Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Couple of nus. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey, and this is being recorded a bit late. Actually, normally my episode's released at zero 500 Eastern Standard Time, but this will be dropped in the late afternoon EST, but. That is because at zero 100 this morning, I got back from Japan after some canceled slash sabotage flights.That being said, I am here recording because today at 1,602 years ago, between 1600, 1700 was when I left my aircraft carrier that I was stationed on and started the transition to civilian life. In honor of that because today was an episode release day and it happens to be that two year anniversary. I wanted to host an episode where I just did a little bit of reflection in conversation.Solo episode, uh, nothing too crazy. Like I said, it's just gonna be me reflecting observations and stuff, and this is gonna be combined with the perspective of a lot of the veterans that have hosted on the show, whereas. You know, I think some other people have lost connection to that community in various ways, in other ways.But we're gonna get into that. For those of you watching, not listening, the eye patch is, for medical reasons, is not for cosplay. And speaking of my episode covering Japan will be the episode after this before we get back into the non solo and guesting episode. So. Be on the lookout for that. I'm not gonna get into the details on why I'm wearing it until the future as necessary only.But yeah, that being said, two years ago I got released, discharged, however you wanna call it, from the Navy. And yeah, my military journey is one, I think like many people where honestly. It wasn't my choice. And every chief, you know, who has ever existed pretty much will say, well, no one held a gun to the back of your head and made you sign a dotted line.Right? You chose to do that. But again, in my situation, thinking a lot of situations around America, you know, I was 17, my parents kind of said, you're doing this and that's that. Of course you have the right to refuse to sign. Right. But when you're 17 and your parents are telling you to do it. You know, a lot of us fall into that situation where we're going to, and I was in that group of improperly educated individuals in terms of what post high school life looked like.So my parents purposely withheld information about college from me and misconstrued it so that I would be more inclined to do the military again. It was their dream for me to join the Coast Guard Academy and become an officer in the Coast Guard. And I've actually heard stories within the fleet of certain like nuclear instructors who will try to manipulate their children to also follow that nuclear pipeline dream.I know there are a lot of parents who want to go into the military, but either failed out or had different life changes, and so they try to push that onto their children as well. Then there are the people who. I have the unexpected pregnancies in high school. The, you know, mish happenings with work. I'm also from the generation where I joined Bootcamp, uh, shortly after COVID-19.Really shut everything down. So that was also another factor into that, because I really want to go into the working world and I believe I would have done so if it wasn't for Covid to 19. Kind of put me in that spot where college was an option for me. Because of how my parents had set up my life, and I had just never sought that education about college on my own.The working world was shut down. Military was kind of the only option left at that point, and it was being heavily pressured on me to join. One of the things I've learned that I would share with anyone who is interested in the military, and now this episode isn't just a bash on the Navy or the military or recruiters, right?This is just my story and some reflections from the past two years, past two years out, and actually really the years prior to that as well. What I'll say is one guest I had Peter Gunn former, uh, military man, who actually that was a pretty interesting episode. It's uh, their recreation of epic poetry with the intention of female empowerment, and he shared what he did, which I think is an amazing strategy.It's not something I really thought of doing your research, and this is something we've discussed on the show, like I discussed with Yapo Cielo when it came to entrepreneurism and business, right? So many people just get right after it, and that's great. But the research and planning phase is so important, and the same goes for joining the military.What Peter Gunn did was. He went to the VA hospital and he talked to all the veterans and said, if you could do it all over again, still doing the military route, what would you do differently? And in his particular case with that case study, that sample group all said they would've joined the Air Force, and that's what he did.That's one way of doing research, and I think that's the best way in my personal opinion, because that is the primary source, right? I mean. It's the unbiased source. Yes, it's biased because they all lived it, but what's more biased are the recruiters and the commercials that are meant to purposely target you and convince you to join.Right? These people didn't say, Hey, Mr. Gunn, you know, don't join the military. They said, if you were gonna do the military route, if we were gonna do it, this is what we would do. You know, so. I think that's important. Could you do research online? Definitely. You know, I remember my research phase was very limited because my parents basically said, you're gonna take that, whatever the top job is.You know, they didn't care about any other job because when I was researching the Air Force, which I was originally doing, I wanted to go for photojournalism, mass communications. They said, Hey, actually you're gonna do, uh, crypto linguist. Didn't wanna do that at the time. Sometimes I, I ponder about it, but it's, I'm kind of glad I didn't do that anyway, when I was told, Hey, you can't do photojournalism, which to give short context, the recruiter I had for the Air Force at the time said that it was guaranteed that I will get you photo journalist, you know, mass Communications the day before I signed the final paperwork.He goes. Oh no. I meant if it was available, but there's