Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to a couple of nukes as always. I'm your host, Mr. Whiskey. And luckily I brought a guest with a very lovely voice. I meet podcasters every day and she has one of the best voices, in my opinion, that's just my opinion. And I bring that up to say that she will be serenading you.
Cause I'm tired. I slept two hours the night before last, then woke up, worked, drove four and a half hours to the Atlanta pod tour. It was a great time. For most people, uh, you know, for me it was a long drive because I also drove four and a half hours back right afterward to walk my dog. The only reason I didn't stay in Atlanta, you know what, where is she?
I'm gonna put her on blast. I had to come and walk her, and I am mad at her. No, I love her, but it was driving nine hours just so I can walk her. I mean, I, I, at that point I was like, just let her pee on the carpet. I'll just scrub it out. But got back 2am this morning and then I woke up ready to wrestle with life.
Uh, I actually do that every day involuntarily, but I woke up with the mission to do it and if you're not watching on YouTube, I'm at a gym. Uh, through the green screen. I'm not actually at a gym, but I am at what's supposed to be a wrestling mat might be. It's supposed to be. So, yeah, I won't be wrestling our guests.
Don't worry. Uh, but I beat you. So that's a good thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's true. You would, she would beat me into submission and then take my cowboy hat and my boots and I would no longer be Mr. Whiskey. I would be forced to retire. Uh, not because I lost my cowboy stuff, but because of the other shame and humiliation that would haunt me for the rest of my life.
But she, our guest, Ms. M Led, as we call her, she wrestles with life. Quite a bit. In fact, she made a show called wrestling with life. And that's why I'm wearing a hoodie, in the summertime in Georgia, because I'm a wrestler and that's what we're doing. And we're going to wear hoodies and we're going to sweat.
You don't need a hoodie to sweat in the South. No, you don't. Actually, Ms. Emlett just moved down south. Technically, she's like almost the most north you can get for herself. So she's a little bit cooler up there. She just moved to the beach. It's all over her Instagram. Be sure to check it out. We'll have that in the description below.
Emily, why don't you start with that? How exciting is it to go from nowhere, Ohio, as, as you described it, to weeks of moving in preparation to partying on the beach, having a good time? I mean, it's been absolutely amazing. My roommate and I moved down with a girlfriend of mine from college. We have been getting to the beach.
Every chance we get, we're living probably like three miles from the beach. And last night we went for the sunset and it was just unreal. Like I was just looking around in awe the entire time we're there. And I'm like, Kate, I can't believe we live here. I can't believe we live here. We've been here, it's probably been like three weeks now, and I'm definitely missing my friends back home.
I had a great group of friends back there, and I really miss them, but I'm mostly just so excited to kind of reinvent myself and kind of start over in many ways and get into new routines and habits. So yeah, it's unreal. Right. And still drop content all throughout that move, and even had some inspired Episodes about organizing.
I listened to that one. And I was like, yeah, moving is a big thing. I've done it about seven times in the past four years for the military and other stuff. So, um, yeah, I always love packing the car though. Cause I'm like, man, I'm good. I got all that stuff in there, like playing Jenga, you know, obviously you can't be, like my mom and all the other moms out there who have.
Three or more kids and a husband who doesn't help and she's packing the car. It's not that we don't want to help It's the you're not a lot of help. It's the I'm packing the car. You kids are gonna get in the way I know how to do this. I have a very specific Method and so yeah, and it's actually the exact area of the beach in North Carolina that you're at I was going to move there to work at one of the, uh, sulfuric acid production plants there because I was like the beach, like count me in and North Carolina is just beautiful.
It's a little too chilly for my taste, my preference, but that's why I had the couple of nukes hoodie, not available for sale. So I probably be fine. Yeah. But, um, Ms. Emlyn, are you wrestling your friends on the beach? Is that, what you're doing? I should be, honestly, if anything, for the plot for the content, I should be organizing matches.
Um, I did wrestle for a year when I was in fourth grade, I was the only girl on the boys wrestling team and your girl was pretty good. I took home a couple of trophies at a couple of tournaments. I held my own. If honestly I go back in time and I'm like, If I could do it over again, I would have stayed longer, only did it for a year.
And I think it was because it started getting a little weird, you know, like a girl wrestling boys. They started feeling a little weird about it. But now there's so many women's programs at the collegiate level that I'm like, I totally could have been a beast and done that college, college scholarship or something.
It's a shame. Would have been awesome. I, I feel that I went to be on the fencing team and I was the only guy, it was all women. Like for some reason, men thought fencing was not cool. I was like like, what do you mean? This is what men did for years. This is like our primal nature.
What do you mean? It was just fencing's too fancy, you know, cause you're like. You know, it's like how it is, but I did wrestling, indoor wrestling. Uh, when I was five years old, it was either like, it was like first grade. My dad signed me up and I hated it. I was like, I just want to go home. Just want to go home.
I did not want to do it. So I was five years old and I wrote, there's a whole section in my book about this, like, you know, what if I had stayed and. Nowadays, I'd love to wrestle and fight, but when I was five years old, I was like, I don't want this. My dad's making me do something I don't want. And, uh, my dad was very telling, never teaching.
And so wrestling, hunting, fishing, all this stuff, like he tried to force on me, I would love to do now with him or in general, but as a kid, it just, the way he went about it just like ruined it for me and I often think like imagine I had done wrestling It's so funny. In my book I talked a lot about how our parents don't make sense to us sometimes like they really don't They were like you got to do a sport, you got to do at least one sport, you know that's a healthy well balanced kid.
So I was like, okay I want to do hockey. They were like, no, you're not allowed. It's too dangerous, too expensive. And I was like, but I really want to do hockey. I love ice skating. My sisters were taking figure skating lessons at the time I joined them. I was like, I love ice skating.
I hate the cold. It's like the one, number one thing I hate in the world. So it was very ironic. I hated it, but I loved ice skating. I was like, I want to play hockey. They're like, no, it's too dangerous. So they signed me up for lacrosse and I was like, what, what, you know, how dangerous lacrosse can be and how expensive it can be as like, what is this?
And then I missed the age cutoff by like two days. Uh, so now they go, okay, you're going to be a band kid. You have to do either a sport or an instrument that's required. And I was like, okay. I'd like to do guitar. And they were like, not allowed. Too common. Pick something else. I was like, okay, I want to be a classic gentleman.
No, something else. And then they gave me the violin and I was like, okay, I, why, why, why even ask? You know, my dad used to do that all the time. He'd come up to my sister and I, he was like, Uh, do y'all want to go to the store with me, like grocery shopping, cause he would do it every single day just to get out of the house after he retired and we were like, no, he's like, uh, well you have to go anyway.
