Now, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode, a couple of nukes. As always, I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey, and today I am here with Ricky d Schluter.
He is a published author and the head coach and CEO of Accepting Truth Finding Hope. And in the description for the podcast, you can find a link to his website as well as his book. And may I say, Ricky, what a beautiful cover you have for that book. That book cover is gorgeous. Hey, thanks Mr. Whiskey. I appreciate that.
Um, it kinda came out of really, uh, something I saw in my mind's eye because I have been in a lot of life storms and I'm sure your, you know, folks listening in can relate to that. Sometimes life can just be downright cruel and difficult, and we find ourselves in those storms. And the idea behind the book cover was that that little boat sitting there in the middle of, of a peaceful, you know, part of the waters while a storm rages around them, that's the hope that we all want.
And I was trying to embody that in the book cover. So I appreciate you, uh, calling that out and, uh, appreciate the compliment. Yeah, of course. And you know, it's also that. Jesus Christ gives us a special kind of peace, you know, he said, not, not as the world gives you, but as I give you, so a different kind of hope and peace.
And I also wanna mention that you've been on A, B, CCBS, Fox News, NBC, just to name a few platforms. And so can you go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself, about accepting truth, finding hope? Yeah, happy to. So I'm, I'm a dad. I guess first and foremost, I've got, uh, two kids, a 16-year-old daughter.
And because God has a sense of humor, I have a 2-year-old son. And, uh, uh, beyond that, professionally, I spent most of my career in law enforcement. I had, I had wanted to, to do, uh, uh, special forces in the military, but I had been diagnosed with asthma at the age of eight. And I didn't know that you weren't supposed to put that on paperwork.
So that ruled me out from, uh, from service and pissed me off at the same time. But. I was fortunate to, to kinda go live out some of that same dream, if you will, uh, as a, as a police officer and as a detective, and got to do a lot of cool shit, uh, in, in that regard. And, you know, God just kind of threw me some curve balls and, you know, took me on these, you know, different, different roads that weren't things that I wanted to do, but it turned out to be the best thing for me.
And, uh, now I'm at a place where, uh, I can't think about doing anything but the things that I know he wants me to do. So there's been a lot of transformation that's occurred. We can kind of dive into that if you want, but, um, I guess brass tacks right now, running my own business, as you mentioned, accepting truth, finding hope, uh, that came out of a, a book that I had published in February of 2022.
Spent five years writing it. And, uh, a lot of, uh, a lot of life, uh, lived that went into it. I had to live every one of those chapters and. I didn't really understand why, uh, I was doing these things, you know, writing the book and, and all that. But now as I, I had this business that's really a counseling alternative.
Uh, I myself struggled with PTSD and I had a lot of trauma from childhood and that sort of thing. And so I, I, I buried it all down. I didn't, you know, really take care of myself from a mental health perspective. And I waited way too damn long. But when I finally went, you know, all they wanted to do was ask me, how does that make you feel?
And push drugs down my throat. And I thought none of this is helping me deal with my underlying issues with the circumstances that I'm trying to overcome. And so, uh, lo and behold, you know, that was God's way of saying, I'm gonna show you a better way. I wanna show you how to go and help other people heal.
So here I am, Mr. Whiskey, uh, trying to reach folks who maybe they've been failed by that same system and, um, you know, help them to, you know. Identify, overcome and grow from those negative life circumstances that sometimes just really pin us down. Right. And I wanna address a few things you mentioned, and one thing I do wanna bring up, ladies and gentlemen, just a little plug for myself, is if you check out one of our episodes that came out just recently, Marines and Sailors five, I sat down with Shinra who kind of addresses as well.
He was suffering from PTSD. He was one of the first veterans to really be treated in the new program after nine 11 and Iraq. And he talked about how the VA just treated him and all his buddies as we're just gonna give you all these drugs until you're happy and you know, you're as high as a cut and forget about everything.
Uh, so we definitely want, can talk about that today as well with Ricky here about, you know, what. Part of the traditional, you know, mental health process, traditional medical processes when it comes to PTSD and stuff like that. But Ricky, you brought up two points out of four that I wanted to mention. The first being childhood trauma.
So that's something that a lot of service members, uh, deal with, I've found through my interactions with them. A lot of them, yeah, now have childhood trauma and a lot of 'em, that's the reason they joined, was to escape from home or to be better than what their parents were or something like that. The second thing you mentioned was PTSD and specifically Ricky.
Are you familiar with the term gaslighting? Oh, very much so, yes. Right. So just not to spoil it ladies and gentlemen, but as Ricky and I have discussed prior to the episode, and as you can find in his bio bit, I. He was being gaslit, you know, lied to and you know, kind of told things about himself that weren't true or that were negative exaggerations.
And that's something you find often in the military and it comes in two forms. Now. There is a healthy nurturing form of it in the military, especially in bootcamp, where they're trying to build you up as a person. But there's also a lot of toxic leadership. I have personally experienced it and I have felt a lot of my shipmates that I've talked to, and even soldiers and other branches have been lied to by their chains of command.
They've been told, you know, awful things. And even when they're doing everything they're supposed to, or when it's the chain of command's fault, there's a lot of blame shifting. And blame shifting, you know, is a part of that, you know, shifting the blame onto us, shifting the blame onto Ricky or my fellow sailors and making us feel like.
Awful human being when we did everything we were supposed to. And then Ricky didn't bring it up now, but negative Destressors. How things such as childhood trauma and PTSD push us to negative destressors. And Ricky, if you can confirm with me, the ones I have seen the most among military members and any, any one of these that you have experienced would be, you know, smoking, drinking, addiction to women or acts of a sexual nature, you know, all these negative destressors where excessive sleeping, Ricky, you know, what has been your experience with that?
Because a lot of times when there's PTSD or childhood trauma like that, you know, we fall into these bad habits, these negative destressors, we start smoking excessively. I. You know, we get addicted to drugs or alcohol. You know, I have sailors who go home from work and they start drinking a whole bottle of wine or vodka just to forget about everything.
Or, you know, they just use other people as sexual objects to get out all their rage and frustration in very unhealthy ways. And just can you comment on that and your personal experience with that for a little bit? Oh God, yes. You, you're, you're spot on. Mr. Whiskey. The, the, you know, I, I started drinking, I guess at probably 13, smoking a pack a day at 15.
And Wow. You know, I was, yeah. I mean, e every, every, uh, uh, I don't say every female, but there was a lot. Yeah. It was a target rich environment, you know, to, to right quote the, you know, the top gun quote. Yeah. So I, I ended up becoming a full-blown sex addict and didn't even know it, but that's how I was self-medicating.
That that was my, I call it my book, my self-soothing s you know, I ran to that because I wanted love is what I wanted. Right. And I didn't even know how to, to, to get it. Um, and I was striving for acceptance. You know, I was, I was trying to force people to, to love me, but, but I wanted it so damn bad. And I thought, well, you know, that's, that's one way, I guess from a romantic, you know, air quote relationship, uh, situation.
Right. That, you know, I can, I guess I can fuck my way into love. Well, you can't, you know, right. It doesn't, it doesn't work that way. You can't drink your way into it. You can't drug your way into it. Um, all it does is leave you worse off than where you started. Um. And so it's, it's, it really comes back to what's called the anatomy of a stronghold.
And I, and, and I wish this was something that was taught, uh, to the masses, but it's not. And I, I don't know that you'll hear it in, in many forums. And let me ask you this, Mr. Whisky, have you ever heard of the concept of the anatomy of the stronghold? I have not. And I'd love for you to elaborate on it. All right, so you kind of already talked about it, and so you, you're familiar with it, but you just may not know the, the nomenclature and what it is, is that when we, when we buy lies, okay, when, if your, if your parents are abusive to you and they say, you know, you're worthless, you're never gonna amount to a damn thing.
Well, those lies are a frontal attack on your identity. And when you buy them, when you believe them, then that causes you to then form improper belief systems. Okay? Not only about yourself, but about the world, but about your parents. Usually you project what you believe about your parents onto God. If you believe there's a God.
And then from there you're gonna develop negative coping behaviors like we just talked about. And then we get stuck on that rat wheel of insanity, you know? And, and, and we begin to try our best to either overcome what those lies are by striving for the acceptance of others to say, Hey, let me prove you wrong.
You, you got it wrong about me. And that's what I did, uh, most of my life, honestly, why I, you know, wanted a football scholarship. It's why I wanted to, to be, uh, in special forces. As I mentioned earlier, it's why I wanted to be in law enforcement. It's why I volunteered to be the first guy in the door.
Subconsciously I wanted to get off this blue marble. Okay. I wanted to die. Right? That hero syndrome. Yeah. Consciously, I wasn't trying to die. I just didn't give a shit if I did, because I knew my life didn't matter. At least that's what I thought. Why? Because I had formed improper belief systems, right? And, and I had these negative coping behaviors that were just causing my all of that to be worse.
As opposed to better. Right. And what you're talking about, there's actually a term for it because, you know, it was mentioned when I was seeing Navy Medical and a lot of military members have it, you know, the doctor told me it's called Morbid curiosity. And what morbid curiosity is, is this, you're not actively seeking to die, but it'll be like, me and soldiers will be walking across the street and we'll just think if a bus hit me right now, I wouldn't care.
I, or if we're walking across the Hangar Bay in the ship and we're like, I, I hope a metal girder falls on my head. You know, that kind of stuff. So you kind of had that mentality as well. Did you have that when you were on the force? Like if, if a burglar, an armed robber shoots me, I guess that's it. Oh yeah.
Well, think about it this way. Like, you know, I'm sure servicemen and women do the same thing that police officers do every morning. You wake up, you look yourself in the mirror and you say, all right, if I go ahead and accept the fact that I'm going to die today, then I can make it through this day.
Otherwise I'm gonna be scared shitless. Right? So you almost have to accept the fact that I'm dead, I'm a dead man walking, and, and if that happens, so be it. You know? And so I, I don't know if that is part of that morbid curiosity or if it's a coping mechanism. I'm really not sure how to describe that.
Have you ever felt that way, Mr. Whiskey, when, during your service time or, or does that make sense? I.
It does, but I think there's two sides of it, right? One side you're addressing is this, you know, it's kind of a subconscious bravery triggering, right? That. I gotta accept that this job comes with, you know, yeah. Injury or a possibility of death. And then I think there's also the people who are so unhappy with their lives and they're not getting the proper help or the treatment and they just feel like the only help they'll ever get is call it the sweet release of death.