no billets for it. It wasn't a matter of ASVAB score. ASVAB score was high enough that they said, Hey, we want you to be a crypto linguist. Right? So it wasn't a matter of that. He suddenly twisted it up to a, if it was available, he didn't start with that.Just like I've learned to read the fine print on military ads, you know, in Big Fi I'll say, join the Navy today and you can get up, uh, you can get up to $147,000 bonus, whatever. Right? They offer all kinds of different bonuses for all the branches, as far as I know, up to that. That's a very important part right there.Everyone always kind of overlooks because the big number is in. Larger font in a different color, or sometimes they'll say in, in a different section of the poster or whatever ad it is. That being said, he had said, Hey, you wanna do fertile journalism? All right. Welcome to the Air Force. This is what we're gonna do to train.This is your sign out date. This is maps, blah, blah, blah. The day before, maybe it was a few days, but I remember I was just about to go to meps, sign the paperwork, ship out soon. Nope. It was, he goes, no, you're gonna do crypto linguist. And I was like, no, I'm not doing that. You lied to me. So thanks for that.Goodbye, buddy. And he was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Please reconsider. You know, and, and, and, and you can look at other jobs if you want. And that's what I did. I actually looked at other, I was infuriated with him, but said, yeah, all right. You know what? Let's look at other jobs. If we can't do photojournalism and we don't wanna do crypto language, let's look.I started researching, they had almost everything you could imagine from store owner to mailman to pest control to construction, everything civilian side, but military side with medical benefits, dental benefits, the pay, the rank, right? Parents said, no, you gotta take that top job. So that kind of cut my research phase short.I looked at a few jobs and the parents were like, Nope, you had to take that top job. Otherwise, you know you like you're a disgraced family and it's a dishonor to your own abilities and intellect. Here's what I'll say on that. I, I think that is foolishness. I think that is pride. First of all, not even my own personal pride.It was their pride at stake because they didn't want to say, oh, their child was a pest control specialist in the military. You know, because that was like belittling to them. Here's what I'll say. If you're someone who's in high school right now, or or in the adult world and you're thinking of joining the military, who cares what job you did?All right? If you're serving the country by helping support the military, it doesn't matter if you're on the front lines or if you're a mailman or pest control, right? You're doing your part right? You're earning those benefits and you are contributing to the support of the military, right? Someone has to do it.If you are capable of doing it and you're gonna get a career out of it, or a well-paying job with benefits, why not? And that's not to say it's gonna be easy. I know plenty of top siders or you know, those other positions that. They still work on weekends or holidays. Sometimes they still have long hours.Sometimes they still deal with the same military BS when it comes to paperwork and this and that, right? So I think if you let outside sources like your parents or family or friends, shame you for wanting what they consider a lower position in the military because of its job responsibilities and Title D, don't allow that.That was something that really I struggled with because I was like, well, if I can have an easy job in the military, I didn't wanna do the military, right? So if I'm gonna have to do it, can I at least pick something I want to do? Because I didn't wanna be a nuclear operator again. I want to be photojournalist.And then after that, in between photojournalism and nuclear operated, there was a lot of other jobs that that I would've rather done. So I think that I wish I had been more independent thinking and, and had the ability to think independently, so I could have made that decision for myself. But I, I didn't have that, and unfortunately, I let the pressure and the parental control get to me, and that's, I ended up being a nuclear operator because then I, I switched the mindset of, all right, I don't wanna do this to begin with, but I might as well get.This job that they're presenting that has the most benefits, right? Because if I'm gonna, you know, take this job in the military, then at least I'll take the best one. That was a huge mistake, not because of that idea of embracing it and accepting the situation for what it was. I think that is a good mindset to have.All right, if we're gonna. I have to do this, might as well full send it. Right? The issue was that there weren't extra benefits to being a nuclear operator. Honestly, long term and, and this is going to be universal, right? Not everyone's a nuclear operator before any job you're doing in the military. If you are taking it, not because you want to, but because you think there are extra benefits to it.You need to really consider those quote extra benefits. I was told that being a nuclear operator would be extremely beneficial to me, civilian side. That is only true in the case of the blue collar industry or specifically staying in the nuclear field. In blue collar industry side, it was specifically 12 hour shifts or rotating shift work.Only jobs for the most part. Even the nukes who went to Amazon or Google or Facebook, most of them that I was in communication with at the time when they had those jobs, were working 12 or more hours a day.When you actually look at the benefits, you can take a nuclear operator and you can take a mailman. I know I keep using that example. I had nothing against the mailman and also not like super. Supporting of them for any particular reason. Right. It's just another job in the military. But I remember this specifically because we had a first class petty officer on base who was a mailman, and he was in charge of a team of sailors who would do the mail, and often he would be sitting in there on his phone just watching other people do the mail.And I thought to myself, I said, this guy outranks me so he is getting more pay than me. He's getting the same