Swell AI Transcript: kiralei-celestino-postproduction-for-recording-1-run-at-2024-04-19-171101-utc-wa.mp4
Caryn: Celestino. No. Kirelei, Celestino. Yeah, perfect. Yes. Okay. Okay. So I'm going to stop the recording just because I want to go over format and stuff. And this is boring stuff that no one's going to want to hear. Okay. Welcome back to the Rise, Shine, and Redefine podcast. We're going to dive into stories of personal growth, transformational experience, and the pivotal moments that shape us. I am here today with Kira Lay, Celestino. She has redefined the meaning of empowerment, transformation in lives. She's a former Air Force consultant, a light worker, which is new for her to admit, and the creator of the Transformation Box. It's a tool designed to help people address what's holding them back. Welcome to the show. Thank you.
Kiralei: How are you today? I'm so great. So excited to be here.
Caryn: I'm so happy to have you here. Tell me a little bit about your story. Okay. Yeah.
Kiralei: Sure. I was born and raised in Hawaii. So let's just say that I've left a lot of things, left a culture that was familiar to me for, you know, the more understood American culture. And I let go of my Hawaiian pigeon and started speaking TV English, is what we call it. I've also left a religion, not with a not with any kind of meanness or anger, but just because love became so much bigger than what I was. Um, yeah, I felt, I felt restricted from sending love to absolutely everyone. Um, but there's still an affinity towards that. And I spent nine years with the air force. I was an air force civilian. Um, and, I, I loved my team so much, like they were my family, and I've left that. So if, if you're in the kind of place where you're in a place of transition, I've done it in some pretty big ways for myself and found some ways to navigate that. So absolute love for business, absolute love for complex systems and organizations, but also recognizing that all of those complexities are in us as individuals. And my absolute passion is working with people to let go of some anchors that are holding them back, almost like they're in speed training, but you can't run with weights behind you all the time. You've got to let them go so that you can go fast. And that's what I love doing so much.
Caryn: Amazing. I'm so excited you're here because I'm in transition. I left a 20-year 9-to-5 job and trying to do the personal development thing and it's a really big shift and it's really hard and it's a lot of spaghetti on the wall. So I'm just really excited you're here and maybe you can help me with some of this transition because It's a roller coaster. Some days there's a lot of momentum and some days it feels like complete defeat. You know, I've been out of my nine to five for a year now and I have made progress on personal growth, but as far as like business and income, I have not. So it's been a little bit of a struggle for me. And I know that you've created something called the Transformation Box. And I'm really excited about this because I feel like this probably could really help me, especially in my situation of trying to figure out what my blocks are to up-level my life and get to this next level and maybe figure out what is holding me back and maybe how I can use some of these blocks as a stepping stone to really get to the desired goals and the desired outcomes that I'm looking for, not just income, but like abundance. and freedom, right? I think we're all chasing this deeper desire of belonging, worthiness, love, freedom, being in control of your own life, safety. So I'm just really excited to hear how this tool works. And if you want to share a little bit about it and bring me through it, I am ready for you.
Kiralei: Do you mind if we do the opposite? Do you mind if I demonstrate it and then we talk about it?
Caryn: Yeah, let's do it. Whatever or however it works. Are you game? Okay. Okay. Okay, let me ground myself here. Put some feet on the ground.
Kiralei: Sure. And as you ground, I mean, do you want like a quick little meditation? So fast.
Caryn: Yeah, let's do like less than a minute.
Kiralei: Let's go. Okay. Oh, absolutely. So imagine energy at your core, and you send that down, down, down into the earth. You share a piece of yourself with the earth, The earth shares some grounding earth energy up with you. You bring that up, up, up to your core, and it is now a part of you. Now take a new piece of yourself at your core, send it up, up, up into the universe, and you share yourself with the sky, with the universe, and the sky and universe shares a piece of itself back with you. You bring that down, down, down. back to your center and that's a part of you. Imagine your aura and very quickly with the energy of your own hand, if you see any breaks or tears or holes, you can easily seal that back up. Caring for what's behind you, caring for what's above you and below you very quickly. Allow the top of your aura to open up because there's a sun above you and it drips solar juices into your aura and fills it in four big drips. One, two, three, four, a fifth drip coats the outside of your aura and into these nice solar juices. You allow to dislodge everything that has been just kind of sticky, but you don't need it anymore because the top of your aura closes and the bottom of your aura opens and foomp! everything falls down into the earth and the earth knows what to do with it. Very gently you shift and allow anything to just let go. Bottom of your aura closes and you quietly return.
