Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Couple of Nukes. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey. But not as always is it that special time of year, the holiday season seems to get longer every year. Now it's from Halloween until Valentine's Day, according to some of my neighbors. It used to be from, you know, from December 1st to, you know, Christmas Day.Actually, at some point, it was just 12 days of Christmas. Now it's It's almost 12 months of Christmas in some stores, but yeah, we're here because the holidays are a great time for people to get together, but they can be an awful time for many. So we're going to talk about, you know, reaching out to those people, our loved ones, our friends, our family, our neighbors who don't do so well around the holiday season.And we've got a lot on today's agenda. It's going to be a packed episode. We're going to be addressing Sierra alpha delta also known as sad seasonal affective disorder talking about how that really plays into today's world And how there's a lot of people just claiming to have it online Of course, just like any condition we see it becoming a social media trend, but we're going to talk about You know why it affects certain people how the holidays and family trauma can play into that We're going to end the episode with My pitch on what holiday we should celebrate and why And it's going to be one that most of y'all have not heard of it is a pretty old ancient holiday I think it's still in practice today though.Not as much if at all And so i'm excited for that. We're also going to go over some good and bad christmas stories I'm here with anna murby who I owe a public apology to She has been on the show before. I've also been on her show. We've also both been on Johnny T's show, Refuge Freedom Stories. Shout out to him.But yeah, he's not dead. I pointed out like, yeah, he's not dead by the way. He's still with us, God willing. But that being said, ladies and gentlemen, In my last episode with her, which you can find, I'm going to have it linked up here and in the description below the tragic, women's porn addiction episode, very heart wrenching, but very necessary conversation.Uh, I kept calling her Anna Murby because she did not, she said her name properly in her introduction and I just, Went in one ear and out the other. While editing the episode, I heard it, and then I was really embarrassed, but um, it It, I could not try to sneakily voice over it because I was so sick during that episode as I always am when I record with Anna.If you check out her show this spring, you will hear that I was also sick. But I'm healthy enough today and we're gonna get into it. So, Anna, Merry Christmas. I know it's not your favorite time of year, so let's get into why it's such a sick Joyous time for many. Why is it not a joyous time for you? Well for those who are watching I am wearing my Grinch sweater.Well, it's not really mine. It's my son's but anyway That's what my family calls me is the Grinch and as long as they're referring to the newest one Then I really don't care because I I really like that Grinch movie. That's probably the only christmas movie. I like and I actually uh to out myself. I do watch that movie more than just at Christmas time because I really like it.It's funny, especially the scene where he's emotionally eating. It's funny. Anyways, uh, I, I, I'm the kind of person who doesn't want Christmas to start until December 1st. I at least tell my family, you can start Christmas decorating or whatever after the turkey is dead, because he dies for his holiday, give him his holiday.That's my slogan and pitch for, you know, leave Thanksgiving alone, you can celebrate Christmas the whole month of December, just let the turkey die. But it, Christmas time is hard for me. My whole family loves it. My kids love it. My husband loves it. They enjoy decorating the tree, which I don't usually participate in.And they like listening to the Christmas music. The only time I will listen to Christmas music is if, if I'm in control of what we're listening to, because I only like the stuff from the forties or earlier. The really old school style I like. I definitely don't like the newer stuff. I worked at Gap before I started having children, before I was married.Not a sponsor. Yeah, no, no, but I worked at Gap Kids, which was worse because the Christmas music was on repeat all day and it was sucky Christmas music. Was it like the kid's bop version? Something like that, but they also had some, I don't know if it was the, no, it was just Paul McCartney, his most famous Christmas song, I don't even want to try to sing it because it's already stuck in my head, just saying Paul McCartney, and you probably already know which one it is anyways because I see you smirking, but I can't stand that song, I can't stand that song, and the newer stuff just stinks, don't get me started on Mariah Carey, but anyway, I digress.I, you know what, I don't mind Mariah Carey. Uh, when I worked at an Italian restaurant, uh, cause I've, I've worked at a couple of restaurants. Every like third or fifth song, they would play this Hawaiian Christmas song, and I just hate that song. Now, for those of you watching, Uh, you can see that I'm sitting on a tropical beach, so that's ironic, but um, and in the winter time, but I just hate that Hawaiian Christmas song.Nothing against Hawaiian people. I love y'all. I wish we would rebuild your island, but that's a political conversation. But, that being said, I can't stand that. It's like, I can't even say, I don't, I don't even know the name of the song. It's like, I think I know which, yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I thought.Definitely did not say that right, I don't speak Hawaiian, but, and I try to tune it out because that song, they would just play that like every three or five songs. Have you heard the hippo song? I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Yeah, one of my kids. I think it's my eight year old. I think she likes it Or maybe it was my five year old.I can't remember my husband told me it was like, oh that song sucks Uh, I guess I I was thinking i'm quite the opposite of you Anna. I um this christmas, uh to save me from tears No this christmas See what I did there this christmas I decided to look up Trap remix and hip hop Christmas music. And, um, some of it was really, it was a very different culture, uh, than, than the normal Christmas music, but it was funny.It was entertaining. It was something different. I said, I'm tired of listening to the same Christmas songs. Let me see what's out there. Um, it was a little too edgy, so to speak. Some of the, um, the hip hop Christmas music, it wasn't the style I was looking for. So the trap remixes, which ended up just being.Actually, you would like it, Anna, because I know you're an