medical benefits as me. He's getting the same dental benefits as me. He's getting the same. When he gets out, he'll get the same VA treatment, you know? So what was so beneficial about being a nuclear operator?Rather than quote the sign on bonus, which now the sign on bonus I got as a nuclear operator is almost what you get for just joining the Navy nowadays because of the retention and recruiting crisis. So. I know that was an added benefit. Sure. But long term, not really. Um, I also think it's easier to rank up outside of the nuclear field.A lot of people would talk about how easy it is to rank up in a nuclear field. I'd have to disagree. I'd have to say that based on what I observed during my time in looking at the rank up examinations for E four, E three, E five, E six. I saw a lot of other rates all having mass promotions and then nuclear operators, um, not having many of those very few ranking up off the exam.So take that with a grain of salt. I didn't serve full-time on a submarine, so I know they say it's easier to rank up in a submarine. I can't actually speak on whether that's true or not. From what I saw in the aircraft carrier wasn't, you could start reenlist. But that's different than ranking up off the exam.That's different than ranking up by working hard at your job, which again, what I saw in the military was that ranking up was based on were you good at kissing up? Were you good at screwing over other sailors, and were you good at playing favorites? That's honestly the promotion cycle I saw in the leadership power flow that I saw, and that's not to say it doesn't happen in the civilian world.Anyway, I digress. I wanna focus back in on the benefits. So at the end of the day, like I said, if you're joining the military, we all have the same medical and dental benefits. And honestly, if you're, I, I'm switching away from mailman, if you're pest control specialist and you're a nuclear operator and you're both leaving the military and neither of y'all plan to continue in the field that you did in the military.Both of y'alls had the same exact hiring chance. Essentially, some companies might be more inclined to say, Hey, this person was a nuclear operator. They're smart. They learn fast compared to the pest control person or have the companies would just say, oh, cool, you were a nuclear operator and that's interesting.Have I gotten a time or two? You're overqualified for this job I have, which I think is foolish, but. Point being like if, unless you're staying in a nuclear field or if you're an IT specialist and you're staying in an IT field, or if you're like an aviation mechanic or something advanced, you know, that has very specific skills knowledge, there is no extra benefit if you're not staying in that field.Or something adjacent to it. So like I said, with the nuclear operations or the aviation mechanic, for example, if you're staying blue collar on your strand, you're gonna work on airplanes, or you're gonna work on automobiles, or you're gonna work at chemical plants or biochemical plants or you know, railroad systems, it doesn't really matter.You know? And same with all the branches. I mean, Marines, army, navy, right? They all have their little quirks and different. Benefits, so to speak. But at the end of the day, the VA's Universal across those branches, all the military hiring programs or military nonprofits, they're universal regardless of branch.So I think at the end of the day, if you are in high school or someone in life looking to join the military, don't focus on anything, any specific branch for post life. Focus on the branch for what you'll do when you're in that branch. And then that's the first layer, what branch you want to do. And then the second layer is your job, which you don't always have say over, but don't just pick a job because you think it's gonna be extremely beneficial unless you're gonna stay in that field, actually do the research.See what adjacent jobs you can get based off of that. And also know that being a veteran doesn't guarantee hire, which we're gonna get into that conversation in a little bit, uh, because I've seen some sailors almost rebound into the military because of a lack of hiring, and that's a, a sad story that I do wanna share.But going back to the branches as far as like which branch you choose now, they do have different lifestyles. That is important to research and know that whatever branch you go to, like that lifestyle is your lifestyle. And you can say, well, I'm gonna be a Marine. I'm not gonna be that hoorah guy or gal, or I'm gonna go to Air Force and I'm not gonna pick up that culture or the Navy, or pick up that culture.But you kind of don't really have a choice to some degree, although you do to another degree. Which is a conversation I had recently because I had a bunch of people judging me in the civilian world saying, you're a military man, therefore you're this, this, this, and that. And I had to make the distinguishment between a military man or woman, and then men and women who were in the military.There are certain personalities, some people are in the military, like I said, and they were never meant for the military. They don't have that military personality. They're just doing it. For the time being. I was one of those people. Then you have people that live, breathe, and sleep military, and I'm not saying that, um, a military man or a man in the military, one is better than the other.Right? They're just different types of people. So that's important to consider too when you're joining and you have to know that maybe you'll start one and end up the other because it's actually funny. I was just a man in the military, then I became a military man, and then the military. Made me back into a man in the military through their actions.And what's interesting is you'll have different crowds, but you'll kind of get hate from both sides, whether you're one or the other, because when you're just a man in the military, then you're a scumbag, you're a dirtbag, you're this and that. All the hoorah people crap on you. But then when you're the military man.Um, all the people in the military crap on you. You can like never win. So it's like either embrace it and stay in or get by, you know? That's just again, my opinion on it all. What I wanna focus on is the transition