I was just asking him to be nice. I hate that. I hate that. But yeah, we're going to talk a little bit about, you know, some of the troubles you've had in life. Maybe they're worse than that or better than that. I don't know if you can one up me with, sports like that, uh, but at least you won, medals and trophies, I won nothing, I just won the shame and guilt of being a man who quit wrestling because he wanted to hang out with his sisters instead, I guess, you know what, I love my family, formerly.
And, uh, that's what was important to me at the time, but no hockey. Um, I still have all my teeth, so I guess it's a trade off, they're not in the best condition. Uh, going to all these podcasting conferences, I'm like, okay, everyone has their teeth white except for me. But it's okay. It's funny. I, um, I showed my sister my new hat and she was like, oh good, it brings out the yellow in your teeth since it's a white hat.
And I was like, okay, I'm not talking to you. Let's get into your life and what led you to make a podcast that is a place for people to get advice and share their stories and to learn how to wrestle life because no matter what, at some point, we're all going to have to wrestle with life, no matter how prepared we are, life is going to throw us a curveball or something, sometimes multiple in a row, sometimes the world kicks us when we're down and In real life, you know, when we wrestle, we have rules, like you can't hit them below the belt.
You can't just start like punching and kicking people, but life doesn't have rules. Life does not play by rules. Um, when we're wrestling against life, it's for our life. You know, sometimes it feels like it's to the death. So yeah, a hundred percent. podcast, which I created about a year ago, I had just kind of gone through a few years of my life that.
We're just filled with a lot, a lot of struggle. Like we all struggled through COVID for sure. Then, you know, I got laid off from my first job out of college. I was working in Columbus, Ohio. I had just moved there. I was so excited about my first job and then COVID hit, got laid off, lost my job. Same time I went through a really devastating breakup.
I had been dating someone for three years at that time. Wow. And then we broke up after I got laid off, and then we continued to be off and on in this, like, weird situationship for, like, the next three years as we were both just dealing with a lot of our own personal issues that we needed to deal with on our own but weren't dealing with on our own.
And then, yeah, just the combination of all those things, it created just this new kind of struggle, this new struggle with self esteem that I had never felt in my life before. Um, leading up to COVID hitting and graduating college, I guess life had been pretty easy for me. Like things came very naturally to me in my life.
I was an athlete my entire life. So I played soccer in high school, in college, love soccer to death. I told you, I wrestled, I ran track. And I, to be honest, I got really comfortable being the best at a lot of things. I was kind of one of those people who like naturally excelled. I was really, it was really easy for me to talk to people.
Like I just didn't really have a lot of struggle. The only struggle that I had was kind of like behind the scenes, like my own mind tended to be my biggest enemy. And that continued and just amplified when things stopped being easy for me, when I lost my job, when COVID hit, when my breakup hit. So like, as I was going through everything.
You know, it was, I felt like everything that I was learning as I was going through it, it didn't feel right to keep it to myself. I was like, here's all these things that I'm learning. I'm in therapy. I'm getting some of the answers that I've been looking for to these things. I need to share it with the world.
So I started my podcast about a year ago and I started sharing everything. And then really my biggest struggle over the last year has been running my own podcast where I'm sharing vulnerably and I'm sure, you know, running your own podcast, sometimes like sharing those things that are really deep, it can be very excruciating to lay your heart out on the table and be so honest about what's not perfect about you.
And so I think at this point in my life, I'm getting used to Okay, I for such a long time, I was like this person that had my shit together and that's how people saw me and now I'm so honest about like, no, none of us have it figured out. None of us have our shit together. All of us are struggling.
So I guess it's this new identity for me in a way and learning how to lean into that. Well, it's interesting that you said that. About this toll or effect that it can have on us by sharing, because in a lot of episodes, we talk about how sharing our story can impact other people, you know, how you never know who it's going to resonate with.
And it's funny, the last episode was with a guest who had a terrible breakup at the same time the pandemic started and she started a podcast kind of synchronicity here. But. What we discussed was living out loud and recovering out loud. So others don't die quietly. And, in the last episode, we focused on how podcasting is therapeutic for us as the host as well.
You know, it does help us realize things. And actually in my book, I wrote about what really surprised me was. There was a time I had a guest and she said something and it just stabbed me through the heart, you know She had said something that I had never realized about my life. Like it was perfect and I'll share that here's Yayoi Komiyama She said children like to be heard, but they're mostly ever just seen and I, I really felt that, you know, children want to be heard and listened to, but most of the time parents just see them and just talk to them.
They don't listen. They're not receptive. And I realized how much of my life that was the case. And after that, that was the first time on camera where I was like, am I going to make it to the episode? That was wow. I just. Yeah, that's powerful. Yeah. I was like, children want to be heard and often they're not there, even as a teenager, a lot of adults get this kind of belittling attitude toward you because you're a teenager, younger, even when you're in your twenties, everyone's still belittling you for your age.
And trying to detract who you are as a person or from what you have to say. And I think it's such a messed up concept in this society, looking down on people because it's like, you haven't lived life, which as we know, as most of our guests have shared on both of our shows. Some people live a lot of life in a short time, you know, yeah, there's definitely, a lot of wisdom that comes with age and experience, but there's a lot of experience that can come despite age, and so I hate that concept.
You can be cautious when talking to younger people and be a little bit more warning, when you speak to them about stuff, but. That belittlement in the pushing aside children and making them feel not heard, and that has a lasting impact for life, you know, especially with self esteem.
And I think it's part of the reason, you know, I speak a lot against social media, especially the community of young women on social media that is, propagating each other to seek attention just for, you know, their physical appearance, there's a lot of bad stuff going on social media. I think part of that is.
Not being heard and they feel heard because they have all these people reading their comments or their captions or interacting with them on their streams or whatever it is. And that's the issue that we discussed actually is that because parents aren't playing that position, because parents are just as distracted in the technology and in the social media as children are nowadays, besides work, besides their romantic lives, their friends, they have a lot to do, especially in such stressful economic times, you know, parents are very worn thin, since they're not playing that role.
People don't have mentors at school, right? Because teachers can't be parents for every student, you know, the guidance counselors have 15, 16 kids to take care of each minimum. So there's no mentorship. And what people are doing is taking the social media to be heard, to use it as an outlet. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who will listen to you, but not for the right reason, or will validate you in ways that perpetuates, like false self esteem or whatever, and then what I want to ask you about is talked about going to therapy, I know women are a lot more likely to go to therapy than men, but were you still having some kind of mindset, especially going from someone who was seen as perfect to me needing therapy, but I can do everything.
Why would I need therapy? Like, what was your mindset? Or by that point, had you developed like, I need help and I'm going to get help? That's a good question. I think there's a lot of, like you said, stigmas around therapy, especially for men, we know it's a lot harder for men to seek help than women for sure.
There is a little bit of that, like, you don't want people to pity you. So, like, sharing out loud, like, oh, I'm going to therapy. You're nervous to tell certain people because you're like, oh, I don't want them to think I'm a basket case type of thing. But I got over that pretty quickly when. I just knew how beneficial it would be for me.
