Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Couple of Nukes. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey. And if you're a frequent listener, you'll hear that I'm still sick. It's been about two weeks now, so I apologize still for that. But today's episode is super important. It's actually very personally connected to me.
For those of you who haven't heard my origin story, what we're going to be focusing on today that I can relate to is I grew up with a father who was a cop for 25 years. He was Afraid of the world. He had seen some of the worst sides of it. And he kind of picked my friends for me the friends that I was offered in life, if he had arrested their parents or a family member or dealt with them, you know, it wasn't allowed and he kind of really affected my social life.
And that can be the case for a lot of people, whether it's military. Law enforcement or really just parents who are controlling in general and that comes down to conformity if it's not with your parents It might be with your friends or because nowadays of social media Conforming to the new standards or whatever is trending and popular And so we have a brain fitness trainer here to help people realize What conformity is?
And how to unlock their full potential. So Mr. Arnold Vegas, it is so great to have you here. And I'm, I'm excited to hear your story about how you were being conformed and how you managed to break free from that and how we can do the same. So please introduce yourself for us. Well, thank you very much. Mr.
Whiskey. Yes I, I can relate a lot to that. And I've spoken to many people with similar challenges. And I coached people in similar situations. It's exactly like you described. My father was When I grew up in the military, he was an officer but at home, he was also an officer.
Right, right. And maybe even more tough because he thought his, well not only his children, I think also his wife, gotta be an example. Of a good family of an officer. That, yeah, that, that has, has a huge impact on my life, on everybody's life in, in, in my family. And the good thing is that what I'm doing now is that I realized that this is an extreme case of dealing with conformity.
But in the end, most people, if not all, are somehow have to deal with that conformity, which has consequences, which I will explain in a bit. But that, yeah, that helped me to realize that that is doing not good things to who you are and your role in the world and what you can do. So, by realizing that and working with that, I'm, I developed this service called brain fitness and yeah, if that wouldn't happen, I'm, I wouldn't be talking here about brain fitness.
So in it, obviously. Like, like everything it, it has not nasty sides, but also good sides. Yeah, for sure. And I got to ask, were you the firstborn son or were you, do you have siblings? And after became a sister and a brother, but as happened most in those circumstances, I don't know about yours, but for the oldest things.
Yeah, that's for sure. Yeah, that's for sure. I know. Not only was I the oldest, I was the only son as well. So after me came two sisters. And so one, they got the princess treatment. My first sister, not as much my youngest sister, you know, it's funny when I wasn't allowed to have a phone until high school really late high school, just because my parents finally gave in.
They really didn't want me to have one. My youngest sister, I think, got it in fourth or fifth grade. I wasn't allowed to play video games like Call of Duty or anything with guns or violence or bloodshed or cursing because that was, you know, bad she was playing them in fifth grade, you know, so I, I said, and I know regardless of your family, it always seems to be that way where the oldest gets, you know, I think what is it's the, the oldest is They, they have to live by all the rules, the, the middle one, the rules doesn't, or, you know, they're the reason they, it's crazy, you know, there's a, there's a saying, I know the, the, the rules don't apply to the youngest, I think the oldest is the reason they have rules, you know, so, yeah, I could totally relate to that and, and it, that is frustrating because, You see that happening in your family is like, well, why are they allowed to do this?
And I was not allowed to do that. And they're like, well, it made, it made you better. Didn't it? Or, you know, it's their response to it is always just so dismissive, you know, it's, it's crazy. So we talked about, and one thing I wanted to say that I could relate to that was in your bio, you talked about having to have the short haircut.
You know, and I hated that growing up, you know, every now and then my parents would would be a little lenient, but they loved the buzz cut on me. The faux hawk and the short hair just because they thought it looked clean. It looks sharp and I just hated it. You know, I hated it. And I remember when I got out of the military.
Cause you know, I ended up going into the military because of them. And then I had to keep my hair short, even then as soon as I got out, you know, I let it grow out and I realized there comes a certain point where it kind of just gets itchy and I don't like it long but there's that part of me that says, well, we got to do this to show mom and dad, you know, we didn't grow out our hair so I could relate to that part.
