Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Cupola Nukes. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey. And what is life other than a course of one step after the other? As it is often said in our society, it starts with the first step. Uh, but what after that? Now what I'm trying to say is we are constantly Taking steps sometimes one at a time.Sometimes we walk two steps at a time, but it's important for us to Think about those steps and I say that all in a play on words for today's guest who is the executive director of steps? ministry, and we're going to get into What's the word steps means to him and to the people he works with in the lives he has changed And that's what we're here to do is change lives We're here to fight behavioral disorders trauma and everything else in life that tries to bog us down You know, there's nothing that the enemy likes more than stopping our steps stopping us right in our tracks and having us take steps backward That's the direction he wants us to go.So we are here with mr. Steve ward Would you please go ahead and introduce yourself for us? It's a pleasure to be here. Uh, what a great intro. And as you can guess, we named our nonprofit steps that for a reason. And so there, there are multiple reasons that we can get into of a course of our conversation, but, uh, it's a pleasure to be here.I love the irony of someone who is, uh, an alcoholic having a friendly conversation with Mr. Whiskey. Cause I have a few too many friendly conversations with Mr. Whiskey over my years, but it's a pleasure to be here. Yeah, for sure. So. Let's go backwards and take some steps backward, uh to your origin story before we get to this steps ministry Who you were and you know, you've already mentioned some battles right there.So let's get into that Yeah, well depends on who you ask Uh, if you ask most people around me for most of my life, I look like I pretty much had everything together Uh, I was in business for a long time. I was actually with one company. I was with ibm for 38 years I'd like to say I was You Very successful in that regard.And I was a husband and a father and everything on the outside seemed to be going well, but I was a high functioning alcoholic that hit it extremely well as alcoholics and addicts are very good today. And so when I say high functioning alcoholic, that doesn't mean I was less than one. It just meant I was one of those people who could keep it compartmentalized so that it didn't wreck my entire life, but that's, but it's still an addiction.It's still an idol that had more control over me than I did over it. Yeah. And, uh, so I was able to compartmentalize that and part of the methodology to help me do that was that my favorite drinking buddy was my wife. Who, who had who turned out in later years had an alcohol issue as well. And then our 2 sons, uh, who, yeah, I think we've done the very best that we could.I think we've done a good job raising them. But they had two different personalities. And when our older son hit middle school, moving towards high school, he chose, uh, to hang around a crowd that was making some bad decisions. And so he went down a path for a good number of years that was very, very dark involving alcohol and drugs.So I'll close up this segment by saying back in what I refer to as the dark ages, three out of four of my immediate family were struggling with substances. And we also therefore dealt with. Mental health issues like depression and the marriage issues and financial issues that such chaos brings into any family So those were the dark ages, but as god is very creative about doing they led to better times Amen for sure and ladies and gentlemen who are watching.I know mr Ward is an older gentleman, but he doesn't mean the actual dark ages just want to clarify that You know, he's he's not that old Yeah, I agree. It can be um You know, my father is high functioning as well, you know, actually working security jobs, armed security, and people, you know, wouldn't know.And you talk about compartmentalizing it and yeah, there, it can go undetected for a long time, both from other people and yourself as well. I mean, it takes a while to even recognize that, especially when you are, like you said, when you feel like you have everything together, you're doing your job as long as it's not hindering you.Why would it be a, a problem? So I, I understand that, and I mean, what exactly was the wake up call kind of moment, uh, whether that was God induced or you kind of had something happen where you're like, I need a change. I mean, what was that moment for y'all? Well, it's, it's a good question because, um, I, I tend to intentionally use the word high functioning alcoholic now because a lot of people I'm talking to, that's a wake up call to them, right?Right. Because they think if they're doing well in their job and in life in general, that that means they don't have a problem. But no, that's not the case. Many of them are alcoholics as well. They've just never stopped to really count the cost of what they're doing. Yeah. For me, it was two or three, it was a convergence of two or three things that hit me, you know, when I was in my late 40s.One was, I was trained as an industrial engineer, right? So I went to Georgia Tech and I just started thinking about the efficiency and the effectiveness of my