And I am such an external processor. Like growing up, the moment that I had a bad day, I would come home to my mom and just unload on her. And I would just tell her about what was going on, what I was struggling with and being able to talk through it is how I would get through my problems. So I knew therapy would be invaluable for me for that exact reason.
So once I kind of got over like, the social stigma of it and I just saw how beneficial it was and I developed a great relationship with my therapist. It became something that I was so proud of and I saw so much value in it that I wanted to tell everybody about it and I was like this tool being able to Get really deep with someone who's an objective third party, who's not biased, who has nothing to gain by telling you what you want to hear or by softening the blow.
Like it can be brutal. Sometimes in therapy, it's so needed because then you can grow. Then you can see yourself more objectively through a realistic lens rather than through the lens of your mom, who your mom loves you. She can tell you truths, but they're going to be a little softer probably than a third party who has nothing to gain by being kind to you.
So once I saw that, I shot it from the rooftops now. I think everyone could benefit from therapy, whether you've gone through really traumatic, horrible life events, or you just, you have low self esteem and you want someone to talk to about it, whatever end of the spectrum you fall on, it's worth it.
If you can afford it, if it's available to you, there's so many options out there. But yeah, don't be afraid and, and don't let other people's perceptions keep you from getting the help that you need. So you mentioned sometimes therapy can be brutal, you know, feel like a personal attack, which it kind of is, you know, it kind of is a personal attack.
Yeah. You know, could you share with us like what was the most shocking thing that occurred throughout your therapy that you just had never realized about yourself And was it one of those moments where as soon as someone said it, you know You look back and put together all the pieces you were like, wow You're right.
Like I never noticed Yeah, that's a great question. I think the biggest thing that's been really difficult for me is realizing how much growing up in a very Christian focused home impacted me actually in a negative way. And I love my parents so much. I'm so thankful for the Christian upbringing that I was given.
And I still believe in God to this day. However, I do think With the church specifically, there's a lot of like fear mongreling that happens very early where it's kind of like, this is how you should act. These are the things that you should do if you want acceptance, or you're going to hell. And it's this very extreme, act this way or something bad will happen.
And what I realized in therapy is that so much of my need to be perfect. Stems from that and not wanting to, um, do anything that's going to make people not approve of me, disappoint my parents, make me go to hell, whatever extreme it is. So that was shocking because up until that point, you know, I had never even really questioned my faith.
Like I definitely had moments where I was like, You know, do is God real? You know, like all the big questions that we all struggle with, but I never saw it as something that deeply hurt me or deeply affected me or held me back as it did. So that's something that I'm still kind of working through now is okay.
I know I believe in God, but all of the details feel very, I guess muddy for me. And. I am def definitely dealing with a lot of anger towards the church that I'm trying to separate this faith that I have from the imperfect people who are just like me and aren't perfect either, and shouldn't be the reason that I questioned my faith.
But you know, we're only human and I'm working through all those emotions now. But yeah, that was definitely the most revealing thing. Okay, not what I was expecting. That's pretty interesting. Yeah, you know, I am a preacher I have a radiating faith shameless plug for my podcast where I preach and I've moved away from the church not Because of stuff like that necessarily so I was raised Catholic, which is very traditional.
It's one of the strictest Not the strictest, you know, there are much stricter religions and faiths, but I was raised Catholic. And for me, what ended up happening was through that church and through my parents, especially my dad, mainly, you know. Religion was really twisted. It was very cherry picked. It was very, like you said, you said fear.
What I like to say is it was told, not taught. And there's a lot more wise to the Bible than just either heaven or hell. I mean, ultimately I understand why that's put out there, but there's. reasons beyond that for why you should do stuff. And parents and the church don't really explain that why.
And what has really helped me with my walk of faith, is one, like you said, separating, knowing that the people that represent religion, most of them misrepresenting it, they don't represent God, they represent organized religion and people. They represent who we are, humans, you know? Yeah. None of us could represent God because none of us are close at all to that.
Hundred percent. Like, And what I always use the analogy is like, if you met an employee. Of like SpaceX and they were a jerk or stupid, you know, you're not going to be like, well, I guess everyone in the company is an Elon Musk must be a jerk or stupid. I know for a fact, he's not stupid. I don't know if he's a jerk or not, you know, I don't follow him, but I mean, he's gotta be a pretty smart guy.
So smart, probably smarter than me. But I don't think he has a podcast. So take that one. I've never seen him in a cowboy hat. So take that one. But I don't want to diss him too much. Next thing I know nowadays. People were setting up, they'll set me up to like box him. They'll be like, all right, first it's Jake Paul Musk, uh, and Mark Zuckerberg.
I guess it's like a WWE wrestling with life. They'll be hosted by you, sponsored by MLED wrestling with life podcast. Yeah. I'll be the presenting sponsor. You already have the mat behind you. So it's perfect. I know all I need is Elon Musk to appear. Watch this. Uh, yeah, it would have been awesome if I could just, you know, like, Hey, maybe I'll edit it and make him appear, but, um, I don't want to get sued.
So that being said, oh yeah, religion. So, you know, if not that Elon Musk is God, no one take that out of context, but you know, like if you look at the CEO or the founder of any company and you just met one of their lowest employees, high ranking employees, it doesn't matter, it's not representation of who they are.
Right. I mean, just think about the place, any place you've worked, we've all got that one coworker we don't like. Right. I mean, Oh yeah. And since I work for myself, that co worker is me, uh, wrestling with myself, but, you know, that's where I am with that, there, there is a lot of fear based, which I don't agree with.
I agree with. I mean, it's just like human history and the old kingdoms and empires and even the government, you can always either rule with fear or rule with love. And, a lot of people, when it comes to religion, want to rule with fear, which I don't understand. That's kind of the opposite of what we're called to, you know, I think if you lead with love and teach about why those things are important, and the book I'm publishing is a faith based book and it's about whether you're religious or not, Bible has a lot of wisdom to it.
You know, there's a lot of wisdom to it. Like I was going over, it was amazing. There's a lot of parables. There's a lot of stories in the Bible that are very true to this day and age. A lot of our moral rules and laws are based on that. And you look at, I mean, all our sayings can be found in the Bible.
We just worry a different way. You know the love of money can yeah Evil, you know, there's another one What I can't help thinking about right now in this moment is just like the life of jesus and how he lived and how If we look at him, he is the biggest inspiration for what we should be basing our Christian faith on.
Whereas so much teaching out there is fear based, like you said, in judgment and very black and white. This is how you should be. Jesus never held people To that standard, did he call them out when there was sin going on and they weren't living their life correctly? Yes. But he called it out in love and he still loved them.