So can you kind of tell us about. Actually well, I'm, I'm a bit older than you. I. I was in primary school in the sixties, and the sixties are noticed for, well, in France, it was able to be with the rebels and student protest and boys, men growing long hair, the hair of the shoulders, whatever. I was having this haircut.
Yeah. And, and because when my father was in the military. In the military, you also should have a short haircut is at home. It was the same. And it was always when the hair start to touch my ears. He said, you're going to the hairdresser. I'll take the scissor to cut the grass and I will cut your hair myself.
You know what? That reminds me of a great story. My dad told me something you could never do nowadays. This coach at his high school had told all the football players when you come back for the fall, you better all have clean haircuts. And a bunch of them had long hair. And the coach came out there with scissors and he grabbed all of them by the hair and cut it.
He goes, I thought I told you guys to have short haircuts. And You know, my dad always loved that story, and I said, yeah, you definitely could not do that nowadays. You would get into a lot of trouble. So what do you say? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that is times that are changing. Yeah. So can you kind of tell us about some of the restrictions that apply to you and the way it affected your childhood?
I know I mentioned for me, I wasn't allowed to be friends with certain people because my father looked down on their families because there was had been, you know, delinquency or, you know, criminal activity or just mild stuff. And Some of you that I don't share, you know, and it's not biblical. You know, we are not to judge people based off their family members and whether you're religious or not, that's just a good practice to follow.
You know, children aren't always like their parents or vice versa. So how did that work out in your family? Well, I don't know whether it was my father or my mother. They, they mostly didn't like, if you would go to friends, then, well, I was just after school allowed maybe an hour or, well, I don't know exactly an hour or two hour, but then I had to go home and be on time or whatever.
So my mother really didn't like it because it changed the program. And yeah. But the main thing was I had, I, I didn't learn at all to think for myself because, because my father determined what school where, when, what everything is, so, so I, I was not used to think for myself and, and I, I, I had to go to university.
I had no clue where the university was. It's like, it's like, it, it, it was just, he determined everything. Yeah. Which sports to go to, whatever. Oh, I, I, I can recall. I well, you're from the U S you would call it soccer. We call it football, but it's soccer. At primary school, as a kid, we all in the breaks, we would play soccer in the outside.
So just with your normal clothes and everything, and there was someone that had a ball, and we all played with the ball. That's what we did in all the breaks, and I was playing as well, and I loved it. And my, my classmates, they were, a lot of them were, were member of a football, of a soccer team. So I asked, is it, can I go to the soccer team?
No, no, no soccer is for low level people and and no way you're gonna, and I wasn't letting. I love playing it, and I like it, and all my schoolmates are playing there, and they're members of whatever. They're like, no, you have to go play field talking, which worked out very nice, but I had no choice.
There was no choice. Yeah. Yes, so no choice, not, not learn to think for myself, which is a crucial theme throughout what I'm doing with brain fitness, because it is, well, you and I have learned it to the extreme, but now everything in our society with social media and all the technology, whatever. Is I would say emphasizing that behavior that you're not taught to think for yourself.
You're not taught like what you want. What are your ideas? What do you want to do? Because there was just no choice. Yeah. Yeah, I get that. You know, I'm working on my My nonfiction book about suicide and the military and my family life and all this stuff and it wasn't until just recently when I started working on it and I was writing about a lot of stuff from my childhood that I realized I actually came to the conclusion for the first time that I wasn't allowed to have independent thoughts because I was writing this book and I'm thinking about people are going to say, well, why didn't you just do this or why didn't you just do that?
And I was writing saying, I didn't even. Think of that because I wasn't even allowed to think like that, you know, people will think it's so easy They're like, well, why didn't you just rebel against because I look back at my past and i'm like, why didn't I just? Sneak out of the house and go play soccer right in your case, and I'm like, I would have never even thought of that, you know, I did sneak out of the house one time to see a girl, of course, and my dad came looking for me in the cop car, like, so traumatized for life, you know, it's funny you mentioned the sports recently on my episode wrestling with perfection, I shared how my parents said, All right, son, you're in the fourth grade going on fifth grade, you got to do a sport.
