fearless, we just don't give ourselves credit for it. Oh so good man, I'm so glad I did not skip that question. I almost skipped that question I was like, man, I think I'm really going to ask this. It was so good, yeah, so glad. One more question, but before we get there, can you? I want to again thank you so much for coming out here, because man, man this is my God.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
53:04
I said we keep this thing going, but I want to thank you for you know being fearless and stepping in the metaverse and coming to see what this is about. I love that you did that. Where can people find your book and how can they best connect with you?
Rhonda Britten:
53:18
I want to make sure I ask that.
Rhonda Britten:
53:20
OK? Well, this is really important because I want to give you all a free class, and it's called stretch risk or die, right? So as we start shifting our lives, we've got to stretch risk or die, or it's going to feel like we're going to die. And it actually is one of my number one tools my clients and students love. And so you're going to go to fearlesslivingorg forward slash risk R-I-S-K. Fearlesslivingorg forward. Slash risk R-I-S-K. Fearlesslivingorg forward. Slash risk R-I-S-K. You're going to put your name and email in there and you're going to be entered into the platform and you're going to get access to this class.
Rhonda Britten:
53:53
It's 45 minutes, gang. 45 minutes three 15 minute videos. And what's really cool is at the end of the three videos the third video I actually go through the wheel of fear. So you're going to see me draw the wheel of fear. You're going to see my wheel of fear in motion. I'm going to show you how it works. So go in there, get the course. And, by the way, this cures procrastination. So if you have a goal or a project, a dream that you want to fulfill, stretch risk and die is the number one tools my students and clients use to get there. So it's got templates. It's got worksheets.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
54:33
It's got videos, it's got everything you need Super, super super simple, less than an hour of your time, so go in fearlesslivingorg forward.
Deeenr:
54:37
Slash risk R-I-S-K.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
54:37
Thank you so much. That was awesome. And you guys, I'll make sure. If you guys don't remember that, let me know. We'll send it to you. You can send it, ask me, send us a message on Instagram, ask us in here. We'll make sure you get it. And anybody listening to the podcast replay you'll be able to get it in the show notes. Just look in the show notes. We'll put that link in there. But wow, thank you so much, Rhonda. I can't wait to go through that and check that out. That's, that's a huge, that's a huge gift. Thank you so much.
Rhonda Britten:
54:59
You're welcome, and at books and my classes and everything else about me too much a lot of stuff about me is that where we connect with you too, like social media.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
55:08
You probably have your social media links on social media is at ronda britain.
Rhonda Britten:
55:12
All social media is at ronda britain, r-h-o-n-d-a, britain, b-r-i-t-t-e and britain, the ronda britain hat ronda awesome awesome, wow.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
55:22
Well, thank you so much, ronda. Mrs Killerbee, do you have anything? Before I ask this last question?
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
55:26
No, last question Okay, all right.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
55:29
Last question. All right, drum roll. I mean. I hope it's a really good question, but now the pressure's on, but I'm going to approach it furiously. All right For someone anybody that's watching or listening to the podcast later who knows fears like right now, like their fears of the door. It's holding them back and they're acknowledging that, they're realizing that. What's one small step that you would tell them to take to help them start moving forward tomorrow or today?
Rhonda Britten:
55:57
Well, first of all, go and get that course, because that's going to help them right away. So that's the first step. The other thing is just to be willing to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for your past, because that's usually what's keeping the chains in place. What's usually keeping the prison in place is our unwillingness to forgive ourselves, like we should have done it different, we should have done it better. You know, oh, my God, I can't. You know, I should have done it different, different, better, better, et cetera. So we keep on punishing ourselves. So, if you can do one thing today, just one thing today, just look in the mirror. If you're willing and say I'm willing to forgive myself, I am innocent and it's not me, it's just fear, it's not me, this isn't my, this isn't me, this is fear, and I choose to live my fearless life. So I forgive myself for anything. Up until this moment and beyond, I did nothing wrong. It was fear.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
56:51
If you enjoyed this episode don't forget to follow this podcast and leave us a review Again.
Brian (Mr.KillerB):
56:56
Thank you so much, Rhonda oh my pleasure. Join us. This is awesome, this is fun.
Rhonda Britten:
57:02
This is a fearless act for me. By the way, this is a fearless act for me. I was texting Brian going I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing and before we came here I got lost in the metaverse. They had to come and find me. I was like, oh no, no, no, no, so just being here is fearless.
Shawna (Mrs.KillerB):
57:18
Yeah, I came last night.
Rhonda Britten:
57:20
I was at a concert last night. I was like I'm going to.
