Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Couple of Nukes. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey, and today we're going to be giving some advice to help you get to the next level. And what's great about the next level is that's different for everyone. It has a different meaning for wherever you are in your life, but it's still a level up from where you are.
And some of us, sometimes in life, we try going too many levels at once. We burn out, we uh, just stretch ourselves thin. So today we're gonna be talking about one level at a time. How to level up, what that'll encompass for each individual. And just some great, universal, timeless advice for doing that. We are here with a man who has not only leveled up himself many times, but runs an entire program for many years, uh, through a variety of different mediums to help other people level up, whether it's business or personal.
And so Mr. Lazarus, would you please go ahead and introduce yourself for us? Yes. So first and foremost, gratitude always. I'm a big proponent of courageous, massive, messy action. I actually spilt my drink right at the beginning of that introduction. And I currently have Some of my drink dripping onto my jeans, but I don't even care because we're here and we're going to make it happen.
So thank you for having me. I really appreciate it. And I think that that's a good lesson right out of the gate, which is things don't always go perfectly, but if you can still power through and get it done, it's worth it. A lot of good things can happen. As for, uh, speaking of things not going perfectly, my story I'm gonna try to condense.
I'm gonna be 36 in November, and I am a numbers thinker, so I always provide that for context. The first thing to understand When I, before I tell the story is that I didn't understand this at the time. Right. And I've since sort of rewatched the movie of my own life over and over and over and over and over again.
When I was your age, I would, I had, I was the Allen 2. 2 version of myself. Right now i'm the alan about to be the alan 3. 6 version and every single iteration I learn more and more and more about myself more and more and more about other people more and more and more about the world And I feel like I understand it all more.
So so two things before I tell the story number one Uh didn't understand this at the time even though it will sound like I did Uh, and then number two is when you watch a movie when you're a kid and then you watch it again as an adult You kind of get it at a deeper level And I think that all of us should be doing that with our own lives I started doing therapy in my 30s and I really started re watching the movie of my own life and It really helped me understand it at a deeper level.
So this is my current 3. 5 I'm 35 years old 3. 5 year old version and i'll try to give you the short version I'm going to try to condense 35 years into you know, five or ten minutes here. Okay. So first and foremost I was born Uh in massachusetts And I still live in Massachusetts now, actually. And when I was born, I was two and a half years old, almost three, and my father passed away in a car accident when he was twenty eight.
My real last name is actually McCorkle, and my stepfather's last name is Lazarus. So my stepfather is Steve Lazarus. My birth father, his name is John McCorkle. He was part of a big Irish Catholic family. It was Jim, Joe, John, Jane, Joan, Jeanette. Six kids, all with the name, uh, letter J at the beginning. And so when my father passed away in a car accident when he was 28, my mom was 31, my sister was 6.
And my mom was a stay at home mom, and so the primary breadwinner, for lack of a better phrasing, was my father. And so, when my stepdad came into the picture from age 3 to 14, he left my family at 14. And I playfully refer to 3 to 14 as boats and BS. The reason why is because, uh, first of all, this was the mid to late 90s, early 2000s, so that the dot com bubble was happening and in the U.
S., but globally, the economy was just absolutely booming in the 90s. And my mom and stepdad, so my stepfather worked for a company called AGFA, H G F A, and they did hospital computers. So, He did very very well. And so we had boats and ski trips and we had snowmobiles and we my mom drove a bmw and uh he had a motorcycle and it was it was boats and bs is what I playfully refer to this because My mom and stepdad just loved to have as much fun as possible And so they surrounded themselves with other people who wanted to have as much fun as possible And so there's my child that we did a lot So he leaves at 14 takes his entire extended family with him to this day I've not seen a single one of them not one Uh, I have talked to my stepdad on Facebook messenger a little bit that same year.
14 was the hardest year of my life. Didn't know this at the time. I definitely understand this. Now I was a freshman in high school. He leaves, takes his entire extended family with him. He gets the. Yacht and the apartment building we get the house and the dog and I go from Xbox dreamcast boats and ski trips To now I get free lunch at school because our income is so low and i'm shopping at thrift stores and my mom trades in her bmw for a little honda civic and We weren't going to starve by any means, but I was definitely a broke high school and college student for sure.
So I went from, I can't wait to go to my dream college. My dream was to be an engineer and I wanted to go to WPI Worcester Polytechnic Institute. It's like a mini MIT in Massachusetts and it was 50, 000 a year. And this is back then. And so I went from, I hope I get in to, even if I do get in, it's a top engineering school.
I'm not going to be able to go. So that same year, 14, sister moves out with her older boyfriend. That same year, my mom gets in a fight with my aunt Sandy, her sister, my aunt Sandy ostracizes us from that side of the family. And we don't really associate with the McCorkles very much anymore because we were the Lazaruses.
