Welcome back to another episode, couple of nukes. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey, and today I am here with Mr. Robert Urban. Mr. Robert, would you go ahead and introduce yourself for us please? Yeah. Uh, uh, hello audience and, uh, Mr. Whiskey. Thanks for having me. My name is Robert Urban. I, I live near Orlando, Florida in a small town called, uh, deland.
I joined the Marine Corps whenever I was 17 years old, and, uh, served honorably for almost 10 years. I, I moved to Florida where my son's mom was from. I originally from South Carolina and Georgia, respectively, and, uh, had no idea. What I was gonna do was planning on shooting guns and kicking down doors for my entire life.
But, uh, um, I had a very serious shoulder injury at the end of my career, so that went to that one askew. So the, uh, I just started working in corporate America and, uh, I felt that I did very well. I was balancing night school being a dad, uh, first employment. And, uh, about a year into that, uh, where I thought, where I knew that I'd made the company a lot of money, the company took itself in a different direction.
And uh, and I got a pat on the back in a two weeks notice and I walked out of the, that office saying I'm never gonna work for anyone for the rest of my life. And that I started my own company and that. I've been working with that ever since as an advertising and marketing agency. Had a couple of, um, acquisitions from parts of that, of that company.
And, uh, about 10 years ago I decided, you know what, let me, uh, let me write a book as a bucket list item. And I did. And it became a, uh, number one bestseller in Amazon for nine months straight. I made more money from my books than I ever did working, and I said, you know what? I'm just gonna write books for the rest of my life.
And, uh, and so that's sort of my life. I, I've got a 19-year-old, 29 year olds and sit at home and write one to two books a year and take it from there. So that said, that's me in a nutshell. Along that time, I also earned a PhD in Earth and Environmental Science to said, always have my hands in a lot of different cookie jars.
Right? I'm gonna say you have a a lot going on there, a lot of digest. So. So break it down by going to the beginning. So you said you joined when you were 17. Why did you join the Marine Corps? You know, what were your goals? Yeah, I, I was a just a little country kid, you know, I liked to shoot guns and just stay in the, stay in the woods and, and play in the woods.
And, uh, I remember not really having a direction in my life. I'm thinking that, man, whatever I choose, I'm gonna be locked in and I'm gonna be looking out a window for the rest of my life or working hard. And I said, there's only a very small window of opportunity where I can find out what I'm really made of.
And I thought I had a couple coaches and friends that were Marines and that my, my grandfather was in the Marine Corps as well. So it was a, it was funny. When I came home, I'm bragging about how tough bootcamp was and he started telling about Iwo Jima. So I shut up real quick, right. For. 10 years you did mostly infantry.
So where were you deployed and kind of what did you do during that time? Yeah, uh, so my, my very first state, my very first duty station was actually Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. And I worked on the, uh, I worked, uh, they have a sort of a swing shift for the grunt line doing patrols and then doing training whenever you're, whenever you're back from that.
Uh, after that I was deployed, uh, to the Fleet Marine Force where it was a, um, I was with, uh, 3 6 2 6 small craft, uh, special Operations training group. Uh, I went up to Sears School in Northern Maine. Which, uh, which was crazy because I'd never even seen the snow prior to that time. The, uh, and uh, so we deployed multiple times.
Um, I started with the 22nd mu. Typically deployment is about a six to nine month cycle. Um, and then they rotate back. Whenever it was rotating back, I, I cross decked, uh, to, for the unit that was outgoing, I didn't want to do uniform inspections and all the dog and pony stuff that was back, back home in the base out of Lajeune.
Right. So I joined Marine Corps of Flight and so I just kept deploying for almost my entire career. Wow. And how would you rate the experience? Did you really enjoy or, uh, was it really bad or a mix of both? How did it really affect you as a person? No, I, I loved it. You know, the, it was, it was, I, I think that there's only, I.
Few opportunities where we can find out what we're truly made up. Uh, I was promoted very fast. I was one of the youngest sergeants in the entire Marine Corps. So being in charge of, uh, strategy operations on the small unit level, uh, being deployed and actually using what we're trained, uh, you know, the, uh, a lot of it was, uh, Liberty cruises up until, um, September 11th, and then after that was more, uh.