There wasn't judgment. He hung out with prostitutes. He hung out with tax collectors, you know? And so I look at Jesus and. All I see is love. All I see is nonjudgment, acceptance, authenticity. And, you know, he wrestled with human emotions, anger, sadness, like he experienced the same life that we did here. And that is where I genuinely feel like we as the Christian church need to just pivot and all be moving more like Jesus, myself included, you know, less worried about perfectionism, which is.
So much that it feels like Christianity is rooted in like doing the right thing. Always grace just needs to be preached more grace for ourselves and others. The world will be so much more harmonious and peaceful when we learn that. And the fact that you always have people. Who aren't perfect holding you to that standard as well.
It's always such a competition, when it's not supposed to be, and you know, I support accountability, holding each other accountable, but there's mockery and condescension, and then there's accountability. They're very different. So it reminds me of, I was on Indeed, not a sponsor.
It's a job searching website. And sometimes they have you take a test randomly. And I applied for , it was a while ago. If it was for like a, even though it was for babysitting or something, They made you take like the elementary school teacher test and it was long, took me like an like an hour.
It was a in in depth thing and I found out a lot about myself through it because you get like five options, multiple choice, pick the one you're most likely to choose, and it was always like if this kid is doing this, what are you doing? And I always picked Ask them about their behavior and try to understand where they're coming from, whereas everything else was very punishment disciplinary, either publicly or privately.
Mostly publicly, it was very like harsh. And I don't know if Indeed scored me as a good teacher or a bad teacher. I'd be very curious to, know what they're looking at. But for me, I was like, if you just discipline without understanding the why, you're never going to get anywhere in my opinion.
You know, children, I mean, children do act up sometimes for no reason, but most of the time, what they're doing has a reason behind it, especially, in school where there's a lot of, wanting to fit in social circles, peer pressure, children also don't know how to cope with whatever's going on at home, you know, a lot of times children who are acting strange in school or acting different all of a sudden, they got something going on at home and like I said, they don't.
have parents who listen to them, or if the issue is their parents, they don't have a mentor to listen to them about that. So I think it's very important both in the faith and with children, whether they're your own children or you're teaching at the school or hosting an event, to understand, because you can always discipline after you understand.
But when you understand them first and you make them feel listened to, And then explain why where they did was wrong or that there's better ways to go about it. I think that's much more fruitful. Yeah, I absolutely agree. And if you look at our school systems and capitalism in general, like our entire world is built around these metrics and these ways of measuring like grades.
Did you do good or did you do bad? Like it's teaching our children very early that their worth and whether they're a failure or not is based on their ability to perform. And so much of that can be combated. Like you're saying, by being a good parent that gives unconditional love, regardless of performance.
Right. And like you said, this, being nothing but numbers almost, you know, it starts with grades, but look at how social media is, who has more followers, who has more downloads, who has more, whatever it is, it's the same way as it is with grades. In the military, especially I saw this where the people who had the lower scores.
We're the best workers. They had work ethic. They stayed longer. They would do stuff where the people who had the highest scores were the laziest were the ones taking shortcuts. They actually were worst workers in a nuclear program than those. And it's funny, if you look at his statistics, most of the people who actually ended up making it through that program, which is America's hardest academic program, it has so many people drop out of it or fail out of it.
Most of the people who make it. Where the average or below average people, when it came to that grading system over there, especially once you get to the fleet and onward, because they had the work ethic, and I'll say, and I guess it's like a 4. 0 GPA scale that we use. And so people would be like, I rather work with someone who was a 2.
5 or 2. 9 or then, you know, a three eight or because they are used to working long hours to having to work. You talk about being perfect and then finally facing something you're like, I'm not good at this. And when I got to nuke school, they gave us a bunch of presentations and they're like, Hey, y'all are the 1 percent of Americans who can actually qualify for this job.
Y'all are like the smartest of the smartest. And most of y'all probably didn't try that much in high school. You just knew stuff. You just got good grades. Everything came naturally to you. This program will challenge that. You will not be able to do that. Only 1 percent of y'all 1 percent will be able to just naturally pick this up.
It's very difficult. And so many people, myself included, were like, nah, you know, dude, we've always known everything. It's easy. And we all, that was the first time we've ever had academic setbacks or had low grade points or had to study. Some of us were studying for the first time, learning how to write notes and draw diagrams and stuff.
I think it really challenged a lot of people. I took it as an opportunity to learn and grow. I was like, okay, so I guess, I need to study some things. Not everything's going to be natural to me. And I formed good study habits and work ethic from it. I think, like you said, how you respond because you and I both easily could have down spiraled, when you had all your difficulties, you could have used, especially during the pandemic, That is excuse to just rot away in bed on social media doing whatever instead you took it as a I'm gonna change my life And so you've got your show now, and I know how has it been having you've had your family members on and close friends, correct?
So, how is that experience? You know especially with your parents like did you learn stuff that you just wouldn't have imagined it? Has it made y'all closer? Definitely. I mean, even just coming to them and being like, Hey, this is a topic that I want to talk to you about. Like, for example, with my dad, I came to him and said, like, you are the person in my life who I see as having integrity and doing the right thing.
I want to talk to you about like, how you live your life that way. And so we dive into this topic and. So many things about him that he hadn't shared with me about like his own struggles to do that situations where, you know, he had the opportunity to do the right thing and didn't. And this is my dad. And like, I think we kind of grow up seeing our parents as like these perfect people are role models, you know?
And so it brought this element of humanity for them. And. I think too, you know, somewhere in my therapy journey, I think there's a lot of emphasis of let's find out what went wrong in your childhood to like, make you the way that you are. And that's definitely the case in some situations, but in mine, like it was, I think mostly the.
religion foundation that really messed with me. My parents were very loving. They were very understanding. They just always kind of made space for me. Like I've always had very big emotions. They've always made a lot of space for that, you know, so they always let me be me. So it wasn't like my parents screwed me up in childhood.
Um, But like having these conversations with them and seeing that they're not perfect, it gave me a lot of grace for my parents because our parents do the best that they can with what they're given when they become our parents and they're flawed, imperfect human beings too. And as a kid, you grow up and you just don't see your parents that way.
So like to really just look at them from a different lens and be like, okay. You guys were 22 and 23 when you got married, you were just a little bit older than I am right now. When you had me, it just changes everything to look at their life, to see their struggles and be like, wow, like you were a kick ass parent for what you had at the time.
You broke so many generational curses that your parents had that you didn't pass down to me. It just really moved me from being, you know, a kid to being their friend, like being their kid to being their friend and having more of an adult relationship with them. So my parents killed it. They did great on the podcast.
I've had my siblings as well. And you know, we've, we've been close our whole lives. So I can't really say I learned too much about them in the episodes. Um, but having my close friends on has been Really freaking cool because I think I've challenged them also to be more vulnerable, like to get on a microphone and share the kind of things that you and I share.
