Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Couple of Nukes. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey, and today my guest and I have two things in common. The first being addiction recovery. I haven't gone through it myself, but I record with a lot of guest experts, and I've, uh, I've had a lot of family members that I'm continually working with as they're in recovery or trying to help them recover.So helping people with addiction recovery. The second thing is our love for Hebrew words. Uh, I'm a religious man and I, Have begun studying the bible in greek and hebrew Because there are different there's a much deeper meaning. There's more powerful meanings and I love studying the greek and hebrew trying to learn hebrew is very difficult at least with greek the alphabet, you know has letters Uh the hebrew Respectfully, it looks like squiggly lines to me.So it's much more difficult to learn. But, I have my favorite Hebrew word from the book of Ecclesiastes, which is Hevel. But, our guest, Ms. Lillian, she has her word. In fact, I'll let her present to herself. Ms. Lillian, could you please introduce yourself and that Hebrew word for us? Okay, first of all, thank you for having me.My name is Lillian Easterly Smith, and my husband and I are founders of a new organization called Aruka Ranch located in Southwest Florida. We've actually been doing ministry as it relates to recovery and trauma and a lot of a variety of other things for many years. And so this is a new approach and just really being able to have people come to a place where they can invest three months of their life, six months, or a whole year.They can actually come and stay on the ranch. But since you brought up, you know, the fact that you love Hebrew words, I want to tell you just a little bit about the story behind The word, uh, Ruka, which is Hebrew. And, uh, when you go into the depth of the definition of that word, it says to heal, restore, and rebuild to bring into wholeness, body, soul, and spirit.So it talks about holistic approach, uh, to our healing. And I think that God wants that for all of us. And most of the things that my husband and I do today really come out of our own personal frustration and trying to help people. And then also from our own personal experience. So, I know you mentioned that you are not a person in recovery.Him and I are in recovery. Alcohol was my drug of choice. Alcohol was his drug of choice. But I certainly dabbled in a whole lot of other things before I actually landed on alcohol as my drug, but eventually by the time I got into recovery, I was already back into dabbling with cocaine and some other things.So, um, you know, my bottom was, was quite, quite ugly, but, you know, here I am today and now trying to help other people and help them to understand that. You know, our approach as well as we believe that the approach for everyone who needs recovery is to have root cause recovery. So, what is the cause? Why are you doing what you're doing?And let's look at all the parts of who the person is and let's see if we can tend to each part. So that they can get the victory, so that they can come into wholeness, like Aruka says, and what it means. Yeah, I know, we've, we've talked about that before, Baba, how so many people, you know, go to rehab, or, you know, do some other physical treatment, where they get rid of the physical need.To drink or to do drugs, but they don't get rid of the mental emotional drives behind it their root cause. Now I really love that word you shared that Aruka because the heal, restore, and rebuild to bring you to wholeness body soul and spirit that is all encompassing. Where so many recovery techniques and methods and practices, you know, they don't Focus on everything they focus on, and this is something I learned actually from, from my show when I recorded with Dr.Brian LeQuannon. We were doing an episode on getting your loved ones into rehab or AA when they're resisting and don't want to. He broke down the difference between dry and sober. The word sober gets used so much and not always in the right context. See, dry is when you're not using the substance anymore.But sober is you're working on what Arruka encompasses. Your body your soul and your mind you're working on everything. You're not just Surviving you're thriving when you're dry you're surviving, but you still need to do that work So really what you're focusing on is sobriety, which is so important because so many people Confuse sobriety for being dry.They just focus on being dry, which that's definitely a great first step, but that can be a stumbling block to go back to Drinking Or the substance if you don't move any further from there. So Let's go into your backstory. Ms. Lillian. You talked about being a substance abuser So what was the wake up call moment the rock bottom or what brought you back out of that?Well, um, I guess first of all, I just want the audience to understand that You know, there is such a thing as generational stuff that That is a part of this piece too. Yeah, which can be, you know, the mind and the emotional piece, you know, the environment that you grow up in and so my family of origin, I mean, alcohol was, it was all the time.I mean, every weekend was a party and we all loved each other. And I, I can still say today that I have a very, you know, close family. I think that they love each other as best as they know how, even though some of them are still addicted to substances. Um, but if that's all, you know. And then you grow up in that, and it's quite natural for you to just kind of fall into it.And then let's add some of the dynamics of, okay, you start going through your teenage years. There's a lot of peer pressure. You want to fit in, right? You know, you're trying this and trying that and, you know, experimenting and, and, uh, you know, rejection and all of that stuff is there and it's, and it's painful.And if you don't have a family system that you can go back to that can unravel some of these lies that you're being told and also, uh, bring comfort when comfort is needed or encouragement when encouragement is needed. You, you are basically a person who is going to very naturally gravitate to substances or even any other kind of addictive behavior, because part of what we want to