out. It's been two years now and it feels like a long time now. That first year when I got out, it felt like yesterday.Sometimes it still feels like yesterday to me, and I can't imagine me having only been in for a couple years, what the men and women who were in for 20 years must go through. I mean, that's such a significant chunk of their life and it's become so intertwined with them. I can't even imagine because just a few years that I did, you know.Were a huge part of my life, especially I, like many young men and women, we joined straight after graduation and it be, it just becomes like who we are right after high school because it's, you know, in high school you're still kind of figuring out your identity to a degree. So I think a lot of college students then further develop and then they go out into the adult world, whereas the military, you kind of, it's an interesting situation.Speaking of high school and graduation, one thing I want to say is I've talked to so many veterans and active service members who allowed their impatience to change their rate slash job If you wanna do a particular job, but they're not shipping out anyone until next three months, six months, whatever it may be.I highly urge y'all to wait. The amount of sailors and soldiers and service members and veterans I have talked to who gave up a better job for a quote in their words, a lesser one, just because they want to ship out that day, or I assume that's possible, and later regretted it. It's very sad to think that those few weeks or months.Were worth completely ruining the next few years of their life. And I get it. Some of us don't have a place to stay or an understanding family or friends, and we really do need to ship out right away. But if you can try and make arrangements, I highly encourage y'all to do that because I think just picking what in, in the opposite sense, picking whatever job, just saying, gimme whatever.I just want to go, don't, don't give them that much power over your life. Right. Supposed to be a mutual, mutually beneficial relationship. And obviously it's not, but it's supposed to be a relationship where you. Work for the military. They compensate you and give you other benefits and it's a mutually beneficial relationship and both of y'all are serving the country and protecting the country and helping other people.Yeah, we don't always see that, but definitely I. Try to have as much say in your life as you can. And that's one of the biggest issues I have with the military. Me personally, is that there are enough spots and billets. I feel like that most people could have a, a fulfilled dream sheet, and I think it's that simple.I think the Navy and other branches just need to say and sit down with a, A person actually sit down. For like a, a couple hours and have a serious meeting where you plan out this person's life and you, you say, Hey, I, I want the next five years from you. What can we do to make that as beneficial to me and to you as possible?Or, we want you to do the full 20. How could we get that? And I get it. People change their mind. That's why I think the smaller segments of time would work better. Contract to contract. So beginning my contract, for example, I would've said, Hey, I wanna go through the nuclear training pipeline. I wanna be JSI slash spu, and then I want to go to this place.All right? And then if the bill is aren't available, then this right now, we kind of do that already, but I want something more extensive and thorough. More specific if possible. I feel like there are enough. We have such a recruiting and retention crisis. Everything seems to be understaffed and calling people back in.Yet somehow when we all ask for the spot we want, they say that's full. And that could imply that we're all asking for the same thing. But I think there's, that's not the case, you know? So again. Even with the, the cross rating, we've seen a lot of holdups and delays, or maybe it's called Cross m mo Sing in the military and I don't know, in like the army and stuff, but in the Navy, great is your job, right?So cross rating is when you transition from one thing to the other, because I would've loved that. I would've loved if I said to Big Navy, Hey, after my JSI time, I want to do. One deployment or, or, or, or, you know, two or four years, sea duty. And then I'd like to cross right. To chaplain and do that for the next 15 years or, or 10 years or whatever.Right. I'm, I'm just making this off the top of my head, but that would've been cool, you know, but, because I did talk about cross rating to chaplain, but you know, with the nuke field, they're like, once the nuke always nuke, you gotta stay in nuke. Right. I understand that given the amount of time and money that goes into our training, so I can't speak on behalf of the nuclear community, but for many of the other rates in the military, if you do a few years as a gunner's mate or Or a Boatman's mate.Or a mailman, 'cause I can't think of anything else. You know a radio man and then you want to do something different, I think you should be allowed to explore that opportunity and there are some opportunities for that. But again, take it with a grain of salt for whether or not you'll get that, which was also something that shocked me.I, I know at least for the nukes, if you wanted to do like tuition assistance or college while you're in, this is why I was told when I was in ACE school and everything, when's easy man. You, you, you bring your books onto the ship. If you're on aircraft carrier, you can use the computer, do your online classes.If you're on a submarine, you just print out all your papers and. You can do it on deployment. Yeah. When people talked about going to college as a nuke, they were told no, not unless you're a senior rate and qualified this and top of your class and this and that. So again, that was just my personal experience and what I heard.I can't speak on behalf of other rates and other branches, but if you're joining, hoping to do college while serving, there may be some red tape with that that they're not telling you about. So I would look much further into that. I. You know, that's, that's the part too, about research, circling back to their research, asking your recruiter questions.Now they're, you know.I think the biggest stigma for recruiters