It's not easy and it's not normal either. It's not normal at all. So to give like my friends who have never done something like that before, an opportunity to do that. It was really cool to watch them open up and start thinking about things differently and challenge themselves to say things out loud that maybe they haven't before.
And you said something that really resonated with me, which was big emotions. Uh, your parents made space. Mine did not. So, you know, it's interesting. And I've actually had a lot of relationship issues in the past with big emotions, either being called too caring, too romantic, too, emotional and all that stuff.
So I'd love to delve into that with you about. Sure. I'm glad your parents made room for it. If you can kind of talk about what you mean by that, starting just there, like how did they accommodate that? Or just knowing that that's who you were and kind of elaborate on what you mean by big emotions, like how that is played out in your life.
Sure. So I guess how I describe it is I've just always felt things so deeply. So like, if I'm having a bad day, I'm having the worst day ever. And if I'm having a good day, I'm literally brimming with joy. Like you can feel my joy. And I would just, everything that would come at me, every emotion, it would completely consume me and dictate my ability to function that day.
And I've always been kind of like, What I would call highly functioning. So like, even when I was feeling those big emotions, I would feel them behind the scenes, like with my family. And then I go out in public and I knew how to slap a smile on my face and be strong. So my parents really growing up made that space for me to process those big emotions.
So my mom calls it Emily bombing. And. Basically, I, I will pent up my emotions for a long time because I feel this need to be strong and perfect a lot. I'll let it boil. So, you know, something will upset me. Something little will happen. I'm not happy about it, but I keep it in and it would grow and grow and grow and grow until I would Emily bomb and I would come to my mom and my dad.
My mom was kind of my go to growing up. She, she just knew how to handle me very well. And she would let me cry. She would vent. She would let me just. Let it all out. And she would just give the best advice. And she told me as an adult, she's told me, you know, you just had so much fire in you and so much passion from such a young age, she's like, if you couldn't do something, it frustrated you so much.
You've just always had this wild self belief and desire to like do everything. And she was like, I was so afraid that I was going to kill your fire as your because I was trying to, you know, Reprimand you, like get you in line. And she's like, I didn't want to kill your fire. I wanted to empower you because she's told me, she's like, you've just always felt so big, you're so different.
You process things differently than most people do. So I just love my mom for that, for seeing that in me from such a young age and like doing everything she could to help me work through it rather than reprimand me and try to make me, you know, conform or behave. And I, I look back and I'm like. I know how difficult it is to be an adult now and to work a job and take care of the home and balance a social life.
Add kids on top of that, how, how well she handled me. I just look back with so much gratitude for that. And she's just such a badass and I have so much respect for her and my dad as well. But, but yeah, they just, they always gave me that space to feel. And a lot of the feeling that I had. You know, I got to a point when I was older where I looked at all these emotions that I felt, and I thought that it made me weak.
I was like, why do I have to feel everything so big? Does this make me like a weak person? Cause I'm such a sensitive soul. Like, does this make me weak? And it's only until recently that I realized actually how strong that makes me. And that was just like a lot of self judgment getting in the way. Like, Because I'm sensitive, because I'm deeply feeling, because I care so much about everything.
It gives me the capacity to do the podcast like you do and to kick butt at everything that I, that I do because I have that fire, but like everything, there's pros and cons to all of it. So I have this great asset to do all these amazing things, but I also Emily bomb, you know, No, I understand that a lot.
That's very relatable. Not, not, not the mom part. My mom hates me, but, um, she loves me on some level, but I don't talk to her anymore. But I was going to say, the, the being sensitive, the If it's, if it's a bad day, it's the worst day. If it's a good day, it's the best day. First off, ladies and gentlemen, you haven't listened to them.
Let's podcast. I do listen to it when she's talking about being passionate and the energy just brims and you can feel that joy. I literally listened to her talk about like making a list of what you need to do for the day to pack your stuff. And it was like, so awesome. I was so into it. She was so happy.
She's like, she does her little giggle and she's like, You know, talking about writing sticky notes, uh, cause not every episode is like that. I was just, the one I listened to, it was about how to be more organized in life, which some of y'all are very messy. Definitely check it out, but that passion, you can hear it.
Like the conversations are great. And, um, I was going to say actually for everyone who's watching, I don't know if they'll show up, but this ring is, let's see if I can get it to focus. It's the phantom lantern ring, in DC comics. They had the lantern course, which each core is connected to a single emotion.
Like, you know, everyone knows green lantern is willpower. You know, red lantern is rage and hatred. Yellow lantern fear. The phantom lantern ring was one that was made only one ever. It was connected to the entire emotional spectrum. And I actually got it after a pretty traumatic event, where I was told I was too emotional and there was a lot of stuff going on and I got it.
As a reminder to be less emotional, but also that there's a lot of great things that can be made from that, like you said, and I really appreciate you talking about, how you thought it was weak because I've had a lot of times where I was like. I hate being like this. I hate caring to have a breakup or be in a situation where it was like you care too much, or you were too gullible, too trusting.
So many times I've been betrayed by friends or the same kinds of people or the same people for being too trusting, too caring, too forgiving. And my friend described it. No one say I'm saying I'm Jesus. I get that all the time. My friend described me as. How he said that Jesus came not for the healthy, but for the sick.
And my reputation used to be tarnished from hanging out with people and outcasts that everyone else hated. And most of them were pretty bad people and people never understood why I did that. And for me, it was always like, a lot of y'all have not taken the time to get to know them or are so surface level, or you know what?
Once someone is outcasted in one place seems to like, you know, is a momentum is kind of builds like it ripples throughout one person says one thing and then everyone suddenly forms the same opinion without actually knowing them. But yeah, what's always been interesting about me is I'm a huge movie buff.
I watch a lot of movies and shows when I have time, which isn't often, but. I think I have cried during almost every single movie I've ever watched, sometimes multiple times, because I get so into it, so attached to the characters, and I can feel, I'm so empathetic, like, sometimes I'd be crying too much, like, every movie and show, but I can You know, those real events or even those fictional events that are based on real life human pain and experiences, like, I really get into that, you know, when someone has something, and it can be something I've never experienced, you know, even like the death of a parent, but I can, I'll cry if I see that in a movie, and I see the way it affects the family and all of that, like, I'm so, like you said, we're so emotional and intimate and sensitive, and I've struggled a long time with it.
Finding a balance, especially when it comes to relationships with, you're too romantic or caring. It's just too much. I never knew you could be too romantic, but they're like, you, too many gifts, too many compliments. You're like, it's too easy. Which is like, Oh, okay. It's too easy. Should I love for someone to get me too many gifts and compliments.
Like, I don't know who these people are, but, um, yeah, so I get that. And I guess for my parents. It was that, we don't have time for this, which they did. My mom didn't work, but it was like, we don't want to tolerate big emotions. And my parents knew I was in a very emotional, insensitive person, which my dad made fun of me, of course, as men do to other sensitive men, unfortunately.