Caryn: That was so beautiful and so fast and I just want to share like to integrate the universe with the grounding and integrating it into my body. I want anybody who's listening, if they ever need a quick minute to just kind of get present and get back to where they are, re-listen to that over and over again. I'll try to clip it. I'll try to clip it and put it in the show notes for just a little meditation for you guys if you need it.
Kiralei: Fun, because now you're going to work. Yes. OK. What I'm going to do is I will ask you two questions. The design of these two questions is to bring to your mind something that's just ready to change for the better. But at the beginning and at the end, you do not have to tell me what comes to mind, so you keep all your private stuff private, okay? All throughout, you can ask any question you want, and during the process, your eyes can be open, your eyes can be closed, it is irrelevant. Any questions? Nope. Let's go. So I don't have to talk. I just have to ask questions. You do have to talk, but in these two questions, you don't have to tell me what it is. You don't have to describe it. Okay. So question one, is there an ambition, something that every time you reach for it, there's a recurring block or obstacle or question two, is there something from the past you've already dealt with it mentally, spiritually, emotionally, you do notice that similar things arrive in life. So for question one or question two, does something come to mind? Question one. Okay. The job of that thing that came to mind is to point to somewhere in your energy field or your body. Uh, so as you think about the thing for question one, um, what comes to your awareness first? Does your awareness go to your ear or your knee?
Caryn: Oh, no, straight to my gut, straight to the belly.
Kiralei: As sure as you pay attention to your gut. So we want to see what the body sensation is. Do you feel a pressure or a temperature? And the only reason I'm asking this is for before and after.
Caryn: Yeah, it feels excuse me, it feels a little warm. Um, I would describe it not as, okay, let me, I've been working on somatic work, so I'm really trying to get present with the sensation in my body. It's definitely warm. I do notice a little bit of like my heart rate increasing also.
Kiralei: Would you say that you would remember the sensation, the warmth and your, the speed of your heart rate?
Caryn: Oh, it's like a, like every day of my life.
Kiralei: Oh, okay. Well, let's, let's say this. I don't want you to anchor to it. So let's just say, yeah, I know this warmth in my belly and I know this heart rate. So we'll just say that's before. Okay. Uh, the next thing we're going to do is we're going to decouple the situation that arose for question one. We're going to decouple it from this sensation that you're feeling. because these two things show up together in life, but they're not actually the same. So we're going to set aside the situation for the rest of this. We're going to pay attention just to the energy. And I promise we'll come back to the situation at the end. So now imagine a box in front of you. It can be any kind of box. It's just helpful. If it's see-through, the reason is that you're not going to lock anything away. You're not going to banish anything. We just want to give you a safe way to observe the energy. So allow that sensation to be in the box. If it could be visual, it'll show you what it wants to look like.
Caryn: It's purple. Okay.
Kiralei: Yeah. Great. Um, so you, you easily saw that, uh, what I, what I'm curious about, because I don't know if the energy in the box could change to be more supportive for you. Are you okay with that? Yeah. Okay, so pay attention to what's in the box, snap your fingers, and what's in the box may or may not change. What's in the box?
Caryn: It's like a white furry thing. Okay.
Kiralei: As you observe that, what is your reaction? And when I say reaction, it's kind of like when you watch a documentary, as they present different things, you might react differently. So as you observe the white furry thing. It made me laugh. What's your reaction? Sure. Yeah. Okay.
Caryn: So laughter. And it has sparkles on it. Okay.
Kiralei: I love I love when they make us laugh. But I have a question for you. And I don't know the answer. There's no correct answer. Are you comfortable with the combination of what you see in the box and what you your reaction what you sense? Or are you curious whether it could be even more supportive?
Caryn: Oh, I'm curious if it could be even more supportive. Yeah.
Kiralei: Okay. So we're going to repeat a few steps. You're going to observe what's in the box, snap your fingers, and what's in the box may or may not change. What's in the box?
Caryn: It's like a black circle.