And they're not actively seeking it because, you know, they wake up, they do their thing, and they know eventually one day, you know, it's, it's all temporary, the suffering. But at the same time they're like, if it came to an end right now, it wouldn't matter. And a big part of that for service members is, you know, they emphasize stay connected with your family, with your friends and everyone back home.
But it's very difficult to, and I don't remember who said it. I saw some guy online that said, our family members and friends get used to us being away. You know, they're used to us being gone. 'cause he was talking about when you transition outta the military. You try to go back to how things were before you left, but it's like people got used to living without you.
They stopped inviting you to events because you were always busy. You could, you didn't have leave days or you couldn't travel or this and that, you know, but we didn't get used to living without them. We just knew that we were too busy. We were focused on a mission and we get out and we try to reconnect and it's very difficult for us.
And there's also just not a lot of time, especially for the men and women in Reactor or anywhere in the military, where you have to stand 24 hour duty days or work overnight or work the holidays and, and weekends. And that's a big part about the military, is giving them that time. And I think that disconnection, you know, plays a big part.
And then the other big part is you're surrounded by people with the same mindset. So the more people you're surrounded with who are like, Hey, you know, if, if the whole ship blew up today, I. At least we don't have to go to work. You know, we all feed off of each other. I think that's a big part of it as well.
Yeah, I agree with that. The, the subculture of the brotherhood, if I can call it that, sisterhood for those who are female, forgive me for Right. Just isolating it to men. But I think I, I'm using that colloquial and Right. The misery loves company. Yeah. That And how do you, especially if you're in a forward, you know, you know, en environment where you're in the thick of it, how do you, how do you go home and relate to people who have no clue what you just saw?
How do you, how do you do that? And, you know, in my first marriage, I was a train wreck and I was a detective and, you know, I was on call 24 7 and right. Saw that I still can't wash off. My brain was in some heroin situations and I'd come home from, you know, a call out where I'd be gone for a day and a half and, and my, my then wife would say, Hey, what was it?
What, what did you have to do? And I would just tell her, I don't want to even tell you because I don't want you to have to know what I know. Like I'd rather you just lived in peace. I can't because I know the things that I know, but I don't want to screw you up with that. Well, she would take it as I didn't want to talk to her.
Well, no, it's, it's, how can I tell you what I just saw? Right. Can I, there's blissful ignorance. Yeah. A man's head cut off with his own penis in his mouth. Who wants to hear that? Right? Nobody. Right. That's awful. Yeah. And, and I'm sure you know guys and gals tuning in who have experienced that in war. Uh, you know that full well.
Uh, so Oh yeah. Who do you talk to? Right? Well, I didn't talk to anybody. That's what I messed up other than my brothers. And I'm coming back to that subculture of the brotherhood like you were mentioning. Right. And it's like, I found that I only had cop friends. Like all my civilian friends had kind of faded away because to your point, I was too damn busy.
I'm always, you know, at work, my identity, my first name became detective and I didn't know anybody who wasn't in law enforcement. I didn't, I couldn't relate to them. I didn't wanna relate to them, you know, uh, because they couldn't understand me. Right. No, I, I totally understand that because, you know, I have a couple civilian friends, but it's like, I also get frustrated with them, you know?
'cause in the military, I always bred to, I can go off of two hours of sleep, I can cram my schedule to fit all this stuff. And, and you know, I always bring up this example, and, and some people might, you know, knock it. But I had gone on a date with a civilian woman and she was complaining about, she worked a five hour shift at Vineyard Vines.
You know, not a sponsor, but it's a simple clothing store. She worked a five hour shift where she's on her phone for half of it and she's complaining how tired she is. It's an awful day at work. Meanwhile, you know, I had a 12 hour shift on a submarine or whatever it was, and then I, or I drove two hours after the 12 hour shift to go on a date with her.
And she's like, well, I'm kind of tired. I don't know if I really want to go out to dinner. You know? And even dating aside, my civilian friends are always just, I find they just have a different drive to do things than me. You know, my military buddies and I, you know, we try to make the most of our free time because, you know, when, when we work, we're, we're on grind time, and when we have our free time, we know how limited it is.
And so, even getting out, I found out, like I just mostly hang out with veterans and, you know, active duty guys. And another thing you said was the things you see, uh, when you serve and. My father was a cop for 25 years and he kind of made her home in prison. I grew up, you know, not really allowed to leave the house, not allowed to have certain friends, not allowed to do stuff.
He wouldn't let me use a stove or chew gum or drink coffee or, you know, the outside world was so dangerous and I never understood why he was so controlling and protective. And my grandfather pointed it out to me one day. He goes, Mr. Whiskey, your father has seen the worst side of people being a cop. You deal with the worst side of people, criminals, and people who do crazy things.
And you, like you said, mutilate bodies. Uh, homewrecker, he's a guy who's been on the podcast before and he is gonna come back on and share some of his stories. He became, when he got outta the service recently, he's now a prison guard. And just to give you a a example, they arrested someone and brought someone in.
This young man had forced, he scooped out the eyeball of a 60-year-old lady and forced her to eat it. I mean, that's sick. It's just sick. And it's like, how do you, like you said, Ricky, how do you, you know, you don't wanna tell your, your wife and children that, you know, you don't, you don't want them to know that kind of stuff.
You just, you don't even wanna think about it yourself. It is kind of scarring. No, no. You, but, yeah. But, but what do you do with it though? You know, you Right. Most people, at least I'll speak for myself, but I think most people do this too. We, we just kind of push it down. We try to, right? We try to say, well, that was yesterday.
You know, that was an unfortunate situation. That was, that was this, that was that. But you know, Ajax won't wash it off your brain and you just try to compartmentalize it. Keep on going, right? Keep your mission, you know, rely on your training and all that crap. They tell us, uh, which there's truth to it, but.
But what I think is a shame is that the system, and I'm gonna kind of call it that across the board, right, isn't set up for you to be able to come back from any situation and go to your, your, your chain of command and say, Hey, that event that shook me. Because if you do, what, what's the likelihood? Or at least what, what's our thought?
Well, I'm not, they're gonna call you a pussy. They're gonna say just Yeah, man up. Get over it. Especially you have those older guys who have been in for years. I mean, yeah, they'll just call you a quiver and pussy and you need, you gotta get over it, you know, man up. There's worse out there. That's right.
That's right. That, or they'll tell you, well, you ain't fit for duty. You know, go do something else. Go work at, you know, at, at the retail store because, you know, you're not, you're not cut out for this. Um, yeah, and it, you know, that's wrong. You know, just because you're. Uncomfortable with something or something was, you know, a bit tr uh, traumatizing or something that, you know, you kind of need to talk about or see help for.
That doesn't mean you're not fit to serve at all. But like you said, Ricky, I mean we used to hear in the, in the fleet all the time, well, maybe you should just go work at McDonald's. That was the number one example. Even in civilian world, anywhere I've ever worked, it's always been like, well, maybe you should go work at McDonald's and be a cashier.
And it's like, look, I just saw a guy, you know, get blown up in Iraq and, and, and or children or women and children know overseas. Sometimes it happens and it's like, what I want to emphasize too is you talk about boxing it up and a lot of men and women, you know, think they can do it because they've been doing it for years.
And I agree with that. I've also boxed up a lot of things, but it will come out eventually and. There's proof of that because I've had Vietnam veterans on the show, and you should check out those episodes because those guys' stories are amazing. It's crazy what they live through. I mean, it's a whole different world, that generation and those episodes are definitely worth a listen.
But when I spoke to them, one of them had said he, the stuff that he saw in Vietnam, the PTSD, all that didn't come out till 40 years later. Eventually, you know, it's like he put it in a concrete box in his mind and, and, and the storms of his mind and, and life. Right. Ricky, like you said, uh, life is a bunch of storms eroded it until it all started seeping out 40 years later.
And Ricky, as far as I am aware, and correct me if I'm wrong, the stuff you boxed up didn't come out till, I mean, decades later, correct? Yeah, it was, yeah. I mean, four decades for me, so my. My world kind of fell apart at about eight years old. Um, my dad had, he kinda came from nothing. My mom and dad both did.
And you know, he worked hard to build the business that he had, and a man had defrauded him for like $90,000 and like 1979, which is a lot of money, you know, right back then. And, you know, it ruined him. And the IRS ended up coming and seizing everything that we owned and, you know, basically stuck it to him, uh, because he was trying to pay his, his people, uh, he didn't pay his taxes.
I mean, that, that part was on him, but he couldn't afford to pay his taxes and pay his people after that guy ripped him off. So he chose, well, I'm paying my men because they have families, you know, he was trying to do the right thing. Uh, but the IRS disagreed with what the right thing was. And, you know, it was hell to pay and it, he was already, his emotional cup was already overflowing.
Okay? So all that did was take him to a place of wrath, and he became so violent, uh, you, you could ask him a simple question and he would destroy the entire house. I watched him rip a recliner in half with his bare hands. Like, how, how do you do that? Right? You have to have a ton of rage within you, uh, to do that kind of stuff.
And I was a little boy, it scared Logan shit outta me, and right, he, he, he just, he just lost his way. He couldn't see past revenge and he wanted to find this man and kill him. And, and as a result of that, he then turned his, you know, murderous, uh, ambition, I guess you could say, toward his family. So we became the object of, of that.
And, you know, he'd fly off and he spit of rage and, you know, he had, uh. He had decided one evening that he was going to, uh, kill all of us and kill himself. And I was probably, I don't remember if I was eight yet or not. When I came home from a baseball game, seven or eight, I started sports and I was pretty young and I'd come up from baseball game.
He didn't show up to it. And as I'm walking up the driveway, I see something under his truck and it was like a shiny kind of object that was, I don't know, caught the light somehow. And so I, I bend down there and look under his truck and it's him and he is got a 44 to his head. He was practicing and I didn't know what to do, you know?
So I went inside and of course told my mom, and then he, you know, lost his shit again that evening. And I, I don't know why he didn't go through with what he had intended, but he ended up leaving the family, you know, he ended up packing his shit and left one day. He ended up getting help, which I, I was proud of him for doing.
And, you know, he, I guess he was able to kind of overcome that. But he, I, he just never was a dad to me. He, you know, he left a lot of scars on my heart that ended up being a baseline of PTSD in my life that I didn't even begin to know how to deal with Mr. Whiskey because I didn't know that what I was experiencing as a young boy, even going back as early as four years old, when he really started getting angry and, and stuff.