is withholding the truth. It's not lying or twisting the truth. I think withholding information is the biggest thing, and you're not prepared to ask these questions. That's again why I like what Peter Gunn did talking to the veterans at the VA hospital. They have no reason to lie to you.They have no drive to convince you one way or the other. They're more than happy to talk to you for the most part, right? If, if they don't wanna talk to you, don't talk to them, but. I think that is a great way, um, if not your American Legion, I mean, I think there's one in almost every town or some form of a veteran's community or even online nowadays, you can find on Facebook hundreds if not thousands of veteran groups from from town to town, city to city, state to state, and from branch to branch.Now.I just, I just bring that up because I remember my recruiter when he described the responsibilities of a nuclear operator, he left out watch standing, which was watch, standing and cleaning were the two main aspects of the job, and they were a lot different than what he had described to me. You know, and going into nuclear operations, never expected to stand in security details, which I had to do.Never expected to stand even more security details or to do other jobs related to my job that weren't actually my job, that were labeled as watch or something else. And it's just like, would've been interested to know, you know, like what he described as was already what my recruiter described for the most part.Was just how much fun the poor calls were, which that is my biggest nuance right there. Not nuance, the biggest nuisance, if that's the right word for it. Either I, I didn't wanna say pet peeve, but my friends who got deployed shared these stories with me where they pulled into port and one of them had a port call day canceled because of weather.Two of them missed days because they had to stay on the ship for duty day. And then, um, the other one, his port calls were canceled because some officers who showed up to the ship weren't prepared to do their job, and they got the port call canceled for everyone. Then sometimes because of politics, they're canceled.So for me, that is the most angering and upsetting thing is that the Navy's number one selling point is travel the world and go to these port calls, which are also what all the veterans or recruiters will tell you about is the port calls. The veterans will also tell you about the other stuff, unlike your recruiter, who will mostly just tell you about the board calls depending on your recruiter, right?I'm not saying all recruiters are. Salesmen and women, but most of them are, some of them are honest and the honest ones will usually be lower ranking, and they'll tell you they suck at their job. That being said, and it usually means they didn't wanna do recruiting in the first place. That being said, they leave out the fact that, hey, by the way, your port calls might get canceled.You may miss every one of your port calls. Um, is is a possibility. You may just go straight from. Home port to your Ford port, uh, that you're gonna be stationed at. And that's it. So something to keep in mind. Right. So, so as you see, as we move along in this conversation here, we've possibly lost our education benefits that we were promised we possibly lost the port call benefits that we were promised.Medical's always closed when we're free and available when we're not allowed to go. Dental's always. Dental's. Not too bad actually. I've, I've had a pretty good time with dental, but medical not so much. So, so the benefits aren't looking as good as we thought. We get outta the military now and we think people will just hire us because we're a, a veteran and that's not how it works.You know, and I wanna share the story of a, a close friend of mine, a shipmate. He called me up depressed. Civilian life was taking a toll on him. And this was a sailor who for the past, like two years, has been counting down excitedly. And then they extended him twice beyond the end of his contract, uh, because of some stuff.So he was more than ready to get out. He was so excited. I was so excited for him because I knew how much it meant to him. He had been in for six years, I think maybe more 'cause they extended him. I think they extended him a total of half a year or so. A few months later, after getting into civilian world, calls me, says, Mr.Whiskey, I think I'm gonna go back in and reenlist, or at least do reserves at minimum. And I had to have a real talk with him. I said, shit, mate, let me tell you what's going on here. So now I don't wanna do my podcast or life coach thing on you, but let's look at the facts, man. Your expectation was that the military was the issue that you were gonna get down to a civilian world and suddenly you were gonna have.The girlfriend, the dream car, awesome job. Making a lot of money compared to what you were doing. You were gonna be happy, had this freedom, thought it was all gonna be amazing, and then you get out and, and I don't, you know, he ended up delivering packages for Amazon and then maybe looking into being a bus driver or just couldn't find anything related to his resume.He did a job in the military, but most of it didn't transition over into civilian jobs. So now basically he is no more experienced in a high schooler getting out who worked maybe a few jobs at in the food and hospitality service industry, right? He is getting out with basically resume that says veteran and that's it.He's got a bunch of random military stuff on there that doesn't translate to civilian job, right? So you didn't get the dream job. He's trying to go to college, but he's realizing it's not gonna be the same college experience everyone else is having. That he expected in his head, you know the romance life.Well the military played a huge part in it, right? But now you're a civilian, so you thought that would just fix everything, but still gotta put in the work and time and effort and. Now you're in a position where you're struggling to find a job and going to school, so you're still not in a good spot for a relationship.And so you're seeking what the military did offer, which is one of the only good things about the military in my opinion, is that stability, right? You're craving that uniform, that identity, that positional authority that comes with that rank. 