But my mom, I was surprised she didn't make that time to be a little more patient, especially when it came to arguments and disagreements, like, she knows that I cry even when I'm angry because I don't like to be angry, especially at my family or people I care about, like, I don't, like that stuff.
I'll get teary eyed when I have to fight my friends, you know, I don't want to fight my friends, you know, I love them, I care about them. And, I've always, people have always mistaken that for weakness, you know, not wanting to, it's not that I don't want to stand up to people. I just lament at the idea that we can't have peace, that we can't, that we have some of these confrontations, especially depending on what the subject matter is.
So. When it came to like your big emotions and, having that turnaround where you're like, you know what, it's not weak. It's made me strong. Was that really a self discovery or did therapy play some part of it or your podcast? Like what really brought that about where you were like, you know what, I want to be this way and I want to keep being this way.
And do you still have regret over it? Or you've mastered who you are because when you mentioned I like, why were you made this way? That, that really resonated with me because I've often have conversations with God, like, why did you curse me with such a big heart, such a caring heart?
It's like, it's a blessing and a curse, you know, unconditional love. And it's like, God, you've let me, I've had the same thing happen over and over again. And it's like, you know, it sucks. So if you could explain that a little bit. Yeah, absolutely. I definitely have not mastered myself whatsoever.
I'm very far away from that. And I don't really think any of us will reach that in our lifetime. And I think that's a nice big sigh of relief for all of us because we're never going to have it figured out. And that's really nice to not have that pressure to figure it out. Definitely. Have gotten to a place though, where I wouldn't change the way that I am, but that doesn't make it easy to be this way all the time, especially on the bad days.
My dad actually said to me recently, he's like, there are some people in this world, Emily, and I think you are one of them that are tortured souls where you are very smart and your heart is very big, but because of that, you. Overthink, and you wrestle with yourself a lot more than the average person. I'm like, yep, that sounds like me.
The overthinking is, now you're personally attacking me yet again. Back to back to back personal attacks. I understand that, especially when being smart doesn't help because then you think of all these crazy things that other people wouldn't. We think too much. We think of every single possible thing, but also like, I'll assume that you're a people pleaser as well.
I used to be. okay. Yeah. Because when it comes to people who are sensitive and big emotions, a lot of times where people pleases because, we care a lot about how other people feel about wanting them to be happy. And I'm still working on, I've done a lot in the past few months and past year on setting boundaries and, transparency and accountability.
Uh, but it's still hard. I still, want to, you know, forgive people who have hurt me because I don't want to lose them. But, there comes a point of self respect and self love that I'm trying to learn and understand that, I can't keep letting the same people hurt me, especially for the same reason.
And that, we can only be responsible for other people's choices and lives so much. And as empathetic as we are to what they're going through and feeling like we're living it ourselves too. It's their life, not ours. Well, let me tell you something my therapist told me about people pleasing that blew my freaking mind.
Okay. She told me people pleasing has nothing to do with you wanting to be a nice person or you wanting to care about other people like we think it does. It actually has everything to do with us wanting to be in control. Of situations to avoid conflict to keep the peace to not rock the boat because we don't want to have to deal with the emotional turmoil of that.
And it makes sense when we're sensitive, deeply feeling people that we anticipate. Oh, this person's going to be upset at me. They're not going to like me. They're going to tarnish my name, whatever fill in the blank they could do against you. We're trying to avoid that outcome. And that's actually the root of people pleasing.
When she told me that I was like, holy shit, this is just my need for control projecting onto other people, but I'm disguising it as, oh, I just, I'm just a good person. I'm just nice. So after she told me that I was like, That's not going to fly because that's not being authentic to me and what I really feel and I'm definitely not perfect at it and I think it's easier to people please when you feel like there's a lot on the line and it's just like not worth the confrontation and you're like picking and choosing your battles like that's one thing.
But if it's a way of life, it's completely different. And like you said, the self respect and the self love to be able to look at someone and be like, I love you so much, but you are taking away from my life more than you're adding to it. You can't be here anymore. It's really hard to do that, but it's so necessary.
And I've done that several times over the last year with different people in my life, and I have absolutely no regrets over it. Doesn't make it easy, but I have no regrets. Well, especially when it's family or like a lover, then it's especially hard, you know. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's fortunate, you know, so, and typically that's where it's the worst in life when it comes to people pleasing is because, well they're family or, I love them and you put on all these additional, Excuses, justifications for why you have to do what you do.
So I'm like, where do you see the future of your show going with everything you're going through, you're growing as a person every day and perfecting, you know, kind of like. Your mission and what you want to do with the show. So where do you see it going? Great question. I think right now we're going to be pivoting the show in general to a little bit more of a positive, fun, lighthearted vibe.
The last few episodes, the last few months got really deep. I had, friends on talking about drug addiction, porn addiction, just really deep battles with yourself. And I'm not going to lie, like having those deep conversations and going into a place of my deepest shame really took a toll on me to like, talk about that kind of stuff.
So I was like, this is not sustainable. We need to lighten it up a little bit. So me and my roommate Kate, who just moved to North Carolina with me, we're starting a series. We're calling it seaside sagas. And we're just going to be talking about our experience, moving to a new state, completely starting our life over, making new friends, working and living in a new city.
We're trying new things like surfing that we've never done before. So really pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone. And we're going to just be getting on the mic every week, talking about what we experience, who we meet, our fun stories, struggles that we have. So it's still wrestling with life, but it's a little bit more.
of an inspirational spin and just hoping to encourage people who have ever thought about moving and starting over that it's possible that it's not going to be easy, but we're hoping, that it's worth it. And so far it has been. So I'm so excited for that series. I think it'll be a really fun, nice pivot.
Well, and at the time of this recording, the most recent episode was about How, as creators cringing at our old content or ourselves sometimes, like, I didn't listen to it yet. I just saw some of the clips of it and I was like, you already know, it's got to be a lot of chuckling going on, like cringing at our old stuff, like at our moments.
And how has that been going from, just being a person to being like a social media, like all over, because I mean, was your life kind of very private beforehand? And now it's all over kind of. I've always loved social media. I've always been kind of an open book, even with struggles that I've had on social media, I've tried to always keep it real.
But this is definitely like a big step further than what I've ever done before, and I'm not going to lie. There are times where I'm like, man, I think I just need to step away from social media for a while, because for one, like my nine to five jobs in marketing. So I'm already spending a lot of my day on social media for that job.
And then I have a podcast and then I'm looking at it socially and I'm like, it's definitely not healthy to be on social media as much as I have been. So. I'm definitely still trying to find that balance. I try to create more than I consume, which I think is really important. But I also look at where I am right now, like I'm three miles from the beach.
I have an entire life to rebuild here. Like, there's part of me that 100 percent wants to be like, you know what? I'm just going to take a break from social media and really focus all my energy on being exactly where I am being present, building my life here. But then I'm like, I want my podcast to grow and I want to put stuff out there.