electronic music creator. Uh, it was kind of just that style. Actually, you made some electronic remix Christmas, um, holidays tracks that I've listened to. So I've been listening to more of that stuff where it still gets me in the spirit. I'm still hearing the old lyrics, but they're a little bit remixed around.But without anything too modern. It's still that classic. You know, lyricism with a modern techno style. So it's something a little different and we'll see what I'll do for next Christmas. So, uh, quite the opposite of going to the 40s only. Yeah. Well, I've never This is reminiscent for you of your childhood and I, I can respect that.My childhood, how old do you think I am? For those of you listening, you can try to guess how, how old Ana is. You might not, a lot of people get it wrong, which is flattering. So I'll take it. But a lot of people call me 12. So it's unflattering when people get my age wrong. We had, we had the opposite issues, but when I get to your age, maybe it will be flattering for me.I'm sure it will. Yeah. But, um, Yeah, so I know before we started recording here, you brought over your little friend for those of us who are listening, not watching. You have a Santa with unnerving eyes, as I would describe them, almost like googly eyes, but they're kind of just fixed. In place. Cute Santa, uh, to some of us.What is, how does he play into all of this, your hatred for Christmas? Well, hatred might be a strong word. In our family we don't usually use the word hate, we say strongly dislike. But anyways. Your Christmas resentment. Yes, my, my Baham bug spirit, I guess. Well, this guy is a smaller version of a Santa that I used to have as a child.Very small. I had one that was probably about the size of a five year old. a big big Version of this and I had that all throughout my childhood that I can think of Um, I don't know how long it had been in my family before that because it's an older looking thing So it could have been from the moment. I was born.It could have been something that you know Was in my family before that. Yeah, it could have been I don't even know I don't know how long it was in my family. I just know that from My earliest memories, I remember he was involved in them, and I don't remember if I was ever a big Santa person who loved Santa, all that stuff.I just know that I loved that Santa. I loved hugging it, even though I could never get my arms around it because it was so big, but it just was always there for the holidays, and I When my parents split up when I was 12, I was bounced between two different houses. And my dad had this, and it would still come out during Christmas time.But at some point, when I got married to my first husband, we I was living with my dad, actually, I think it was During my separation, I was living with my dad and it was in the garage in a box with a whole bunch of my other stuff. So then when I moved away to Connecticut, all that stuff was still in the garage.I didn't bring any of it. I, the way I moved, it was a pretty quick move. I moved a month or so before I expected to because of a situation I was trying to escape with regard to my first husband. So I just kind of moved and left stuff. I would get it later if I wanted. So time passed. I had fallen away from God.I was in my second marriage. I was in Connecticut. It was doing my own thing. My dad was getting ready to move out of there and he was moving somewhere else. He asked if I wanted anything out of the thing. Uh, years had passed. I didn't care, whatever. Dropped something. I didn't care about whatever was in there.I just didn't know, didn't remember none of it. So I just told him, you know, you can send it all to Goodwill or whatever. It's fine. I don't need it. I can't afford to get it out here. I don't know when I actually realized that Santa was in there and my dad never mentioned it, so I don't know, maybe he just really thought I didn't care or whatever, but at some point when I came back to Christ, I remembered that and I was immediately depressed.I just, That was like the only thing from my childhood that I truly loved seeing at Christmas time. It was a big part of my life, and it was gone, and I, there was no way I was gonna get it back. And I was very depressed about that for a long time, which was one of the reasons why I was just like, Christmas sucks.Aside from the fact Right. That, you know, since, since I was 12, I was bounced around between two houses, I had two different Christmases, I just, I never felt like I fit in, I didn't have that family experience the way I would have liked, you know, my mom didn't get to see me on this holiday, my dad, you know, whatever, it was just, I didn't like that feeling, and then on top of that, I was going to be doing it to my daughter, um, Because she was from a broken home and, you know, there were some holidays where she wasn't going to be around because she was going to visit her dad in California and she'd be gone for the Christmas break.So it's just, I just was starting to feel what's the point in celebrating Christmas? It's supposed to be for family. I can't afford to buy them gifts. I can't afford this. I don't get to see her. So it just kind of started zapping my desire. to celebrate Christmas. And on top of that, my favorite decoration is gone because I was stupid and I didn't take the time to think what was in there.I lost some other special stuffed animals to me too. And some that would probably be worth money now, some toys and stuff. So it was like, I was just really overall depressed at that point. And at some point, When I was with my husband, I'm with now, I had told him that story that that's the main reason why I hate Christmas a lot is because of the brokenness that's involved in my family.And I lost my Santa. And I said that just I always enjoyed seeing that. And I wanted to pass down to my kids because I know they would have loved it. And I was foolish and I lost it. Like, I just was beating myself up about it. So, um, I don't know if it was last year or maybe it was the year before, but he gave me a Christmas gift.My husband gave me a Christmas gift and it was this guy, this little tiny version of the one I had. He thought it was this small, the original. I was like, oh no, it was a big guy. I was like, but I like this one. It's easier to pack away. Right. As soon as I opened that package, I just started crying.Immediately just started crying. It brought back my childhood. It showed how much he cared and it just. gave me a happiness. Like I, I actually slept with that thing. I don't sleep with stuffed animals. Okay. I'm a grown woman, but I did sleep with it that night. Cause I just, I really loved it. And it brought back my childhood and it meant so much to me.So now every time Christmas comes, my kids go, Oh, it's your favorite decoration. They'll hand it to