So I kind of lost three families by the time I'm 14. Whoa. And so it's just me and my mom. And so. Uh, we, we've since reconnected with the McCorkles, and, and that's been really good, but at 14, this wasn't conscious, this was unconscious, but, looked at my past, painful, mom and stepdad definitely didn't get along, and that's a polite way to put it on a public medium, uh, look at the past, it's painful, look at the present, it's painful, I remember people saying these are the best years of your life, high school, these are the best years of your life, I remember thinking, God, I hope not.
Yeah. Because this is terrible. And by the way, they were very wrong about that. I think those were the best years of their life. Right. But, fast forward into the future, I'm sitting there thinking, Okay, so there's no dad, there's no trust fund, there's no No one's gonna come and save me. So if it's gonna be it's gonna be up to me And so I kind of became the man of the house quote unquote at 14.
There's four trauma responses There's fight flight freeze and fawn. Most people know fight and flight freeze is sort of disassociate fawn as you become a social coward Don't you just appease? You appease you fit in contort yourself to belong just don't poke the bear And so I became this sort of social coward who Was this sort of esoteric mathematical engineering thinker who socially just wanted to fit in and belong because obviously I had lost so many people that I love.
And, but behind the scenes when no one was watching, it was fight, it was aim higher, work harder, get smarter, aim higher, work harder, get smarter, aim higher, work harder, get smarter. The amount of drive that I have is ridiculous. It's honestly ridiculous. So when I started doing therapy in my thirties, I thought that I was going to lose my drive.
I was like, am I going to get soft? Is this, and it ended up being even more, it's way more now. So anyways, uh, so 14, I got straight A's through all of high school. I got what's behind me. It's called the President's Award. It's signed by George W. Bush. And, essentially, you get straight A's for every report card, 16 report cards straight, all four years of high school.
So I was able to get tons of scholarships, tons of financial aid. I got a bunch of awards, which are actually behind me. And, uh, not all of them, but some of them are behind me. And I got in to WPI and I was able to go. It's 50, 000 a year, but I got enough scholarships and financially to actually go academic based.
And so I went, I got my computer engineering degree from one of the best engineering colleges in the world. And I got my master's in business and I was off to the races, 21st century. Computer engineer, I mean, let's rock and roll. So I went from a broke high school and college student to, whoa, I'm very sought after now.
So I went from 65 a year to 85 from 85 a year to one 25 from one 25 per year to one 80 and I just kept climbing very, very quickly. Uh, I worked for a bunch of different tech companies. So I robots inside of technologies, Tyco safety products, lens America's a little company called Oz development. I lived in LA for a time and I did some soul searching and job hopping.
And to me it was, let me build wealth. Because when my stepdad left, the lack of wealth seemed to cause pain. So to me, the answer was wealth become wealthy. And, uh, I had two paths in life that I wanted to choose. It was going to be lawyer, politician, president, or it was going to be, uh, engineer, MBA, CEO of a tech company.
Like my hero, Steve jobs. And I had a bunch of other little dreams, pro gamer, snowboarder, all these things, but those were the main actual career paths. And so I obviously went the engineer, MBA. Fortune 500 tech company. That was my goal to be the CEO of a fortune 500 tech company like my hero at the time Steve Jobs I used to argue who's smarter Steve Jobs Bill Gates that kind of thing I realize now I'm an esoteric weirdo, by the way, I didn't understand that as a kid But now I I'm definitely on the statistical far end of the bell curve in terms of crazy self belief weird on this but anyways, so I went I started making a lot of money.
Like I said, I got almost 200, 000 a year. I got to that point. I'm in my early 20s. I'm dating a woman named Courtney. We live on a lake. My rent is 500. I don't have any kids. I bought a 2004 Volkswagen Passat for 5, 000 cash because I was so used to going without that I didn't need much. Right. So I paid off 84, 000 worth of college debt in a single year.
Which I now realize is wild, but for me, that was my goal. Just get out of that. And then fast forward, I have 150, 000 in a Vanguard account, all different tech companies and ETFs index funds. And, uh, I'm in corporate. I work for a company called Cognex. At this point, I started an inside sales engineering team, and then I got promoted to outside sales engineering.
My territory was, so they sell industrial automation equipment all across the world, machine vision, kind of the eyes of robotics, a picture of, you know, manufacturing facility with bottle water bottles going down a line and make sure the cap is on right on everyone and take pictures of Everyone and that kind of thing.
And so I did very very well and At that point I'm very successful externally. I'm very improvement oriented I'm very achievement oriented and I was definitely on my way to my dream and then I get in my car accident So I'm 26 at this point. This is back in 2015, which is almost 10 years ago now And I'm in New Hampshire with my So the only person who came back from my mom's side to this day, his name is Jeff, my cousin Jeff, and his son, Dan, is my second cousin, was in the car with me.
So I'm playing Call of Duty with Dan, we go to TGI Fridays, this is back in 2015, and I look down at the GPS, I look up, And I'm on the wrong side of the road. So it was a dark winter night. It was a three way intersection. The snow banks were covering the yield signs and I was supposed to yield and I didn't, my fault.