Hey, let's go into a Afghanistan. Let's train for what's there. Uh, let's see what other operations. So really a lot of the training and a lot of the, you know, patting other countries on the back and doing unilateral exercise with them, uh, actually turn more and find out what we're made of. And, uh, so of, of course it had, its good and bad of, you know, you make friends and that you're never gonna make that close with again.
But in hindsight, you, you do a lot of terrible things that are necessary to to stop. Evil people from succeeding. And, uh, sometimes there's a, uh, that takes a toll on, uh, some people that I, I call my dear friends and brothers, and a lot of them took their own lives whenever we got back from, uh, PTSD and some of the other demons that we dealt with.
But personally, for me, it was a, it was a great experience of appreciating life, appreciating the value of life, uh, standing up for what you believe in. And, uh. And I'm a young kid, it was, I was getting to hang out with some of my best friends and fight and drink beer and, and kick ass. So that's what I love doing.
Right. And it sounds like if it wasn't for the medical issue, you would have done the full 20 years. Was that your original plan? Yeah. You know, I, um, I, I look back and I, I just wanted to shoot guns and kick down doors, retire, retire at 37 and work at Walmart the rest of my life. Just waving to people as that, as they were stealing stuff and, uh.
You know, that, that was really my plan. So when I got out, you know, I was very rudderless. I, I, man, what direction do I want to take? I, I didn't plan for this. And, uh, I look back and were it not for that injury, I wouldn't have made the choices and wouldn't be where I'm at today, which, uh, I like to think is pretty exemplary.
You know, I, I think that any, anyone who joins the military or you know, anyone who wants to be successful in life, they constantly have to push for that next thing. And ironically, even though the Marine Corps is gonna be very difficult, it was a life that was easy and custo because I was accustomed to it, but coming up and quote unquote, having to grow up and, you know, face other challenges.
The Marine Corps gave me the foundation for that and the, and I was able to tackle it fully from there. Right. And through all this, you somehow ended up becoming an author. So see you've got a couple books here. We'll go over 101. Awesome things to do with Your Child, so. I know you mentioned you're a father, you know, so did you have your children while in the service, and how did that affect, you know, being a father?
So, actually I was a, like many people, I got divorced almost as soon as I got out, but I, oh, here I was, um, raising a son by myself, just figuring life out. And, uh, I wrote things along the way that were funny, that were poignant, that were, you know, from a father's perspective and, uh, and just wrote it on Facebook posts and share with some friends and.
Tweeted about some of the stuff, and I got a really big kick. They're like, man, this stuff is so good. Why don't you put it in a book and, and sell it? And, uh, I, I said, you know what? That, that might be cool to, and I, I really, at that time, I thought it was more of a keepsake of memories and how I parent my philosophy for if anything were to happen to me that my, that my kids could think of.
So I, so I wrote it and I, I sent it to over 300 different publishers. And not one of them was interested. So, you know, I, I got some feedback and pushback and, uh, there's a lot of people that I didn't have a literary agent and I, and I didn't have any sort of, uh, representative. It was just me. And so a lot of 'em didn't even look at the manuscript.
So I was a little disheartened, but I, um, went through Amazon, um, decided to self-publish and next thing you know, I'm number one in the family category. And, uh, I sold over 50,000 copies in, in my first three months. And I, I said, wow, you know, that's, uh, I, I really not luck. I, I think it was at the timing where there, there wasn't a lot of funny dads that were talking about.
You know, one of the things I tell him, tell him the book is my, my son comes up, he is like, Hey, um, I say, Hey, uh, Noah, do you want breakfast? What are my choices? Yes or no, you know? And so things like that to where. The, especially a military background to where you have that strict and you have that humor and then you are, you're doing it by yourself, resonated with a lot of people.
So one-on-one was my foundation, and after I hit so many copies, I had so many offers from publishers that, you know, I could pretty much write my own ticket. However, a lot of them wanted to, uh, get my creative rights, or they wanted merchandising or they wanted, uh, something else. Uh, you know, to where I was grandfathered into the Amazon, I made a pretty good clip per book.
So I said, you know, I'm gonna create my own publishing company. Um, and I, I did that and I'm gonna continue to sell on Amazon and, uh, so just. I decided to write more in different style and, uh, really found my voice about the third or fourth book where I enjoy that. Here's a story about my life, here's observations about it, and comedy and satire with that of, uh, a lot of cuss words and, uh, probably not for a g-rated audience.