He, I just thought that was normal. You know? I thought that maybe every family lived this way and, and I thought, well, he loves me of course, 'cause I'm his son, he's my dad and I want him to love me, so therefore he has to. Right. And my mom and my mom was kind of, she was a gaslight, she was very much a, you know, she's pissed off at the world because of the hand that she got dealt.
Right with him and, and other stuff from her past, you know, so it was just this domino effect. And I, and I refer to it in my book, is that, you know, I thought that these were all my storms as I grew older and I look back on my childhood, but what it turns out, Mr. Whiskey, is that I was just getting rained on.
Okay. My was my dad's storm and I was just caught up in it. Yeah. And I didn't know how to deal with that stuff. I didn't know, uh, you know, my head from a hole in the earth as a little boy. Of course. And then as I grow up, I have all that, you know, in the background. Then I become a police officer. Now I have people walking up to me, you know, telling me, Hey, I hope you fucking die today.
And I'm like, nice to meet you too. Unfortunately, unfortunately, nowadays, support, you know? Yeah. Nowadays, it's, uh, the culture towards our, our men and women in blue and serving out there has changed drastically, and it's very unfortunate. Because down. Right. You know, they generalize as you know, all cops are, you know, they have all these sayings, but there's a lot of great men and women out there.
And now more than ever, it takes a lot to be a, a cop. I mean, there's a lot of people who dropped outta the service or don't wanna join up in law enforcement because of the new culture. Oh yeah. It's, it's, it's kind of crazy. So, I'll get to my point about getting the help, but I, I just wanna emphasize this one piece.
So while we're on that subject, I, I was smoking one day. I was out on a loading dock. I was in a suit, 'cause I'm a detective at that time, you know, and, uh, this lady, uh, uh, African American female walked up to me and she said, can I ask, can I ask you a question? And I said, sure. And, uh, she said, why are y'all all assholes?
I started laughing and I went, right, clearly I'm a cop. So, um. I said, well, I can't speak for all of us, but I'll tell you why I'm an asshole. I said, 'cause I've got two. I said, I got, I got two realities in this county. Every day I'm either gonna die a hero or I'm gonna go home a racist. That's all I got.
Right. And I'd never said that before Mr. Whiskey, but it was, it was revelatory to me. And it just kind of, it just that, that like set on me like a wet towel and, and I just thought, why do I do this? You know, like, God damn, no wonder I'm depressed every day. Yeah. But, but really it was a lot of the other underlying stuff.
So at the same time though, I'm having affairs. I'm, you know, I'm screwing everything that walks by me. I'm smoking, I'm drinking all the things we talked about because I hadn't dealt with the anatomy of the stronghold. And then I, I ended up in a men's group in a church. I didn't grow up in church, but I always knew God was there.
I. And had some crazy events that occurred that we can talk about if you want to miraculous things that changed me or began changing me. Then I finally went to, um, meet with my men's pastor and I just said, his name is Scott. And I said, Scott, you know, this is what I'm doing. And I was just, I finally opened the kimono, you know, and said, here, lemme show you all the shit that I'm up to.
And he said, Ricky, I can't help you. You need professional help. And man, it pissed me off, right? Oh, how dare you? You know, I'm vulnerable for the first time in my life and you're gonna tell me you, you don't want to help me. But it wasn't that he didn't want to help me. He was helping me by telling me I needed, I needed to go talk to somebody who could help me.
So I went to counseling. I ended up doing, uh, individual counseling. I ended up doing, um, an intensive outpatient program where I went. Three days a week for three hours and group therapy stuff. And, and the first counselor didn't recommend medicine. This thing immediately started making me take all these different medications and none of them were helping me.
Right. I mean, hell, I, I wasn't suicidal, but when I started taking those medicines, all I could think about was I just want off this damn marble. Like, I feel worse. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And I finally realized, y'all are not helping me. Right. You're, you're just taking my damn money and you're making me worse.
And then what I noticed is that everybody in this, this outpatient program that I was in, man, they had been in these programs for like 20 years, Mr. Whiskey. And I thought, yeah. Like, hell, if you fuckers think that I'm gonna do this, woe was me. Shit for their, no, I'm not. Like, I, I, I'm outta here. Peace out.
Right? Like I, there's gotta be a better way. And so I just, I went to God and I just said, okay. Um. There's gotta be something, I'm missing something here, you know? And I'd begin hearing from him, uh, in a way that I call it a second voice. It thoughts, I'm not thinking, and I don't hear him, you know, like, open the clouds up and go, Ricky, you know, none of that shit.
But I, but there's a voice that I hear that I, I now know is him. And he was leading me to some things. And, and, uh, you know, he ended up giving me four words, Mr. Whiskey, he gave me acceptance, identity, security, and purpose. Okay. And I didn't know what to do with them. And, you know, he ended up kind of revealing to me that, uh, well, he asked me a question one day.
He said, what does Revelation three 20 say? And I went, I don't have the first clue. So I grabbed my Bible. I look it up and it says, behold, I stand at the door and knock. Anyone who hears my voice and lets me in, I'll come into him and eat with him and he with me. And so as I kind of pondered on that verse, I went, okay, I kind of think I know what that means.
Like it's you. I've seen that picture before where Jesus is knocking on the door. There's no handle on it. He can't let himself in. You know, we gotta invite him into our life. Right? Right. And I think I know what that means. And he said, right. He said, but what have you done your whole life? Ricky? And I went, loaded question, God, I don't know what you're asking me.
And he said, well, you've gone around knocking on heart's doors seeking who would let you in and the moment they let you in, they let you down, didn't they? And I went, yeah, they did. And he said, and that caused you then to go to another heart's door, knock on that one and more. They let you in. They let you down.
He said, and so you have, you have thought that acceptance is for you to receive from others. He said, but the devil takes everything that I do, and he counterfeits it. He said, so you're living in a counterfeit world where you are seeking acceptance, and then that is eroding your identity, and then you're placing your identity in temporal things.
He said, for example, you thought your first name was detective for the better part of a decade until I took it away from you. He said, and your security was wrapped up in all of those temporal things as well, and you thought your purpose was just to be an investigator. He said, but when you get it right, you'll realize that acceptance isn't for you.
Acceptance is for me, meaning I've already accepted you. That's why I died on a cross. So I'm standing at your heart's door asking you, are you gonna offer me your acceptance? Because when you do, I'll lead you to your identity. I'll show you where your security is really at, and then you won't have to worry about the temporal things of this world.
Yes, they may impact you. Yes, you may have moments where you have doubt and fear and all that shit, but you'll find that your security is in me as your God and in the Word, and then I'll lead you to your many purposes. And he said, that's what I want you to go teach people. He said, I've allowed you to go through so much in your life so that you could be relatable so that whenever you go and talk to people who are never step foot in a church, 'cause they don't think they're welcome, chances are a preacher told 'em they're not welcome and you can go to them in this valley that they're in.
I. And say, Hey, I, I've, you know, been there, got that T-shirt, right? But lemme tell you about my God, who isn't about rules. He's about love and relationship. And let me show you what he's trying to do through your life. But you've gotta heal, you've gotta break this stronghold that has a hold of you so that you can get to a place of healing so that you can live from your true identity and you can go and fulfill all those purposes that I've created you for.
So that's what I spent five years working on and writing my book. Um, and that's the foundation of the book, and that's called Accepting Truth, finding Hope, and that's the foundation for my, my, uh, counseling alternative as I call it. Uh, that's under the same brand Accepting Truth, finding Hope, where I sit down with, with clients and, and I.
Kinda ask them, you know, what is it that's troubling you? You know, tell me about your childhood. Let me understand where you've been, how you're coping with life. And what I've found is that those four needs, the acceptance, the identity, the security, and the purpose. These are things that we all think we can meet in ourself, but yet they are only needs God can meet in us.
But we all try to be the God of our own life. That's why we try to meet them. And then what I do is try to help people understand, okay, this is how you're striving for the acceptance of others. This is how you are forming your own identity, right? This is how basically you've kicked God off as throne and you're trying to be God of your own life.
And how's that working out for you, right? But for me, it didn't work out worth the shit. Um, and so that's what I'm leading my clients to understand is that all of this stuff all comes back to those four needs. And when you can address them in the right way, you'll find healing. It's powerful. Um. But the mental health model is a 60-year-old model that went from depression and hopelessness as a soul level issue, Mr.
Whiskey to in 1962, they then switched the model, and ironically, that's the same year they kicked God outta schools in the Supreme Court that they then said, this is a, uh, mental health issue that is a chemical imbalance in the brain. They tried to link it to serotonin and there have been studies that have proven that is bullshit, but the pharmaceutical industry makes $170 billion a year, you know, forcing drugs down our gullet.
So the last thing that they're gonna try to tell us is, Hey, those drugs don't help you. They actually cause a chemical imbalance in the brain. Right? So, couple things, ladies and gentlemen, there is an episode, I haven't really watched a Joe Rogan Experience podcast too much. I've only seen. An episode in that clip, but the clip I saw was about someone talking about big pharma pharmaceutical companies and doctors, the way the money flows and with medications.
And, you know, Ricky, just tying that into what you said, and again, I'm gonna plug my episode, Marines and Sailors Five, because when I sat down with ra, we talked about PTSD and I said, look, I'm no doctor. I'm a, I'm a podcast creator and a, and a host of a podcast, you know, show that's comedy and education.
But I said, I am a man of God and I am a, an intellectual, and I can tell you this much, and you don't need to be a doctor to know this. The PTSD, we experience the violent, gruesome scenes, especially from war, especially these veterans and active duty members who were experienced manmade weapons. That's not natural that PTSD is completely unnatural.
There's no chemistry behind it, you know, just as you said, Ricky, I'm a strong believer of that. I said, this is all mental health. I said, this is all just the mind because the PTSD, I mean, yeah, it's a physical reaction, but Kinhin Raw talked with me on the episode, Marines and sailors five. He said that a, after he came back, you know, he was part of the artillery squad over in the Middle East there, you know, he was just at his home by himself, and a, a firework went off outside and he got geared up with weapons, locked down the whole house, and he waited for hours, you know, for, for someone to come and attack.
He thought he was back in war. You know, war has always existed, but it's a, it's a, you know, human made thing. Especially these, these weapons, these bombs, these explosive sounds. These certain triggers of PTSD are all unnatural, and I'm very anti-medicine. I think that God gave us the ability to create yes.