I ended up on the wrong side of the road. I look up and I see what I thought was a Mac truck in front of me, big, bright lights right in front of me. And I think this is the end for sure. There's no way, there's no way we survive this. My computer engineering brain just. Calculated that very quickly. Two things saved my life.
One, it wasn't a Mack truck. It was a lift kitted pickup truck. Number two, I drove a 2004 Volkswagen Passat and I used to call this car the tank because it was a German engineered steel trap of a car. It was a heavy car. I used to call it the tank and the tank totally saved my life. I've actually since found out that's one of the safest cars ever.
And so the, the front end was completely crushed. Abs I mean, this was no fender bender. This was a head on collision. This was bad. But the frame stayed. Both airbags deployed. My cousin and I are physically fine. He hurt his knee on the airbag, I hurt my face on the airbag. We're definitely rattled, but physically we're okay.
But remember, my dad died in a car crash when he was 28. So I'm 26 at the time. This is the second chance my dad never got. And so while my little cousin Dan is already tweeting about it, sort of invincible 17 year old, I'm completely shattered, just mentally, emotionally, and spiritually rattled. Beyond what i've ever experienced since it was just holy crap That very much could have been it because I think a lot of people have an intellectual understanding of death when my dad died I've never had just an intellectual understanding of mortality.
It's always been an emotional one It's always been something that my family has experienced And i've grew up my whole life hearing stories about john my dad and and right so for me Almost dying at 26 was the the ultimate wake up call And this was the second chance my dad never got so now this is obvious and and and there was post traumatic growth for sure Uh, but there was also I I was claustrophobic double yellow lines scared me for a while It was hard to get back in the car Uh, I used to have to puff my chest up and walk in and out of doors because of my claustrophobia So I I dealt with some some challenges for sure ptsd stuff from the car accident However, there was tons of post traumatic growth After that car accident, I found self improvement.
I found a Tony Robbins TED Talk, uh, still the best TED Talk ever done in my opinion, and regardless of what you think of Tony. And Uh, there was a book by Bronnie Ware called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. I actually still have flashcards here that I, uh, they're all tattered. I used to carry them around in my pocket everywhere.
But one of them is The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. It's, it says 2018 on it actually. Uh, but anyways, so I carry these around because that book, there's a woman named Bronnie Ware, I've interviewed her, Bronnie Ware from Australia. She wrote a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. She worked with the terminally ill.
For eight years in hospice and she saw these same regrets over and over and over again I wish I wish I wish The number one regret of the dying is I wish I had lived a life true to myself and not what others expected of me And there's a couple others on there, too. You know, I wish I had the courage to express my true feelings That's another big one, but I realized I had so many regrets So many and I don't even think I made poor choices compared to most people.
I just I just Think that if all of us were to really face mortality, I think we'd all have a lot of room.
I had Before 26, before my car accident, I was achievement oriented. I was improvement oriented. I had tons of friends, high school friends and college friends and corporate friends. My life was full of a lot of nonsense to be completely honest and I used to be too much of a coward to say that after 26 I found self improvement.
So instead of external achievement at the expense of internal fulfillment It became flip the script internal fulfillment and and external success will come Well, it turns out that doesn't work either, because I went past broke, liquidated all my assets, started my own company, and I was super fulfilled, happy, healthy, productive, fitness model, fitness competitor, fitness coach, I went all in on fitness.
I became this super internally fulfilled, well rounded, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually developed man, who was actually proud of himself. Really actually reaching my true potential for the first time, but yet I went broke. Uh, and so these are the four buckets that I now teach. The first one is we're unfulfilled and unsuccessful.
When I was 14, I was unfulfilled and unsuccessful. I was a cart kid and a bus boy at 16, and I was not doing well externally, and I certainly wasn't fulfilled internally. And I think that's where we all start. The second bucket is you are successful externally, but deeply unfulfilled internally. A lot of people are there.
That's where I was before 26. The third bucket is you understand yourself. You learn yourself, you are internally fulfilled physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually developed, and you're reaching your potential, but you're not successful externally. And then the fourth bucket is what I took me 30 years to get to.
More than 30 years, honestly, probably 32 years. Cause I'm going to be 36. It was about three years ago where I really felt like I got there. Now here's the thing. When you can look in the mirror and authentically say, I want my future to be an amplified version of what it already is. That means you got to the fourth bucket that that's what everyone wants and i'm not just saying this I coach 25 individuals currently I've coached hundreds over the years.
I've been mentoring for 10 years coaching for seven And thousands and thousands and thousands of hours I just got off a coaching session right before this with a woman named christy from canada Regardless of your background your country that there is those four buckets and you're in one of them And everyone, and I mean everyone, wants to get to that fourth bucket, which is I want my future to be an amplified version of what it already is, I am both externally successful and internally fulfilled, and I want this to be the metaphorical mountain that gets higher as I climb it.