life. Right. In other words, yeah, I did get at work. I was okay as a dad and a husband, but I was just wasting so much of my energy and my capacity, you know, every time I got home from work.So I started thinking about that. Um, I started thinking about, am I really having more of an impact on perhaps other people and perhaps my family than I think that there is. And that started being a consideration that I wanted to think about. I also started looking ahead, right? And I thought, you know, do I want to get to the end of my life and look back and think, wow, Steve, you did a pretty good job on some things.And you kept a good buzz most of your life. Do I want that to be my legacy? And that thought frightened me, you know, that that would be my legacy. But if you You know, mentioned or implied, you know, the spiritual journey is, is part of everything we do in life. And certainly it, whether it's the good things or the bad things.And, uh, I actually found God or God found me at, at a later age. I was 40 when, uh, I went to an event and, and God just took over my life. But this is, uh, A testament to how insidious addiction is and how clever the enemy is on using it is I went a number of years after that and I was so cleverly compartmentalizing and rationalizing my choices.You know, I became active in the church. I was working with nonprofits. I was doing ministry all over the place. And at the same time, I was able to rationalize to myself that this area of disobedience or this idol in my life was somehow not a very big deal. Well, God and his patience allowed me to coexist that way, but eventually he presented me with the, with the conclusion that it is a big deal.And so it hit me that I have to either make a choice about this idol in my life. And. let go of it or have to intentionally face the fact that I'm making a decision to choose the person that I declare to be God. You know, so those things kind of converged. It wasn't a, I didn't hit bottom, right? I, I didn't, I didn't have a DUI or was thrown into jail or get fired or have a divorce, but those things were very big deal to me, right?To say, what's my legacy in my life. How am I living my life? Am I making an impact on others? And am I doing what God wants me to do? And I came to the conclusion, there was no choice anymore. I had to stop. Right. Can I fully be a vessel that God can use to its maximum capacity to reach others, to help others, if I am hindered in any way?I completely agree with that. And like you said, It's so sneaky because we already mentioned high functioning and it's interesting that people will say all right as long as I'm doing good at work As long as my marriage is working as long as my kids still love me. It's fine Oh, wow, your health could be deteriorating on the inside.It's interesting how we'll prioritize those factors and not our health We're just saying well, you know, I'm sure I could just stop and my body will heal or you know My kidneys will fix themselves out but my marriage on the other hand, I mean shoot I can't lose that, you know, I could lose a kidney, uh, or two, maybe, you know, but it's interesting how we rationalize things.And I, you mentioned, you know, justification and excuses, and we've talked before on the show, in fact, with Andrew Houghton, uh, who runs the Extraordinary Men's Network, we were talking about his journey with alcohol, as well as my father's, and the, uh, Hey, it's my, it's my son's birthday today, you know, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna have a drink or today's, you know, This and that and it gets down to you can find a justification for every day of the week pretty much Or you know, my father would say well, it's just white claw not a sponsor, but it's a white claw And so it's not as bad if I have 10 of those if I have one bottle of vodka and it's like, you know We can come up with these crazy Justifications and the enemy definitely does like making us feel justified making us feel like it's all right and a lot of You know, I'm not here to preach too much, but what I will say is a lot of people, uh, who are faith based, and if you're listening to this, and you're one of those people saying, well, you know, alcohol isn't a sin.That's true. However, I always refer back to Galatians chapter 5, where it says excessive drunkenness, uh, is in Paul's list, and we all know who Paul is when he wrote those fiery letters, right? He included that, and I also want to go to Uh, I came across this in Proverbs just a few weeks ago. Proverbs chapter 20 verse 1.It says, wine is a mocker and beer a brawler. Whoever is led astray, key part there, led astray by them is not wise. Right, so it doesn't say, you know, drinking wine and beer is bad. Being led astray is a different thing. And, you know, that might not show right away. But, like we said, if drinking is hindering your ability to Be the best person you can be, be the best servant for God, uh, than it is.And so, like you said, you were still even going to church and running a non profit while drinking, you know? It's, and it's hard for people to detect and see that. And so, since we mentioned the non profit, let's get a little bit into that, you know, steps. Ministries. Is that an acronym? Is it just, you know, steps as in, you know, where does that come from?Where does this all play into your