Right. And, and looking at the list of books you've written, I really like, uh, this one obviously 'cause of the Play on words. An urban legend in the making. What's that? That's about kind of a biography or how would you describe it? Yeah, the, uh, um, so the, um, my, obviously my name is, uh, Robert Urban and, uh, so getting robbed was, there's a, I have a very.
Unique perspective on the world, you know, on people. And, uh, um, just the way that I see things so that it was stories that illuminated how I see things. And so that's was getting robbed. And, you know, I'm probably never gonna be, you know, some big time rich and famous, but I thought it'd be interesting of, Hey, here's how I think, here's how I see the world, and, you know, let me bring you along for the ride with that.
So that's a, that's where that, that came from. Am I, uh. My next book is actually out, uh, November 10th. It's called The Best Book ever written. And, uh, so my, my daughter's nine years old. She goes, well, is it people $15 for the opportunity to find out if it is or not? And she said, well, what if they don't?
What if they don't like it? What if they don't think it's the best book ever written? I said, well, thank you for the money and you have your right to your opinion for after you read it. So I'm looking forward to the success of that one as well. Right. And then you have my rollercoaster life, and that's another biography.
Yeah. Uh, just ups and downs and, you know, the, like in a long enough timeline, I, I believe that all of us, we, we have triumphant moments and we have heroic moments, and we have absolute failures, you know, and that, so understanding of why did this happen for us instead of to us and looking at certain events through my childhood, through my youth, through even as an adult, some great choices that I made and some, uh, all of my books, uh, are not some.
Complex, novel and biography. It's it's little, uh, vignettes and digest stories of, you know, 20 or 30 stories about my life. You know, maybe five or 10 pages of, of a specific thing that I found humorous or eventful or momentous. So my rollercoaster life was really that. It was like, uh, you know, throughout that course when I gave my diatribe about my history.
I'd also been eng engaged. I'd been married and divorced. And then after that I was engaged twice to where, um, both of them, both of my fiances were killed in different accidents. Hey, you, you think that life can't be any lower and sometimes the rug's pulled out from underneath you and you find out that it can, and uh, you don't know how you go on and just keep moving forward and life gets better.
And so that was sort of the crux of the roller. My rollercoaster life is just. It's ups and downs and just, you just gotta make the most of the ride that we're on, right? And these books are all standalone. A person could pick up any one of them and read it on its own. Yeah, AB absolutely. I I call it the perfect airplane ride or a, or a restroom book of, not only can you pick any of them up, but also you could flip to any of the pages started a new chapter and not, nothing's really sequential.
There is a, there is a, a anthropo, if you go through the books and you know, I've got eight published now that you understand my life and that it, it's, it's sort of a. It's very interesting whenever someone who's read my books comes up and talks to me because they're, yet, they know all these very intimate and personal things about my life, the thoughts of, Hey, I love when you did this, and I have to remind myself that they know that story through the book and not because of the event.
So the, uh, it takes 'em getting used to whenever that, uh, that stranger recognizes you in public. Right, right. Almost a, a little famous. And speaking of your responsibilities nowadays. Also know that it says you're the founder of the Urban Survival Academy, a survival school based in Florida. So what role does that play in your life and what are your goals with that?
I always toyed around with the training that the military gets in some of the schools that it gets is fantastic, but there's a lot of people who have no interest in the military whatsoever, who would still like to do some of that same same things of, you know, can I survive? Uh, and right whenever I was transitioning out of the Marine Corps was about the same time that the, the prepper movement really started coming in.
Uh, you know, people were, were still. Man, Y 2K didn't happen, but I still wanna be prepared. And, you know, just war and rumors of war and, and threats and people wanting to have more of that. So that was the impetus of it. I was like, you know, let me start something that I, that I think is interesting and it was a side hustle.
I bought a huge property of land. And, uh, a second component of that was I had some very, very dear friends that were, you know, Navy Seals or, you know, experienced infantry platoon guys and they're working at Walmart. I'm like, man, you've got so much experience and this depth of thing, and they just hadn't cracked that opportunity yet, or they were told no.
And you know, there were war fighters. And so I contacted a few of them and said, Hey, I'm looking for people that have expertise in X, Y, Z, and uh, I need some instructors. I'll write all the curriculum, I'll do all the paperwork. I'll create the foundation. I'll buy the land and the equipment, and we.