And that's the infinite game we're all playing, but a lot of us get stuck in those first three buckets, and we don't know how to, uh, proceed. Yeah. You know, what you said there, really, that I was thinking about a lot, was the story that you're telling us now. There's a lot of realizations that weren't until recent.
And when I was writing my memoir and my faith based book, I actually wrote it with the precursor that There's so much in my life that sounds like obvious, like you should have known this, or you should have known that, or if you knew this, why didn't you do that? And I said, this book is very reminiscent of Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut, if I'm saying that right.
For anyone who hasn't read it, it's about, it's a crazy book. And the alien species in it, they see the past, present, and future all at once. And the guy, The main character experiences that, and so he tells the story, past, present, all, future, all, each chapter is like just a random spot in time, and so you know stuff that he didn't know at that time, and when we look back at our lives and we're telling other people our stories, that's how it is, because like you said, there is stuff that you're realizing now, like, this is what that actually was, and the example I use in my life is gaslighting, narcissism, manipulation, right, because there's so much of that that You don't see as you're growing up that you don't realize, especially like from my example, as I discussed in a previous episode on conformity, was that I didn't even know or have the ability to think about thinking independently.
And so when you're not, you know, it's so easy for people to say, hey, Why didn't you just do this or that? You know, I look back at my life I'm like, why didn't I just do that or that? I'm like I would if I had the knowledge I had now But we didn't and that's why I think it's so important to have people like you Mr.
Lazarus and people like myself and all the great guests that we both had Sharing this information and knowledge so that the younger people can get it Before they have their near fatal accident Like you said it took you almost losing your life to have that realization You Uh, and maybe everyone does need a death, you know, near death experience, but realistically, I think if our message, if our information can get through without that, then you can realize and what I really liked at the end there, you talk about our future just being what we're doing now, but better.
But so many people are chasing a future that is completely different from what they're doing now. And so it becomes a question of, which life is the, is the lie of unhappiness, what I'm living now or what I'm chasing after. So I think it's good to realize that you talk about that fourth bucket. And so you talk about, you had that self improvement, that post traumatic growth and all of that.
At what point did this lead to the creation of Next Level University? And how did that And because you know, you just go from starting your own business to now you're coaching people you're working with people left and right You've had thousands of episodes. How did that all fall into place? Yeah, uh The the first thing is conversations like this is i'm so grateful to have them and i'm so grateful They're out in the world for people because ultimately getting people thinking About their life in a different way is what can break things free unfortunately In order to listen to a conversation like this You You have to have a lot of humility.
And the car accident for me, I think there's three circles. I call them the three circles of the ego. The outer layer is who you want others to believe you are. That's perception. The next layer in is who you want to believe you are. And then the inner layer is who you really are. And the car accident collapsed all three of those circles into just one circle where everything I wanted others to believe about me, everything I wanted to believe about me, came crashing down.
And that's sort of the phoenix burned down, rise anew from the ashes metaphor. I've worked really hard. My new goal in life is to keep those three circles the same who I want others to believe I am who I want to believe I am and who I really am I want to make sure those circles stay the same I think some people are inflating and they Think they're way better than they really are and other people are deflating and pretending They're not great when they actually are amazing because they're cowards and that was me too, by the way uh, but ultimately the The problem with why mortality feels necessary to have these these breakthroughs is because mortality Humbles us to the to the core.
So maybe I didn't have the humility Necessary before my car accident to listen to an episode like this Maybe maybe the answers were all around me, but I wasn't looking And I think there's truth to that. I really do. I don't think it's a coincidence that I almost die in a car accident And i'm filled with regret And then I find a book called the top five regrets of the dying.
That's not a coincidence. It makes sense my my Brain and body and central nervous system is looking for answers And someone who's actually humble who's in pain is always looking for answers And and I think that's what the benefit of humility really is the problem is In order to actually go and embark on courageous journeys You need self belief and very rarely do self belief and humility walk hand in hand I had plenty of self belief My external achievement competence belief was super high.
I felt like very capable I always have felt very gifted and very capable and I need to be very clear about that because uh The people out there that do feel gifted and capable You're probably a social coward like me and never want to say it or admit it Uh for people who don't feel gifted and capable you probably secretly dislike certain people who everything comes easy to And it's important for you to know that While you are capable of a lot, not everyone's capable of everything.
Like, I'm not going to beat LeBron James at basketball. And no matter how hard I try, right? So genetic potential is a thing. However, we can all be better than we were yesterday. And I think that's really what matters is you, you versus your potential. Not you versus me, not me versus you. So when you talk about when did NLU come into the mix, next level university, and it's next level you pun intended.
So I talk about Alan 3. 6. This is the iPhone 15, uh, 14, actually iPhone 14. I think the 15 is out now, but. I always joke, because in 2007 when I was a senior, the first iPhone came out. And, uh, Steve Jobs and Apple came out with the first iPhone, and it was a revolutionary breakthrough. However, compared to the iPhone 14, it would be a ripe piece of garbage, in comparison.