'cause you get out. Whenever you get out, you're no longer petty officer or chief or master sergeant or whatever the other terms are.You know, you're, you're no longer that rank. You're no longer your leadership positions, whatever they may have been in the military, don't matter, right? It didn't matter if you were the leading petty officer or a divisional training unit expert, whatever it may have been an RDC at bootcamp. Drill Sergeant.Doesn't matter. Right. It means nothing to the civilians. Uh, so it's that sailor. I had a real talk with him and, you know, I told him to really, really think about it, you know, because the way he was thinking about it was he was just craving a lot of things that the military gave him that he hadn't gotten right away in the civilian world, but that he could work toward, you know?And I, I think I'm in the same boat too. I think I'm lucky and blessed by God that I fell into the whole podcasting and entrepreneurism, right? Because that really pulled me outta that miy pit. But I think if I hadn't done that, like a lot of veterans, I would've been in a position where if I want to rely on my resume, I would've been in the blue collar industry, which I was.I was at working at acid plant and railroad tracks. 12 hours rotating shift work, doing days and nights, sometimes in the same week. You know, shifting my sleep, constantly working 12 or more hours doing stuff that was tied back to what I did as a nuclear operator, right? But that didn't leave me fulfilled because basically I was living the military life.But now as a civilian only, I didn't have a uniform or a rank. I had higher pay, which was nice. I had more freedom except I was at a job where I had to shave every day still. Right. My point being that, um, you know, transitioning out is a double-edged sword in my opinion. I. And I think it, it does take a while.You know, I'm at my two year mark today in about two hours. At the time of me recording this. I'll be at my two years out and I've reached a very strange point in time where I can no longer really relate to my active duty friends who are still in, who are approaching the ends of their contracts and stuff like, yeah.It's been a while since we served together. Now they've moved commands. Most of them have gone to a different command or they're doing different stuff and all the terminology, all the acronyms, all the inside jokes are gone. I don't understand half the stuff they're talking about. I can still relate to some of the military BS with medical, with leadership, with working hours, stuff like that.But. As far as like the job specificity or the specifics of the job, so to speak, kinda lost that connection with them. All the people they're referencing, I don't know them. A lot of the sailors that I served with are out now as well, or you know, got moved to a different command. So they're always telling stories about, oh, you wouldn't know this person.You wouldn't know that person. But then civilian side, I still don't necessarily relate to my friends, especially with me being a podcaster and a speaker and author and a community doing all this entrepreneur, non-traditional stuff. And it's like this balance of people putting me as a military man, a man in the military, civilian, it's, I'm kind of at a weird spot with all of it right now.What I will say is I've kept. Some military ties through KA of Nukes, uh, which is not a military podcast, so a lot of people, and, and that's because it was, it wa it was a nuclear operator only podcast that branched into military mental health that then branched into universal self-improvement. And honestly, every day it's more tempting to rebrand and get rid of couple of nukes.But I like to remember my origins. A lot of my life story as, uh, you'll find out when I, uh, I'm being featured in a couple books this summer and, uh, throughout the next year, two years, and a lot of them I wrote about pivoting in my life and a couple nukes has pivoted a lot, but it's always kept its name and I'll have a talk with God about it, but.I don't know. I think it might be time to get rid of a couple of nukes and rebrand the company. And I think that may be the last tie to the military that the show really has, other than featuring military guests. But again, when I feature them, it's not just to speak to military men and women, it's to speak universally to everyone who is going through similar things, you know?And of course we have episodes specifically on. Vietnam and veteran mental health and military identity crisis and suicide specifically to the military. And so that's kind of how I keep my ties to the community and I can relate to those veterans who have been out as well because we relate not as active duty members, but as veterans, and we relate over our transition out and reminiscing over old stories.Whereas it's different with my active duty friends, they're still in and so they're kind of living a different life than me now. And so yeah, that's where I am with these two years. You know, a lot of feelings have faded out over time, but I believe what I once believed when I was going through the nuclear program at some point.I had this feeling inside of me and I said to myself, what if God didn't bring you here to be a nuclear operator or to be a military man? But to go through the process for something afterward, to meet certain people and to experience certain events that would change your life forever? And I believe that is 100% the case.There are days where I still wish I was in. To some degree. Um, a lot of time though, a lot of the time though, I realize that what I'm missing isn't the work aspect of it. It's not the command climate aspect of it, it's the social aspect of it. Having those friendships, those bonds that are unique to the military, I.And again, there's plenty of toxic leadership, toxic coworkers, plenty of that, right? Just like you'll get a civilian world. But there are some, you know, lifelong friends you'll make, there are some friends. One of the saddest parts about the military that any veteran interactive duty will tell you, you'll make a best friend who's like a brother or sister and then never see or hear from them again.And a lot of people say, well, it's easy nowadays. You have phones and you know