me. And then I just start smiling. And. I wouldn't say, um, you know, my heart has grown two sizes, or whatever, like the Grinch, or whatever. But, I have a slight sliver of Christmas spirit because of this. Yeah, there you go.And also because I know that it's not about presents, it's not about Santa and all this stuff, and that there's another reason why I don't like Christmas is because of everyone's obsession with Santa Claus. I always say it's Satan in disguise, if you switch the letters around, what does it spell? You know?And it's ironic because my favorite decoration is a Santa, but There's more to it. It's not Santa. It's not like I'm worshiping him. It's not that I'm obsessed with him. It's what he signifies to me. But a lot of people have lost the meaning of Christmas or what it. I guess it's supposed to be. I have friends who would say that, you know, they've got their Christmas conspiracies.It's like, I don't even want to open that can of worms. I already got my own reasons why I don't like it. I don't need others. I don't need historically factual or not factual ones. I already got my own, but there's, There's just something about how it's been commercialized that has really sucked my desire to want to celebrate it, too.Like you said, it used to be like 12 days of Christmas, and then it used to just be December, and now it creeps up on us as soon as the leaves start falling. And it's like, whoa, you guys, chill out. There's, there's I mean, I don't really call Halloween a holiday, but there's technically, there's two holidays before December and then people start counting down.And I can't wait till I listen to my Christmas music. My decorations are up. It's like, chill out, chill out. It's literally two days, maybe that you can actually celebrate. Why do you have to go that crazy? You still have to take it all down the next day in my world. That's what I think is the day after Christmas.You better take those things. But. I'm Latinx with my family. I just don't get involved in the preparations. I don't get involved in the teardown. I'm not involved in it. My family doesn't expect me to be. And, you know, whether they like that or not, I don't honestly know. My kids haven't really asked, but I just, there's just something about it.I'm just not in the spirit of it. And perhaps it's depression. And I mean, when it comes to depression, like you said, there's a lot of people online who try to use it to their advantage. Maybe they have it, maybe they don't. But I do believe that seasonal depression is a thing. Do I believe you need to be medicated for it?No. I believe Jesus can help you and, like you said, reaching out to those who are dealing with it. In a way that's helpful for them, I think could be very beneficial because this time of year does have some positives, but it's also got some negatives. I have a friend who lost both her parents around Thanksgiving.You know, they, they died during Thanksgiving kind of a thing. And it's like, those things are heartbreaking. There's people who are dealing with real trauma during this time of year, and they don't need to hear all these happy go lucky. Songs and everything and talk about, Oh, what gifts are you giving? Are you going to eat Christmas cookies?Come to my Christmas party. They don't want these things. They just, they feel down. They want to be alone. They're going through whatever they're going through and maybe they don't want to share it because. They don't want to dampen your Christmas spirit, but maybe you need to get off your Christmas pedestal and go down to them and help them out of that.And then maybe they can go to your Christmas party or eat your cookies or whatever, watch your cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies or whatever, you know? I mean, there's, there's so many people hurting during this time of year and they, they need to be seen because. I don't know the statistics about it, but I'm pretty sure, yeah, suicide is high during this time of year and that really breaks my heart because I wouldn't say I've been suicidal during Christmas time.But I have been depressed for a long time, and I'm pretty sure that's one of the main reasons why I have zero desire to be involved in Christmas and can't wait until the day after so I can pretend or not pretend that I care about Christmas anymore. You know, it's it's like, yeah, I'm done. I think that the whole construction of the Christmas holiday in Santa to me that just proves that Adults, the government, and parents can lie to us about something and we can believe it.And, you know, so it's like, if, I'm going to say it because this isn't a kids show, if Santa is fake, if Santa is all a lie the whole Christmas holiday, what else are they lying to us about that we've believed, and that we still believe? I just recently heard that on a podcast, um, for the gospel, Kosti Hinn, he just said that exact same thing, and that, that really got me.Not that I tell my kids about Santa, my kids know Santa's not real. My eldest told some lady in the store one time, cause she's like, oh, are you ready for Santa? And she's like, no, Santa's not real. And the woman looked at me like, like, how could you? And she kind of shrugged. And I'm like. Yeah, I just shrugged.I was like, When it comes to my kids, I have honest Christian conversations with them. Yes. And so they, you know, know the truth. And yeah, it's definitely got me thinking, you know, Um, we only know what we know. You know, unless you went out there and anyway, that's a whole side tangent, but well, we tell our kids about not santa claus We tell him about saint nick that he was a person who was real And you know, we share the story of what he did But that you know this thing they call santa now is not him That he's not an omnipresent person.That's only jesus and We, we remind them it's not about presents, you know, those are gifts that, you know, we don't need. You don't need these things. That's not what it's about. And my kids know it on paper, but do they know it in their hearts? I don't know. Maybe at some point they will. But they're still young yeah, I mean I get it I when I was a kid I'm pretty sure I enjoyed getting all my presents too, but at some point, you know when you're just getting clothes Maybe that's when you're you're starting to have I don't know.I don't know. I just know now I would be happy with clothes That's what I'm saying. I want kitchen appliances Give me a gift card for groceries. Yeah. No, I mean it's It's funny, when you're a kid, you want these toys, you're so excited for it, and then at some point, they stop giving you those as much, and they'll give you, you know, maybe you'll get clothes from somebody, and you're like, I don't want that.Savings bonds that you try to cash in later, and then it says that the government had changes and they're