Initially we're, we're going to sell just to the public of saying, Hey, here's some classes. Bring your kid out and do this and have some fun. And while we still did that, there's a lot of corporations that looking for team building exercises or uh, foot tight people. And so, Hey, let me go on this adventure to Alaska and do cold weather survival after.
A couple weeks of a cold, cold weather survival class. And, uh, there's also non-government operations and government operations, which are the Urban Survival Academy trains and, and, uh, helps their people. We're not engaged in any sort of operations ourselves. We're not consultants or contractors. I. We're just instructors.
And, uh, so going in and, uh, and teaching the people that are in harm's way, Hey, here's perhaps the best way to do this. So I'm, I'm more operational on the side Now. I've actually, sadly, uh, you know, there was an incident where someone, uh, made national news where he took his girlfriend to, uh, part of the Everglades and she, she went missing and they, they couldn't find him.
And I was a guest on CNN talking about survival and some of the other things, and. I told him, I said, someone without experience in that environment, he's dead. And uh, the fact that they found his body he'd committed suicide a couple weeks later reinforced a little bit of my expertise. And so I'm often called on about, you know, what are some survival, what are some, some aspects, even with the pace of the world and some of the really scary things.
Whenever people watch the news of the, I'm getting constant, what if this were to happen? Or how do you do this? Or What did you to do this? To the point to where even if someone wanted a class right now. I have 23 instructors and we are completely full until 2020 until mid 20, 24 right now. So the, uh, I don't want to grow much.
Um, you know, just because it takes a lot of time. When my son was younger and I could travel and go with him, it was great. But now I'm older and injured. Old injuries hurt more and, uh, I do more of the signing checks and talking on the phone than anything else. But I feel like being out in the woods shooting guns and teaching people how to do that.
Right. And what would you say, obviously a lot of that. You know, stems from your marine training and stuff that helped you. What else from your time in the military do you feel like has translated into the civilian world or really helped you out? I, I think responsibility. You, you know, the, uh, even at a very, very micro level, you know, the, when you're some boot, you still have a lot of responsibility of being, uh, Hey, you gotta take care of this.
You have to look at the whole picture. You have to plan and execute a strategy. I. I found that in corporate America there was a lot of people who either were afraid of responsibility, never had the experience of responsibility, didn't want the mantle of responsibility, and uh, so being able to be at the forefront where you took the risk of leadership, also allowed for the reward of leadership to where.
Hey, you know, here's, here's some decisions and here's things. Here's some ways how to do it. I, I really believe to be a great leader, you had to be a great follower at one time. One of the things that the military does well is that, yes, it does make great followers as well, but if it's doing it right, you're, and you're.
Embracing what, what it teaches you're, you're becoming a leader as well. And I think that's one thing that corporations are sadly, uh, sadly often miss the mark on. If you have a fantastic worker, someone who's just sharp and brilliant, and instead of promoting him, instead of giving him new opportunities, a lot of management will keep him down because they don't wanna lose their star player, you know, or they give them excess work from other people.
And, uh, just really ride that, ride that horse until he breaks. And, uh, so I think the, I think the military allowed me to be able to see, hey, you know, I want other people to be successful and I want to share in their success. And, you know, springboard that. And if you're, you want the people underneath you to become better than you were in any role, you know, and to, whether that's as a parent, whether that's as a worker or, you know, almost any other avenue of, so I, I think the military gave me that springboard for that.
And, uh. And, you know, the, just living and operating with thousands of other people through my military career allowed me to understand the psychology of, of humanity as well. Of what makes people tick. What, you know, why are they, how, what's their different communication styles? How are they, how are they involved?
How do they. How are they motivated? You know, what slows 'em down and be able to identify and communicate with a large amount of people and, uh, being able to make decisions on that quickly of, even if it's the not the best decision. I'm, I'm not afraid of making any, any decision when sometimes other people are right.
And that's something important. Now, just wanna make sure that I'm tracking this correctly. So you're the CEO of a marketing agency called Pay per Boat. Now you created that, uh, marketing agency. Yeah, so the, uh, um, the, I wanted to be able to have all the publishing rights of any sort of media that I did.