Kiralei: Okay. As you observe that, what is your reaction? Confusion. Okay, so there are three things I want to let you know about your energy. One, your energy loves you. Two, your energy is so, so smart. We know that our energy absorbs more information than we cognitively process. But three, your energy knows the best direction for you. So the first two, you want both, because if you have smart energy that doesn't love you, you might not trust it. But if you have energy that loves you and isn't smart, you would say, that's cute, but I don't trust it. So you want both and your energy is both, but three, your energy knows the best direction for you. So it does not want to pull you along. It wants you to participate. And what we're doing in this practice is we're giving you an opportunity to witness your energy because sometimes things happen in life and we just need to lock that energy away so we can live just a little bit. But sometimes we get really comfortable not looking at it. So it gets bigger for some attention like children sometimes. Uh, and then either we get better at ignoring it or we control it. So then we do this dance where it gets bigger, we get better, it gets bigger, we get better. And then we just really have to address it. What we're doing in this process is allowing the energy to be creative and say, I've wanted you to witness this. And now that I know that you're witnessing, I'm going to show you a bunch of things. So very important to know your energy loves you. And is so smart and knows the best way for you. So everything that comes up just needs to be witnessed, but it wants you to check in. Okay. Because if you don't check in, if you see it, but you don't check in with yourself, it's not tricked and it won't change. Questions. Does that make sense?
Caryn: It does. I don't know if this is a question or an intuitive hit, but one thing that came up for me during this is that, okay, my energy is purple. And, okay, this is what I'm sitting with now. And that's okay. Purple loves me. My energy loves me. And then snapping my fingers and seeing this furry sparkly ball thing, it was this intuitive hit like, hey, you can have another kind of energy. You are separate. You are not your mind. I'm here to tell you there's still laughter in the process that you're going through. You can always come back to whatever energy that is alive for you in that moment, but you have the opportunity to choose. And instead of being in this loop of purple, purple, purple, purple, now I can be in the loop of purple sparkly thing, purple sparkly thing, and remind myself I get to choose that I get to live this way. And then with the third, with the black, it wasn't, you know, at first I was like, why am I seeing black? Like, why is there darkness? Which made me think confusion. But, but, but there's polarity. There's like, you need the dark to see the light. And if like, I don't have the struggle of creating this business and going into coaching, like I'm not gonna find the joy in doing it when it does have the joy and it has a happiness and it has the income that makes me feel good. And I can really, really appreciate myself and love myself and be on the journey of the purple sparkly thing and the black and feeling all of this energy. And I'm so happy you said it loves me because sometimes I don't know if it does. So anyway, this was just a very like intuitive hit for me. Like I get to choose how my energy shows up in a snap.
Kiralei: And I love that. And I'm glad we had this conversation because I don't I don't usually try to interrupt the process this much. But like you said, intuitive hit. So one one last thing to know as you're going through this process is a How do I put it? A artificial ceiling. Once we know that we can interact this way, sometimes we put a ceiling on what it can do. So we now start saying to the energy, next time I snap my fingers, I want you to be this. And that gives it an artificial ceiling, because our energy is so smart, it could really just be so much better. So in the next round, well, assuming, are you comfortable? Or are you curious whether the energy could be more supportive?
Caryn: Oh, I'm always going to be curious and want as much support as possible.
Kiralei: Sure. So something I've observed with other people is that even if they were very curious and they could maybe do these like three rounds and what's in the box doesn't change, their reaction doesn't change, what I've come to understand is that the energy was saying, no, I promise you this is the best for you. So you can be curious all you want. If you're even a tiny bit curious, we'll continue. But as we continue, I invite you to just let the energy be creative instead of saying, I know what you need to be, because our energy is smarter than us. Are you ready?
Caryn: I'm ready.
Kiralei: Okay. Observe what's in the box, snap your fingers, and what's in the box may or may not change. What's in the box?
Caryn: I still see, I see all three things. Oh, okay, a change? Well, yeah, I guess, because now there's three things instead of one thing.
Kiralei: And what is your reaction?
Caryn: I feel… Help me put this into words, but almost like a warm hug. I feel like they got my back.
Kiralei: That's perfect. I don't need to help you. Okay. But here's my question. So now are you comfortable or are you curious? I'm curious. Keep going. So you know by now that you observe what's in the box, you snap your fingers and what's in the box may or may not change.
Caryn: What's in the box? A puppy. Okay.
Kiralei: And as you witness that, what is your reaction?