But I think that there's a lot that we have done wrong with it. I'm a big believer in, you know, our body naturally fights, illnesses, it naturally adapts to not get sick again. Stuff like that, you know, I think there's certain medications that are important, but I think most of them are kind of just for scrap.
And it's something that's personally affected me a lot. I've never been on medication and I'll never go on medication. I refuse. And in the military and in a civilian world, I have seen so many people that are on antidepressants and all this other medication not, and they're just diagnosing everyone for A-D-H-D-I swear every person I meet says they have a DHD, and I'm not knocking it.
I understand it's a real condition. It's such a BS excuse and I'm gonna, I'm gonna attack my generation here. I'm in my twenties and I am sick of my generation and the generations below me are even worse. I don't even wanna talk about them, but they're all claiming depression, anxiety, A DHD, they all have this medication and especially affected me, the relationship I was in about three, four years ago, and I thought they were the one, you know, they were like my first true love out of all the relationships I had been in.
They, that person, that individual was on medication, all these multiple different types of antidepressants and medications, and they got addicted to it. My partner got addicted to that medication and when the doctor swapped the medication, they had these awful withdrawals, went insane. It destroyed a relationship and even.
Even again, people getting addicted to painkillers and, and stuff like that. And you know, Shinra talked about, the VA used to be you could just walk in and tell them you were a veteran from overseas, you had PTSD and you could get whatever you want. You could get as much medication where whatever you want.
Like I said, that episode really goes into it, but it's, it's all economical. It's all about money, you know, because you get people to believe that they need this substance, well then you're gonna keep buying it. But, but what's free is God. God is free, you know, and, and, and religion is free and, and so they don't want you to have that medication.
And it is, I'm glad you pointed out that, um, God was removed from, from schooling and education that same year. I don't think it is a coincidence. Now we can go into the conversation about anti-medicine, but I. One thing I wanted to address, you were talking about identity and purpose and security. One thing Big Red said, uh, he's my former roommate.
He's been on a podcast before and he is gonna be on in some future episodes. We were talking one day because his chain of command and previous chains of command have no gaslighted him a bit or really gotten him worked up. And he's had a lot of issue with, with other shipmates socially. And, you know, he also has childhood trauma and stuff.
But he said one day as he grows his relationship with God, he said, you know, why would I need acceptance from anyone else when it says that I'm a beloved child of God? If the most high God says I'm his beloved child, that he created me for a reason and that had this great purpose. And you know, that's the greatest acceptance there is.
And Ricky, you wanna say something on that? Oh man, that's, that is so true. That is so very true. That's, that's what. You wanna know the Bible in a nutshell, man, it's that we go all the way back to the garden. We rejected God. We bought the lie. You know what the what? The whole tree thing is in the garden, right?
The tree of the knowledge of good and evil. It wasn't fruit that they ate. They ate the lie. When Satan asked Eve, did God really say this right? He challenged her. She gave him what she knew to be true. And then his rebuttal was, yeah, but he knows that you're just like him. And when the Bible says that something is like God, it means they're equal to God.
And so they bought the lie that they are equal to God. They can be the God. They don't need to worship a God. They don't need to serve a God. They are God. And people still believe that. And man, we still believe that shit, right? We still think that we can run our life, we can make all the choices. We know what's best for us.
And that's why I begged that question earlier in my long statement of, of how I came to finding, you know, my way. And that was, how's it working for you, being the God of your own life? I kicked God off his throne. Sometimes I still do, and I have to remind myself I'm really bad at doing his job. So I'm better off, you know, seeking his help in my life instead of just saying, I got this shit figured out.
'cause I don't, you know? And if you think you can do God's job, go read a book of job and he, and he'll ask you really? And, and you know, every cycle of the moon and the, and the sun, you know how many, you know, the drop links of a mountain go or the great beast of the sea, deep down there's creatures down in ocean we don't even know about.
And, and you're gonna tell me, you could, you could control all of this every day, 24 7. Think about just how complicated your life is, let alone, you know, billions of people. So if that's a great question posed by God to job in, in that book. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that was left there for us for that very reason, you know, to, for us to beg that same question because whether we, whether we know it or not, you know, job job was in a social experiment, right?
With with between a bet. It was really a bet. Yeah. Between Ida and the devil. Yeah. And, and it's a fascinating read. Um, so I have posited in my mind, you know, is that what this is for all of us. Is God just setting this up to say, you know what, Mr. Whiskey, I love you so much and I know that you're going to, I know you're gonna choose me, so I'll let the devil toy with you because I know I, I trust that you're going to pick me in the end.
And that's what he told, that's what he told the devil about job. And you know, maybe that's why we go through some of the shit that we go through in this life. I, I can't say the real reason why I do know this. He allows it for us to be shaped. His hope is that we're gonna choose better, not bitter. So if you out there are arms crossed saying Fuck God, because all he's done is mess up my life.
No he hadn't. You just don't see that what he's done. You see it as what he's done to you. You need to see it as what he's doing for you. It's a matter of perspective. And once you can change your perspective, you can start to actually find your way out of some of that darkness and toward healing. But as long as you think you're the shit, you got it figured out, this will be a long ass road.
Right. And you know what? It's very unfortunate. I, you said something Ricky, that I think is one of the best quotes I've ever heard. You said our image of God, we kind of take our parents and, and how they treat us and how they raise us because God is ultimately a parent, you know, to all of us. And we reflect that onto him.
And that's something so important because I know so many people whose parents had weaponized religion, had twisted religion to their own view and, and they projected it onto that even, you know, like I said, my father, we've mentioned him briefly on the podcast, he is ended up being a very heinous evil man.
And I've had a lot of biblical battles with him. Because he kind of has turned, he has twisted the Bible around and on on in some ways it almost seems like he's a satanist, but you know that aside, because of that, my mom and sisters got pushed away from religion. Now, from my story, real quick, just to go over a short summary of, of my discovery of God, and you know, I was raised Catholic.
I went to a private school. I hated it. It was an awful, awful place. Unfortunately not because of God, but because of the community. The people that were put in charge and you know, their goals. And we had a very good priest and he got taken away from us. And when he left, you know, that kind of let the devil creep in and, you know, be between the, the, the childhood trauma I had with my family and with the schooling systems that I, I went through, you know, around freshman year of high school, I had rejected God.
I said, God. So done with this, you know, I'm gonna write my own book of philosophy, make my own religion, you know, that that's what I was gonna do as a freshman. I was gonna create my own religion. It was gonna be a book of philosophy and, and it was gonna be based heavily off the founding Fathers of America.
And, you know, obviously that was thrown away because I said, God, you have one more chance to, I'll give you a chance to prove you're real. And this uncanny freak, you know, I guess you could call it a miraculous incident happened and my right forearm got split open through unconventional means. And now I had this giant scar on my arm, you know, so that was the first turning point.
That was a doubting Thomas, uh, only instead of Jesus's wounds, I felt my own wounds. And then from there, there were certain things that I looked back on. And one of the biggest things that has helped my faith, so ladies and gentlemen, I encourage you to pay attention to this is. The more time that passes on.
And like I said, I'm a young man and the more I can look back on things, the more connections I see. You know, a great quote I saw was, God knows the whole book, but you live it page by page, you know, chapter by chapter. So until you get, you know, further into the book, you can't look back at other chapters and connect them.
You can't connect certain, you know, elements of the story, but God knows the whole story. And that's why it's very hard for us to believe God because we can't see the way he does. And as time has moved on, I've made a lot of connections in my life that I couldn't make. And Ricky, you agree with that? Oh, a hundred percent.
Man. You're, I'm, I have my, I put my choir robe on because, uh. You're, you're preaching to me, man. I, and everything you said is absolutely true. I hate weaponized religion, number one. I don't people, many people, people who know me or have heard me on, you know, different things that I've done, you know, they'll say, right, you know, you're, you're a very religious man.
And I'll say, no, I'm not. And they'll say, what? You talk about God more than you talk about anything else. And I'll say, you're right, I do. But it's not religion. Religion is rules, right? I'm about relationship. Jesus is about relationship. You know, when he came by the way, for those who don't know, Jesus is in the Old Testament.
And if that's blowing your mind, but you need somebody to help you to understand some of those stories in the Bible. But he is like Isaiah. He is God in the flesh and he came here to die for you. You know, because he knew you couldn't fix your own shit. So that's why he did what he did. And, and all those religious people were the ones who put 'em on a cross, right.
His whole thing was, it ain't about your damn rules, it's about love, it's about relationship. It's about just recognizing that you can't do a damn thing. And so you brought up, you know, kind of grown up in the Catholic church, I'm sure, or in, you know, in a Catholic, private, private school. And I'm sure you had some interesting indoctrination.
I know all of us have different indoctrination, uh, from the different, um. Uh, you know, whether you're Baptist or whether you're a Pentecostal, right? Whatever those denominations are, everybody kind of has their, what their rules. Can't, can't dance, can't drink, can't smoke, right? Well, that shit ain't gonna keep you outta heaven.
So it's, it's a matter of, of figuring out what's, what you should pursue as opposed to what you shouldn't pursue. And those who just, you know, preach the rules all the time are missing the boat. And that is not what, that's not what the Bible talks about. I know people are going, oh my God, he is an idiot.
No, it really, I, I'm right about this one. It it's not about the rules. It's about a loving father who's just trying to keep his kids from running into traffic and getting their ass ran over. That's really what it comes down to, right? And by no means, ladies and gentlemen, 'cause I know there's people out there who are gonna listen to this and say, alright, Ricky just gave us permission to do whatever you want.
It doesn't matter. That's not what we're saying. And if you need help. Understanding the, the grace of Jesus Christ, the Old Testament versus the New Testament. I highly recommend you check out Joseph Prince. He's a preacher in, I believe Singapore. I love listening to him. I mean, he really helps you understand, you know, grace versus law and is is very important that you understand that.
And yeah, like you said, Ricky, there's a lot of traditions. So I identify as Catholic and I go to, you know, Catholic mass and all that. But at the end of the day, you know, there's a lot of traditions that I kind of don't follow necessarily or believe in because I believe in the Bible, you know what it says.
And at the end of the day, I believe in having a relationship with God more than anything. You know, church is very traditional. At the end of the day, I go to church, right? 'cause it's good. You know, someone said it's like water. Water is available everywhere, but it's most abundant at the fountain, right?