It wouldn't even be close. So, hopefully, you, version 2. 2, and me, version 3. 6, Is going to be infinitely, uh, exponentially better, more effective, more capable than me 2. 6 or me 1. 6. And so we're all upgrading and evolving over time, hopefully by reflecting on our past and, and investing that in the now toward a bigger, better, brighter future.
Uh, by the way, I have landscapers outside. I apologize if you can hear that. It is what it is. We're rolling with it. I'm spilling stuff. We've got landscapers. We're out here doing it. So when did next level you come into the mix? Next level, you next level version of yourself. Okay. Kevin and I started a podcast.
So I had a podcast called conversations change lives almost eight years ago Kevin was my first guest my business partner who apparently is coming on your show soon I believe this will be see if things go as planned the episode after uh next week. So yeah Nice. Okay, so check it out everyone He's the yin to my yang the yang to my inner whatever we're business partners.
And uh, I'm also a business partner with my beautiful girlfriend, Amelia, as well. So it's just very cool. What can happen when you, when you partner up, uh, in business with the right people and then in intimate relationship with the right person. But anyways, so I had a podcast called conversation, change lives.
He was my first guest and he had a podcast called the hyperconscious podcast, change the way you think, change the way you act, change the way you live. Right. And I was his first guest. And then eventually we just. And we started the worst named podcast in history, which is the conversations change lives meets hyperconscious podcast.
And then eventually we went all in on hyperconscious and then we were off to the races and we rebranded to next level university level up your health, wealth, life, and love probably around episode 700 or so. And now we're, we just crossed actually earlier this morning, we recorded an episode. The average length of the episodes is about a half hour and we just surpassed 1850.
So we just recorded 1, 850 earlier today. I just uploaded that for our production team. And now we have a large company. Next level university is the name of the company. Next level universe. com is the website, but now we have next level you and we have podcast growth university. We have business growth university that I'm starting.
So Kevin's the podcast guy. I'm the business guy. Some podcasters want to start a business. Some business owners need a podcast and then everyone needs to grow themselves. So it's grow yourself, grow your podcast, grow your business is kind of the deal. But that was all. And now we have a 19 person team. Uh, we're heard in over 175 countries now.
And we actually are starting a group coaching program that's launching tonight. We already have the group filled. We've done 16 groups every quarter. And it's all podcasters for the first time, so this is very cool. But ultimately, the point of Next Level University is a place you go to learn. How to reach your potential some of you want to reach your potential in growing yourself Some people want to reach your potential in growing your podcast and your community some people want to reach their potential in growing their business and generating revenue and honestly, all three of those are very Important depending on whether or not you want a podcast but at the end of the day, that's what we're about Which is growing yourself because that's where everything starts I think I think everything starts where I started at 14, which is taking personal responsibility for your own future You For your own next level.
And I think we're all trying to get to that fourth bucket where we're both externally successful and internally fulfilled and they feed each other rather than one at the expense of the other. Right. And we've talked a little bit about, cause there's a few things I want to touch upon that you mentioned.
And we've talked about time, uh, quite a bit here. And it's really interesting, just the human mind and the concept of time, because I compare it to an accordion where. Right, you took 36 years and condensed it down, right? But then if you were to stretch it out, it'd be 36 years and you could even stretch out moments.
So I've always compared time, uh, quite a bit to an accordion because it can seem so short and so long at the same time, right? I mean, yesterday could feel like yesterday or it could feel like 10 years ago. So it's very interesting. And just looking back at some things. And I know in the military, we used to say the, uh, the days are long, but the weeks are short because every day felt like the longest day.
And then next thing you know, it's like, Oh, it's Sunday, the week's over. And of course what your lifestyle impacts that significantly, you know, in the military, I talk about how, for me personally, it felt like time was doubled. I was awake for longer hours than before I was working weekends and holidays, rotating shift work.
So. Every week felt like two weeks, you know, the more you sleep, the less you're awake, the quicker time goes by. Uh, but I bring that all up in relation to the mortality of life, right? Because you realized how fast life can end, how short life can be. And I think sometimes, you know, caught up in so much stuff in the world that we feel like every day is forever, right?
Some days feel really long and you're like, man, I can't believe I'm going to have so many more years of this. And then. Boom. Those years are gone. And so, in relation to that, if you really want to get, ladies and gentlemen, without, you know, crashing a car or doing anything crazy, a book I really recommend is the Book of Ecclesiastes.
So, whether you're religious or not, this is a great book to read. Regardless of if you believe in God or not, whether you think he's God or not, the Book of Ecclesiastes really talks about this guy, this, this guy who, you know, supposedly is King Solomon, who just He had more money than anyone, more wisdom than anyone.