So I'm currently battling with that. I don't know what I'm going to end up doing. Do you struggle with that? Cause you're kind of in the same position. So I definitely do wrestle with social media. I tried being a bit of an influencer. That was. That was awful. I have taken down my cringe content.
Don't worry, ladies and gentlemen, you won't find too much of that. It's Well, first off, I would say hate on me. If you want, it is a lot easier to be an influencer when you're a woman, when you're a man, it's a lot more difficult. You have to have a certain energy and a certain, which I don't have.
Growing social media has definitely been difficult. The attention span YouTube sources is about 20 seconds. It's very difficult for me for what I do to get 20 seconds. That is like. This is great advice or this is really funny and this is really gonna bring people to my show or whatever.
I've had a couple clips that have done great. I've had a couple that do bad. Sometimes I feel like I spend a lot of time on social media and, but I don't have a big following at all. Emlett has a big following, but I don't have a big following at all. You know, I only started Instagram for a couple of nukes, like three, three, four months ago, I do post almost every day, but I'm doing it for the future, for whoever wants to look back.
Or, you know, stuff just randomly shows up in the feeds and I'm not sure who it's going to resonate with, you know? So I like to have it out there for whenever it might hit. And I mean, I've seen other people who are much more popular than me, where Some old content that they had for some reason it just fell into the right hands at the right time and suddenly it blew up And it's like everyone's talking about that.
So you never know. I definitely have had issues actually though my friends confronted me Because mr. Whiskey is a different life than I live and we were hanging out and They're like, you keep trying to do all this stuff for Mr. Whiskey. And I explained it to them, you know, everywhere we went, I wanted to bring stuff so I could turn into Mr.
Whiskey and film this short thing or do this thing. And they just want to hang out and have a good time. But I explained to them that social media for podcasters, for YouTubers and all that. I mean, that's like our lifeblood. That's how we reach people. You know, it's, I mean, word of mouth.
Sure. I can tell a hundred people about my show, but social media lets me reach so many people faster. And word of mouth is at these podcast conferences. As podcasters, we can only listen to so many people as podcasters. If I listened to every podcast from everyone I met, I would have probably, almost 3, 000.
A podcast in my library right now, I don't have time for that. I barely have time for one or two podcasts, you know? Right, right. Plus I have to listen to all my own episodes at least twice. So, , like, and I run two shows, so I have to listen. I already listened to so much. Yeah.
Which that was an adjustment. And like, I don't know if it was for you, uh, 'cause you have a much better voice than me, but I hate my voice. Not as much anymore, podcasting has helped me build confidence, voice acting, I've gotten a lot of compliments from people. But I grew up, hating my voice so good in my head.
And then, obviously I think everyone's the same way. It sounds great in your head and then you hear it on the show and you're like, oh my goodness, that's awful . But it's so weird for me to listen to my own self talk, you know? Yeah. I play back my episodes when I'm walking my dog, and it's like I'm talking to myself sometimes, you know?
I was like, yeah, yeah. This is weird. So how has that experience been with you, like just hearing yourself and seeing yourself so much? Because before social media. I was like, I know you were involved with it. I was never a guy who was, you know, men in general aren't as big on social media, most, you know, not all, you know, if you look at a man's Instagram, maybe he's got like three or four pictures and they're like years apart.
Half of them are like crappy quality. You go to a woman, sometimes she's posting once a day, once a week, months, even the women who are not as big on social media, they're still posting. More than like the highest ranking men, you know, for me, it was. Weird to go to it's helped me develop a lot of confidence.
For some reason, Mr. Whiskey is a lot better looking, I think, than who I am normally. But, I've also built a lot of confidence in who I am because I've, grown a lot of skills when it comes to taking photos and videos, uh, far from good. I mean, but compared to zero, I've gotten a lot.
Um, so for me personally, the journey has been a positive experience. But like you said, it can be overwhelming. I mean, it's such a high demand to constantly make shorts, make reels, make posts. Yeah. And people don't understand the work. Even with AI tools, it's still a lot of stuff with files, stuff with caching, stuff with recording.
You're doing all this stuff, trying to schedule it. Some things can't be scheduled. And it takes up a lot of time. It really does. And then doing that nine to five, uh, of doing that, The last thing you want to do is come home and do that all for your own stuff. So yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. Well, first of all, I think you have a great voice.
I think we are more judgmental of ourselves than anyone else's, but it's been a struggle for me for sure. Because in the past, how I use social media is like, I would only create when I felt inspired to create. Like when I was like, I really have something to say. I really want to share this. And there's a different energy behind that.
When you share something from that place. Versus with this podcast, it's like, okay, so I just had an episode published. So I probably need to post like two or three reels to support that episode. So then you're almost coming from a place of like, you have to check it off your to do list. So it's hard to bring the energy and the excitement when you're creating from a place of obligation rather than inspiration.
So that's been a huge struggle for me is that it feels forced sometimes. And so as I've been reevaluating how much I'm on there, I'm like, Do you know what? I feel like I'm still going to post on social media, but maybe I'll just do it when I feel inspired, when I really have something to say and not make myself do it, because this is supposed to be fun.
And if that means that my podcast grows slower, so be it. I don't want to lose the passion that I have for it. By trying to like pump out five pieces of content each week. And I think the other thing I want to say too, is it is weird. Like you said, to perceive yourself, to watch videos of yourself and edit them, to listen to your voice and edit it.
You are seeing yourself in a way that you've never seen yourself before. And it's almost like you then start thinking about how other people are perceiving you way more than you normally would. And I don't think that's healthy. I don't think it's healthy to constantly be. Thinking about how you come off.
It's more important to my messages. Authenticity being yourself being all of you. And so I've had to really discipline myself. Like when I first started, I was so anal when I was editing my podcast episodes, I was getting rid of every single, um, every single awkward pause, every single thing that wasn't perfect.
And a year later, first of all, I don't have time for that shit anymore. So I've used up on that. But also it's not authentic if I'm getting rid of every little imperfection. Sure. It might flow a little better if I do that. And if it's really bad, I'll still edit it out, but I've eased up on that a lot.
And I've also kind of made a rule with myself not to look back at my old content because I get very critical of it. And I'm like, this is how it could have been better. Whereas this is the first time that I've ever run a podcast before. I don't know about you. This is my first time ever doing this. So I've decided to give myself grace and be like, we're not going to look back at old stuff because you're just going to be critical of it.
So I don't let myself look and I try to just give myself grace as much as I can and remind myself that I'm learning and I'm growing and I'm doing something that most people in their life would never have the balls to do. And I let that be enough. Well, you know what my issue is? I go to all these conferences and all these meetups and again, everyone's like, yo, it's Mr.