Caryn: Oh, gosh, just like love and cuteness and connection and hard work.
Kiralei: True. So comfortable or curious?
Caryn: Curious.
Kiralei: Let's continue. You know what to do. What's in the box?
Caryn: Like, like, lines of a rainbow? I don't know. Like, it's not really a rainbow. Yeah, it's like, it's like, like a red, a clear, an orange, a clear, a yellow, a clear, like rainbow, like a like an acrylic type, clear square.
Kiralei: It's very vivid. Yeah. Very vivid. What is your reaction?
Caryn: Happiness. It makes me happy to see all the colors.
Kiralei: Yeah. Comfortable or curious?
Caryn: Oh, curious, because I feel in my stomach, like, there's more curiosity there.
Kiralei: Okay. Let's see how creative your energy could be? What is the absolute best? You know what to do?
Caryn: I see fur, but not alive.
Kiralei: Okay, fur. And what is your reaction?
Caryn: cozy, warm, And that feels comfortable. It does instantly.
Kiralei: Cozy and warm. Okay, so you were never separated from your energy with the box. But to complete the visual, the box easily opens and that energy is reintegrated to you. At the beginning, you had a sensation in your gut. So as you pay attention there, what do you sense?
Caryn: I don't feel the warmth or the heat anymore. It feels- So a change? That neutralized, yeah. The sensation of excitement or anxiety, could be either one, is still kind of there, but the heat isn't there anymore. So it did change.
Kiralei: What about your heart rate?
Caryn: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't see there's a change there. Yeah, I don't. Thank you for bringing me back to that. I do. I forgot about that. I don't feel Yeah, like I don't feel like my heart is beating out of my chest anymore.
Kiralei: Okay. Yeah. So now think back, I asked two questions at the beginning. So question one, something came up for you. Now thinking about that situation that you still don't have to talk about or describe. Do you sense a change there as well? Now, it's not a change in it's not a change in facts. It's a change in roles, maybe your perception changes or ideas come to mind that you didn't have before.
Caryn: I want to talk about it because I think it's important. So I'm going to share where my ambition is. So my ambition is to create a really successful empowering coaching program for women and show up fully and be in our authentic selves and create and help create confidence and worthiness and love and create the highest potential that is possible for you. And when I say that out loud, it's like imposter before imposter syndrome comes up because I'm still a work in progress. I'm still trying to get there. I'm trying to be confident. I'm trying. empowered myself. I still have imposter syndrome all the time, even though, like, I might cry. I don't know what's happening right now. Why am I crying? Okay. And then, like, coming back to it, it was like this voice, when you asked it again, was like, no. Like those things are there, but you're just believing you're creating the belief about that thought. And you don't have to create that belief around about that thought. That's just a story. It's just a story. And you don't have to believe that story at all. And when we came back to the question, it was, you got this. Like that was the voice, you got this. And you write your own story and your own movie script and you are warm and you are cozy and you are colorful and you're allowed to be confused and you're allowed to be anxious and you're allowed to feel all these feelings to create and show up fully in your own life. Damn, that's empowering.
Kiralei: I mean, you better believe it. Like I that is. Yeah. And and you you if you had never disconnected the energy from the sensation. this could have taken longer, because you would have gone back and forth between, I need to care for the way I'm sensing or feeling, or no, I need to deal with what my mind is doing. But when we allow it to decouple, it's amazing. It's fast.
Caryn: Yeah, and I just want to share. So in my coaching program, we're learning somatic work right now. So it's really fully accepting. So it takes 90 seconds for an emotion to move through you. The problem is we feel the emotion or we feel it in our body. Then we think about it. Then we feel it and we think about it. So we're in the loop. We're in the loop of feeling it, thinking about it. So we're in our head all the time and we don't drop into our body. And when we don't drop into our body, we can't let it move through us and allow for it. And when we can get to the place of acceptance, then we can really, you know, shoot for the stars. But otherwise, we're on the hamster wheel of either chasing the feeling or resisting the feeling. So if it's something we want, we're chasing it. And if it's or the feeling we want, we fell in love when we first met our spouse, we're chasing that feeling. Well, now we're in the loop. And then we're resisting when they're trying to be cute and cuddly with us when they piss us off. We're resisting. So we're just in a loop. We're on the hamster wheel all the time. And so I don't even know if we're through this process yet, but this has been- We are. What?