do at the ranch as well is we understand that people get addicted to anything and everything.And it can even be good things. There are socially acceptable addictions. And then the other piece that you mentioned, and that is that, you know, if you have sobriety versus just being dry, okay, if you're dry, you could potentially go back like you said, or you're just going to switch addictions. You're going to find something that will still benefit you in some way, instead of dealing with your feelings, instead of really doing that mind renewal piece, you know, cognitive therapy and all of that.So, that's the backdrop of my story and what led me into dabbling with the drugs 1st and then the alcohol and then really becoming emotionally and mentally addicted to alcohol. The interesting thing is. I learned early on in my own personal recovery that, uh, and, and this was said to me at 1 of my 1st meetings that I went to.And when I shared a little bit of my story, I mean, in the beginning, I couldn't share it at all because I was just so emotional and I hadn't felt anything for 10 years. So many years because I was, you know, under the influence so that I didn't have to feel now, everything starts coming up and out and up and out.And I'm like, I don't know what to do with it. So I would go to meetings and listen to people and try to talk. And I was just an emotional mess. Um, but 1 of the things that I heard from someone at 1 of those groups was the gentleman told me, he said, okay, I'm, I'm hearing your story. And he said. What I get from this is that you're on the garbage truck, and either you can get off now, Or you can take it all the way to the dump.And I thought, wow, okay. Cause I thought I was going to go to meetings and learn how to socially drink again, how to get control over it. And then because of all of these different family members that I had watched all of these years, including my father, who was just, he was a nasty drunk, you know, not everybody's a nasty drunk, but he was.So we dealt with a lot of verbal and emotional abuse growing up. And. I also use him as an example because he did get dry, but he didn't get sober. And he had quite a few years of being dry, but he didn't have recovery. He didn't have, you know, that healing that we all need that drives the addiction. And so he went back to it.And he ended up dying from it. So, I, I really look at that as, you know what, his life started falling apart again, he could have got back on track, he chose not to, he went full into the bottle, and he, he drank himself to death. That's what happened. And the sad thing is for us is, for a little while, we actually had a father.It was stable, but we could have conversations with. Right. Um, so I went full on into my drinking when I probably I first started using substances when I was about 14 years old and then, um, it progressed and it got to the point where I was making. Horrible decisions, all of my values and morality and everything else went out the window.And that's pretty typical. Someone who is using something that's mind or mood altering, you know, you're out of control and you start acting stupid. And so I got to the point where I just, I loathed myself. I hated myself. I had hurt so many people in my family and my friends. And, um, that led to a suicide attempt.And I really believe there's no question in my mind that through my suicide attempt, everything came rushing back in, in the spiritual part of my life, because we had some neighbors that would take us to church when we were little kids. And so I knew. God was real, but he wasn't really a part of my life at that point.And, um, I really believe that God met me in that broken place. And what I heard and I, you know, it wasn't an audible voice, but I sensed this in my heart. It was like, you, you don't want to die. You just don't want to hurt anymore. And at that point, My dad had already been in recovery for a while, so it was like, I couldn't wait to talk to him.And I, I wanted to talk to other people who were, I felt were spiritually sound and kind of had their life together. And that's what threw me into this discovery of, you know, how can I live my life differently today than what I've lived it before? Because yeah, don't want to die. I just don't want to hurt anyone.So that was the beginning. Yeah, you know you said something important, which is unfortunately so many people who because my father was one of them people who go to AA or rehab they don't see it as a Alright, we need to stop drinking forever. They see it as a this is gonna reset our livers or our mind or a body We're gonna now drink socially or we're gonna start all over again.They don't realize this is a no This is the stopping point. This isn't a restarting point And unfortunately, you know, not having that mindset, having that reset mindset, that's how you end up relapsing and ending back where you started. And I've seen it for people who were sober for a year, for 10 years, for five, and I've seen it for people who were sober for months.So you really need to have the right mindset going into it to get everything out of it that you want and need to. And so you talk about the ranch. You've mentioned that a few times and what you're doing nowadays. How many years after that point you had where you got into recovery, started recovery, how many years have elapsed between that point and the creation of the ranch?Uh, quite a few. Um, I'm trying to think. I think in February I will be 39 years free of mood and mind altering substances. Now, most addicts are addicted to multiple things. Right. So it probably took me a good 3 to 5 years early in my recovery, just eliminating things, eliminating things. Okay, the next thing, the next thing, and then learning about how to take care of myself because I didn't know how, um, and there were a lot of things that led up to that, obviously, but, um, I've been, I will be a lifelong learner.And so I went back to school, I got my counseling degree, pursued that, started giving back. To recovery, uh, the people that had helped me and also some of the ministries and organizations that were supportive when I went through what I went through. And so I just wanted to get back. So I started helping people right away as I was in school.And some of what I