not worth as much. Not talking from personal experience. Anyway, Anna, I have to address something. I have to address something. You are a woman who, as you introduced yourself in the last episode of my show you were on, who likes to make You know juices at home and custom granola bars from hand, but you're telling me that you are in the kitchen baking up scratching up some homemade Healthy christian mom cookies for the holiday season.I Am not really that big of a dessert person. I I tried gingerbread. I tried gingerbread making gingerbread. I Had such a hard time doing it. It's so difficult dirty work. It's frustrating. I just couldn't do it. I will give a shout out to my friend. She's really good at it. She made me some one time while I was pregnant.I had posted that I just was craving gingerbread and then like, you know, An hour later, she was at my door with some fresh gingerbread. I was like, that's a good friend right there. Yeah, it was delicious And I would totally pay her to make me gingerbread That's how much I don't like to make gingerbread but like to eat it.I do like gingerbread at christmas time I don't like sugar cookies. I certainly don't like frosting. It's gross. No snickerdoodles Mmm. I used to really like them, but I'm not. I knew it. I knew it. I don't, I don't really like dessert as much, and I don't know if it's just because I'm more conscious of what it'll do to me if I don't, you know, eat healthy or whatever.But I just, I don't really like cake. I don't like pie. I just. I like dark chocolate, so if it's got dark chocolate in it, I'll try it. I'm a brownie snob. It, if I'm gonna eat a brownie, it better taste like what I think a brownie tastes like, or you've just ruined my whole brownie experience. Okay, yeah, you have a certain texture.Yeah, and I can't explain what kind of brownies I like, because I don't even know what kind of texture it is that I like. I just know when I eat it. If I like it, I'll eat it. If not, then I'm like, here you go. You can have this to whoever's near me. But yeah, that's how much I miss. Fighting on holidays over brownies.Okay. Yeah. But no, I. I don't usually make desserts Not from scratch. I haven't actually tried if we're being honest because i'm not uh, well, we're honest christians having a conversation. So That's a reference everyone to anna's amazing show honest christian conversations where she tears down false theologies and practices and doctrines It's a pretty good show Uh, I would recommend it.In fact, I was on that show Uh more than once But in the future tense, because Ana is not every other day like my show is. Shout out to my show, but, uh, she is weekly and you can catch her once a week. So it's great though. Unless she has a mini sode. Sometimes she throws out a mini sode here and there. And, um, it's a good two to five minutes of listening to Ana.Yeah. Let's listen to you some more right here about, well, I was going to talk about Actually, I'm going to take back the mic. So we talked about the Sierra Alpha Delta and for me it was associated with lifestyle transitioning and what I mean by that is that I grew up where my time in the summer was spent in a different geographical location in New Jersey and what that came with was a different lifestyle and for me the depression was that losing that lifestyle.I remember one time My dad, I, we were, it was like our last day in Wildwood, New Jersey. Love that place. And he's like, this is it. Back to school. Uh, he would always sing this song. He was like, back to school, back to school. He would say like, uh, what is it? Um, he used to sing a song every time summer came.It was like, no more school, no more books, no more teachers, dirty looks, you know, whatever it is. And then he would do this back to school thing from this movie. But he was like, no more beach, no more sand. And he's just like, went on this little rant of everything that was going to be no more because summer was ending and everything that I didn't like that was going to be happening because it was fall time.I just started crying. I was like, I don't want to go back. Um, because my parents, you know, uh, between them in school, life was hell as a child. Um, but in the summertime at the Jersey shore, whether that was seaside or wild, wherever it was, um, it was very freeing. The beach has always been my happy place.You can see I'm on a beach right now, if you're watching. Um, so me, it was that transition of lifestyle and now that I'm older. I don't have that transition of lifestyle, because I live all my life in, well, I live two lives. But I live them both in the same place, and I don't have that as much, but there's still that focus on the, you know, not having family, not having, as much as you make fun of the Hallmark movies, I'd love to have that kind of Christmas, you know, that kind of town, where everyone comes out for the, you know, tree lighting, everyone is Me too!Christmas caroling door to door, where there's cookies, where, You know, there's hot frosties all of that, you know, it'd be it'd be great but I um, you know I had to and I love I have a couple neighbors here and I think this is really important Um, they do it where like open house on christmas eve So anyone who doesn't have a place they can come crash there and hang out for a while I've i've known some neighbors who do that for thanksgiving as well Where anyone who doesn't have family or friends or a place to go for the holidays?You They put it out to the island or to the town that they're welcome to go there. So it's great It's how I actually met all my neighbors Is because last Christmas Eve I had nowhere to go and I went with them and now they're my neighbors that I hang out with all the time, you know, um, They were born in the 40s actually, I know I'm not here a little bit after that but, you know, it's, uh, it's great but it's still, it's still rough, you know, like you said, it's like I'm listening, even though I've got my Electric Trap remix Christmas music, it's like I'm still listening to it by myself.You know, I've got, I've got my Christmas sweater with my dog's face on it and she's got her Christmas sweater Not with my face on it. That's that's in the works But it's still it can be very lonely and I've been on a couple shows and on my show talking about suicide statistics And yeah, historically evident that the holidays we see a spike in that and it is really sad So like you said making sure we see and hear those stories And it might not be obvious just like suicide throughout the year.Any other time of year, you know, you're not going to be able to see it necessarily. Uh, especially if a lot of people who are suicidal or depressed who aren't showing it. Or people pleasers or put on a facade especially around the holidays. It may be harder for them, but at the same time it might be Easier