And I said, okay, I want to do hockey. And they said, not allowed too expensive, too dangerous. Pick something else. And I was like, well, you asked, you said, son, what sport do you want to do? They go, you're going to play lacrosse. Kind of like what, like, what happened with you. But then I missed the deadline.
So they go, all right. Since you're not playing sports now, you're going to play an instrument. You got to do something. And I was like, okay, I'd like to play the guitar. They go, no, too common. You know, you can't, you got to pick something more special. I said, okay, well I like the piano. It's kind of fancy and charming in its own ways and a lot of applications.
They said, no, you got to pick something else. And they said, you're going to play the violin. So I was like, okay. And my dad used to come up to my sister and I and be like, who wants to go to the store today? After he retired from the police, you know, force, he had nothing. He didn't do anything. He stopped doing all his hobbies that he did when he was a police officer.
You know, he, for 25 years, he said, I'm going to go fishing. I'm going to go hiking. I'm going to go hunting. And then he retired, did none of it. Right. And so he would go to the store like every day. He would never buy all his groceries. He made an excuse to leave the house and then he would come up to us and be like, who wants to go to the store?
We don't want to go every single day. We got stuff we're trying to do. And we would say no. And he would be like, oh, well, you're going, I was asking to be polite. And I was like, I rather you just tell us we're going, then give us this illusion of, you know, having that choice. But yeah, you bring up a great point, independent thinking and not realizing.
And it's like, even when I knew something was wrong, if my father told me, it was like, well, it's going to happen. And one of the stories I shared in my book is that. This girl and I had been seeing each other, and then we stopped talking. All of a sudden, she just kind of like, disappeared on me, and I didn't understand why, and then I was sitting on the front porch one day with my dad and she walks by and she kind of gave me this look like she wanted to talk and it, you know, I was like, I don't know.
And then I was like, I'm going to, I tried telling my dad, I'm going to go. For a walk and and catch up with her because we used to walk together up and down the street. And then he was like, No, son, not today. XYZ. And then she texted me saying, I was hoping you were going to come talk to me. I want to fix things is like, see that.
But but the most embarrassing time was, you know, Now, I don't know how they, they do it over where, where you are, but in the U. S. you eat bacon with your hands, most commonly. But my dad was like, if you're ever in public, you have to eat it with a fork and a knife. And I was like, what? It's, it's bacon, you know, it's a crispy strip, you just eat it.
And I remember he told me that though. And I was, I went to this camp program on this well, I went on this private island for a scientific research team. And. We had bacon for breakfast. And so I, I was like, you know what, I got to do what my dad says. And all of the girls made fun of me for eating bacon with a fork.
They were like, ew, why are you doing it that way? And I was like, you don't understand. My dad told me I want to eat it with my hands. But yeah, like you said, when you don't know any different and you mentioned social media, there's a lot of emphasis and I think an important thing to note about that is that it's a lot of subconscious a lot of subtle, you know, it's a lot more Indirect but one of the things we talk about is it being from childhood and, you know, really hard wiring it in.
And so, Mr. Begas, when did you kind of, when did you finally realize and start becoming an independent thinker? At what point in your life did that happen?
Well, to a partially level, it started when I, I went to university and I, I, I lived In the city where the university, so I, I got out of the house and and, and later on when I got my own house and, and things that that's when it started, but still. Without the reason or realizing it and subconsciously you, you're constantly focused on what other people expect from you.
That is not only with you and I, that is the case with. 95 percent of the people, because what I say is everybody's used to fitting in. You and I are to an extreme level, the other people not to an extreme level, but still they're supposed to fit in. Let me explain. When you're born as a kid, when are you a good kid?
When you do exactly what your parents tell you to do, then you, well, maybe you go to church. When are you a good kid? Student of the church when you do exactly what the priest tells you to do, or the vicar or the imam doesn't matter. Mm-Hmm, . Then you, then you, you go to school. When are you a good student?