Uh, you know, the, when I, when I wrote my first book, I was like, oh, I bet a lot of people are looking for publishers or how to, uh, you know, create their own book or how to write that. But it really transformed into more of a, um, a marketing of a full marketing agency to where, you know, I would find clients and, and say, Hey, I can either find the right people for you, um, almost like a marketing staffing firm, or we can do the project internally as well.
Um, and it was right when social media started, uh, coming out with, hey. How do you communicate on a social nature? How does social behavior guide decision and actions and thoughts and, uh, so paper Boat is a sole proprietary, it's just me. I have a few, uh, fortune 500 clients on, on retainer that use me as a, as a strategic consultant.
And, uh, you know, just talk about, Hey, here's, here's who your consumers are, here's the best way to market to them, you know, helping on a strategic level. And very often, you know, the. People get lost in minutia of, uh, tools or technology, or, Hey, here's the next Instagram, or, Hey, use these threads or use this instead of realizing that at the end of the day, all people want is, is good communication.
You know, whatever platform that is, is secondary to how do you, how do you reach people? How do you make 'em feel important, you know, and how do you truly value them? One of the, one of the, the jobs that I did not get that I interviewed for, they said, Hey, uh, you know, I took a personality test. They said, sir, you're really a people person.
I said, oh, absolutely. You know, I, I love building relationships and fostering those and, and bringing the best out and others, and, uh, you know, it's gone well. And they said, uh, thanks for coming in. You're not the type of person that we, that we like to hire. And I, and I thought about. 'cause a lot of companies are very, Hey, you're gonna be told no and you're going to irritate people.
And you know, that's, that's sort of the old school mentality for the thought process of, of sales of, you know, almost irritate 'em into saying yes. And, uh, so Paper Boat was a direct competitor to them, and I almost put them out of business by what I believe is the right way. Treating people right. You know, and if you, if you put people over profits, the profits will come.
I've always believed that, you know, you take care of people. You do what you're, you do what you say, what you're gonna do, and there's no magic in a lot of things that anybody does. It's just you're not taking shortcuts when you're putting effectively. And I think that's the key. That's a lot of keys to success in businesses that people are missing out.
No, I completely agree with that. I remember when I worked in the restaurant industry, they always like, you know, upsell the customer, upsell the customer, try to get them to buy more, try to get them to this. And I was always like, no, look, they're here to have a good time. If they have a good time and they don't see this giant check and realize that, hey, that waiter, you know, kind of tricked me into getting all these side dishes or these substitutes for extra money, I'm not gonna wanna come back.
And I was always like, just conversating with them and, and having a friendly relation. Yeah, no, that, that you, you nailed it on the head of, you know, give the atmosphere and, and, and even that's what I think like. Our, our society is very selfish now, and even businesses are, Hey, make it about me instead of make it about them.
You know? So just like whenever you worked in the restaurant industry, if they have a good time, they're gonna spend my, Hey, I'm having a good time. There's no pressure, there's no, you know, here, I'm here with friends. I'm enjoying good food and beverages. And the money will come, you know, and the, if maybe not that night, hey, I had a good experience that, you know, my waiter wasn't like the other guy that was super pushy.
Let's go back there. You know, and you have multiple recurring revenue streams instead of just that single shot. So glad you had that, uh, positive experience and I'm sure that you made some people's experience better yourself. Right. And it's something since I've recently started bar hopping that I've discovered is a lot of times, first off, I drive everyone, so I try not to drink too much in the night in general, but there's a lot of times where.
The people I'm with will get a, a few drinks and then I'll just be having a water. And there's a lot of times where bartenders have, you know, given me these dirty looks or, or an attitude because I'm not buying alcohol yet. And it's like they kind of push me away from wanting to buy anything. You know, I'm, I'm just taking my time.
I wanna start off slow and, you know, if I feel like I'm having a good time and I want to have a drink, I will. But instead I get this atmosphere where the bartenders are like, you should not be allowed here if you're not gonna immediately buy alcohol. And that I. Has no way to, you know, run a business. And, and again, with the interviewing people, I feel like nowadays it's so check boxed and, and we talked about this recently, uh, on a previous episode too, how it's just so robotic and, and systematic and it's about the business more than the people, and it's more about not who they are.
I agree. So with your marketing agency, since you're the CEO. Do you ever perform interviews? And if you do, you know, what are some advice, what are some advice you have for people looking to hire people and, and what do you look for? The, uh, um, I, I have a lot of people that, uh, that trust my perspective, um, when looking at, Hey, is this the right person for this job?