And church is a fountain because you have a whole community of religious people. But at the end of the day. I pray every day. I, I read my Bible and I, you know, God is always with us right here. Jesus Christ is always with us. He said, I, you know, I am in you and you are in me. So just to address that, and like we said, weaponizing religion and how our parents affect us.
So I highly encourage you, ladies and gentlemen, that if, whether it was a, you know, a bad priest or an influencer you saw online, or your parents or people in your life who have given you this negative view of religion, you know, religion is very personal, you know, and by religion, I mean a relationship with God is very personal.
It's gonna be different for all of us, and you need to understand that. So whatever you've seen out there in the world, that's not who you are or what your relationship with God is gonna be. Yeah, that's, that's, that's a good, that's a very good takeaway. I hope that, I hope that, I don't know, I feel led to say this.
I think somebody listening is thinking right now. I I'm not going to church 'cause they're all a bunch of damn hypocrites. And you're right, we are all a bunch of damn hypocrites. The the church is not for, it's a place for sinners. It's not for those who are saved. It's for sinner. Yeah. Jesus said You don't go to the, you don't go to a hospital when you're well.
Right, right. You, you go to a hospital when you're sick. So if you're screwed up, if you're a hypocrite, I encourage you find a good, find a good congregation to go be a part of. You're not gonna make it any worse. Okay? Uh, by showing up, everybody there is a jacked up mess. They're just, they just have grace.
That's really the only damn difference between a saved person and a person who doesn't yet know you know Christ as their savior. So don't get caught up in the, in the air quote hypocrites. You know, you, you go there for fellowship. It's so that you can understand that you're not alone. But if you stay isolated.
Guess what? You're not gonna get the help that you need. That all ties back to that whole mental health conversation that we had. We tend to think that if I just keep it all to myself, I can take these things to my grave somehow. I'll be better off. No, that's how the enemy knows. I got you right where I want you because you're never gonna open up, so you're never gonna be able to fulfill the things that God has for you because you're unwilling to take that step to do so.
You know, so it's, it's, uh, it's kind of a catch 22. We, we, we tend to think that especially if you didn't grow up in the church, or especially if you did grow up in the church, you know, you may have some, some real, uh, biases because you've been treated a certain way. Right. You know, I didn't per se grow up in the church.
I had an uncle who was a Baptist preacher, and I think by age of four, having attended a couple of his services, I knew more about the rapture and I was scared shitless. Right. And, and like you said earlier, something that I had kind of mentioned about projecting, you know, onto God, I, I thought he was so angry at me, Mr.
Whiskey. I thought, you know, any moment he's just gonna thump me and, you know, put me in hell right where I belong because my theology was absolute total shit. I, I didn't know him from a hole in the earth. I had this, this horrible idea about who he was. And you can I tell you the story about what changed that for me?
Yeah, yeah. I'd love for you to go into that. So I'm rocking along, I'm at the, you know, kind of the top of my game playing detective and, uh, in a marriage where, uh, was miserable. Um, and I won't tell her part of the story 'cause it's not my story to tell. So I'll just tell mine. And, you know, I was acting out, um, to try to, you know, those soothing SAVs and for me that was sex.
And so I was caught up in, uh, I quit counting at 18 affairs, which I'm not proud of, but I'm just honest about, right? And so I was not living a godly life. Okay. Um, and she and I finally decided to get divorced. We both agreed that, you know, we were just kinda living a lie and that we needed to just go our separate ways.
Well, we weren't having sex with each other except there was this, you know, one time I guess. And at one time she conceived and she called me one day on my, on my way home from work, and she said, Hey, Ricky, I went to the doctor and they told me I had a sinus infection and I have this, I have that and I'm pregnant and I'm something else.
And I went, uh, what the fuck did you say? You're what? And she was like, yeah, I'm pregnant. And I was like, the doctors told us, Mr. Whiskey, that she and I could not conceive together. I was so stressed out and smoking so much. And she had right, the female related issues. I think I had NASCAR sperm, you know, they were, they were just running a hundred miles an hour on a circle.
And so they were like, yo, you two can't conceive if you wanted to. And so I was like, hell yeah. Right. So anyway, she ends up pregnant and I, and I got so angry. I hung up the phone and it was about the summer, it was July of 2007. So I had a pretty shitty cell phone back then. But I hung up the phone as I was driving and I just started railing on God.
And I was like, no, no, no, no. Like, why are you doing this now? Like, why are you giving me a child when we just agreed to get divorced? Like, fuck, come on. Like, I do not want this kid to live my life. This is not fair. I'm so mad at you right now. Like, why would you do this? And as I just railed on him, I finally came to a place where I said, you know what?
I, I'm sorry I, I shouldn't talk to you this way. Uh, as I didn't have a relationship with him at that point. Really. And I just said, but damn it, I'm mad and I don't understand. And I said, but I, I do know this. I, I know that you created this life, not me. And so if you created this life, then all I know to do is to give this child back to you to say, you do with this child whatever you want.
Okay. And I'll get over myself eventually, but I'm still mad at you PS Right. Still pissed off. Okay. And so I just kind of, kind of left it there. And then we went in, uh, in a week 17 to find out the gender. Um, you know, nothing had changed in our relationship, by the way. And so we go in for the sonogram, they do the sonogram, and the lady's just stone cold, won't smile, won't look at me.
And I'm, I think I'm funny. So I'm, I'm doing everything I can to make this woman smirk, smile, something. She won't do it. And finally she just looks up and says, the head arms and legs are not growing properly. There are two heart defects by the way. You're having a girl. Uh, we can't serve you here at this particular, uh, provider.
So I'll send him the doctor, and though he'll give you a recommendation to a specialist. And she got up and walked out of the room that cold, and I literally just sat down, thank God there was a chair underneath me. Um, because those words were so powerful. And I, yet, I didn't understand a damn one of them.
Not at the heart level, but I just thought, right. Oh. My God. Like, you gotta be fucking kidding me right now. And so we rock along for the next, uh, well by the way, we, we go to see the specialist, uh, we were almost at week 20, which that's the cutoff for abortion or, or was at that time. And they said, you have a week to give us your decision.
And I was like, what are you talking about? And they said, we need to know whether or not you're going to choose abortion because your child is not going to be viable. And I was like, what do you, what are you talking about? They were like, your child is, there's a lot of bad stuff here. Like, you, your, your kid's not gonna be able to survive on their own, so mm-hmm.
Should consider abortion and Mr. Whiskey. What I didn't tell you was that when I was 22 years old, so I'm 32 at this point. Okay. At 22, I. Um, God had started downloading poetry into me. Okay. And I wrote a poem called, called Dear Mom, and it's in my book and, uh, it's probably the best thing I've ever written, ever.
And it's about abortion. And long story short, when I went home that day, I just sat in my office and my, uh, then wife went out on the patio of our house and we were just, you know, trying to absorb all this information, you know, and for whatever reason, I pulled that poem up on my computer and I read it, and I realized that God had given, he went ahead of me.
He gave me that poem 10 years before I needed it. And I realized that I could not possibly choose abortion, that I had to choose life for my daughter, even though I didn't know what that meant. And so we made the decision to keep our baby. So we go through the process. We went every week and saw this specialist and I watched where blood flowed.
There was no heart wall between her atria, the top two chambers of the heart. And there was no heart wall between her ventricles. I don't mean a small little hole, I mean no septum at all. Wow. She basically had a two chamber heart. Oh wow. And the doctor, the specialist at about 37 weeks says, Hey, I think I figured this out.
There's a rare form of dwarfism called Ellis v CRL syndrome. Okay. And I think that's what your, your child has. I think that's why the head circumference isn't what it's supposed to be. That's why the limb length isn't what it's supposed to be because she's a little person and she has, and it always presents with one or both of these heart defects, but it's extremely rare, like, you know, 400 cases in the world.
Rare. Right. And I was like, oh, okay. I don't know what that means, but, okay. And so, um. Uh, we end up, you know, going in for a cesarean at 30, 38 weeks. And once my daughter was born, they rush her off the nicu. Uh, neither one of us got to hold her. Uh, my, my wife at the time had had a, uh, like I said, cesarean, but she had had a lot of other surgeries before, so it was like very invasive, like it, it was hard for her.
So they admitted her, uh, to another wing of the hospital. And I go to the NICU to go see my, my child and I'm looking at her through this incubator thing and this cardiologist walks up to me and neonatal cardiologist walks up to me and says, Hey, are you, you know her father? I said, yes. And he said, um, she doesn't have two heart defects.
And he paused. And I'm like, okay, that's good. And he goes, she has four. And I went, oh my God. Like, who lets you talk to people? Like, the fuck is wrong with me? Right. That's, that's awful. It really was. And, and he goes, and I said, well, okay, what I know of two of them, so what are the other two? And he said, well, she has a mitral valve perforation.
He said, your mitral valve is supposed to do this like open closed thing. He said, and hers is kinda like a Mercedes symbol. It's got this extra slit in it and it's causing blood to backflow. Uh oh man. And he said, and then she has this membrane that's partially occluding the pulmonary vein. And I said, okay, uh, what does all that mean?
And he goes, oh, well she'll go into congestive heart failure at three weeks old and she will die. And I went again, who the fuck lets you talk to people Like, right. That's so a lot time unpack. My God. Yeah. I was like, I, uh, I was like, you can't do like a, like a heart transplant. He said, you think you can get a heart in three weeks again, dude, uh, I, I'm a dad.
Like, what the fuck? And. He said, we can't do anything to help her. So you got any time between now and three weeks, but she's gonna die. And I went, well, that's the best fucking news I've gotten all day. What the hell? So I had to go to where my wife was at and break the news to her, Hey, you know our daughter that you didn't even get to hold after you gave birth to her.
Well, you may never, because this is the news I just got. Right. And Mr. Whiskey, I didn't know what to do with that information. And I had, I had left outta the NICU and my family had actually come to the birth, uh, which was a minor miracle. It was, it was a show of obligation in my opinion. Right. And so I went out there, I told 'em what I had just been told, and, and Amber's family was there too.
I told them, and I went to Amber's room and told her, we cried. As you might imagine. I came back Right. And my family was gone. Right. And I just said. That's what I said. I just sat there in the empty seats that they had previously occupied, and I just said to myself, well, I guess I'll fucking do this by myself too.
And I thought the hell's my life, you know? And I had not figured out any of the things that I've already shared with y'all, right? So I just went back in the NICU and I just spent every moment I could with my daughter and about 1:00 AM I realized fuck my dogs. I haven't let my dogs out. So I rush home and let my dogs out and I, I lit a cigarette on my back patio and while my dogs are running around the backyard doing their thing, I just looked up to heaven.