When you do what the teacher tells you. Then you, you go well, into the army. I, I had to go into the army because there was, when I was there, I think you call it conscription. So every boy, Who's healthy above 18 should go in the military for one or two years. Say, when are you good there? When you did what your commander tells you, right?
Then I get, you go to university. When are you a good student? When you do what the, what the professional tells you, then you start to work. When are you a good employee? When you do exactly what your boss tells you. So by the time most people, if not all, you're 25, the only thing what you have learned is to live someone else's life.
You only have learned to meet the expectations of all these other people. Yeah, and it started with you and I already at home, but at school, at work, and even in relationship, it's all the same. Is that I call it you live someone else's life. You live the life of your parents. You live the life of your teachers.
You live the life of your professor. You live the life of your bosses. And that is what we think is normal by constantly doing what these other people want you to do. And if you do that correctly, you're great. And if you don't do it or do it on a subpar level or whatever, yeah, you'll get criticized and whatever.
So
That is ingrained in most of us, that fitting in, I call it a fitting in brain operating system, where you lift someone else's life. Many, many people, most people, that stays until, until the end of their life. That's the only thing what they used to, and I help people to make the shift from fitting in living someone else's life to flying out, living your own life.
And I can still recall when I was, you know, so I ended up in the corporate world that was rather successful, but when you're successful in the corporate world, when you do what your boss will tell you to do, and I was good at that because that's what, that's the thing I was learning. Yeah. So, but then that ended with a lot of crisis and I took a coach.
This was the beginning of the 2000, even before you were born. But it's like, so that's when having a coach was not commonplace. Never, you know, so, but I was very fortunate to get a coach and I can still recall, I was the beginning of my forties. He asked me and I was explaining like, what kind of job do you want to do?
What are your next steps or not what? And I was like, I don't want this anymore. I don't want this anymore. I don't want this anymore. Yeah. All this. And then he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand what you don't wanna do, but please tell me what do you want to do? Wow. And I'm. I had no clue. Yeah. The only thing that I said, and I said I want to be a general manager because I don't like bosses.
But, but for the rest I had nothing. Yeah. For the, for what I don't want, I got to search the list and, and what I don't want, the only thing is that I want to be a general manager. I was like,
I have no clue. So I was in the beginning of my forties when someone asked me to quit, that was the first time in my life. When someone had asked me that question,
nobody ever had asked me that question. That is not exceptional for my life and who I am. And although I grew up in a different time than you, but yeah, that situation for most people, we just constantly tell them what to do. And society pushes you, it's like, yeah, you gotta get a high education and a good job, and you gotta marry, and then you gotta buy a house, and a bigger house, and a car, and a bigger car, and all of these things.
Yeah. But nobody tells you, but what do you, what do you really want? What, what are your strengths? What, what is your passion? What do you love to do? Whatever. It's like, no, no, no, just take that job, do that. So, making that shift is a huge shift, because we have not learned to think for ourselves. We, we only learned, and that is, you will, well, I know you will recognize this, we developed an inner critic.
We have the voice inside, which in my case, was really the voice of my father. Yeah. Yeah, so, I would already, when I didn't get a good grade at school for some topic or whatever, I already started blaming myself what my father would do a few hours later.
And so a very good at criticizing ourselves, but also in the same case, like, But, hey, Arnold, hey, Mr. Whiskey, where are you good at? What do you love to do? What, what thing gives you fulfillment? And look, I'm, I'm used to that people, well, not literally, but as a matter of speak, they beat me up all the time, like, this is not good, this is not good, this is not good, this should be better, this, yeah?
That's the schooling system, everything. We focus on the faults and the mistakes. But to do the reverse, People don't do that because they want you in this state of conformity because it makes it easy that basically to live someone else's life so it's good because you do what the other people want you to do.
And so you're having their agenda. You're not living your own agenda, you're living their agenda, and as long as you conform to that, they think, oh, it's cool, this guy is nicely doing what I want him to do. But starting to live your own life is totally different. And that is why I didn't know. And most people don't know, and they don't know for the rest of their lives, and throughout my life, I've coached hundreds of people.