Or, you know, even for contracts or projects that I'm in, I do a lot of board member stuff to where, uh, some of the board members are so escalated that they, they're surrounded by people that often have say yes. And so they don't know if that's really the, the right answer sometimes. And so they hire a consultant like me that.
Hey, this isn't the best thing, or this, this isn't the best person, or, you know, whatever. You know, let's, let's refine that process and become good at it. And you know, you mentioned something in the back episode, which I absolutely agree with of people are very transactional and it's, Hey, you know this single time and I did this and I made this much money and we did this.
If you look, when you're looking at hiring someone, instead of transactional successes, look at relational successes. Hey, we had this guy that just really wasn't open to. New vendors or new sources or whatever, and, uh, was just polite to him and, you know, never put any pressure on him. Talked to Polite, and he finally called me up and gave me an opportunity and said, Hey, you know, I appreciate that, uh, you never put yourself on me.
I've got a need. Um, can you help me out with that? You know, that, show people that you're good instead of telling 'em that and it'll go, go wonders. And when you're interviewing people, one of the things that I always look from a, um, one of the things that we teach at the school is a, a lot of. Uh, hostage negotiation or interpretation or neurolinguistic programming you is how people, uh, if you're trying to get a job or if you're interviewing someone for a job, lean in, attentive that you're forward, that you're interested.
Um, you know, a lot of people don't have the right posture to look interested, and so even in a, if you're out on a date, you're looking and they're leaning forward, that's usually a positive sign that they're interested in, uh, in what you're talking about or who you are. So I always look for the lean.
Right. And speaking of, you know, leadership qualities and views, what are some of the, the best and worst leaders you've had when you were serving in the military? What were some of those great traits and, and, and bad traits? 'cause. Anyone who served has known, you know, knows that your chain of command is what makes or breaks the experience.
And we've all had some really toxic leadership that didn't care about you. And then you've, we've all had some great leadership that really inspired you. So what's your experience with those? Yeah, one of the. Finest Marines and, and best leaders, and most just the best people that I, that I've ever known, uh, was a gentleman by the name of Travis Twigs and, uh, to the point where he was the best man at my wedding.
My son's godfather, he's killed himself since then. He. One of the funniest things, like I said, I was 17 years old when I went in and he was my very first platoon sergeant, uh, down in Cuba. And uh, on the very first day that he checked in, he goes, you know, I'm gonna keep you alive. I'm gonna teach you all cool stuff.
He's talking to the platoon and he goes, we can do it one in two ways for anything that we do, guys, we can do it my way. Or we can do it my mother effing way. And I always thought that was just the best leadership quote ever. So the, uh, he was fantastic, but what made him a good leader? You know, yes, he was funny and charismatic, but he was also right there in the trenches.
And a great leader is never gonna do anything for, is never gonna ask you to do anything that he hasn't done or that he isn't willing to do. Um, you know, I got promoted, uh, extremely fast and, uh, within a couple years. He and I were, were both platoon sergeants and we're, we're drinking one time. Just a, a funny story about leadership.
We're, we're drinking one time and it's all enlisted on one side and one of the, and some of the officers on the other. And we're getting plastered and, uh, twigs goes, Hey, urban, uh. I love you, man, but can I tell you something? I said, yeah, go, go ahead. He goes, well, you're one ugly son of a gun. I said, I know, man.
And, and I said, can you help me? And he punches me and breaks my nose right there. That has nothing to do with leadership. It was just funny. So the, uh, um, we're laughing. I got blood coming down my nose and it's, you know, obviously broken and hurts to this day. And I, I said, uh, you know what twigs? I said, uh, can I tell you something?
He goes. Yeah, sure. Go ahead. And I said, well, you're one ugly son of a gun too. And he goes, can you help me? So I popped him in the nose and broke his nose and we're just bleeding and laughing. Just young, stupid and drunk. When one of the, one of the company commanders comes over and goes, guys, there's some wives at this barbecue that, uh, our little taken back.
My friend goes, Hey, sir, uh, I, we heard you understand. Do you mind if I tell you something? Uh, you're.
You know, having that humor that. I believe humor is a big part of leadership, but you know, I've had some incredibly toxic as well. Uh, one of the toxic things that I've seen, especially in the military, is that almost anything you do is a unified effort. Um, and people taking credit of, in the Marine Corps specifically, it's.