did was in a church setting because I felt like there were a lot of. The believers that were really struggling and they weren't being honest about it. So I wanted that to be a safe space for them. So I've been doing this for a very long time. Um, but my husband and I, this is my second marriage.So a lot of what happened in the first marriage was connected to, you know, substances and all of that stuff, addictions on both sides. So that, that marriage failed. I have a beautiful daughter that came as a result of that. And I'm thankful for her today. Because she's, she's now helping other people too, and she's very, uh, she's going to be very instrumental on what we provide at the ranch.Um, But we started dreaming about a place where people could come and we could teach them how to live. And, you know, we got credentialed as health and wellness coaches. So it's been this progression. And so we see how all the pieces have got to be tended to in order for the person to become healthy and whole.So as we prayed and we just, you know, continue to learn, we're like, okay, you know, This is what we believe we need to do, and even when we have the ranch, the first phase of this, of course, we have the property, we're here, we're continuing to help people, we will continue to help people regardless whether they come and stay here or not.But the first phase of this is having a place for them to come where it is safe, where they can learn, where they can get some coaching and counseling, and also take advantage of some of the natural modalities that are out there to help with brain health in particular. Right. You know, we're, we're brain health coaches and then also lifestyle coaches.So that's the physical piece. Let's teach them how to eat differently because Most addicts. Oh my goodness. And think about it. You, you know, you keep referring back to like the detox centers or this organization that does this, or you go to a 12 step meeting and it's like, my experience with a lot of those things is, you know, it's like sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, caffeine, caffeine, caffeine.Yeah. And so you're, you're giving the body all of the things that are going to be detrimental for you to be able to think clearly so that the counseling can actually benefit you because you're hindering it by some of the things you're doing or not doing. So, the more we thought about this and talked and to, to many other people that are also part of this, like, we need a place where, you know, we're already doing this.But let's do it in one location, and let's do it in a space where either they can come and go, take advantage of what we have. Or they can come and stay so they're not distracted. So we can really pour into them. And then when they leave, whether it's three months, six months, or even a whole year, we'll have an aftercare program in place for them to, even if it's long distance, we will connect them with a coach that they can do zoom meetings with, and they can have some accountability and encouragement along the way.So they can stay the course. Right. I, so you mentioned. Addictions being replaced by other addictions and I actually did an episode covering like the physical side of addiction with a new treatment which is laser energy acupuncture and we talked about endorphins and hormone levels and sugar is one of the number one substances used after alcohol and drugs by, you know, recovered addicts to get that same kind of feeling, uh, physically.Uh, because it plays into endorphins, so, I agree, right? You're replacing one addiction with another. And also, I just know from seeing other alcoholics and interacting with them, that they definitely do need help getting good food and getting nutrition, because a lot of alcoholics lose a lot of weight. Now, I've seen my dad lose over a hundred pounds because, I mean, he's, he's gotten to the point with his health and drinking that he doesn't eat.He just drinks, you know, and that's, that's all he needs. But physically, he also needs food, but it's hard for him to, to stomach it or he doesn't want it because of the alcohol, whatever it may be. So I think it's like you said, part of that recovery journey is getting your health back and you need to focus on that.And a lot of them think that. I'm no longer addicted, you know, I'm not drinking, so I'm fine. Uh, but there's years of damage sometimes that you have to recover as well physically, so I, I really like that you're focusing on that because I think a lot of people neglect that aspect, the food and health aspect.And, yeah, we've had people on the show before talking about a, a good addiction, a socially acceptable addiction, which is fitness, using that to replace, you know, addiction. One that is, In my opinion, not so, uh, not acceptable, but socially isn't too front upon is a lot of people replace it with, you know, video gaming or social media as specifically what we call doom scrolling, just looking for funny content online to get that same, just dopamine hit one after the other.And unfortunately it's not productive and it can lead to bedrock, which can lead to physical ailments as well. So you talk about this place you've created as like a safe haven for addicted people to come and you know, get recovery hands on and stay at this ranch. So I know you're running it now and upgrading it.So what exactly does that look like? So if I'm an addicted person and I'm staying there, what is kind of like that day to day routine looking like? Okay, so there will be support groups. There will be individual counseling. Group counseling. Then there also be life skills classes. So let's teach you how to do relationships because most addicts are horrible at relationships, how to confront properly, which is why they end up being an emotional mess because they just keep stuffing, stuffing, stuffing.And then they use to make, try to make it go away. So. boundaries, finances, you know, all those life skills pieces that they probably were missing along the way. We also want to teach them how to, uh, pick some healthy foods, you know, organic. If they want to grow food, we're going to teach them how to do that too.We have some organic gardens here. Uh, we're going to utilize animal therapy. So we have chickens and, um, Little miniature