He saw generations come and go. And in that book, he writes about how meaningless everything under the sun is. And it's a book that is how you interpret it. But I think one of the most important lessons you learn from it is just how short and temporary life is. And you can either be discouraged by that or encouraged by that.
I think it's important to be encouraged, right? I mean, we've probably seen plenty of people who Like, Mr. Lazarus here could have gone into a depression for the rest of his time saying, man, I almost died. And life is short. Life has no meaning if I could die any day, right? It's really how you take it. So, and one thing you mentioned is this conversation only Is good for those who actually want to listen to it in the sense of people who are willing to be humble and admit that I think especially with some of my mental health episodes on men's mental health vulnerability on some of the conversations about sexual intimacy about social media.
Because there's so much denial and a lot of times that denial comes from that third layer of ego How we want people to perceive us right? No social media isn't controlling me. I'm not doom scrolling. I can stop when I want right? alcoholism gambling toxic relationships all this pornography stems from deny Yeah, pornography is a great example denial of you know that perception and also we don't want to believe that about ourselves, I think that second ego is so important because You If we're addicted to something, well, we don't want to be an addict, not in the eyes of others or ourselves, because human beings love control.
And if we're addicted to something or continually have a habit that is, maybe not an addiction, but a habit that is taking over our life, I mean, we don't want to surrender control to that, right? We don't want people to think we have, and we don't want to acknowledge that we have. So I think it's important, and you talked about the flip side of it.
You talk about deflation. And people, you know, not expressing themselves. And I think now more than ever, that's an issue, which I'm not going to get too political here, but with all the focus on race, right, there's a lot of shame towards, you know, white people saying it's white privilege or it's this or that.
And then you have on the other end, this almost shame towards colored individuals saying like, Hey, you know, you, you can't do this because of this, or you're held back because of this. And like you said, sure, there's some things that are just genetic, but there's plenty of things that aren't, and we're having these associations to shame people or idolize people, sometimes idolizing people who haven't achieved much, and then sometimes putting down people who have done great, and I've talked before on the show about diversity billets and how some companies, some colleges, colleges, are using diversity billets not as a way to acknowledge something, but they are just accepting a candidate based solely on race or skin color rather than actual, you know, qualifications.
And I, I've heard people say at best, you know, we don't care if the doctor or the pilot is, you know, white, black, gay or whatever, as long as they can do the job. That's what's important because we're pedestalizing, we're idolizing people, putting them up on a pedestal. Okay. Uh, who aren't qualified and I think the flip side to it like you talked about is shame.
Uh, you know, and, and maybe it's the other way. I know I talked about people saying white privilege, this or silver spoon, that, but on the other end, you have stereotypes where people who are colored are, you know, maybe excelling in something and they're ashamed of it because it's associated with their race.
You're only good at that because of that. So I think that's always been an issue, but I think now more than ever with social media and political agendas, that's just another layer of that, how other people perceive us, how we perceive ourselves. And that's on top of. The self esteem issues when it comes to all the beauty standards on, you know, social media with, uh, women know certain body weights being better than others.
Um, and then both sides, right? All the filters as well. Yeah. We've, well, we've talked also with, yeah, imaging and all that. Yeah. But also just the flip side, right? Cause there's, there's two sides to every story. Uh, just also idolizing the fat is beautiful movement, therefore it's healthy, and then creating this concept of, you know, beauty equals health, and beauty equals money, and all this stuff.
And um, i'll pass it back over to you to bounce any ideas off of that. Well, I think ultimately you went down a very Courageous road there and i'm grateful for that because I think if we avoid uncomfortable conversations, I think we're in some serious trouble And we're going to be very naive and so i'm grateful that you're willing to face On a public medium, some of the potential risks of sharing hard truths.
So, uh, I gave up, I always joke, I say, caffeine's my last remaining vice. And I never used to be courageous enough to share this stuff on, on public mediums, but I think it's important. I quit alcohol. I quit drugs. I quit pornography. It's been years. Alcohol was Almost six years ago five or six years ago. I used to count the days.
I stopped counting Right because I do feel free of it and I know I no longer will ever drink again Uh, that's my personal choice, even though it was hard at first it now I know it's it's good Yeah, uh, but I used to count before it before uh, and then and then drugs and pornography and all that it's been years and years and years and What I will say is this that rabbit hole of You Perception and the layers of the ego and then the flip side of everything Two things came to mind.
One is personal responsibility You have to you have to be very careful and and stand guard at the door of your mind You have to be very careful of what you're listening to because there's constructive and destructive everything is constructive or destructive Right. Some people could say well alcohol helps me with social anxiety.
So it's constructive. Okay, but binge drinking is destructive, right? So yeah, everything can be Constructive or destructive the question is you have to put it into your own context and you have to take responsibility for your own life So it's not my fault that my dad died when I was two It's not my fault.