Mission first and people second, you know, and, uh, sometimes, hey, the mission is so important. They, that they get wrapped up, that they forget. There's people with people's lives and, you know, feelings and relationships in there. We had a, a company commander who we, we called him Captain America. This guy was just.
Better than anybody at running, swimming, everything. And, uh, he was a complete jerk. And, uh, I remember one whenever we were deploying, you know, we, we go make our way to some ships and his wife's crying and he goes, officers wives don't cry in front of all the men. And it was just. Wow, that's, that's how you're gonna leave your wife for six months.
Like, it was just, just a kickback of, at the end of the day, no matter what your title is, whether you're a bartender or a boardroom member, is that you're still a human being and so are all the people that work for you and underneath you, and to value their perspective, value their lives, value their beliefs, and, and understand them as a person and be able to get a lot more from them whenever you believe in somebody.
Right. I totally agree with that. I mean, the, the believing in someone is important. You know, I, I've had some leaders that discouraged me to the point of, you know, I don't, you know, they want me to not believe in this country or our mission or the people we work with. And either they create this environment where you're on your own.
They say, don't trust anyone, you know, no one here is your brother or sister or ally. You know, we're all enemies. And then I've had leaders who made us seem like such a family, and it's really. Made or broken. The experience I had at any, you know, any part of the service I was in the chain of command really made or made or broke the experience.
And one thing I always bring up that that was so negative was I had leaders who were like, if you don't have it worse than us, we don't care. You know, if things can be better, we're just not gonna do it. Because there was a time where I said, Hey. We can change the schedule so that instead of having a 24 hour shift every two or three days, we could have it every five to six days.
We have the manpower for it, we have the schedule for it. And my boss was just like, you guys don't have it worse than me. Why? Why would I care? You know, y'all don't need to have it better. And for me, it's like we're supposed to want better for the people around us and for the people who are gonna replace us.
And at least that's my 2 cents on that. No, the, the com completely agree. You know, one of the things that I, I saw in the military often was you had some old kg gunnery sergeant or some company commander that was a divorced, broken, you know, and the, the Marines were the only thing that he had. Right. And so he didn't care if he got you at field day until 2300, you know, or like he had nothing to go to home to himself of, to live outside and other than the Marine Corps.
And so he made sure that none of his men did as well. And so I've seen that be very toxic and different units. And last thing, I, I talked to, uh, a Sergeant Major, a friend of mine who's still in, he is a sergeant Major. And I said, you know, what's one of the biggest differences between now and whenever we were in with their, uh, smartphones because they're able to call their families, you know, when we're non-operational and, uh, you know, back in the rear and they're just calling every time instead of hanging out with their friends and brothers and that becoming their new family.
They never, they never left. And, you know, it siloed. And he said, so the unit cohesion in the brotherhood. It is very, very different, you know, and so I go back and forth. I would've loved to, you know, call a few people while I was deployed, but absolutely saw his point about, you know, that you don't have that same depth of unity, um, whenever you're only relying on each other, you know, and maybe talk to your family every couple months when you hit a port or you know, whenever the operational tempo slows down a little bit.
So I thought that was interesting. It is really interesting. You're actually the first person to bring up that kind of view here on the show, and I think that's. Definitely something to think about. You know, definitely a whole conversation on its own because I remember, you know, when I went to bootcamp, we, we weren't allowed to have our cell phones, but then when, maybe a year or two into the service, I was hearing that people in the Air Force had their phones on, at least on weekends, and they were, you know, FaceTiming and calling home.
I remember for me, I had to wait. I had to get money on a card and if our division did good enough, we would get maybe 15 minutes, 30 minutes and we could swipe the card if, if we had money and, and call back home. So it's definitely, everything is definitely changing all the time. I. Yeah. The, you know, and the, the battlefield should not be a place for any sort of social experiments and ideas and Right.
You know, ideologies, but, you know, that's a much deeper conversation for a different time. Right. Well, I think we've discussed a lot today, Mr. Urban, about your books, about your military service, about what you currently do, and there's gonna be links in the description below to all of your content for everyone in the audience to take a look at it.
Highly recommend it. I wanna thank you for your service to this country as well as coming on the show today, making the time to talk to us. Thank you, Mr. Urban. Sounds great. Thanks for having me.