I do this process with them, and it's all the same. Everybody has searched at least what they don't want, and what they do want, they have no clue.
Well, you know, there's a few things I want to touch upon that you mentioned the first being how it usually works out. And this is in all cases, but most of the time on top of, you know, whoever you're conforming to, like, in our cases, our parents and stuff, what we do want to do. is something that they don't like.
So not only do we want to do what, what they want us to do, typically it's like whatever you do want to do, they, they don't like. And so they'll criticize it and be harsh on it. So on top of that, you know, you have all these layers of, well, you know, what I wanted to do, they, they, they criticized. And, you know, one of the things you kind of mentioned without saying directly is that conformity is rewarded.
You know, you talk about, all right, how, how do you conform your school, right? When you go to school, how you good student, you, you know, you do what your teachers say, or in the military, you follow orders, right? Whatever it is in the church, everything is a, a graded system of some kind that rewards conformity, right?
And I'm not saying you should rebel and not do good in school, right? But the more you conform the, the better your grades, right? In the military it's rank and, you know, whatever else. Is in it sometimes rewards. And what I've seen in the military, unfortunately, is that the more you follow orders, the more you're rewarded, even if those orders are wrong.
So I've seen a lot of the best leaders I've had are lower rank because. They took care of their sailors and soldiers when things were not. You know, being done properly when things were wrong and because they weren't conforming and just following orders that were wrong, unjust they were punished.
And there are, you know, things to hold people accountable, but unfortunately you can only do so much. Even social media rewards conformity, right? Because if you do something that's trending you're, you'll get more likes, more attention, more approval, validation, right? And a lot of people, especially I see, unfortunately, a lot of faith based people on social media conforming to trends and stuff to try and get more likes and views, but then they're kind of going against the same morals of their faith based practice that they're trying to teach.
And it's not just faith based. There's plenty of influencers and social media people who are, you know, Going against their beliefs or who they are to get more views to do what's more trendy you know, unfortunately There's a lot of bad stuff that is trending, you know, stuff that people don't agree with or that you don't agree with So I totally agree and one of the things you talk about what do you want to do versus what other people want you to do and This is huge for military members who are active duty.
And if you're active duty and listening to this, you know, definitely pay attention. A lot of people are going to tell you to reenlist, to stay in the military. Especially your parents are going to say it's guaranteed pay. It's guaranteed housing. It's it's medical. It's dental. Your parents only see, and of course they want what's best for you, but they want what's best for you kind of structure wise, not lifestyle wise, as far as what makes you happy, you know, they don't.
And I've been talking to some of my buddies, it's coming up on their, their time of their contract to either stay in or get out. And their parents are like, do this, do this, do this. And they have their whole career planned out for their children. But they haven't lived a day in the military. They haven't done a deployment or gone overseas or stayed in a shipyard.
They don't understand. And a lot of times. People end up not getting the job they want in the military, or the really sad reality is that whether it was from their recruiter or military propaganda or just misinformation, their job isn't what they thought it was going to be, you know, or it kills their passion.
I've seen a lot of people, one of the biggest examples we've talked about on the show is people who love cooking. And they go into the military to be a chef, and they realize making thousands of grilled chicken breasts for you know, thousands of sailors is not the same as cooking in your kitchen, having a little music on, you know, making it fancy a lot of cooks lose their passion in the military, same with bakers who go in and they're making, you know, the cookies and brownies by, by the hundred fold, you know, they lose their passion, but even like mechanics when, when you have to conform to what you like, when you're restricted, especially in the military, it can kill your passion.
So, I've seen a lot of people trying to do what their parents think is best or the military thinks is best in terms of either staying in or getting out. And there's a lot of pride too. People don't want to get out because their family will be disappointed. But you should definitely do what's best for you.
And you mentioned college too. College is always being pushed, especially by parents and society. Like you won't make it anywhere in life if you don't go to college. And there's this stigma that looks down on the blue collar industry. Like, like you mentioned your parents saying like soccer is for, for low lives.