And I just put my arms together in that King's ex style and I just said, King's ex Lord, you, you, you got me. Um, I've been trying to figure out all day how I'm gonna control my way out of this one. And I can't, like, right. It's not a damn thing I can do. This was my exact prayer. I said, Lord, if you give me this child for a day, a week or a year, I will praise you still because I don't know what else to do.
So for the first time in my life, I mean it, your will be done. And I felt like 10 million blocks fell off my shoulders, you know? Uh, but nothing radical change. I just felt a relief. A, a small, you know, a bit of a relief, right? So I went back to the hospital. I watched again as blood flowed. Uh, I watched every echo.
There were no heart walls. That was, uh, Monday, uh, March 17th, 2008 was when she was born on the 18th. I watched him do the test on the 19th. I watched him do the test. Nothing was different, but here was the difference, okay? Is that I left at around four something to go let my dogs out. This time on that Wednesday, and when I came back, my daughter was gone.
There were no edifices whatsoever that she was even in the nicu. And I'm freaking the fuck out thinking that, right? My child died when I let my dog go take a shit. Like I'm gonna be madder than hell if that's what happened, right? And so I'm frantic looking at every incubator trying to find my kid, and a nurse finally intercepts me and she's like, you okay?
And I was like, no, I'm really not. Where's my kid? And she's like, oh, we had to move her. And I'm thinking, oh, of course you did, because she's dying, right? So what kind of fucking ward are we in now? And so she sends me through this door and I go through the door and there are rocking chairs and bassinets, and a nurse is holding my daughter.
And she says, Hey dad, do you wanna feed her? And I went, oh my God. Yes. Like, and I was like, why are you in here and out of that thing? And she was like, oh, the doctor hasn't talked to you? And I went, no. She said, well, I can't tell you. He'll have to tell you. Right. Hand me my kid, you know? So I got to feed her, uh, I was rocking with her and fed her a bottle.
And then finally the doctor comes in there, and if you've ever seen a line at the zoo who's just pacing back and forth, uh, that's how this guy was. But he was frantic, like running his fingers through his hair, like Kramer, you know, on Seinfeld. Like he was just, he was a mess. And he is like, I need to talk to you.
And I went, okay. So I hand my daughter off, we go in this room, and he was like, he's like, and he is pacing. He's like, remember you saw the echo, right? And I was like, dude, I've been watching that same echo since, you know, like 19 weeks in utero. Yeah. What are, what are you getting at? And he said, well, I reran it today at about 5:00 PM He said, you had left.
He said, I reran it. And he said there was a perfect septum between her ventricles and the membrane that was previously including her pulmonary vein. There's no evidence that it was ever even there. Wow. I just, I, I was speechless. And he goes, that is physiologically impossible. He's like, I don't understand what just happened.
And I was like, it's a miracle. And he looks at me and he goes, I don't believe in this. And I went, well then you fucking explain it to me because what? Right, right, right. And he goes, I don't know, maybe my machine was glitching. And I went, your machine was glitching and the previous doctor's machine was glitching for 19 straight weeks.
Really? Right. Come on. And I was like, okay, regardless, we, we can disagree. We can agree to disagree. I said, but so what does this mean? Right, Mr. Give it to me straight. And um, he was like, oh, you'll take her home on Friday? And I went, are you fucking kidding me? He was like, no, I'm not kidding you. You'll take her home on Friday, Mr.
Whiskey. Do you wanna know what Good Friday was? I mean, you wanna know what Friday was? I just fucked up my own punchline. It was good Friday. Friday. It was good Friday. It was good Friday of that year. And I was just mesmerized by this fact. And I thought, why would you heal my child, Lord? Like I surrendered to you granted for the first time in my life on that Monday, and you heal my daughter on Wednesday, the third day, oh wow.
There's something to this and I don't really understand it yet, but you're fucking real. Like, and you still do miracles. Like, holy shit, that whole Bible thing isn't just a bunch of fairytales, you know, that's, that's real shit. And so, uh, to make a long story short, uh, four years old, she had to have open heart surgery and she had to have, uh, her mitral valve fixed because it was leaking really, really bad and they were gonna have to replace it.
And the way the doctor explained it was that if you have valve replacement, then you get basically two valves in a lifetime, and they'll usually last about 10 years per valve. And the mortality rate after that is through the roof. So you usually expire, you know, as a result of those surgeries. And so he told me, he is like, do the math, you know, he said, I gotta save this valve because she's four.
So otherwise she's got about a 24 year lifespan ahead. Right? And I thought, that's bad math. So yeah, you fix that valve. And so while he was in there, uh, fixing the valve, he also created a septum, uh, out of the pericardial tissue that he had shaved off. And he created a wall between her atria so that she would have a functioning four chamber heart and did a masterful job of it.
Uh, she came outta surgery very well, and when they were moving her from ICU, uh, to the cardiac rehab floor, they had to pull out all her tubes. Well, they had to put in a pacer wire. Um, not because she has a pacer. A heart, you know, pacemaker. But because they had to, they just put it in there for precautionary reasons.
Right? Well it has little fish design and when they pulled it out, it grabbed a hold of the heart wall and tore it. There's no way, there's no way to know that except right. Crazy dad over here as a controlling, you know, type a detective. I had my whip out pad in my pocket all the time and every time they'd come to a lab I was like, Hey, can you bring me those values once you get 'em back?
Like, I wanna know the hemoglobin. I was a paramedic before I was a cop and so I was like, I wanna know the, the hemoglobin, the hematocrit, I wanna know all that stuff. And so I'm watching the values trend up the way they're supposed to. Um, and then we moved to the cardiac floor and I kind of, I wasn't, I was still keeping up with them, but I wasn't paying as much attention.
'cause I'm thinking she's good, you know? Right. Then she started getting this a thousand yard stare, Mr. Whiskey, and she wouldn't respond to me right away. And I was like, something is not right. So I went back to my whip out pad and I'm like reading through all the values and I realized that she was at a seven for her hemoglobin.
And for those of you who don't know, if your hemoglobin gets to seven, then you're at blood transfusion level because you're losing red blood cells. Okay? If it drops below six, then you're at organ failure and you're, oh wow, gonna die. Like, you know, there's no, there's no good prognosis for that. So I went to the charge nurse and I said, Hey, this is what I'm documenting and seeing.
Are you seeing the same thing from the official records? And she looked at it and she was like, oh my God, you're right. And I went, well there's only one real good reason why you lose red blood cells 'cause you're bleeding. So can we scan her? They do. They find out that, yeah, her pericardial sac had filled up to about 88%.
She would not have woken up the next day. So they pulled all the blood off. Um, they couldn't reintroduce a drug called Heparin, which is a, a blood thinner, uh, because the heart had to heal. Well, they had introduced heparin because she had had surgery and they were trying not to form clots, right? For the obvious reasons.
But they couldn't because they needed the heart wall to stop bleeding. So they send her home on December 23rd, I got to spend Christmas with my little girl, uh, which was beautiful. And she's running around acting like a normal self. So I'm thinking, all right, we're, we're out of the woods. Well, December 30th, when she woke up, she was moving around, acting like a normal 4-year-old.
But when I would speak to her, she wouldn't speak back. She would just shake her head no at me. And I thought, are you just being an obstinate 4-year-old right now? Like, what, what do you doing right, Kylie? I don't understand, you know, help, you know, talk to daddy. You know what, what's going on? And she would just shake her head at me and she'd keep doing her thing.
Well. We ended up going into my master bathroom and I went into my closet and she stayed in the bathroom proper. And all of a sudden I hear the handheld mirror hit the floor and break. And man, it was like a light bulb went off in my brain. And so I ran to her and picked her up. I sat her on the couch. I took her milk cup and I said, Kylie, take a drink.
And when she did all the milk, just ran out of her mouth and down her face. And I thought, fuck, she's having a stroke. Right? And I threw her in the truck. I knew that if I called an ambulance, it would take them half an hour to get there. I could drive 110 and be at the hospital before they could be at my house.
So that's what I did, right? Um, used all my pursuit driving skills to get there, right? And, and roll into the er, tell 'em what's going on. They get her back. CT scan neurologist meets with me and he says, Ricky, not one stroke. She had five strokes. Five and five. And I can't imagine hearing that. I, I didn't even know what to do with that information.
I mean, honestly I was just like, well, fuck, of course you had five 'cause it's my kid, you know? Right. Uh, that kind of victim mentality that I was caught up in. And, um, I was like, okay, well what, what's the damage? You know? And he said, well, he was showing me on, on the brain scan and he said, we see right here as near the ear.
And he said, this silver dollar size area, it's white. I said, yeah, it's necrotic. And he goes, okay, you understand tissue? I said, I do. And he goes, well then that's dead. And the speech center is right in the middle of it. And he said, I don't see how those neural pathways will ever form again given the, you know, the, the, the tissue right now.
He said, and this is gonna get worse. It's not gonna get better. And I was like, essentially saying, your daughter would never be able to speak. Yep. And he said that next, he goes, I don't think she's ever gonna speak again. Um. He said, and, and if you look at where the other, you know, clots hit, he said she already has full right side paralysis and facial drooping and all that.
And he said, um, which is what she had by the time I got to the er. And, uh, she didn't have that before and he said, I don't think this is gonna recover. He said, the damage that's being done is gonna be progressive and we're gonna see more necrotic tissue in the brain. So I think what you see right now is what you get and it's only gonna get worse.
And I went, well, that's fucking great. So thought, geez, Louis, man, like, can I get a fucking break in this life? Answer was no, but it wasn't a break I needed, despite what I thought. And so I'm sitting there again in ICU watching my child be miserable and it was about 1:00 AM again, and I just looked up to heaven, Mr.
Whiskey, and I said, I kind of chuckled. And I said, I said, A day, a week or a year, didn't I? I was a fucking idiot. So you gave me four years, so I really can't bitch, right? Because you gave me four x on what I asked for. So, but Lord, uh, what I've learned in these last four years and having really tried to understand you since that first miracle was that you also tell me to tell you the desires of my heart.
And so here I go. I want my daughter back and I want her back better than she was before. That's what I want. Now, you may not want that for me, and I'm asking you again, let your will be done, not mine. But that's the desire of my heart. So we're clear and nothing radical changed. Um, she sat there, her little hand was crippled, you know, from the stroke, and she couldn't move her arm or legs or really anything.