what? Those phones are great, but guess what? They're not great on a ship. They're not great on a submarine. They're not that great across time zones. They're not great night shift, day shift differences. You know, there are people who I used to spend 14 hours a day with and now I never hear from them, and it's not a, they don't like me anymore, I don't like them anymore.It's not even an honest sight outta mind, it's just like a focus is elsewhere kind of thing. So that is one of the saddest parts. But I, I will say I miss that social aspect of it to some degree. And then also I do sometimes miss the uniform in the rank. That was part of the reason why I tried joining the, I thought about joining the reserves if I was eligible, but you know, the recruiter kept.Not answering the phone for the reserves, and I didn't know if it was something I wanted to do. I honestly didn't know if I trusted it, and I don't think I would've liked it, but it seemed like at the time when it was presented to me, it was like, Hey, civilian life, but you get to keep your uniform and rank up, which I don't think that's how it is.I think that was just a very nice way of presenting it. I, I do miss that sometimes, but at the same time, through my entrepreneurism, through my speaking, through my writing, through my comedy, through the other positions of leadership I've acquired that involve mentorship and coaching and advising both through couple of nukes and through other programs, I think I've done more than I would've done in the military.Here's what I'll say. 'cause I was just writing about one of the only good leaders I had in the military and earlier I hinted at the goal to ranking up in the military. Unfortunately, in the current cycle, being one of kissing up and screwing over and favoritism and bribery. And as a result, the best leaders I had who put people first, who put their sailors first, who actually cared about us as human beings, they were the lowest ranking individuals.They had gone to mass for their sailors. They had stood up for their sailors, and they had suffered for their sailors and. They just did not thrive in the military environment, and that's not how it has to be set up. You know, I've spoken on a lot of shows about the cyclical nature of the military. The cycle that continues on the vicious cycle of the people in power mistreat the lower enlisted, the lower officer or whoever is below them based on their position authority.Those people then rank up and eventually take over leadership and they pay it forward negatively. Negatively, right. I always share the story of how we were doing like port and starboard duty days, maybe three section if we were lucky. And I went to LPO, I said we had the manning to do five section, maybe six sections, and here's how we can do it and here's how we can set it up.And he said, y'all don't have it worse than me. I don't care. I don't care. I had to watch paint dry when I, no one cares what he had to do, to be honest. I'm sorry that he had to watch paint dry. I do feel bad for him. That does sound like some stupid military bs. But the point when you're a leader and a parent is that you are setting things up to be better and better for every generation.It's not about you. It's not about how much others. Have it better or worse than you, right? He said, maybe if we had it worse, he would care a little bit, right? But he didn't care. He said, y'all already have it better than I did. I'm not gonna work or put in any effort to make it even more better for y'all.That's not what being a leader is about. That's not what being a parent is about. That's not what being a mentor is about. But unfortunately, like I said. All the leaders, the cycle of military becomes the people who have no other options or hate their lives or enjoy abusing power, stay in the military and creates this cycle.I had a dear friend of mine, ship mate, who's still in, when he tried to break the hazing cycle on his ship that the senior in rates we're doing to the new recruits who would show up to the ship. He got told he was a fake senior in rate, that he would be one of the new recruits and they started trying to treat him like them.Saying, if you're not gonna use your power, how you can, by tasking off everything to other people and just making them do your job, then we're gonna do that to you. He tried to break the cycle and he got resistance. That is the issue right there. I mean, that is a perfect example of why the military is self perpetuating.This just retention and recruiting crisis, and just this environment of leadership that is awful, that is so focused on screwing over everyone and making their lives their own personal lives better. Not partaking in responsibility, but tasking everything off to everyone else and then screwing over the people who are actually good leaders.And I see a lot of the people with the potential to be great military leaders actually get out because there's more for them to do. I think that I am capable of doing more. As an independent podcaster, an entrepreneur, author, and writer and speaker that I would've ever been able to do in the military because of that culture, because of that culture of putting down people who want to actually help others and be good leaders because of all the red tape, because of all the people higher up, because of the limited size of the impact you can have.And again, that's not to minimize and say, Hey. If you're a leader of a small group, that doesn't matter. It's a small impact. No, you could save a life. You only need one other person in a group to have an impact. But I think that a lot of people with that good potential for leadership end up getting out because they recognize that they can have a much bigger impact in the civilian world.But I'd love to see it where it's set up so that. The military's full of great leaders who they don't push down on other people to raise themselves up as Don Gleason shared in our episode together, but they pull people up along with them. And I know this episode probably came off as just like a little rant and tangent of me complaining about the military.Like I said, I'm just reflecting on it after two years of being, um, out of the military. At the time of this recording, two hours from now exactly from when I was, I took the drive I, I got