goats and we'll probably add as time goes on, you know, a couple of other animals that because the other thing that we find as well is that Many people who are caught in the throes of addiction and various forms of trauma that they've experienced Yeah, they have tough bonding a tough time bonding, you know with people So a lot of times the first step is okay Let's get them to bond with with an animal and care for that animal so It's, it's reciprocal, you know, and then that can grow into other things.So. That's going to be a part of what we do. Then they will have appointments each day to take advantage of these natural health modalities that we're talking about that actually rewire the brain. Everything from light therapy to infrared sauna, red light therapy, uh, We're going to do like a, um, a hair analysis, which actually helps us to determine like supplements that they may need to help with that.And then also we've got connections with functional doctors that can tend to other things like, I think you mentioned hormones and, and, uh, things like that, that can. You know, these people can come alongside and help us support them. Um, there are like, uh, natural hot springs nearby. So once a week, that'll be a part of it.And then the spiritual side of this, I mean, we really believe that, you know, the, the scripture, the Bible says, That we are transformed by the renewing of our mind. And so, people's minds need to be renewed. Whether you want to call that a spiritual thing, or you want to call it a psychological thing, because that's what cognitive therapy is.It's about renewing your mind. So, you know, what are some of the false beliefs that you have that actually have been driving this behavior? And then what is the truth? So, a lot of that will be a part of the process. Um, and we really want them to learn how to be balanced in their life. You mentioned that.Okay. Yeah. Socially acceptable addictions. No, we want to teach them balance. It is good to have coping mechanisms, right, that are healthy, that are good, but they have to be in balance with your life. Anything that is consuming you, and that's always your go to, For whatever has happened in your life, that's a problem.So we want to teach them that. We want to help them, uh, how to live a balanced lifestyle. So those are a lot of the things that we're going to have, and we'll be adding to, uh, some of the natural modalities as soon as we get, um, so a couple of other hyperbaric oxygen. We believe that that's really good for brain health.Detoxification as well as the infrared sauna. Exercise will be part of it, of course. Mild forms of exercise. Nothing, you know, crazy to start with. Um, but again, let's, let's teach people how to take care of themselves. Teach them how to cook. Some, you know, some of them don't even know how to take care of themselves as it relates to, to food overall.Yeah, no, I, I completely agree with that. And so just to clarify, one last thing to clarify. Let's say, I'll use the example of my father and I, but this is for any person who has an addicted loved one. Okay. Let's say I convinced him to, to go to the ranch. Is this a thing where he's gonna be living there, or I drop him off every morning and pick him up every night?We are going to have options available for people. If it's not convenient for them to come and stay, then yes, it would kind of be like doing a, an outpatient treatment program, where you come for the day and you leave at night. We would rather you stay here because I think you're gonna have greater benefit, but we understand that everybody is in a different position in their life.Just like, you know, some of the women that I work with now as well. It's like they have children. Okay. So what am I going to do? I can't take three months out of my life or even a year out of my life to do this. People have jobs. Okay. Well, if you're still working, we can even work around that. So at least you can come and take advantage of what we offer here periodically, if it's not coming and spending the whole day.So we are trying to, um, Just navigate through all of this and try to figure out how can we help people no matter what kind of life situation that they're in. So that's the goal. Okay, and that that's beautiful. I love that making it as flexible as possible to meet everyone's unique needs. So I really admire that.And We have the link to your website in the description below for everyone to check out whether they're an addicted individual or the loved one of someone who is trying to recover or is in recovery, but Before we close off. I just wanted to talk real quick about donations I know your website mentions that y'all are accepting donations So if you could tell us a little bit about that so that anyone who wants to help you out is able to do so properly Okay, that would be fantastic.And obviously the website is, is the best place to do that. And we are a nonprofit organization. So everything that is contributed is tax deductible. You will get a receipt at the end of the year. Um, specifically indicating what you are giving towards, um, right now, uh, it would be really beneficial for people to give towards some of the additional modalities that we would like to purchase to have on the ranch and also, um, moving towards that those living community spaces, um, for the people.So that's pretty much our focus right now for everything that's coming in. Um, so yes, if anyone can help or if they're in the Southwest Florida area, or if they really have a desire to help in some way, as far as volunteering their time to invest in other people that come here, um, you know, technology is wonderful.Here we are talking. Where are you located? Right. Georgia. Right. So even that would be fantastic. So awesome. Yeah. I really appreciate what you're doing. I think it's so important that. With so many people in this world everyone's so unique in their journey of addiction and recovery Just as unique if not more having so many options and so many methods out there and the ranch being Something that is new something is different and something that's going to touch a lot of lives So I really appreciate what you're doing and I want to thank you for coming on the show And spreading that so that more people can get helped.Thank you so much