recovery? Yeah. Um, if it's okay, let me tell you how steps came to be, and then I'll explain what the what the acronym means and so forth. First off, That stage I was referring to very earlier, I was very engaged working with nonprofits, but I had not started steps yet. So after all those ages, when I went through, uh, again, I used the nick, the nickname dark ages.So I appreciate you cleared for people that I'm not literally hundreds of years old, Yeah, so but I found myself in a period of life Right where I was engaged in recovery for myself as a person as a husband and as a spouse And um, if if people haven't been engaged in recovery, they don't know What it, what it's all about, because I actually found it fascinating, you know, because over a relatively short period of time, less than a year, I had three epiphanies that kind of changed the direction of my life, right?The first was that some of the world's worst problems, which I would suggest that substance abuse and mental health issues are in that category. Some of the world's worst problems are extremely treatable. There are tens of millions of people who've gotten better. They just normally don't run around talking about it very much, right?So a lot of people don't know that. Uh, secondly, I learned not only are they treatable, in many cases they're preventable. And the way to prevent them is by learning to live life the right way. That means emotionally, mentally, spiritually, socially, I mean, God designed us as holistic, integrated people. And when we choose flawed mechanisms to get through life, then we will inevitably be taking steps in the wrong direction.But if we learn to live life the right way, then we can, in many cases, avoid going down the paths that lead it to those deep issues. Um, the third epiphany was, my recovery plan of choice was something called Celebrate Recovery, which is a, happens to be a Christian 12 step program. My wife went to AA, which is also based on the 12 steps.And I saw these things in recovery called the 12 steps, and I thought, Well, I'll be darned. Those look a lot like the Bible to me, which in effect they are. So I put these three things together to said, some of the world's worst problems can be, are treatable. In many cases, they're preventable. The way we prevent them is to live life the right way.And that includes living life the way that God designed it to be. So the question then, I guess, changed the trajectory of my life was, why don't we teach this to them? Why don't we wait until people crash and burn and have them go through two years of recovery? That makes no sense. Why don't parents raise their kids this way to equip them for real life?Why don't we teach this in middle school and in high school and in college? Why don't companies use real life one on one principles in their professional development programs? So I went looking for books on where do people take this spiritual, recovery based, emotionally and mentally sound principles that you find in recovery, and where do people show how they live real life that way, and I didn't really find a lot.So, I wrote a book and I didn't know I was supposed to write a book until I wrote a book. So it happens to be laying here. It's called steps, a daily journey to a better life. And it's not really about addiction or recovery. It's about how do you use those proven principles to live life better? So that's what kind of changed the trajectory.And I'm still working full time with IBM at the time, but the process of writing the book and starting a blog and seeing the fulfillment of like you, this whiskey of communicating to people. in a way that hopefully could help them make choices to live life better. That was very fulfilling. So I kind of plotted my exit strategy from the business world and, and then six and a half years ago, uh, I left to found steps ministries.And I can talk more about that in a minute, but you've asked about steps. So steps does actually have multiple re, One is in the world of recovery, the concept of taking small steps to change your life is, is very, very important, right? Because you ask an alcoholic or a user, Hey, you've been doing this for 30 years.We want you to stop for the rest of your life. That's, that's hard for them. Right. But to say, Hey, what about do it for one day. Do it a day at a time. By the way, uh, a lot of what our nonprofit does is we research recovery, biblical principles, psychology, neuroscience, wellness, personal development, and we integrate those things that have been proven to work for large amounts of people from those areas.And this concept that you can change your life by taking small steps is one of the most. well validated evidence informed and evidence based, you know, life improvement tips in the world. It's just true. Um, so it the word steps means that, um, it also means when I wrote the book, I took The 12 steps that many people in recovery are familiar with, and I condensed it to an easier to kind of deal with set of five steps, and I use the word steps as an acronym.So the S in steps stands for surrender, which is kind of steps 3 from the 12 steps, which is I'll accept that life is out of control and that I need to surrender to my higher power, which happens to be God. Um, the T in steps is for transformation. Which from the world of recovery is steps four, five, six, and