released between hours of 16 and 1700. Drove to Savannah, Georgia. Took it, took a while. I think there was traffic in an accident and took like eight, nine hours.I didn't care though, but I do remember it didn't seem real. Felt like I was just going on leave or liberty that I would get a call back at some point.One thing I will say, do check up on one another. If you're a veteran, do check up on your active duty. You know, partners, I know we already discussed in this episode about how the time zones get in the way the working shifts, getting in the way the, you know, focus on the mission. And, you know, I, I gotta hold myself accountable.I haven't been reaching out to everyone I I ever served with, and I don't expect you to either. But at least for a lot of those people, you know, even if it's just praying for them or thinking about them, you know, or like, I've got some good friends I haven't talked to in years and I know they're out there doing stuff as far as I know, and we'll see each other when we see each other.I'll get a random text or call from them sometimes, or them from me and then months will go by. But you know, that bond is like, we get back together and it's like, wouldn't that time apart? Never ex, you know, existed. So something to think about, but to recap, if you're going to join the military for whatever reason, thoroughly research it, think about the lifestyle.Think about post life especially, and if, and and I, I mean especially do that if you're only gonna stay in short term, if you're staying in 10, 15, 20 years, you got more time to think about that. But definitely if you're just going for four years or six years, or two or three years or five years, I would definitely focus on the civilian benefits.Which again, a lot of military stuff doesn't transfer over. So keep in mind what does or what field you specifically want to go to and what job will line you up with that field? Talk to veterans. Talk to active duty members. They're more than happy to share their knowledge with you, their stories with you, their experiences.Research the internet. You know, find those online groups as well. Watch YouTube videos. There's. Who knows how many YouTube videos are out there. Podcasts, there are so many podcasts. You know, I've had a lot of podcasts, so on my show who run military only podcasts like Scott De Lucio and Michael Hu. You know, ton of great resources from veterans and active duty personnel and civilians helping with the military, including what you should do if you're thinking about joining.One thing too that I wish I had done that I didn't know while you're in research, all things you can take advantage of as active duty. You know, there's actually a podcaster I met who runs a podcast dedicated to active duty enlisted, um, sailors and soldiers and their finances, you know. And same for veterans.When you get out, make sure you take advantage of the opportunity to research all that there is for you to do so. Definitely make sure, like, I know I messed up, I paid a lot of, you know, business startup fees that were weighed for veterans. I know there's also a lot of resources from beekeeping to automobile stuff, you know, so definitely look into those.That's something I regret not doing when I got out. Um, and again, even while you're in as active duty, there are certain perks and benefits that you should definitely, uh, research. So research before you join, when you join and after you join, you know, make sure you connect with one another. Check in on one another.And again, I know this is kind of just a rambling, but what I spoke about today is something I've discussed with a lot of veterans on their shows. They've discussed it on my shows, and we need to keep talking about it because. Again, these cycles and all these overlapping, repeating issues across every branch, across every chain of command, across every veteran, active duty member's life, those are called patterns.Those are called things that can obviously then be changed. Like David Nathanson said on my show, we can't change too much. Otherwise, you have no stability and change in an organization so large takes time. With that said, we are seeing some change towards mental health improvement, toward lifestyle improvement on trying to make better hours, better leaders.So I will say there, there definitely is hope for the future, and I know that I believe after this point forward, really my military life, my military life is. Pretty much over. I think it's not gonna be something I really think about or talk about anymore unless I have military guests on the show, except for if I can continue to advise people joining or looking to join.That's definitely something I want to do. And my one goal is to create a mentorship program for the newly enlisted men and women of the military. That is not from the military itself, but a third party that has the time and resources to properly dedicate to these young men and women who deserve a good mentor and career advisor and financial advisor, not someone who's already in the military who gets jaed with five or seven petty officers that they've never met.They've already got five other jobs, and now they need to be a mentor to all these people, and maybe they don't even have the personality for it. Or the time or the resources. And so I think that though my personal military journey is now officially over for sure, my journey of helping others in the military is only just truly beginning.So ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. I hope you found this insightful. Whether you were military or a veteran or a civilian. If you're someone who works with military, nonprofits, podcasts, other organizations, or the government, and you wanna speak to me about future collaborations, definitely reach out.Or if you're someone considering joining the military and you wanna have a personal in-depth conversation with me. Don't hesitate to reach out. If you are someone who wants to share their story as a veteran or active duty member, feel free to reach out as well, or a military spouse. I'd love to hear your opinion and thoughts and if you completely disagree with what I said, I'd definitely love to host you and have that conversation.So until then, ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much and take care.