Whiskey. I mean, everyone treats me like royalty. I love it. Appreciate y'all. Uh, but you're there and these are the. Serious podcasters. These are the top podcasters in the world. Some of them, and my issue is I'm always comparing myself to podcasters. Some of them been doing this for 15 years, but I want to be there now.
And it's like a podcast. Isn't something you can kind of brush, like it genuinely takes time. I went on an event once and we talked about the infinite race. Really? That's what we're in an infinite race. You know, there is no finish line. Like we're putting out our message.
And that's what matters. And none of these podcasters are really, I mean, I'm sure there's some of them that are competitive, but it's like, we're all supportive. And they know, they understand where we're at. I mean, when I tell people I've only been doing this a year and a half, I mean, people are like, yeah, it's going to take time.
And I have other people were like, wow, you've put out more episodes in a year and a half because you're consistent. And I've been doing this for five years. And I, Have an episode every few months, you know, right. Life happens, but right. Some stats just for you guys in case you're not aware of this out of the, there's over 3 million podcasts in the world.
Out of that only 400, 000 are active about. So just look at that. How many are still going? The statistics show that. Every day, about 593 more podcasters quit. So M Led and I today have both surpassed 593 people. And I'm not saying that to detract from them, you know, they have their reasons for quitting.
There's a lot of pod fade for a lot of good reasons. A lot of people think it's easy that they, you just start making money right away or that, you know, it's easy to come up with ideas to talk about this and that and generating new content is difficult. Well, it can be. Especially I like we said about the feels forced, you know, it's like yeah I feel posting on social media every day or every other day is a lot and like it's a lot Forcing yourself to go do these photo shoots or trying to like I said, I have my two lives and trying to be mr Whiskey all the time When I'm hanging out with friends and being like, Oh, wait, wait, this would be perfect to record something here.
And it's like, they don't want to have to constantly be my production team. You know, I feel awful asking my friends to take photos of me because men hate taking photos of other men. Sorry, girls will be like, Sure, girlfriend, you're so beautiful. Slay. My guys are like, Dude, you're so gay. Don't ask. I'm not taking a picture of you.
Like, go ask. Go ask some stranger to do it. I'm like, I'm not. I can't stop a stranger and be like, Hey, um, you know, I'm a small time celebrity podcaster. Can you take some pictures of me? Like, and then no offense gentlemen, but y'all suck at taking photos. My friends taking the worst photos so bad. I'm like, bro, how do you, how do you even look at this from this angle and be like, this is good.
You're like barely in the picture. You're in like the tiny little corner. I know. So what I do is I get my selfie stick and I set it up and I just film a video and then I just take a five minute video and I screenshot everything that ends up looking good. I'm like, if you can't do it, you know, I'm going to have to do it myself if no one else can do it right.
But what I was going to say is. A further statistic, only about 7%, it's really 6. 33 percent about, only about 7 percent of podcasters actually make it to a hundred episodes. And then from there, you know, that number goes down even. More small, it's called smaller. Uh, but yeah, so 7%, I mean, think about it.
So I always say that as an encouragement, you know, for these podcasters who are approaching a hundred episodes or plan on it, you know, or have made it a congrats, you know, 7%. And so that. Those people you're seeing on, on Apple podcasts or Spotify that are the big gurus, they're like 3 percent or 1 percent of a 7%, you know, and I think that's part of my issue.
And that is that, you know, I'm always looking at these other podcasters. I'm like, I want to be like them. And some of these conferences are reassurance. Cause I talked to new podcasters or other podcasters. I'm like, you know what? I'm, I'm doing good. I, but like you said, we are our own worst critics. We're chasing perfectionism and burnout has been a huge issue for me, especially with the social media aspect of things.
Because if it wasn't for social media, recording episodes and sending them up, easy day. Uh, you know, there's, there's editing, there's guest booking and all that, but that's it. Making all these shorts and everything, and uh, maybe I should try doing what you're doing, the, not having to take a picture of myself every day.
I hate that. I'm not a selfie addict. I recommend it. I recommend it. Yeah, like, Create when you're inspired to create. And if that means that you don't post for a week, you don't post for a week. Like your business isn't going to crumble. Maybe people who are used to seeing your content every day are going to be like, Hey, Mr.
Whiskey. Okay. Like what's going on over there, but I'm going to lose everyone instantly. I'm like, no, you won't. You won't. I follow people who don't post every day and I don't, I don't unfollow them the minute they stopped posting. Yeah. It's not like I'm going to disappear for three years. Right. Well, if I do, I'll have a podcast about what, what happened and where I was.
I'll come back with a big beard. I'll be like, Mr. Whiskey senior. And they're like, what happened? Like, you'll never believe it. Well, seriously, like what I remind myself is this is supposed to be fun. Like I started this because it was a passion of mine because I wanted to make a difference and I'm not helping anybody by burning myself out for the sake of, Oh, it's going to look bad if I don't post for a week.
Oh, I'm going to lose people. If I lose people, I lose people. Like it is what it is, you know, and it's that need of, we want to be great. You know, we, we've poured our heart and soul into what we do and that's amazing, but life will go on, you know, if we're not perfect at it and that's okay. And it's much more important to make sure that you love it.
You're happy, you're invigorated and you don't want to quit because we want to be in that 7%, you know? So we got to set ourself up for success that way. Right. So that's what you're doing now on the wrestling of life podcast, ladies and gentlemen, that's in the description below, you can find it pretty much anywhere you get your podcast.
We'll also have M leds Instagram there where there are beach selfies. You know, there are some beach selfies and, she has been taking advantage of living three miles away. So that's fun. That's great. Looking forward to seaside sagas, but ladies and gentlemen, check out the older episodes that are serious too.
You know, there is a time and place for that. And it might be something that really speaks with you. So I encourage you to check that out, to share a show, give it a review. So. you leave us with? If anything, you've left us with authenticity, you know, self discovery. And all of that great stuff, as well as a whole podcast of all great stuff. But right now, if you had to drop your little, I don't know what you would call it.
Like, are you a coach technically? Because like, I'm not a coach. If your show is wrestling with life, you're technically the coach of the team, right? I'm the team captain. I'll be the team captain. How about that? Yeah. Varsity team captain. If I had to leave, I love that. Yeah. I don't, I don't want to wrestle, but then if I get angry enough, maybe I can get something done.
Yeah. I would say like life is just too short to be in your head. And that is where I spend a lot of my time. Is in my head. And so I'm actively every single day doing whatever I can to get out of my head and to be as present as possible. And that's what I'm seeing everywhere is stop worrying so much about the future.
Stop ruminating on the past, just be where your feet are. And when I can do that successfully, that's when I feel the most joy. And I think that's when all of us will feel the most joy. So try to do that as much as you can. And thank you so much for having me. This was great. First of all, thank you for everything you shared with us.
And. I look forward to us connecting again. Yeah, me too. Thank you.