seven, which is I'll accept that I have issues in my life, but that there are things that I can do to get better about them.If, you know, if I develop my self awareness and my humility and take steps in the right direction, uh, the end steps is for empathy, which it means is steps kind of seven and excuse me, eight, nine, which in the world of recovery is you'll get your relationships in place, right? You'll forgive those who need forgiving and you'll make amends with those.Uh, so it. The way in which we relate to people is indicative of what's going on inside of us, so that's what we talk about there. The next last letter, the P, is for progress, which is steps 10 and 11, which says you need to have daily habits or weekly disciplines that keep you along the right track emotionally and spiritually and from a recovery standpoint.And then the final S is for service. Which at the end of the 12 steps, it says, now that, you know, we have been changed by the spiritual transformation we've gone through in this process, we want to take this message to others. So, one of the really, really cool things about recovery is a lot of people come out of it and are so grateful and humble for the changes they've gone through that they really want to take that message to other people and help other people.So that, that's where the, the word and the acronym STEPS came from, and it kind of lines up with why I do what I do. Yeah, because I'm just, I'm grateful, you know, and, uh, it breaks my heart that there are so many people out there who don't know what they don't know, and either they are just missing something big in their life, and they don't quite know what it is they're missing, or they're making a series of choices that are increasingly bringing pain into the lives of themselves and their family, and they don't know what to do about it.Yes, if I'm tracking correctly, you saw that everything done in recovery, well, if we had just done it beforehand, we probably wouldn't have gone through all that and needed recovery. So you said, instead of looking at everything as casually response, let's look at it as preventative, you know, actions to take.And so you created this program. So what exactly does Steps Ministry do? We know it's a nonprofit, but what does it do? You know, who does it serve? Um, I do speak and teach in person, but primarily what we're trying to do is to create online and digital content, whether it be articles, videos, um, we do create podcasts like vehicles, um, eBooks, online courses.Our website has hundreds of articles on all these topics. We're talking about create digital content to reach. People wherever they are, however they like to consume content. One of the reasons for that is, you know, uh, about one out of seven people is struggling from a substance abuse problem.And if you look at families, about half of families have someone who has a mental health or a substance problem, half the families, I'll say that. I know I'm repeating it for the third half of families, nuclear families, right, not extended families. So of the people listening. If it's not you, it's the guy or gal next to you.You know, in other words, it's that prevalent. But the problem is 90 percent of those people aren't getting help. They're not seeing a counselor. They're not talking to their pastor. They're not going to a recovery meeting. They're not in a program. They're not even telling their friends about it.They're keeping it secret and they're hiding it and they're in this downward spiral of spiral of darkness, you know, so we figure if we can make helpful resources very, very available so anyone can use them in the convenience of their home or on their cell phone. And also confidential, right? Um, a lot of people don't, they're fearful to be seen in a recovery meeting.But maybe they'll sit at home on their laptop or use their phone and they'll, like the latest, uh, online course we just put out is all about recovery. If you've never been exposed to the world of recovery, what's it like? You know? Um, we, we, we have courses for dealing with anxiety. You know, with other aspects of mental health, with just living life better, being more intentional, improving your relationships, and hopefully more people will, will get access to that content if it's available to them digitally.So that's what we do. Um, we reach out to parents and families a lot. As you called out, we are really focused on. Prevention, trying to get ahead of things. So the best way to do that is to, is to reach kids or teenagers. And the best way to do that is, is hopefully through their parents. Um, you know, about nine out of 10 people who wind up with a substance problem, start using before the age of 18.So if you can work through their parents to do that. So we do a lot with parents or any organization that supports families. Um, we, uh, we do a lot with any organization that wants to provide. Education and services to their employees or their members or the members of their congregation. Um, we do offer things for people who have already figured out that, you know, they have an issue, some kind of an addictive problem.So they're kind of 1 more directly get to. Okay. Now, what do I do about it? So we do that, but mostly it's the common denominator is. Somebody who for themselves or someone they're close to cares enough