She was just sitting there drooling on herself, you know, and, uh. That was day one, day two, day three, third day, again, can't make this shit up. Um, all of a sudden her pupil goes from dilated to constricted. Her face lifts up from the facial drooping and she lifts her arm up. Her hand opens and she grabs something off her tray in front of her pencil style with her, you know, uh, pointer finger in her thumb.
And I damn near shit myself because I went, oh my God, that's finding gross motor skills. Like you got all of them back at one time. Like, I just watched your face lift. Like, holy shit. Um, what just happened? And so, being the idiot that I am, Mr. Whiskey, I picked her up out of her bed and I set her on the floor.
Now what, what I should have done was probably lower the bed down and see if she could hold herself up, but I wanted to see if she could set up on her own right. And I just, you know, instinctually picked her up and set her on the floor and she just sat there perfectly and I grabbed a piece of paper and some scissors that we had in the room.
Um, and I, I told Kylie, I said, Kylie, cut daddy out a heart outta this paper. And she grabbed it and she cut out a perfect heart. And as she was doing it, the neurologist walked by and I was like, Dr. Acosta, check this shit out. And he was like, and he just kinda shrugged her shoulders and he was like, remember me telling you I don't, I'm not in charge of these things.
And I went, yes, I do, sir. Yes I do. And then Mr. Whiskey, three months later, Kylie had the expressive language ability of a 7-year-old at four with major brain damage. Wow. Um, the strokes had also destroyed her vision. Um, and about a year later, she ended up recovering full sight at 2020 with all of the damage that was there was completely gone.
Three miraculous healings on one child. And I was never able to be the same. I can't imagine every one of them, every one of them made me realize, no, God is real. God is present. Now you may be asking yourself, why the fuck isn't God healing me? Well, I, I don't know. Maybe it's not your time yet. Or maybe that's not his will.
But I do know this. He's still on the throne. He's still making some kick ass decisions. He's still in charge of your life and whether you're healed or not healed, he has a purpose for you. This side of heaven and all. You have to be willing to do, hear the knock and open the door, and things will radically change in your life, regardless of healing or no healing.
And that's what I needed to really come to understand. 'cause the Bible's clear. Jesus said it himself. People don't come to faith because they see a healing. And I didn't either. I saw it happen, but I still had doubt. I had to seek him to understand him. I still don't know why he chose my daughter, but damn it, I'm grateful I ain't arguing with the results.
Right. She's an honor student today. She wants to be a nurse, uh, when she gets outta high school and the damn thing wrong with her four foot four and look out, boy, she'll, she'll she'll mail you over. Right. But, but it was that event that made me sit back and go, holy shit, you're real. Like there's no mistaking this, there's no other explanation for what just occurred.
One time you could write it off as a, maybe they got some stuff wrong three times. Come on. Right, right. No good explanation for that. So that's what made me really, uh, take stock of everything. And I told him, you know, I will tell everybody I. What you did for me and what you did for my daughter. And that was kind of the beginning for me of realizing that God had called me to minister and to heal, uh, I needed to heal my, you know, I, I had to come to a place of healing first, but then I would go on to help other people heal.
And I, that's how I'm here today. That's how I transformed, uh, from an absolute train wreck of a person who was broken and in need of God to being a person who walks with God every day, still broken, but that's how his light gets to shine through me. So it's okay to be broken. It's okay to be messed up.
Just let him shine through you. That that was the, that's the biggest lesson that I had to learn, Mr. Whiskey. That's awesome. I'm, I'm glad to hear it. And so from there, how did your journey unfold to what it is now with this, you know, this big website you've been on news platforms and everything, so.
Obviously it's God's grace in his hand. But what happened with all that? Did you start making social media content or just, you know, peer to peer preaching until you worked your way up to making your own website? I think I'm crazy, but, but honestly, after all that stuff happened, I just kept doing the same thing, expecting a different result.
You know, the definition of insanity according to Alcoholics Anonymous. And he woke me up on an airplane, uh, in 2013 and he told me, he said, Ricky, you're gonna, everything that was will have nothing to do with that, which is to come. And I went, what? I don't even know what that means. Right. Well, what are you saying?
He said everything that was will have nothing to do with that, which is to come. And I said, Lord, you can repeat yourself. I don't understand it any better. Yeah. He said, you know, everything about my life. Up to that point, Mr. Whiskey was around law enforcement. I was a subject matter expert in fraud. I was traveling the world, you know, helping governments to identify different fraud patterns and stuff, building analytic solutions, and really had kind of a kick ass gig.
And, um, he just said, all that's gonna come to an end. And he was telling me, I'm calling you into ministry, but not necessarily the way you think it looks. You know, he said, you're gonna write books, you're gonna write movies, you're gonna act, you're gonna teach, you're gonna preach. And I thought I was nuts.
Um, I thought, why, why would I have these thoughts? Why would that come into my mind? And pure as shit, man. Uh, he, he unfolded the events in such a way that, as I kind of previously mentioned, he introduced me to those four words. And then I started studying the bible. Those words began jumping off the page, and I realized.
That I wasn't crazy. I realized that he really was telling me this, and I'll tell you how the acceptance, identity, security, and purpose that he told me about is not only in the Bible in terms of, uh, you can see it, uh, you know, if you read it a certain way, but it's there in the tangible. Here's what's so crazy, is that Jesus lived those four words out while he was on Earth.
And when I saw it, I, I literally fell out of my chair onto my knees and I cried like a little school girl, and I said, God, this is bigger than me. And lemme tell you where it's at. For those of you who are saying, I ain't seen that shit in the Bible, well, it's in Luke four. If you go to Luke four, you'll find the temptation of Christ.
And most of us have heard that story, but for those of you who haven't, it goes like this. Jesus had been on a fast for 40 days and he went out into the wilderness. And in the wilderness, the devil came to him to tempt him. And the first thing he said, Mr. Whiskey, was, if you are the son of God, turn that rock into bread.
Now, what's interesting about that is that that's an attack on his identity, right? The next thing he did was he took him up to a mountain and he said, I'm gonna show you all the kingdoms of the world at one time, and then if you just bow down and worship me, I will give you them because the authority for them has been given to me.
Now, I was confused about that last part, and if you want me to, I can break that down in a, in a another segment here, but I'll stay on point. That was him saying, offer me your acceptance as God, then, right? The next thing he did. Was he challenged him. He quoted scripture to him and he said, if you jump off this cliff right, you won't even scrape your heel on a rock because the father will send angels to your rescue.
That's security. He challenged him in the security of the word by quoting it to him, and then the next thing that Jesus did was he went on to fulfill his ministry, which was his purpose, and I went, holy fucking shit. Like those aren't just four random words, like Right. What you have given me is foundationally what you lived out, because you wanted us to live that out too through you, Lord.
What you wanted us to see is that we can't do it. If the devil challenges me that same way I. I'm not gonna survive the temptation the same way Jesus did, because Jesus is God. And so that again, comes back to those four needs, can only be fulfilled in us through God, through a relationship with him. And he said, that's what I want you to go teach Ricky that.
And I was like, this is bigger than me. God. Like I, I'm, you got the wrong guy. Like I'm a whiskey drinking, you know, machine. I say, fuck, I like to do it. Like, why would you pick me? And he was like, one word son. 'cause you're relatable. There are people who are in this wilderness who think, I can never love them.
They're not welcome in a congregation. At least they don't think they are. They don't look like the regular, you know, uh, parishioner, uh, they got tattoos, they smoke, they drink. They're just like you. Right? He said, but what they don't understand and what you didn't previously understand is that that stuff doesn't matter to me.
The outward appearance doesn't matter. It's the heart that I care about. So go out there and tell them, just like the prodigal son, go tell them, pack up your shit outta this wilderness. Daddy wants you to come home. That's what I call God. God is my daddy. He's Abba father. And that means daddy. Right? And what do you bring up is a great point because all of my favorite preachers that I listen to, you know, they're all former sinners.
Especially for example, if you like, if you're a kind of person who likes biblical knowledge, like facts, like really analyzing literature and science in the Bible, there's a show called Amazing Facts, uh, with Doug Bachelor. And there's an episode where he goes over his life. His parents were like celebrities in Hollywood and it was a spoiled rich kid.
And then he ended up getting cut off from them or something and he lived in a cave and he stole from people to live. Or even Jelly Roll with his face tattoos and his songs about how he grew up. And you know, he's still not the greatest example, uh, or the best person, uh, but he talks about his journey with God.
Or if you're a person who can only really connect through music, I highly recommend you check out Rare Breed. He's this country, it's like kind of country kind of rap mix music style. And he talks about, you know, he lost his parents at a young age and he ran away from God and everything because of his childhood trauma.
And then, you know, he came back and he's a new man. And I mean, if you connect through music, especially, um, I know there's not a lot of, there's not too much music being made out there that worships God or talks about people's religious journeys, but his music is absolutely amazing for connecting and even just looking at the disciples and apostles and the people who followed Jesus outside of that.
I mean, the Pharisees asked, why does your teacher hang out with prostitutes and tax collectors in this? And like you said, Ricky, Jesus replied, you know, it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick and I have come to, to heal them. So I definitely believe in that relatability. And so if you feel like you have a calling to ministry or preaching with a traditional or non-traditional and you don't feel worthy enough, just always know that, that there's always redemption for us.
And Ricky, you're an example of that. And there's a couple of things I want to touch on before wrapping things up here. So kind of a, a sidebar and a kind of personal, but you had mentioned, you know, that your father had gotten some help after his whole incident with your family, and you've also talked about your journey of healing.
Did you ever reconnect with your father? I tried. Um, uh, it, it. Unfortunately, um, I don't have a relationship with my dad or my mom or my sister, uh, to today. Uh, I had to, I had to realize Mr. Whiskey, that for me to be healthy, I had to create boundaries that were healthy boundaries for me, right? And, you know, they are on their journey.
Um, I, I don't, I'm not trying to say anything bad about them, and I'm on my journey, right? And I just had to make some hard decisions for myself. And so I put some boundaries in place that they were unwilling to, you know, to, to, to live by, uh, with a relationship with me. And so I just said, well, that's okay.
You know, I, I've gotta go my own way. So I made a hard decision to walk away from those relationships. But, you know, that was the decision that I had to make for my own, uh, spiritual and mental health. And, you know, I don't know that that's the right decision for everybody. So please don't. Well, you know, Ricky did it so fuck those people.