Kiralei: Are we? We are. We're done. Yeah. Okay.
Caryn: This is my insights. I don't know if this is what it was supposed to do or not. But this is really, really powerful stuff. You guys like, like your, your body and your energy and your mind is so powerful. You just have to allow it to be and accept it to be and accept what is. As Byron Katie says, is you can argue with reality, but you will lose 100% of the time. So change your lens and trust yourself, trust your energy. Okay, that's my insight, but share.
Kiralei: Yeah, that's, um, that is this process. So you've, you've experienced all of it. All it's designed to do is witness your energy. So if, if all you've done is see your energy, because we can live life and witness the energy over time as circumstances, circumstances, kind of draws to, oh, that's what that looks like. But what you're actually doing is witnessing it, it's showing you what it wants to look like, you're witnessing it, and you're checking in with yourself. So that's a complete cycle. So now you don't have to live it in however long it would have taken you. Um,
Caryn: Oh yeah, I'm going to build my Caryn Mininger brand, like, right now. When we get off this call, you guys all better start, like, getting all the magical nuggets. And follow KiraLate too, because she's got so many words of wisdom. Okay, I keep interrupting because I'm so excited about this. Okay.
Kiralei: No, yeah, it's perfect. So this is what I would call an introduction if someone wanted to think differently about their transformation. I heard that you left the job of 20-ish years. And I have a question for you, and I don't know if you allow that. Oh, yeah, go for it. Because one of the things that I've been working through leaving my Air Force job is all of the habits that I had, like daily habits, meditations, um, journaling, you know, just kind of general self-care going for a run. Like I, because I was trying to not be in that job anymore because just the pace of it and the way my mind needed to hyper focus, I needed it to relax out. So all of my habits stopped because I had attached all of those things to that persona. So, so to say, What are you going through trying to make the shift from nine to five job to entrepreneur? Have you needed to realize that some of those very good habits were not related to the old life?
Caryn: Wow. Holy shit. Yeah. Yeah, because I woke up at 6 a.m. every morning, exercised, took my kid to school, went to work, came home and disconnected. That was my day. Every day. That was my hamster wheel. Now I'm working from home. I do not get up at 6 a.m. all the time, maybe once a week. I don't work out as much as I was. I'm not meditating as much as I was. And I never put it together that that anchored, is that the right word? Anchored my 9 to 5. recognizing I'm not doing the things I was doing before and putting it in my calendar and scheduling it and giving myself bite-size commitments so I can trust myself. Instead of working out five days a week, I'm like, I'm going to get two to three times a week this week or that's going to be my norm. Then it's more doable and then I start trusting myself because I'm recommitting to myself. you are right. It's weird. I thought I was going to have so much free time being home to do all the things. I was like, I'm not worried. I'm going to still work out. I'm going to meditate. I have all this time. My kid's in kindergarten now, so he's at school, so I can get everything done. Let me tell you, nine to three goes by so fast. I like what I'm doing, so it goes really fast. Then I feel if I'm working out, I'm not being efficient with building my business. And it's taking that time away from me. And if I meditate, it's taking time away from building my business. So I'm an Enneagram 3. And I know we haven't talked about Enneagrams much on this podcast, but what that means, it's a personality test. And what that means for me is I'm an achiever. And I need to keep achieving. And I need to keep grinding. And I need to keep doing and doing and doing and I forget to just be. I forget to do the dance. I forget to do the doobie doobie do dance. And You just brought so much awareness to how different my schedule is. Why did I stop doing those things? Because now I have even more time. If I'm working nine to five, I can still get up at six, work out, take my kid to school, meditate, do all the things I was doing before and start my day at nine.
Kiralei: I don't know. What you're telling me is you can't give me any advice. But what it also means, it also means that we're in the same place. It was just last week that someone pointed out to me that those good habits are not related to the old life. They did happen at the same time. And I'm like, Oh my goodness. So I can go running again. And I, and I can, you know, I can have, you know, what may look like, sound like a rigid practice, but something that really served me. even though, so it's like we want to take the old life and put it all into a big bucket and say, not me anymore, except some of those pieces I still want, so I can still have it. I don't know, part of the journey.