for them to to just smile and act like everything's all right so I definitely uh agree with all of that and Ana, what advice would you give for people as you've struggled for years now with with your depression?Would you say setting boundaries with your family and loved ones around the holidays? Is what has been most helpful or what are you still working on? Like what what can you discuss with that? Well, i've been pretty honest with my husband and he was honest with me, too Recently because neither of us if we're being honest this year were super pumped about christmas coming And that's weird to hear him say because he loves to celebrate christmas But this year was just kind of it snuck up on everybody for one You And we just didn't want to because we don't get to have those big family gatherings anymore because my family scattered throughout the United States.He's only got his mom. His brother is in Las Vegas and he's not doing so well, you know, so as we both got a little bit of that depression going right now because we don't get to have the big gatherings with family, our kids don't get to see their grandparents often. It's so different from what I grew up with, having my whole family together, my grandparents, my cousins, my aunts and uncles were all together all the time.Yeah. Like I had big family gatherings and now sometimes my kids I share custody with their dad and I don't get to see them. Like for example, my eldest I'm not gonna see her this Christmas. There's a lot to re why, you know, but I'm not gonna go sharing it with everybody because it's her personal stuff.But I won't be seeing her this year, and I, I don't think I saw her last Christmas either, and my son, I'll be sharing him with his dad this year. And, you know, it's, that's just part of what happens when you make certain life choices. And, at some point, you have to accept the life that you have created, for one, because this is something I created, I was divorced twice, I, You know, I came from a divorced family that was thrust upon me, yes, but sometimes you're dealt certain cards and you can't change them no matter what you try.There's just some things that are out of your power and you have to learn how to work through that. You can't just sit stale and stagnant, bitter, angry, depressed all the time. You have to find a way out of it because if you don't, then Satan's winning and I don't want Satan to win in my life. You Around Christmas, around any other time of year, I don't want him to win.So I have had to push through my desire to say, bah humbug, or I must stop Christmas from coming, like the Grinch, you know, and I'll watch Christmas movies with my family and. You know, I'll have my little Santa decoration in my room, and I'll have Christmas lights up. And I love Christmas lights. I don't mind going and looking at Christmas lights.If I'm warm enough, I'll go outside and walk around areas where there's Christmas stuff. Like you said, the Hallmark stuff. Honestly, I wouldn't mind having that kind of Christmas, where it's snowing and family's around, someone else made the Christmas cookies, you know, I'll try them. Right. You know, old school Christmas music.Brownies done right. Yes, exactly. I will do all that stuff. If, if I'm invited to a Christmas party and I'm able to go, I will go. If you know, I'm not opposed anymore to doing these things. I just I'm not going to host a Christmas party. I'm not going to have people come over and celebrate Christmas at my house because my house is small for one, but also just because I don't want the cleanup later.Call me lazy, whatever you want, but that's just me. I, I do like what you said about how your neighbors allow people to come over if they don't have anybody. I think that is a wonderful tradition and it's actually gotten, it's kind of sparking, maybe I should do something like that for those who may not really want to celebrate and they just want to hang out.You know like maybe you guys can come over to my house We call be anti Christmas at my house with some of my family who's not anti Christmas, you know It's like yeah, no pressure kind of Christmas time I think I think a lot of people put too much emphasis on this time of year and because of that they either forget Jesus or They put too much emphasis on that as well because there's been rumors that he wasn't born at this time of year.I don't know, whatever. I don't, I don't pay attention to all that. I just say, you know, maybe he wasn't. But I want to reflect this time of year on the fact that he was born. Because the Bible does say he was born. It doesn't tell us when, but it tells us he was born. So if this is when everyone has chosen to do that remembering, fine.I'm cool with that. So I try to emphasize more of that. But, I know I'm rambling. But it's This is actually a subject that I've never really taken the time to talk about and reflect on with anybody before. I mean, my husband, myself, nobody. I've never been able to pinpoint the main reason why I just really dislike this time of year now.It just feels like it's been a part of me for a while and I don't really know why or how to stop it. So now I just need to Except that this is who I am. I'm the Grinch, and I'm totally fine with that, but I'm the Grinch, kind of, towards the end, you know, I guess, where I'll still participate, but it's like, meh.You're not the Grinch who stole Christmas, you're the Grinch who had Christmas stolen from you. Eee, nice. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, I mean, I would just tell Two authors talking. Yeah, I would just tell people, you can't change your situation. You gotta find a way to make the best of it somehow. You don't want to just sit there in your cave all by yourself, bitter and angry, because of whatever did or didn't happen for you.You gotta figure out a way To push through that and to realize that somebody out there cares about you. Jesus. Yeah. Even aside from Jesus, there is somebody out there who cares about you, and you need to step out of your own self, your own depression, your own woe is me, and you have to look for that person.Think about who has paid you the most attention recently, and say, you know, it must be them. You know, how can I do something with that? And you just have to make the best of your situation because sometimes life is going to suck. It's going to hurt and you can't just sit there licking your wounds. You have to get back up and you have to do something about it because there's so many people out there who would be sad if you were gone.You may not think so, but that's because Satan's lying to you. There are people who are going to miss you. Someone's going to miss you. And At the end of the day, it's not worth it to take your own life, especially around a holiday that is so significant to a lot of people in a lot of different