about themselves or that person to want them to get the most out of life. And that means to live life the way it was designed and also to prevent huge self destructive habits from coming into our lives.Yeah, for sure. And if someone is interested in working with your nonprofit or donating money or something else, or just getting in contact with you, would you say your website is a perfect spot for them to reach out to you? It's a great place to start. It's lifeimprovementsteps. com. Again, lifeimprovementsteps.com. Uh, there's a contact us button. So if, if you want to send an email and find out more, uh, we'll be glad to get back to you. There, there is a donate page. We are a 501c3 nonprofit. There's also access to a lot of these resources. So hopefully they can be helpful, uh, to many of you. Um, but a great place to start as always at life improvement steps dot com.I'd suggest you sign up for the blog. The blog is just a weekly value added kind of a message that helps you live life better. Um, right now, we're actually, as we speak, putting a new set of resources in place for anyone dealing with behavioral health problems, and that includes substances or mental health.So pretty soon the opt-in page where you can get started on that will be uh, www.thenextrightsteps.com/steps workbook. Again, that's www.thenextrightsteps.com/steps-workbook. But, so those are all good places, but again, our website's, life improvement steps.com and I really hope that it's helpful for you and, and people you know.Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we'll add that in the description below. So. Whether you want to sign up for the blog, donate, or just take a look at those resources and maybe share them with someone who needs them, that's a great opportunity to do so. And Mr. Ward, I'd love for you to, before we sign off here, to share with us a Bible quote that really has helped you through your times or you think can really help people who are listening right now, whether that's recovery related or not.Well, like I said, there's a lot. Um, I'll pick one They'll say it's closest to me because it's most visible to me. And it's one that a lot of even non Christians know so that they'll be familiar with it, but they may misuse it or misunderstand it. So I'll mention it and then. I'll kind of describe it a little bit.Uh, it says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Well, a lot of people who are figuring out what faith is all about and get excited about that. Right. Right. I say, okay, wow, I can do anything now. Right. I, you know, I now have this new strength so that nothing's going to go wrong in my life and all that kind of stuff.But. If you go to what Paul was talking about in Philippians, that's Philippians 4, 13, by the way, and if you get into the essence of what faith is all about, it's really talking about, and this is a paradox, and Jesus was really good at presenting paradoxes to us, that we are strongest When we are at our weakest point, that doesn't sound right, right?But spiritually, it's true, right? In other words, and I hope this is encouraging to anyone who's struggling, who feels down or broken or hurt or discouraged or hopeless or addicted. You know, whatever you're feeling, amazingly, you might be exactly where you're supposed to be. Cause you may now be at a point where you feel like you're at your weakest, but where you finally decide, okay, now's the time I'm going to rely on God's strength.That's really where the miracle happens spiritually. And uh, you know, when we let go of ourselves and accept God for being God, you know, with humble gratefulness, let his strength shine through. Get us through the life, you know through the rest of our lives I'll pick that one with some explanation that went along with it.No, I appreciate that Like you said, there's a lot of people who will twist a word and that's definitely one that even non believers will know That's one of the most common ones we we hear and it can be very encouraging Uh, but it can be very misleading as well. So it's important to remember that With great faith comes great responsibility so to speak, you know that uh, we are called to live to a higher standard And that, uh, that strength is meant for good, not evil.And it's not an invulnerability and a pass to do whatever we want in life, you know, so I, so I agree. And I think it's so important for everyone in recovery or going through hard times to, you know, like you said, at their weakest, Uh, be their strongest and, uh, I think sometimes being ultimately weak is great because you surrender everything to the Lord and you can find out how He will direct your steps in life.So, it's definitely a great thing, but Mr. Ward, I really appreciate you coming on the show and sharing about Steps Ministries. And, you know, your personal story there, I think it's something that a lot of us can relate to. And I completely agree with you. There's so much that can be done preventative. You know, we always focus on afterward, afterward, uh, but there's so much education that should be put out beforehand to prevent these poor choices from being made or, you know, kind of limit what effect and reach they have once it begins.So I really appreciate what you do and especially for helping out the youth. My pleasure. Thank you for having me. I enjoyed it.