My stepdad left when I was 14, right? But it is my responsibility to make a great life out of that because no one's gonna come and save me The only person that can that can help me build a bigger better brighter future is me now Does that guarantee I have a great future? No, I am up against certain things.
I also have certain advantages, right? I can tell you some of my advantages a lot of people See me and they see the awards in the background and they see the blonde hair and the blue eyes and they see You know white caucasian six foot two american male. I understand that I have advantages I do These are my three advantages number one.
I am gifted You I'm, very, very, very, very, very intelligent and you're not allowed to say that but i've decided to be courageous enough to actually say it Yeah, I always I could go to I could party all night not go to class and still get straight A's in calculus I was just that dude. Okay, right Uh number two Is I was born in a country Invests in powerful minds I wouldn't have been able to go one of the bet to one of the best engineering schools in the world colleges in the World if it wasn't for my massachusetts and the u.
s Giving me financial aid and scholarships, right? Okay, and yeah, I got straight A's in high school and yeah, I earned those scholarships, but I'm very grateful If I was born in another country that didn't have those privileges, I I wouldn't be where I am today Okay, i'm also in the biggest economy in the world.
I know that the u. s is by far statistically the largest economy in the world It's not close. Okay, and the next closest is china and you can look all this up Now the third advantage that I had is I had tons of self belief. Is that because of the genetic potential? I don't know. Is it because You I had a mom who taught me to aim high, single mother, maybe, uh, the point is, is those are the three advantages that I have.
I had, I believed in myself at level 10 to a drastic extent, and I didn't know how much until later, but it's clear in hindsight. Uh, number two, I was definitely very intellectually gifted, I still am. And number three, I was born in a country that invested in my brain and my education. And if I didn't have those three things, I wouldn't be where I am today, and I know that.
However, what I want to make very clear is when people meet me and they see a silver spooner, it couldn't have been farther from the truth. And that's why when I open with my story, it's very important because I very easily could have been nothing. My business partner, Kevin, grew up in very humble beginnings as well.
And we both didn't have dads. He didn't meet his dad until he was 27. My dad died at 2. Uh, we spent every Father's Day together. Now we have Next Level Hope Foundation with, where we host two events a year. One is, uh, it's for kids with single parents. And it was for Boys Without Fathers, and we expanded it.
Uh, every Father's Day and every holiday, we, we rent out a YMCA, and we make a traditionally sad time into a really play, playful time, and we get to be kids again, and it's, it's awesome, and it's a bunch of kids, and we play basketball and soccer, and we eat pizza, and we have arts and crafts and stuff, it's awesome.
But ultimately, the, the important piece of this is, Kevin and I could have been nothing. We could have said, life is meaningless, and poor us, and we didn't have dads, and that's why we didn't make it. Instead of what we decided was Okay, I didn't have a dad, so I'm gonna be the best dad. I don't know if he's gonna be a father, I think he might adopt, but I'm gonna be a father.
And, I'm not yet. Emily and I are intending. Uh, and by intending, we're, she's not pregnant yet or anything. But, my point is, is that, it's the meaning you associate, it's the beliefs. It's the beliefs that you, you can be nihilistic and say, what's the point? And you can smoke cigarettes, even though they kill you, or you can become a health coach and try to do your best.
And the health coach might die young and the cigarette smoker might live to 95. But statistically speaking, that's not the case. You also could win the lottery or you could die in a plane crash, even though most planes don't crash. So you got to look at the numbers. You got to look at the probability. I'm an engineer.
I'm a numbers thinker. So in my head, listen, me. It's the, the hand you're dealt, it's how you play it. And life is an infinite game. And it's a series of finite games within an infinite game. A finite game is I'm going to be when this chess match, an infinite game is I'm going to become the best chess master that I can be.
And so all of us are playing chess master after chess match, after chess match, a bunch of finite games within an infinite game. And the point is we're all climbing a metaphorical mountain that gets higher as you climb it. There is no end state except for mortality. Do you want to, this is what I've come to.
I want to be able to authentically say I gave all I had. I did all I could with all I had. And the truth is at 26, when I got into that car accident, I couldn't say that. I couldn't say I did all I could with all I had, even though I had privileges and disadvantages, I couldn't say I did all I could with all I had.
And now I can, I can say that now. And I can, I'm living in a way that's aligned with that. And so I don't think people can be fulfilled internally without giving their all. We all have different potential. We all have different genetics. We all have different socioeconomic backgrounds. We all have different cultures and religions.
We all have different countries. However, we If you are doing all you can with all you have and you can authentically say that I do believe you will be fulfilled And that I think is what the world desperately needs which is more fulfilled human beings I agree and what you touched upon without saying it directly was that people just love to make excuses to blame shift because then We had this idea, if it's not our fault, then we're a good person in other people's eyes, in our own eyes.
So, a great example is, you could have, you know, just continued to live a life that you weren't happy with and blame it on your father, blame it on your stepfather, and just continually blame them to make an excuse. Same with if someone is looking at your success and saying, well, it's because Mr. Lazarus is white or 60 or any of that.