Right? No, I tried, I tried to to, to build a relationship and unfortunately just didn't, didn't work out. But you bring up a very important point, which I want to address. So you talk about setting boundaries and you know, for your health, for their health and for your growth. And their growth. And a lot of people, especially in toxic relationships with a romantic partner or you know, for legal reasons like a marriage and a lot of people with family because of the unconditional love, because of the idea of what family is supposed to be like that we strive for, struggle with.
Setting boundaries is your program. And some of the things you teach, you know, is that something is a resource that can help them with setting those boundaries and making that decision. Absolutely. There's, there's, um, one, uh, you know, I'd offer, uh, you know, my book as a resource, uh, accepting Truth, finding Hope.
But there's a number of books. Dr. Henry Cloud wrote one about Boundaries, boundaries in marriage. It, it's a, forgive me, Dr. Cloud, the book is boring as hell, but the content is, is rich. Uh, there's a lot of good information in there. There's also one that he wrote, uh, about necessary endings, and sometimes that's, you know, uh, important conversations and necessary endings, I think are the, the bundled package.
And I'm in no way endorsing, uh, Dr. Cloud here. But, uh, you asked about resources, you know, and so those two, those three books are what also kind of helped me, uh, in, in my journey to understand that it's okay for things to end there. There's natural endings in life. We don't always stay friends with people.
We don't always stay in relationships. God has a way of. Putting people in and taking people out of of our life, because that is our journey. So don't hang on to things that God's trying to get you to let go of. Because if he has to pull them out of your hand, it's gonna hurt far worse than if you're willing to just let some things go.
Right. And sometimes that's carriages too. And I know that, you know, some people are gonna disagree with me that no, God would never want you to be divorced. Well, I'm divorced three times, so somebody explain it to me. I'm a 4-year-old, you know? Well also, you know, sometimes we get married to people and it wasn't God's will.
It was a marriage brought about from our own sin or own poor decisions. And a lot of marriages of my parents' generation and nowadays are of convenience for money or legal reasons or other things. They're not God guided. They're not guided by God. You know, they're not relationships that were founded on the love of God.
I'm not saying you have to get married in a church and do all of that, you know, that's your belief and your tradition. But I'm saying, you know, God is the foundation of love. The greatest example of love. I mean, it even tells us in the Bible what love is. Love is patient love is kind. It does not en verbose or brag.
It does not hate, you know, it is slow to anger and quick to forgive. Yep, that's right. Another thing, Ricky, you mentioned, you know, people being removed from our lives and one of the best quotes I saw somewhere on Instagram once and I've always thought about it, was, God remove that person from your life.
'cause he heard conversations you didn't hear and saw things you didn't see. That's right. I think that's, that's really important to note. So just to wrap things up here, Ricky, what I want to ask about is, you know, your services and what you're doing now for, you know, this, I. Mission that God has given you, which is who would benefit from speaking with you, you know, contacting you and on, on your website.
It's easily filled out. You have a form there to get in contact with you or, or use your services. You have your book, obviously, I know you've mentioned, you know, making a movie and everything. So who will benefit from this? If, if not everyone you know specifically, who do you think will benefit the most from this and who should definitely read your book and maybe even seek out your help?
Yeah, if one, if you're struggling with. Relationships in your life. If, if the things that we've talked about on this program today are resonating with you that you know, you, you had a rough childhood, are you struggling with PTSD from war or from, you know, service or, or whatever it is that's got you in, in a grip.
If you're acting out, uh, with these soo soothing ss like, you know, alcoholism and drug abuse and sexual addiction and credit card, you know, spending, you know, shopping, retail therapy as they call it, right? If these things are, are, are present in your life, or if you're in a relationship where you're fighting all the time, you're miserable, you're, you're just too emotional cups clanging into each other and spilling on one another, then that's something I can help you with.
And here's the thing, here's what I've learned, and this is not to, to knock counselors. There's probably a lot of great ones out there. The first one I saw, he was a great man. The problem with the machine, the system is that they can't talk to you about God. They can't really give you any advice. They can ask you questions because that's how the model is set up, checkbox.
And so, yeah. And so when I think about counseling versus coaching, why do I call myself a life and a relationship coach? Well, it's very simple. We get sidelined by life, Mr. Whiskey, and by God, somebody's gotta help us get back into the game, right? And so a coach is the person who has a playbook. The coach is the person who helps the athlete get off the bench and into the game and become a successful athlete, right?
And that's what life is. In my opinion, counselors are the ones who are gonna wanna sit you on the bench, talk about your problems and take your money. But they're not gonna give you any solutions. Coaches provide you with solutions. I've got a lot of lived experience. Uh, I'm also an educated man, so, you know, I have, I have a lot to, I guess, say offer as well as I'm one of the 1% I guess in the world.
'cause I've actually published a book as well, so that's not me tooting my own horn. That's just me saying if you're, if you need help and you don't want to go through that traditional process, you want somebody who will tell you, you know what? Stop fucking up. You know, and, and here's how you stop fucking up.
Then call me, right? I, I'll help you with your relationship, I'll help you, uh, with whatever those circumstances are. My goals for all of my clients are to identify, overcome, and grow from negative life circumstances. And you won't see that. The traditional model, Mr. Whiskey, which I think is unfortunate, but Right.
That's what I offer to my clients. And you know, you can be yourself with me, you can tell me all your shit. I'll tell you mine. Um, we'll be relatable to one another and you know, we'll be accountable to one another. Um, and I'll help you get where you're trying to go. And if it's a relationship that you need to make a hard decision about, I'm not gonna tell you what you, what you should or shouldn't do, but I'm gonna help you see, uh, the forest, you know, for the trees, so to speak.
Right. And one of the big reasons I had to come on the show today is because the traditional system you speak about, it's even more robotic and check boxed in the military. I'm not saying that to bash on the military's medical system, it's just the way it has to be because there's so many of us, they have to filter out a lot of people trying to fake mental health illnesses or physical illnesses to get outta the military because they are, you know, undersupplied, I remember on my ship it was weeks or months before you could get an appointment to even see anyone to set anything up.
Sometimes I know shipmates who took matters into their own hands because they had to wait a year for a single therapy appointment that was half an hour and was just like, yes, yes, no, no. All right. You know, either here's medication or we're gonna have you do this group therapy, and this group therapy is gonna be reading from a packet.
We're not gonna talk about our issues, really. We're gonna read through this packet. How about you fill out this paperwork on your own and see how you feel? So unfortunately, you know, as we call it, you call it the traditional system, and I think. What we really need is, is a friend. You know, we need God in our life and I think, like you said, a coach, a mentor, a lot of us don't have a mentor in our life, especially my generation with all the family drama and all the trauma from childhood and all that.
A lot of us just need a older person who's gone through life. I mean, you've lived through a lot, you just shared your story with us. I mean, most parents haven't even gone through what you've gone through with your daughter, which, you know, it would break any parent's heart and it, it's a heavy toll, not to mention everything else you mentioned with work and you know, your life.
So I think it's great that you're offering the service and I think it's important for active duty and veterans stay here. I'm saying the military has come a long way in terms of how they address mental health and it's still growing civilian side, I can't really speak for that, but you know, I would assume is very checkbox and medication based and financially driven.
And so I think what you're offering is a great service and. I encourage everyone to check out your website. Like I said, Ricky's website is in his description below for the podcast. Check that out, as well as his book. And my quick plug for religion is I'm gonna recommend the Book of Job in the book of Jonah.
If anything we talked about today you felt like was kind of calling out to you in any way. In fact, on my show there's a series called Davey Jones Locker. And in episode one we talk about the origins of Davey Jones, which a a lot of it suggests it's based off of Jonah. And if you haven't read the book of Jonah or you just want to hear a quick summary of it on my show, check out the episode again.
Book of Jonah is only four. Four chapters is very short, but it has a great message. And the reason it ties into this, how I'm gonna tie it in is God kind of asked a question, what right do we have to be mad about things he does? Things he made, things that we had nothing to do with. And it's just a good question to get you thinking about things.
Book of job. I always recommend that for anyone who's suffering because that's, you know, that's the whole point of the, of the book Job suffered awful, horrendous things. And he argues with God and Ricky. I mean you said it yourself, you did it. I've done it before. We yell at God, we curse him out. Why are you doing this to me, Lord?
I think, I don't think there's a person out there really. There's very few you can find who have never been upset with God. And it's because the frustrations of life, especially if you don't have a life based in religion, you didn't grow up religious or you don't have a relationship with God. I mean, this world just fills you with doubt and frustration.
And so yeah. Ricky, I wanna thank you for coming on the show and, and sharing all of that. I'm glad that God has given you this mission and that you're helping us. And is there anything else you wanna say before we end the show here? I just wanna say thank you, Mr. Whiskey, for having me on. Uh, this has been, uh, a treasure for my day.
And if, if you're interested, you mentioned, you know, you're, you're shameless plug there for, uh, for another podcast, uh, episode on Jonah. I have a chapter in my book called Heathens Sailor or Hateful Prophet, and it's all about, uh, the story of Jonah. And I kind of tell it in a little different way. I don't focus so much on the great fish part.
I focus on what God was up to in the hearts of, of men and, and how sometimes, well, we all start out as a heathen sailor, but sometimes we end up a hateful prophet. And that's what happened with Jonah. And you're right, God asked him, does it do you well to be angry? And man, that verse just spoke to me because I was so damn angry all the time.
And the answer was no, but I didn't know how to deal with it. So. Call me, reach out to me, accepting truth. Finding hope.com is my website. My book is out there. But don't keep doing the same thing, ex expecting a different result. That is the definition of insanity. Get help. It is not me. Find somebody you trust.
Find somebody who can help you. Uh, but I, but I stand willing and ready for any of you who, who wanna reach out. I'd love to help y'all. Especially if you know Mr. Whiskey or you're part of his, uh, part of his audience. I, I'd love to be your coach, right? And as Jesus said, when he healed the man in the temple who couldn't walk, you know, you're well now stop sinning so you don't get sick again.
I'm not saying God's gonna strike you down with sickness if you sin. I'm saying our sin makes us sick. And yeah. Ricky, I just wanna thank you for coming on. It was a pleasure having you. And before we end here, I just wanna thank God for the success he has given both you and I, and for everyone out there who has this calling.
I just wanna thank him and give him the praise. Amen. Amen. Mr. Whiskey