countries too.It's, Christmas is celebrated a lot of different places. It's not just here. I mean, we commercialize it a lot more, I think, than other countries, but you just got to find something during this time of year to hold on to. And to enjoy, to help you get through it. And then once you get through that, I think you'll see that life isn't as hard to handle during these times of year.Because you're not alone. I mean, look, I'm telling you, I've got a family, and they're obsessed with Christmas time, and I'm over here not obsessed with Christmas time. But I I'm still here, you know, I, I still make the best. You're here, you know, you've got people who care about you too, your neighbors are there for you, this, that is a wonderful tradition, it may not be the one you're expecting or the one you want, but you have that, you have people, God has blessed you with somebody, so that you don't have to be alone, it may not be blood family, but sometimes, not blood family is, you know, It's more significant than blood family.When I was going through my second divorce, my church family was my family. I mean, technically they still are because I don't have any other family here other than my mother in law and my direct family, but I mean, I don't, I don't go to Christmas parties anymore. Like I, I'm just at an age where I'm like, you know, I'll just stay home.I'm cool with that. You're at the age where if you dance too much at the Christmas party, you might break an elbow. But yeah. So, you know, you have this dislike for Christmas. We won't call it a Christmas phobia, but Phobias is the name of your new book that just came out yesterday as of this recording date.Check it out on Amazon for those late Christmas gifts. But, uh, shameless, shameless. Scary ones. My stepdad said I should have made it a pop up book. It's like, I don't think so. You know, I'll go into a little story here about how I really believed that Santa was real as a kid and that he could do anything.And every Christmas. I bagged and begged for, you know, especially in the background, you know, of my home and in my room for the Omnitrix. For those of you who aren't familiar with that, it's a watch like device worn by Ben Tennyson in the, Benjamin Tennyson to those, uh, you know, in the show Ben 10, uh, there's been a couple different ones, Omniverse, Alien Force, and it contained a DNA of Uh, every species of aliens in the universe, and he could use it to transform into those aliens.And every Christmas, because I thought Santa was real and could do anything, it was magic, I thought he could give me a watch full of alien DNA, and I could be the real Ben 10, only I wouldn't have called myself that. But yeah, I would have called myself Mr. Whiskey. Uh, you know, it was, it was, So disappointing because every Christmas I was like, this is the year I get to turn into aliens.Like, I dead serious, like, I was so excited for that. Like, I wanted that more than anything, was to be able to turn into aliens. And I don't even believe in aliens, which is the craziest part. But I was like, Santa can just get me their DNA, they don't have to be real. That's something you and I have in common.Yeah. So you also wanted to turn into aliens as a kid? No, I don't believe in them. Um, so one Christmas, I woke up. With a note from Santa, where my Nintendo DS used to be in my room. And Santa had, you know, crept into my room in the middle of the night and taken it and left a note. And I read the note.Actually, I ran to my parents room. Because I was still a little kid at this time, and I still talk to my parents. Which I no longer do. Uh, you know, and I, I read to them. And luckily at the end of the note, it says, you may read this to it. You may share this with your parents if you want. I was like, thank goodness is that it didn't say, don't share this with your parents.Cause I sprinted to their room crying. I, cause at the time I loved my Nintendo DS. This was before people were playing games on their iPhones and everything. Uh, this was probably, I don't know, six. No, this was probably like eight, nine or 10 years old. Um, I'd have to say if I had to give a guesstimate and.I read a note to my parents and it's like, you know, dear Mr. Whiskey, you've been, uh, you know, a good boy this year and all that, but my elves, you know, they came up short and there was a little girl who really needed a Nintendo DS, so I've taken yours to give to her. Uh, And I was like, just cry. I was weeping.I was like, I don't care about this girl. You know, she didn't need a kidney. She needed a DS. Come on. She can wait till next Christmas. And I was like, the elves aren't working hard enough. Like, come on, don't you pay them Santa? But yeah, uh, I was crying and he goes, because of this sacrifice that you've made involuntarily, um, he's like, I've gotten you the most special gift ever, and I was like, Oh my goodness.I'm getting the Omnitrix. I swore. That was the moment. I, every Christmas, I hoped for it. That was the moment I knew I was getting it, because I had made a sacrifice, selflessly, uh, involuntarily, and he said, I've got a very special gift for you. You know, reward for you. I said Santa has deemed me worthy.He's giving me the Omnitrix. Give me that alien DNA The special gift was a Nintendo 3ds. It was the newest upgraded version of it and there was no alien DNA involved and My sister got a Nintendo DS that year for Christmas and I did not realize until later on in life that The Nintendo DS she got was mine.I did not, my parents did not want to buy a new one. What they did was they bought me a new one, the newest one, and gave her my old one. Nice. Um, did not get down to tricks. Years later, my grandparents bought me a fake one. And, um, that's okay. Uh, still very upset about it, because I spent all that time hoping for something that wasn't real, all because of this lie Okay?That the government has put out, as they do, all they do is lie, and my parents. Um, and then I remember my mom used to call me mentally ill and delusional and a whole list of slews of names. And so, in that time that she was yelling at me that I was delusional and mentally ill, she also told me that Santa wasn't real.As if that fed into my mentally ill and tactile issues I had as a toddler. Um, but yeah, that was a lie that she perpetuated. So not my fault if I believed in Santa and not my fault, if I thought he could harness alien DNA man who can travel the globe in one night and give a gift to everyone and that he just makes stuff from thin air and has magic.Why would it not be possible for him to give me an advanced technological watch that has alien DNA? So yeah, I've had a lot of bad Christmases, um, a lot of gifts that were top of my list that I didn't receive, got stuff on the bottom of my list, um, got a lot of weird underwear from my