My father actually, when I had mentioned the idea of community college, I didn't know much about education in school, but I said, I know some people go to community college and then transfer over regular college. He said that was for minorities and unintelligent people and the scum of the earth that I wasn't, I was.
You know, levels above community college, you know, and that's a huge misconception you know, everyone's entitled to their opinion, but I've seen plenty of great successful people go to community college, you know, there's plenty of people who do it because it's a smarter financial decision, or it's just better for their lifestyle but I think there's a lot of That mindset out there, not just my father, but people who think if you go to trade school, you're a bum or a redneck or you're stupid.
So all you can do is manual labor. So a lot of people push for college, but like you said, that might not be what you want to do. And I really like you focus on the people. Here's what I don't want to do, right? Because like same for me, I'm like, well, I don't want to do this, this, and this, because this is what my dad was pushing or my mom or my boss, or, Well, what do you want to do?
And you're like, I don't know, you know, just anything. That's not what they want. And so it's, it's interesting. It's definitely true that passions don't get pushed. So when you talk about coaching, it's true in not only in the military or elsewhere, the examples, I spoke to so many people where their parents say you got to be, become a doctor or a lawyer or, and, and, and They have no affinity with that kind of thing.
And for instance, with Indian people, we're talking about one billion plus folks, you know. It's a lot of people, and, and, and, and their families are driving them very hard to, to study one of those things. Yeah. And it doesn't matter whether they like it, whether they want to do it, or whether they Wanna become a chef or, or, or, or a gardener or whatever.
No, it is like, you gotta become that, eh. Yeah. And if you're unhappy doing it, it is not relevant. Yeah. So it is, it is. Like, you gotta do that. I, I would, I would still like to add something which, which, which you expressed earlier about is that I would like to explain the difference between internal validation and external validation.
Mm-hmm. By fitting in, by living someone else's life, by meeting other people's expectations, by what you explained about the social media thing, getting likes and whatever, that forces you for that cool external validation that someone else says you're good, you're okay, you get a like, you, you know. You, you're the type of son that I want you to be, blah, blah, blah, eh?
So, but that means we are giving our power away. We're giving our power to those people who hopefully give us a like on Facebook or Instagram, doesn't matter. Or that is a is like, Ooh, my son is a lawyer. But it's external validation by external validation. You totally give your life away to other people.
What I say to people is like, you got to take back that power. You got to focus on internal validation and internal validation is like the only thing what counts is Mr. Whiskey happy and fulfilled with what he's doing.
Yeah. Is that you will get to live your life, you, for all of your life, you're stuck with yourself. You got to make sure that you are proud, fulfilled, nice, loving, kind to yourself and say, Hey, I don't care what other people think about me. It's like what I'd like to do. And I think I did my best. I think I live my best life.
I think I did my best things. I'm, I am Dutch, but I'm currently living in Romania for a little bit over six months now. I want to tell people in, in Netherlands when I was there is like, because I was helping my mother. She had dementia and Parkinson's and then she died. And I, but I lived in her house and I was selling the house.
So I had no place to stay. So some neighbors were like, where are you going? Where? And I said, I'm going to Romania. And they're like, in the Netherlands, Romania is not a common destiny. So it's like, What are you doing there? You have a job there? No. Have you been there? No. Do you know anyone there? No. Oh, you go to a city?
Yes, I go to a city called Cluj Napoca. Oh, have you been there? No. You speak the language? No. So, these guys, I could tell from their body language, maybe, like, that guy is totally crazy. Yeah. It's like, I don't understand anything from that dude. But again, making that decision, and I had done it earlier in my life as well, a few years before, those are one of the best choices I made ever in my life.
So, but that was my internal validation. My external validation is that guy's crazy. Yeah. Well, and conformity is a vicious cycle because you talk about. There's a few different reasons why parents will push a certain career. The big one, like I said before, financial structure and security. However, the way conformity creates a vicious cycle is for example, I'll get personal with my case.
You know, my mother had perfect gun scores and firearms scores for, for shooting, and she really wanted to be a Marine. She wanted to be the real life Wonder Woman and Electra, and she became a stay at home mom instead, a different story. And, you know, she kinda, I think part of the military, cause she pushed my siblings into the military as well.