They're trying to excuse something that they can't control, right? Because they can control, you know, how much effort they put into education, how much, you know, they go to the gym, whatever it may be. But if it's something they can't control, they feel justified, like, well, I can't do anything about it. And I think you said, you know, it's so important to, if you get rid of all those excuses and anything you can blame, then you've done everything you can and you can have that fulfillment.
So I think that's really important. And so we talked a bit about, we mentioned, you know, your co your group coaching sessions, individual business, podcast growth, all these different resources on your website, uh, who should really check it out because when we say we're going to help, you know, get to the next level, I mean, level of.
Of what and where and when, you know, who exactly, because we all have different levels we're trying to achieve. Like I said, in the beginning and can encompass a lot of different things. And we heard some words like business and podcasts, but we know that's not what it's limited to. So could you please explain that to us?
Absolutely, yeah. So, Next Level University is the brand and the business and the podcast, the main podcast, the 1850 Episode 1. And it's 1 percent improvement in your pocket from anywhere on the planet, every single day, completely free. And I do believe that if you're out there and you have humility, And you really do want to reach your potential and next level universe.
com is a place you'll find resources to do it. We have a book club. We do monthly meetups every month. We have group coaching every quarter. Uh, I do one on one coaching for business owners. Kevin does one on one coaching for podcasters, and then, uh, we have all kinds of stuff. We have a journal called the next level dreamlander that helps you streamline towards your dreams and stay on point and I did it This morning kevin uses it every morning, too It takes seven minutes a day and you'll be way more productive It starts with gratitude and then your most important tasks and then it talks about your most important win from yesterday and your most important Improvement from yesterday, uh, and then your next level lesson is what we call it You try to learn something new every day Uh, and then there's a journal prompt in there too But i'm i'm ultimately not here to sell anything what i'm here to do if i'm going to sell anyone on anything You It's it's self improvement health wealth life and love holistic self improvement I don't want to be healthy and wealthy and not in love.
I don't want to be in love and healthy and broke I don't want to be Uh, I don't want to be at the top of the mountain Unhealthy right and and to me i've had so many mentors and coaches. I'm, very grateful Uh, and several of them have been multi millionaires and actually one billionaire and some of them are really miserable human beings Not all of them But some of them are, and, you know, some of them are divorced, and some of them are unhappy, and, and deeply unfulfilled, and they lack purpose and meaning, and that's really what we're all after.
We're all after purpose, and meaning, and passion, and virtue, and we want our life to matter. And the way that your life matters is reach your potential your unique potential and help others do the same and Grow and contribute and and build a business that that's meaningful because work sucks It always has and it always will people always say well You're a podcaster you do what you love if you do what you love you never work a day in your life That's some bullshit.
It's a lot is what that is. Yeah, it's a lot of work. I work six days a week every week I haven't taken a full day off in nine freaking years and that's okay like I The point of life is not to rest and relax. Rest and relax is, I call it R4. Rest, relaxation, rejuvenation, and recharge. R4 is not the purpose of life.
R4 is a necessity to reach your potential. I have to find my recharge. You have to recharge your iPhone. You have to recharge yourself, too. But the point of the iPhone is not to charge it. Right. And I think a lot of people think life is about fun or life is about rest and relaxation. That's not true. And the people that I've met who have that belief system are deeply unfulfilled, usually.
And they're going from boat to boat or party to party. And I've been guilty of that too. I get it. Uh, but really what matters is, is really reaching for it, really going for it. And, uh, Next Level University is for someone who has the humility to, to actually work on themselves and to, to grow themselves toward their true potential.
I think that's, if, if that is you, please reach out and, uh, you know, check out the website. Yeah, I agree. So to, to sum it up, you talked about gratitude, humility, and self improvement and really achieving that last one through the first two. And I think gratitude comes with humility because, uh, you know, acknowledging and thanking people for some of the stuff in your life, uh, it can be difficult, especially some of the worst stuff in your life.
Uh, you know, asking for help is not easy, uh, especially there's a lot of, like we said, between our own egos and then all the barriers, uh, through social media, through mainstream media, through just the way humans interact with each other, uh, there's a lot of barriers. But those barriers can be broken down by humility, and people think broken down is a negative thing, that humility is a negative thing.
But pride and ego push away so much in your life, and so having the humility to appreciate others, appreciate what you have in your life, sets you up on a good path for that self improvement. So ladies and gentlemen, you can find the website in the description below, the podcast, all of that. Mr. Lazarus. I do this at the end of every episode, but especially in the spirit of gratitude, appreciate you coming on the show and all the people you work with and what you do.
And I thank you for coming on. It has been a genuine pleasure. I started with gratitude. I want to end with gratitude and well, I have to go to the bathroom desperately. I enjoyed every second of this. Keep doing what you're doing, my friend, and keep spreading awareness. I think awareness is a great thing.