grandma, you know, that she thinks is funny.Um, so yeah, I've had my fair share of Christmases and, uh, Anna, I'll pass you the mic back before I get into what holiday we should celebrate and why. Well, Christmas can be a fun time of year. We don't want you guys to think that we're, you know, bashing it all and everything. There's beautiful things to enjoy, especially if you live in an area like I do where it kind of gets a little cold.Maybe we'll get snow. I don't even know. We've been getting a little bit of snow here and there. Maybe it'll be a white Christmas. But There are things to look forward to at this time of year. So definitely not alien DNA watches though. I'm just putting that out there. Disclaimer, but I will emphasize what we've been saying in regards to Santa.If you are a Christian and you do the whole Santa thing, be careful because like Mr. Whiskey said in the beginning, it can cause. Some damage in the future to them believing in God once they finally realized that you lied to them about Santa all this time Because God is somebody they can't see and you're supposed to believe that he's omnipresent.He knows everything he sees all he's there Whatever and you're supposed to believe that after they told you that Santa was this and you found out he wasn't How are they going to believe that fully once? Yeah Exactly so if you're a christian and you're doing the whole santa thing, I would be careful I mean, if you want, take a page from the way I'm doing it, you know, our kids talk about Santa all the time.My little two year old knows the word Santa, but I'm not gonna lie to him and tell him Santa's real. He's just, as far as he knows, he probably thinks he's just a figurine, you know. But, uh, my kids know that Santa is not real. My kids know Santa's not real. They know who gives them their presents. And, uh, I always remind them, well, you've never gotten what you've asked for, so obviously Santa's not real, you know, so, so it's like, whatever.Dang, Anna, you give your, you give your kids gifts they don't want so they don't believe in Santa? Yes, carrots and onions, no, no. Granola bars. My point is is if they want, like, If they want some big expensive thing, it's like, well, you're not getting that. Like my son would want a phone now. He's at that age.He's like, well, you ain't getting a phone. And I'm certainly not getting you one. So there's obviously not going to be a Santa. I'll buy him one if he subscribes to my show. No, see, we don't want him to have a phone. I said, if you ever get a phone, it'll be a flip phone with no technology abilities at all.But just like those things, you know, like the things they're like, Oh, I want that. And it's like, Oh, well, I'm not getting that for you. I've never said Santa's going to get that for you or write us a letter to Santa. I've never done any of that. I've always. Made clear from the very beginning that I am your Santa and I am not doing that for you.I don't have that kind of money or whatever. It's just, it's not happening. Like, I've never just, I've never told them Santa is a real person who can give you what you want. And, oh, you better be good. Santa's gonna get you, you know, like, I've never done any of that stuff. I've always been honest and transparent and, uh, I don't remember when I figured it out on my own.I, like I said, I don't even remember if I actually believed in Santa, or just thought he was just some sort of Christmas figure type of whatever. So Yeah, that's my warning to Christian parents is be careful with the whole Santa stuff because you don't know what it could lead to it May just seem harmless innocent fun But at some point they're going to find out whether you tell them or someone else tells them or whatever And what is that going to do for their desire to know about jesus later?Amen And in fact the holiday i'm calling us to celebrate Is based in religion now, it's a jewish holiday You But there's no reason that it shouldn't be celebrated by Christians across the globe. Uh, while Jesus is not involved, it is very God centered. And I'm gonna get into that. Which is, Anna, as an honest Christian woman, have you read the book of Esther?Yes. Okay, so you are familiar with it. Ladies and gentlemen, for those of you who aren't familiar with the book of Esther, it's one of the only books in the Bible that does not mention God directly. It is, God is almost not even in the book. And what it is, and what it does so well, is it shows God working behind the scenes, even when we don't talk about him, when we don't mention him.And it is a story of the salvation of the Jewish people, and how God All these things happened at a certain time and place to line up for that salvation. And it's amazing. It's one of my favorite books of the Bible, which is most of them, all of them. Um, actually my top three are Jonah, Job, and um, shoot, I was going to say Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and uh, Jacob, but that was more than three.But yeah. The book of Esther is an amazing read. It is very interesting. It's very different from the rest of the Bible. There is a holiday associated with it called, and if I'm pronouncing this right, Purim or Putin, I think it's Purim because I am white, but it might be Purim anyway, it is a holi holiday that celebrates the salvation of the Jewish people from the annihilation of the hands of that.Empire and it's all in the book of esther And it changes every year this year or this upcoming year. It's going to be march 14th And 15th 2025. It will be my first year Celebrating it. I am hosting a party in a festival and I don't know who's going to participate with me if anyone But i'm going to read the book of esther.I might read the first half on the 14th the second half on the 15th But um, I think I want to make that Like, I'm going to celebrate that the rest of my life. I'm not a Jewish person. Um, but I am a follower and believer of God. And, uh, when he saved those Jewish people, you know, the impact I had on the rest of history definitely comes down to this day.And, you know, there's plenty of times in my life where God hasn't been the main focus, unfortunately, or, you know, He hasn't been given the credit, but He was doing all the work behind the scenes for us. So, I am encouraging everyone, if you want to have great food and give gifts out and have a God centered holiday, I'm going to start celebrating Purim.I think everyone else should do that. And, uh, Anna, what are your thoughts on that? Sounds interesting. I have to read Esther again because I, I have read it, but it's been a while, and yeah, I mean, if I'm going to be honest, I'm not really a holiday person. I don't even like to celebrate my own birthday. I.That's every 40 year old woman ever, but yeah. You just outed me and my age! I, well, I said, I said, sorry. I said four