She wanted us to kind of fulfill her dream because she expressed how she regretted not joining the Marines X, Y, Z. And it's not just my case. There are hundreds and hundreds and thousands of parents who think, well, if my kid can do the dream I wanted, they'll be happy. The difference is it's their dream, not ours.
And so it creates this cycle then, because let's say I had stayed in the military my whole life and I was miserable and I was like, this, Is, is what my mom wanted, not what I wanted, I wanted to, let's say, be a podcaster, and then I have a son, and I'm like, you're gonna be a podcaster, and I push for that, thinking, now he can do what I wanted to do, I'm happy, because I'm living through him, and he's happy, in my mind because he's doing something that, I, I'm like, this is great, I, you know, I love podcasting, why wouldn't Junior here, you know, love it, so, it creates this cycle then, because, Let's say my son then has a son or a daughter and he's like, all right, you're going to be, you know, a dancer.
Cause I had to be a podcaster and I didn't want to do that, you know? So it creates this vicious cycle, unfortunately, of living another person's dream. So that's another reason for conformity for, for people pushing a career onto someone and also just. Fear of failure not, not just of their own failures, but of your failure.
You know, parents fear that if their children pursues a certain career, they're going to fail. They don't have that, that, you know, faith in them or because they failed, you know, if, if, if your mother, you know, wanted to be a nurse and she flunked med school because, you know, she failed during the last trimester or whatever.
And then you tell her you're going to go to nursing school. She's going to think, oh my goodness, that was so hard for me. My daughter will never be able to do this. So if not a dream they want to pursue and didn't get to, perhaps it's a dream that they tried pursuing and failed and they're afraid of you doing the same.
And so unfortunately, I've seen that pushed not just career wise, but even relationship wise where parents. You know, at some point, like your mom or dad was in a relationship with someone who maybe is kind of like your partner or X, Y, Z, and they believe that because their relationship failed, your relationship is going to fail.
So there's a lot of push on to children from their parents because of their past lives. But Mr. Vegas, for the people who he work with, I mean, we're going to have in the description below, ladies and gentlemen, all the links to his website and everything, but who should go and find you, you know, because we talk about.
Independent thinking being difficult when, when you're being conformed to. So if people aren't independent thinkers, how can they find you and who should find you? Well, my website is called braingym. fitness and there I have some videos where I address certain topics like dealing with your emotions, aging sounds strange, but aging starts after you're 30 years old.
So it's very crucial. Aging of your brain, aging of your body, that you start addressing that it's about relationships. So, it's about curiosity. It's about learning and basically following the things which you find interesting rather than other people. So, I got videos around these specific topics.
And I got two training programs, one for people who want to shift out of that fitting in environment. Doesn't matter whether you're in the military, you're in the police, you're, you're in a bank, you're, you're, you're, you're in an IT company doing some dope programming all day and, and whatever. Yeah, so I help people from fitting in to flying out.
How to get out of that old situation and build up this new situation. And I have another training, which are called from flying out to extraordinary. And that is where people who are already, maybe they're freelancing or maybe they're entrepreneurs, but they really want to do something game changing is like, Hey, I want to contribute maybe to my community.
Unity, maybe to my city, maybe to my country, maybe to the world, but I really want to add something significant where I make the world a little bit better. That is another training, which I have, so the two types of training and videos on braingym. fitness. Awesome. Yeah. So ladies and gentlemen, if you know someone who is living a conformed life, they might not even realize it.
So if you're listening to this. Either send this to them or have a discussion with them. It can be hard to open their eyes when they're, you know, so used to that, you know, because humans are creatures of comfort and habit and pattern. And so the idea of being independent, especially when you are raised, whether it's subtly subconsciously or just straightforward in a conformed lifestyle, it can be a very difficult change.
So please send them this episode. Please send them over to Mr. Vegas's website. Again, that'll be in the description below, but Mr. Vegas, thank you so much for coming on the show. I really appreciate you talking about this subject and for sharing your life story with us. I'm happy to do that. And thank you for sharing as well with the audience.