Caryn: Yeah, yeah. I think what I'm learning is small, so for advice, small bite-sized commitments to yourself that you can trust. If you want to journal, Pick a range. It's better to pick a range than like, I'm going to journal five days a week. Say I'm going to journal three to five times a week and I'm going to write for five minutes. That's doable. That's bite size. Now you start trusting yourself to do it. That's what I'm doing with exercising. I fell off the wagon and it's like, no. I was at five days a week, but I know that's a big commitment, but if I'm like, I'm going to work out twice this week, I'm going to get that done. And even if it's for 20 minutes, I'm going to get that done. And now I start trusting myself more. And when you start trusting yourself more, you do more and you have bigger commitments that you can that you can show up for. And this has been a big learning curve for me in 2024, is these bite-sized commitments and fully trusting yourself. Because if you don't trust yourself, nobody else is. Yeah. So show up for yourself. Show up for that energy. Show up for that purple, rainbow, black, fur, whatever puppy it is. And do it. Do it for all those parts of you. And then more opportunity is going to come. Because you're showing the universe, not to get so woo here, but you are showing the universe like, hey, I trust myself. I can do more. But when you start piling all the things on, like I do, and you do nothing. You procrastinate. It's too overwhelming. You're like, I can't. I'm one person. And that's the lens that you're looking at. You're looking at through this lens of, I can't, and that is the story you're telling yourself. I don't know who the quote is, but it's like, if you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you can't. Forgive me for not remembering who said it, but it's true. If you believe you can, you will. If you believe you can't, that is also true, you won't. Just keep that in mind. Whatever story you're telling yourself, that's the movie that you're going to put on your screen that's going to show up for you. Think of thoughts as like little clouds. They come and go. They come and go. They come and go. Now, when you start believing the thought, that's when you suffer. Because somebody you don't know could say, I don't like your shirt, and you could care less. It doesn't matter. But if somebody you love says, I don't like your shirt, that could hurt. Same reality. You're just believing that thought from your friend versus the person you don't know. But it's the same reality.
Kiralei: Yeah.
Caryn: Change the lens, change your thoughts, change your life, like Wayne Dyer says, right? Change your thoughts, change your life. Come drop into your body. Drop in. Let that sensation be there. Let it be allowed. And when you accept, when you accept all parts of you, all of them, now you can blossom. Now you can grow. Now you can show up. Now you can reach the goals and break through the glass ceiling that you've been looking through for years. But when you're believing the same story, you're the one suffering. It doesn't change the reality. Right? It doesn't change it. It's somebody wronged you. Somebody wronged you. You can be mad and you're human and you're emotion, but you being mad doesn't change how that person feels. So forgive yourself.
Kiralei: This and you, okay, I'm going to drop this in your lap. This is something, uh, I talked about with a group, um, what it may be two weeks ago. Um, the fact of love, like when, when someone does, Oh, okay. So love was the point, but we're talking about vibrational match right now. Let's say you got road rage things coming up. Someone doesn't use their blinker, does use their blinker, but they just cut in front of you really fast. They did what they did and that what their choices have actually nothing to do with you and everything to do with whatever's going on in their life. But your reaction has everything to do with you. So I could slam on my horn or I could, you know, get, you know, be the one to go in front and then break check them. My reaction has everything to do with me. People can do whatever it is that they're going to do. My reaction doesn't tell me anything about them. My reaction shows me something about me. And that has been kind of crazy.
Caryn: Yeah, I love that. This is like one of my favorite analogies is the asshole that cuts you off, right? Because it's like if you're having a really good day and somebody cuts you off, you might not care. You'll be like, okay. But if you're having a really bad day and somebody cuts you off, oh, that anger, that frustration. And most people I mean, I think in our space they do, but don't understand that their reaction is a projection of themselves. And it's very easy to blame somebody else for the way you feel, but nobody can make you feel a certain way. You choose to feel the way that you want to feel. You get to choose. And we can go deep dive into triggers. Yeah. It's all because of something in the past, right?