years. I meant, uh, 28. No, it's fine. But If you listen to Anna's show and my show, you've said your age. So I felt like it was alright. If you're a new listener, Anna's 40. But you wouldn't Know it at all.Yes, except for when she broke her elbow roller skating, but that's a different story Yeah, you can go back to my season one and listen to that episode But yeah, I i've never been. Um Well, I can't say never but in my adult years. I don't think i've ever been someone who really enjoys holidays in general like I don't I don't know if I'm uber introverted or whatever.I just don't really like big crowds. I don't like going and doing things like that. And I, like I said, I don't like celebrating my birthday even. I only certain people know when my birthday is and that's, You know, my close friends and everything. I don't put it on Facebook because I don't really want everyone giving me all that happy birthday stuff that they usually do because it's like a lot of the people who say it they don't Know it's your birthday other than the fact that they were just told by Facebook That's your birthday and it's like I just don't like I don't like hearing that because I feel like it's insincere and I know they probably mean well and everyone wants to celebrate the fact that you're still alive that you were born whatever and I Completely get that But I I don't know i'm just not a super sentimental person.We'll have you on maybe for your birthday for a anti birthday episode We we had one it's no longer available on my show but mr. Whiskey's nuclear birthday mania bash It was a three hour episode and I went over some of my worst and best there was no best birthdays There was only worse and worse or you know more worse Um, we had a little bingo card sheet I bet this happened on Mr.Whiskey's birthday and the squares were that my friends bet in on was drunk father Romantic issues with a woman. I don't know like there was just nothing good. Nothing good So, yeah, I'm with you on the birthday. All my social medias have a different birthday So I get birthday wishes throughout like the year The whole month on random days.Um, yeah, I, I get, I get, um, you know, it's one of those things where it's like, Hmm, they wouldn't have known it was my birthday. Uh, but they, I'm sure they don't have bad intentions behind it, but you know, it's like how surface level is it, you know? So I, I get it. And. I've had mixed feelings because I've, I've been like, people didn't know it was my birthday today and I spent it all alone and it's like, well, did you tell anyone it was your birthday?Did people know? They don't know. They don't know. Luckily, my military friends have good wives who have a list of everyone's birthdays and stuff. I got to start putting them in the calendar. You know, people tell me, I'm like, I'll remember that. And then. I'm like, well, it's sometime in this year or that year, you know, um, I've been doing that for my friends in Russia, so I can keep an eye on their birthdays, their family's birthdays and everything.But now I also have the added, I have to make sure I say it on their actual birthday because some of them, they're like 12 hours ahead of me. Yeah. Different times. Okay. I got to make sure I say it at this time. You say it in Russian, right? Yes, I do. Okay. Wow, that was pretty good. Do you have a podcast where you speak Russian?No, I will not be plugging that, because I have not done anything with it. It's in the description below already, but, uh, yeah. Yeah, it's already in the description below. Ladies and gentlemen, check out Anna's Russian podcast Five episodes because I have to get better first. Yeah, but um Yeah, I agree. Anna doesn't even know my birthday.So that's okay. But well, I don't think you know mine Maybe i'll text that your way um No, I just know you've had only 28 birthdays so far, and there's many more to come. But yeah, ladies and gentlemen, just Merry Christmas to all y'all. Um, come March, I'll say Happy Purim. Um, I'm gonna, I gotta continue learning Hebrew and Greek so I can celebrate these days.Ancient holidays better. But yeah, ladies and gentlemen, really, if you got anything from this episode, besides some good banter, some shameless plugs and some childhood trauma, um, what I want you to get away from this is to, you know, check on one another. Like I said, people can be happy and having happy holidays.Uh, that doesn't mean they're happy inside. No, a lot of people don't want to burden one another or feel like a burden to one another during the holiday season, especially. Um, but the holidays don't, you know, our emotions don't stop for the holidays. You know, the holidays don't care about our emotions. So check in on one another and whether that's sending them some homemade gingerbread cookies with a little note or that's giving them a phone call.Definitely be reaching out. You know, a lot of people reach out to one another on Christmas day, exact and say, Merry Christmas, or whatever. On Hanukkah and say happy Hanukkah, but reach out before and afterward as well and make sure they're doing all right Yep, I agree. Oh, that was it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you said you said it perfectly.I don't need to add anything yeah, well Anna, thank you for coming on and sharing about You know your Christmas story. I think it's one that really resonates with a lot of people more than ever before You Do we see divorce rates and split homes for the holidays? So I think your story really resonates even my later years in high school My parents had started living separate a little bit and it was the same situation where I had to pick and choose Um, especially being in the military only having a few days of leave To try and see both families, uh, it gets rough So I think like you said try to make the best of it Set those boundaries if you need to if if you have trauma if you have emotions You're not a burden.You're a person and you need to take care of yourself more than you need to take care of the holidays So yeah ana, thank you for coming on the show. It's always a great time. We'll have you on again plenty of more times Thank you for having me. This is my first Christmas episode. Yeah, maybe we'll have you come on to deconstruct Easter sometime.No, no. But we'll do something. I don't like the Easter egg bunny stuff. Yeah, yeah, so we can get into that. We can get into that in the future. But thank you ladies and gentlemen for listening. We wish you a merry Christmas and happy holidays. And uh, as you go into the new year thinking about what you want to do with your future holidays and checking in on everyone for the new year as well.A lot of people don't want to make it through another year, so we need to help support one another. And we'll have Anna's information in the description below as well for y'all to check out.