Kiralei: And it's all because of us. And in what, yeah, in what we hear in media or in our family systems, we've been trained to say, I have triggers because of other people. Um, but I, and I don't want to be insensitive to that because triggers I personal experience triggers are not fun. Um, But when we can say, all right, this has indicated to me something that wants attention. Selfishly, I'm going to go back to the transformation box. If we say, now that my attention is somewhere, it just wants to be witnessed, which is a little safer than saying, I'm needing to relive this, which I've been there a little bit and you numb out. But If we could say, let me decouple the emotion of my trigger from the situation, and let me witness my energy, because it's asking for attention, it will not go as fast as the process that you've experienced, because there may be many things that need to be witnessed. It could go fast, but if it doesn't, just witness. don't don't anchor to it, don't feel the need to relive it, but witness the energy and say, I'm checking in. And this is what I sense as I'm witnessing you, and then snap your fingers and until the fact that you're you're comfortable, and then you can go back to the situation. Do do this with someone you trust, right? Because alone alone is not I think, how we were designed as humans. But Oh, yeah, sorry. We went heavy.
Caryn: No, I love it. I'm here and I will definitely have you back on because I want to unpack judgment and triggers because I think it's really important and I feel like You and I think in a similar way, I think we do. I'm vibing. Yeah. I definitely want to have you back because I think we can go really deep and really get some magical nuggets out of what we're saying if you guys allow and accept it and really hear it. this transformational box can be life-changing for you. I know we just did it for 20 minutes on a podcast, and she walked me through it. But I know just in a snap of a finger, things started to shift. My energy started to change. My my believing in myself started to become louder. And to have a tool in your toolbox to be able to do that when you're in a state of, I don't like this word, but like hysterica, hysteria, sorry. or just like hyper, hyper, like you're either overwhelmed or underwhelmed and you just want to get back to like this neutral, balanced place, then you can use this tool. You can, you can look at, you can, what are your ambitions or what is something that's holding you back from the past? Grab the clear box. Close your eyes. Feel the box. Snap your finger. What is in the box? And you do not have to interpret what it means. You don't have to. You can. I did. But just having the awareness that it's there is going to change your life. When you start becoming aware, you start accepting. And when you start accepting, you take aligned action. So you want to build the life of your dreams? You know, start here. Use this tool. It's really, really powerful. And I'm really excited about it. And I am going to start using this in my coaching program because I think it's really powerful. And if somebody wants to interpret it and get an intuitive hit, amazing. It's you. You get to choose. You get to choose how it benefits you. But just use it. So with that said, I want to talk about one more thing with you because you have this motto, which I completely agree with, is teach back. Wait, what is it? Sorry. Teach people to teach people to teach people. And let's unpack that a little bit because I love this idea right here.
Kiralei: So that phrase, in one way or another, has been in my mind since April of 2004. Kind of crazy that I know the exact month, but it was in a college class, so it's easy to kind of back up to. For me, it's always been a passion to teach other people what I know. But over time, I've started to realize that Sometimes teaching, especially when you're using the eyedropper method, when you're, when you're teaching people, but you don't teach them everything, you're kind of keeping some empowerment away from them, and you're needing to be their guru. So every new thing they need to learn, they've got to come to you. So when I say teach people to teach people to teach people Inherently, you have to let go at some point. And so over a decade, I had thought about that. There was a book that was very impactful to me by Paulo Freire called The Pedagogy of the Oppressed. I won't describe it at length, but anyone who is in the educational realm is maybe familiar with him because the way that he talks about education leads towards empowerment. If you tell people this is what you need to believe and they appreciate you, they'll say, yes, we'll do that. And then they'll teach their kids, hey, this is what we do. Why do we do that? Oh, because we really trust them. And that's what we're going to do. And the kid either goes along with it or doesn't. But then they're trying to teach their kids. Oh, why do we do that? Not knowing how to answer. Oh, we don't ask questions. And so teaching becomes oppressive, right? So with all of that in my mind and knowing that sometimes when I teach people, they feel like they can't go off on their own. I wanted to find a way to really actually empower people. I found a few ways that does not do it. But here we are now. And I have several tools in my toolbox that I can confidently say when I use these things and teach people or help them to release some anchors from themselves so they can move forward. They know whether in a business sense or in an individual sense, they know what they need to make shifts and changes in the future. They don't have to keep coming back to me because they know their own rationale for why they chose a certain thing. Empowerment is not only freeing for the person who uses it, it's freeing for the person who teaches. because I no longer have to watch them every month along the way to make sure they're on the right track. That's madness. That is a well-meaning control. I can't believe I said that, but it's not cool in the long run, but empowerment will free them and it will free you too.
Caryn: I love that. The other thing I love about this motto is When you're teaching somebody something to teach somebody else something, they're going to learn that information more. They're going to ground that information more. So like anything that I hear, anything that I learn from somebody, I try to teach it to somebody else. Not only because I think it's my belief system about it is empowering and beautiful, like the transformation box, for example, you just taught this to me. I want to teach this to my clients. And I'm sure I'll find my own unique way of doing it. But by me teaching it to somebody else, now I'm going to ground that more for myself. So I know you mentioned you don't want to be a guru, but I don't, I don't, I think everyone's a guru and uniquely themselves in their own way. And you, you know, identifying with labels is such a, that's a whole other rabbit hole.
Kiralei: Sure.
Caryn: It's a whole thing. Right. But like, I just, I, I love it. Like teach people to, and then as a children and, and you're breaking like generational cycles too. Like this is important because you know, I'm going to teach my kid all about it. I'm teaching him now about empowerment and you know, I think my mission and it's taken me a long time to really like hone in on like my why, like really like what is my why besides like empowering women and freedom and all that, that stuff. But I don't want there to be bullying in schools like that. to me, is so alive for me. And if you can teach, if I can teach my son, you know, about respect, understanding what intimidation actually is, because that's what bullying is, and how to diffuse it, and then he can teach that to his classmates, and now we can have like a snowball effect of this. But it starts with you, the adult to know it, to understand it, to know how to empower yourself and to take what you learn. Guys, anything you learn from today, share it. Not because I want you to share my podcast and, you know, and Kira Lay wants to, like, yeah, we want to be seen and heard, but really we want to change the world. We want the world to be a better place. So if you take any nugget, share it. Like, just share it. Hey, I have this cool trick where you can change your energy in less than a snap. I mean, how cool is that? Just share it. I think this work is so powerful. and can really change your life if you let it. You just have to believe it. You have to trust it. And you have to show up for yourself and really just take it in. Take one little tiny nugget. I don't care what it is. It could be about the guy cutting you off and realizing that's your reaction. Take that. Teach it back. The more awareness we have, the higher the vibration of the planet, the less chaos, the less violence, the less hurt, the less sad. All of it will start to dissipate slowly. And that is changing the world.
Kiralei: I love it. Exactly. So in the nature of that, I would challenge your listeners to think of leadership or teaching less in the way of rank. So it doesn't mean someone's reaching down to help you. Think of it as a role. So everyone on a level playing ground you can have the role of teacher and then take off the hat and pass it to the person next to you and they can play the role of teacher and no one is diminished. Because that's just, we're looking to be complete versus creating bigger hills and pyramids.
Caryn: Yeah, I just love it. I mean, I'm gonna keep sharing what we talked about today. over and over again because I don't, it's really touched me and I really think it's really powerful because I've been struggling with somatic work and really like dropping into my body and this actually really helped me drop into my body in a way that I've never been able to. So I'm really, really appreciative of you. I wanted to ask, do you have like I mean, there were so many key takeaways from today. There's so many, but if there's just one thing that somebody can start doing right now, what would you say to our listeners on that?
Kiralei: Right now, if you could do one thing right now to help yourself out, it would be to to see that your energy, and some people will call it emotions, some people call it a vibration, all of it is waiting for you to collaborate with them. So instead of feeling like it's a fight, think of it as we just want to team up. And so in a team aspect, there's norming, storming, performing and adjourning. But in the norming stage, everybody's not exactly on the same page, but they're trying. And that's where you're at when you're beginning at this journey is just to notice that everything actually wants to agree. But in that agreement, you need to have disagreement and just witness what is dissonant and then say, OK, what's the next best step and allow it to be creative.
Caryn: I love that. I love that. Thank you for sharing. So where can people find you? How can people get more magical nuggets from you?
Kiralei: So I have a website, and that's KiraLeigh.xyz. It's been focused on business-y things, but because I haven't decided where I want to move to yet, it's going to transition to more of the personal development things. But you can also find me on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. So it's the at symbol, Kiralei808. Born and raised in Hawaii, so that's the Hawaii area code, more or less. Kiralei808 on most of the social medias.
Caryn: I love it. Thank you so much for being on my podcast today. This was incredible. I can't wait to have you back. And I just hope you have such a beautiful day. Thank you so much. Thank you.
Kiralei: Thank you for what you do.
